Biology And Cellphone Ringtones - The Perfect Mix!

Many believe the end of the world is nigh - and here's one more tidbit to support that hypothesis!  Researchers in Japan have discovered a cellphone ringtone that, if heard often enough over time, will encourage women to grow larger breasts. Now that's progress! The elusive tone mimics the sound of a crying baby and the thought is that women's brains will be tricked into wanting to care for the infant (i.e. lactate) and hence grow the larger breasts. I've never experienced lactation (TMI!) but I can't imagine signing up for a tone that would go hand-in-hand with constantly making the front of my shirts wet with breast milk. But hey, that's just me! If you're a man and you don't want the moobs, never fear - these scientists have you covered. There are ringtones for men that enhance memory, make you more attractive to the opposite sex and cure baldness. I can literally hear men booking flights to Japan right now! It seems scary to mess with the mind and body so greatly, but there's a million things already present in our culture meant to do the same, so I guess my point is moot. How else do you explain Fall Out Boy?