Pamela Anderson and PETA have once again joined forces to screw everything up with good intentions and a general misunderstanding of how message-advertising works. While it is commendable that they are working towards no fur, no leather and no animal skins in clothing, the only way for any advertisement to work is by:
1) Not having it be so weird and flashy that it overshadows the bigger message.
2) People actually seeing it.
The commercial was supposed to debut tomorrow in all three New York area airports. However, according to Examiner (where you can watch the video and realize just how stupid it is), the CNN Airport Network has banned the advertisement called "Cruelty Doesn't Fly," which depicts Pamela Anderson working for sexy airport secrurity, stripping down anyone who has any fur, leather or animal skin for clothing. Now, this is a creative idea, but then, along the process of making the commercial, they decided to make it ultra-sexy (borderline erotic, with actual nudity) and include dance music. Also, proving to always be hip and relevant, the PETA commercial also includes Steve-O (shirtless) and Andy Dick (sporting a "I'm With Stupid" shirt). Yes, PETA, way to show everyone that you're with the times.
PETA, your heart is in the right place, but your brain is totally missing. It's unbelievable that PETA has yet to figure out how to exist without extremes. All they had to do was get the word out that clothing shouldn't include fur and leather and instead they make a video that Kim Kardashian would be smart enough to not touch.
To refresh your memory on just how terrible PETA is at making sane and rational decisions when it comes to advertising, four years back, they released a campaign called "Are Animals The New Slaves?" and compared animals to black slaves before the NAACP pointed out just how effin' insensitive it all was and PETA agreed to shut it down.
There has to be at least one sane person there on the advertising team whose ideas are constantly turned down before the crazies get on-board their own train.
"Ok, everyone, we need to save the turles," says advertisement director Rick.
"Why don't we show a beautiful video collection of turtles swimming freely in clear, clean water? Maybe we could put some important facts in there too. I think it could be really vibrant and subtle, but also get the point across," says Kevin.
"Kevin, just...shut up, will ya? How is that going to help? We need to make a video that everyone will want to watch, not some lazy, boring video of stupid turtles swimming," replies Rick.
"I got it!" yells Mary. "We'll make a video where it shows two underage boys, one is being mean to turtles on the beach and the other boy lectures the mean kid, and then Pamela Anderson comes out from the water in a bikini, strips down and has actual on-screen sex with the nice boy! It'll be shocking because there's nudity and the boy is underage, so everyone will talk about the commercial, and then it'll show that Pamela Anderson will have sex with anyone who doesn't harm animals!"
"Will she really have sex with anyone who doesn't harm animals?" Rick asks excitedly.
Mary shrugs.
"That's brilliant!" exlaims Rick.
*sigh*
Seriously, it doesn't seem that far off to believe that PETA will soon want to show that fishing is torture someday, but instead of providing facts and a well-reasoned argument, they'll instead release a video (directed by Don Hertzfeldt and Chris Cunningham) of fish stabbing fishermen in the face with industrial music blasting and a siren or a strobe light flashing on the beach. Following the fishermen's murders, the clay-mation fish will all start speaking in a language that no one understands, screaming at each other (angry and excited), before finally all looking at the camera and simultaneously speaking in terrifyingly deep voices, repeating "WE ARE THE FUTURE." Then they'll rape the fishermen, laughing and telling the dead fishermen that this is what they get for killing the ocean. And then, for no reason at all, Pamela Anderson will come out and say, "Protect our natural habitats. Please. Or I'll kill the next child I see fishing."
I swear, every advertisement PETA does is like something from German expressionism. They should just lose the pretense and hire Mike Myers to direct their commercials as Dieter from Sprockets and let GWAR make an appearance.
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