The current newsstand cover of In Touch is hilarious - and who couldn't use a good laugh? Though Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt have failed to reunite since their split five years ago, apparently the big day is just around the corner! Thank god, because I've been counting the moments until Brad and Angelina Jolie finally break up - and I was getting pretty tired. No need for a stocking stuffer honey, I've got my gift right here! A summary of the article, courtesy of Jezebel: [In Touch
"Yes! They'll Reunite!"
Re: The cover
image: Do you love how they are Photoshopped together, with her arm
disappearing into his chest? The cover copy reads: "Jen waits for Brad at
the resort they love." But inside, what they mean is: She went to a hotel
in Mexico she'd been to with Brad and "waited" for him to text her.
"After a few glasses of wine on November 13, his pal reveals that Jen
ducked away from her group of friends and exchanged a series of text messages
with Brad that crossed the line from friendly to downright flirtatious."
Oh, and you know how two tell-all books about Brangelina are coming out?
Angelina's "tarnished" image is driving Brad away, and he thinks
she's brought this on herself because of her addiction to attention. The copy reads:
"Brad isn't worried about how the books will affect Angelina, but how they
might hurt their children." A source says: "Maddox is old enough to
Google his mom now, and Brad is afraid he'll get hurt." Jen's friend says:
"Brad seems haggard. All Jen wants to to when she sees him is give him a
big hug and tell him he'll be fine." Oh, and Brad and Jen have reconnected
over Norman, Jen's sick dog -- who used to be Brad's dog, too.]
Once again, Jen is painted as the pathetic loser who pines for Brad. Whatever opinion you hold about Aniston, that approach is more stale than day-old bread. (You know, the kind you use for stuffing? I'm really reaching for that T-day theme.) Slipping off with a glass of wine and her cell phone? You forgot the vibrator - she surely pleasured herself while listening to those old messages she saved off her answering machine from Pitt all those years ago. As much as I'd like to see the wind taken out of Angie's sails, I fear the story holds as much truth as, well, a tabloid.
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