Breaking News: Private Jets Are Fantastic!

Here's Oprah's commencement speech to the grads at Duke University. The following are a few of the more interesting highlights, especially her insight on what it's like to be mega-wealthy: "It's a wonderful thing to have beautiful a home, or homes. And it is really fantastic to have a private jet. And anyone who says it isn't is lying to you. That jet thing is really good." Perhaps your experience is different than mine, but I'm not even in the realm of being close enough to someone who owns a private jet - much less chummy enough to have him/her placate me with a 'don't worry, it's not that great' kind of sentiment. Oprah, of course being Oprah, does have the the ultimate question in the quest to a perfect life: "How do you get someone else to move to higher ground? How can I help someone else move to higher ground?" And I have the answer - take people on rides in your private fucking jet. They'll be at higher ground and then some. I don't even have to ask if she's friends with Trudie Styler, as I already know that she's chummy with like-minded rich people who simply adore their means to private travel.