Heh, Heh

[What's particularly funny about this spoof is that I'm pretty sure Craig Brown has taken bits and pieces from real Goop newsletters and made her sound completely incoherent and pretentious - so, basically, it's sort of honoring the spirit of Goop:

Go-I love film. After a yummy meal for the whole family and some truly great friends, we often go out to see something beautiful and unique.
-Here's a tip for all moms. Never ask young children to pay when you go out to the movie theater. It is simply unfair to ask a four-year-old to pay for herself.
-Why not give her the trip as a very special present? That way, you--and she--can learn so much more about what it is to love and to give. Repayment can come later.
-Next week, we learn to ride a bicycle with a world-expert bicycle nutritionist.

Do
-Many of you have asked if I have any tips on how to get leggings on quicker. My in-house leggings guru advises rubbing onto your legs a paste made from five spoonfuls of extra-virgin olive oil, turbinado sugar, and coarsely ground fair-trade coffee. If you have any further problems, then next week I'll be recommending a truly great creative-leggings clinic.

See
-What is it about books that make them so truly great to read? I think it's the way the words are printed on every page, the right way up and in just the right order.
-This means you can start reading on the first page and then continue reading through the middle pages all the way to the last page.
-Here are some of my absolute favorite books. War, by Leo Tolstoy. A great read. Bonus: You can get it as part of a two-volume edition which includes Peace by the same great author.
-Shakespeare, by Shakespeare. He has so many great lines. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "I am the Walrus." "My heart will go on." They're part of the language.
-Next week, we learn to peel a banana with a world-expert fruit psychologist.]

Click here to read the list in it's entirety - it's hilarious! Kudos to the stalwart mag for bringing some much needed levity to the intolerable "Gwyneth situation."

[Photo Credit]