December 2009 Archives

Out With The Old - In With The New

Lindsay Lohan wins on both counts! While it would be somewhat cumbersome to sum up the decade in one swoop, this video does a pretty good job. I'm looking forward to 2010. I hope the Grim Reaper takes it easier in the next year - and I hope married men learn how to keep it in their pants. Or their wives pants - whatever works! It has been an honor to write for you in 2009. Panty Line Press will be one year old in mid-January and that will be one helluva celebration! The new year will bring more quality posting, travels, stories, snarky (but loving) humor and many celebrity interviews. One big change is my decision to post Monday through Friday. I feel I'll be able to better serve you by giving myself some time to catch my breath on the weekends. I think my husband will appreciate it if I develop conversational skills beyond celebrity news! 

I appreciate everyone who takes the time to visit PLP - especially those who return on a regular basis! I know you have a lot of choices as to where you get your gossip commentary, and I'm thrilled to be a part of the mix. I hope you enjoy yourselves this evening! Have a blast ringing in 2010 - and please be safe. I want to see you all back here soon. I'm entertaining some dear friends from out of town (not a euphemism for "hangover" - ha ha) so I won't be posting on Friday. I owe it to my pals to ply them bacon bloody marys and lemon poppy waffles. Did I mention that I'm a hedonist? However, I highly recommend that you check out Crazy Days & Nights. It's the big blind item reveal day and it's going to blow your mind! I'll be ready to rock with you on Monday, January 4th. xoxo

AT&T Hangs Up On Tiger Woods. Interesting Side Note - Charlie Sheen Also Not Allowed To Use The Phone.

Thumbnail image for tiger-woods-flexing.jpgAs we wrap up 2009, the financial fallout from several torrid affairs continues to haunt Tiger Woods. I hope Domino's Pizza is hiring - between what will surely be a costly divorce and the loss of numerous sponsors, Tiger might be needing a job! Details, via Gossip Cop

[AT&T has just hung up its affiliation with Tiger Woods. AT&T's logo used to prominently appear of Woods' golf bag, and was the title sponsor of a PGA event that he hosted this past July. But in light of his alleged infidelities, the telecom decided to drop Woods. The phone company joins the consulting firm Accenture in severing its ties with Woods. Meanwhile, other companies like Tag Heuer and Gillette have limited their marketing with the disgraced golfer.]

Meanwhile, we've got Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller Sheen. While the couple holds no company endorsements, they are also barred from the phone. Is Almond Joy looking for celebs to promote their brand? Almond Joy has nuts (and Mounds don't) - and these two would be freakin' nuts to try and reconcile after their massive Christmas Eve fallout. Details, once again from the awesome Gossip Cop

[Yesterday we said prosecutors would oppose the lifting of a restraining order that bars Charlie Sheen from seeing his wife Brooke Mueller, who he's accused on threatening with a knife. And we were right. Assistant District Attorney Arnold Mordkin put his money where his mouth is. Prosecutors filed a motion opposing the dismissal of the restraining order.

The prosecutor in the Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller domestic dispute case intends to fight the request from lawyers on both sides to dismiss the protection order that keeps Sheen from communicating with Mueller, OK! magazine is reporting.

Arnold Mordkin, Chief Deputy District Attorney in Pitkin County, Colorado, says, "In the case of domestic violence, we do want the victim to have a safety plan in place." The magazine also quotes Mordkin saying that as a matter of principle, "We always oppose lifting the protection order."

Judge James Berkley Boyd will hold a hearing on Monday morning at 10:30am, although Mordkin observed that it's not clear whether the hearing is to make a decision on the motion or merely to set a date for deciding. Mordkin explained that the protection order currently in place does NOT prevent Sheen from seeing his twin sons. It only prevents him from having direct contact with Mueller.]

Given that the new year is rapidly approaching, it looks like these folks will have no choice but to greet 2010 with a big ball of crazy.

[Photo Credit]

Will 2010 Be Foxless?

Thumbnail image for megan-fox-bw-panty-shot.jpgNo, unfortunately I'm not talking about Megan Fox. Despite getting voted "Worst Actress" of 2009, I'm sure we'll be seeing plenty more of the salty sexpot. This is another matter, entirely. It's the countdown to 2010. It's also the countdown to negotiations between the Fox Channel and Time Warner. Which will be dirtier - your New Year's celebration or this big-business shakedown? Looks like we'll have to wait for the dust to settle to be sure, but it sounds like things are getting tense. Details, via Gawker

[If News Corp. and Time Warner can't resolve their spat by tomorrow, Fox is pulling all of its channels from the cable system. Hmm... Is losing American Idol worth never having to see Glenn Beck again?

Fox is trying to get $1 per month per subscriber from Time Warner to carry their broadcast network (cable companies currently retransmit broadcast stations for free) and the cable provider doesn't want to pay that much for their more than 8 million subscribers. They have countered with 30 cents per subscriber. The deadline for negotiations is December 31, and if a deal isn't reached, all the Fox channels from your Time Warner Cable service.

