John Mayer's Perfect Lover: Found

Hope you're sitting down - it's himself! He generously told a crowd in L.A. the other night, "It's intriguing writing about my life. These songs are about me, my life and everyone in my life." He did all of this self-congratulatory chatting while simultaneously making the "O" face and Tweeting. Choice lyrics, ripped from the headlines that pose as his life include, "Friends, lovers or nothing/There can only be one/There is never an
in-between/So give it up/You whisper 'come on over' 'cause you're two drinks in/And in the morning it's 'goodbye again." So, like, deep. His parents should have skipped the rigamarole and named him Narcissus. Truth in advertising! He doesn't need a girlfriend with that much self-loving going on, all he needs is his hand and a mirror. Sounds like Scheana Marie might have already been kicked to the curb for Mayer's real desire. To quote the brilliant Ted Casablancas, "John Mayer's women are like his Tweets - annoying." And how!