In an internal memo, News Corp (which owns Fox, of course) President and COO Chase Carey writes, "At this time, it looks like we will not reach an agreement and our channels may very well go off the air in Time Warner Cable systems at midnight tomorrow, December 31."

That sounds awesome! No more Fox News, even if you want it! No more Fox Business Channel, which no one wants. No big deal, right? We're trying to make the best of this situation, so here are some pros and cons of what would happen in a world without Fox:

PRO: We would never have to look at Peter Griffin's fat face on Family Guy ever again.
CON: We will gouge our own eyes out if we don't get to see Sue Motherfucking Sylvester on Glee.

PRO: Finally, we won't have to watch the 11 millionth season of nip/tuck, which jumped the shark 10.5 million seasons ago.
CON: Damages was just getting good!

PRO: We won't have to bother to learn what Fuel even is.
CON: What if the next Jersey Shore is on Fuel? Oh man, we gotta get Fuel, even if it sounds like a shitty rip off of Red Bull rather than a cable channel.

PRO: Fox Sports en Español won't make us feel bad for forgetting all our high school Spanish.
CON: We actually kinda like footie (and all the players!) so seeing the Fox Soccer Channel go would blow.

PRO: No more stupid dramas and crappy reality shows on Fox.
CON: We'll have to watch even more CW than we already do, which might cause us to commit suicide or think that we're actually living inside a Gossip Girl episode.

PRO: We won't be lining Rupert Murdoch's pockets with cash.
CON: We will be nothing if we can't make fun of American Idol. Give us our fucking Fox, bitches!]

I knew 2010 was going to be different, in a hugely good way - I just had no idea how good! Now this folks, is drama.

[Photo Credit: I can't resist her either - and I figured this story needed a little sex appeal.]

Mash - Secrets Revealed

Thumbnail image for kourtney-baby-dash-l&s-cvr.jpgI'm sure you've been waiting with bated breath as to why Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick have named their baby Mason Dash Disick. I postulated that it was because the Kardashian's are insanely prideful of their own name. Well, the results are in. Here we go, courtesy of Life & Style

["The first time I started looking at baby names, Mason was the only one I liked," Kourtney tells Life & Style. "It was the only one that stuck with me. Right before he was born, I told my aunt we were thinking about going with that for a name. She told me that Mason means the same thing in English that Kardashian means in Armenian -- stone worker. Another aunt told me my great uncle used to use the name Mason when he made dinner reservations, because Kardashian was too long. When I heard that, I thought, Oh my god, it's meant to be." And the middle name, Dash? "Dash is not for my clothing store, as some people have suggested online," says Kourtney. "That would be stupid. Dash is short for Kardashian, and it was my father's nickname." And as for Mason's nicknames? "We call him Mase and Baby Mason. And then all of the cutesy names: Gorgeous, Precious, Munchkin, Angel," Kourtney tells Life & Style.]

So, his name is basically Kardashian Kardashian Disick. I, for one, shall call him Mash. I'm getting a kick out of Kourtney's quote, "That would be stupid." Mainly because that's what I think of her decision making skills - and I'm a huge fan of irony.

She Wants To See Them Squirm - But Not On Top Of Each Other

Jen-seperate-BradAngie-at-the-oscars.jpgYou would think, with 2010 right around the corner, that the "sad and lonely" Jennifer Aniston versus "red hot couple" Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie stories would finally be winding down. After all, it's been five years. How much more can there be to say? Apparently it ain't over until it's over - and in tabloid journalism, that means NEVER. The latest? Jennifer is set to stare down Angelina in yet another public face-off in mere weeks. Details, via Life & Style

[It was the moment everyone watching the 2009 Oscars had been waiting for. When Jennifer Aniston walked onstage to present an award, she stood just 12 feet from her ex-husband, Brad Pitt, and her archrival, Angelina Jolie, who were sitting in the front row. Now, as Brad and Angie celebrate five years together, Jen will meet her fears once more. She was just announced as a presenter for the 2010 Golden Globes, taking place on Jan. 17 at the Beverly Hilton in LA. Brad and Angelina have attended the past two ceremonies together, and with Brad's movie Inglourious Basterds up for four awards, including best drama, the actor is sure to attend this year as well. "Jen can't wait to see them because she wants them to squirm," an insider close to Brad and Jen tells Life & Style.

Jen hasn't said which category she'll present, but at the Oscars, she announced best animated feature -- even though Angie's movie Kung Fu Panda was a nominee. So she wouldn't shy away from presenting the best drama -- setting up the chance to give the award to Brad's film! Even if such a tense moment comes to pass, Jen's not worried. "Believe me," the insider says, "she's really looking forward to this."]

Why would she be "looking forward to this" exactly? It's not like Angie is in anyway repentant; and at the end of the day she still has Brad under her shirt-ripping thumb. The only way Jolie would be jealous of Aniston is if Jen were up for (and won) an Oscar and Angelina was somehow left out in the cold. Which, let's face it, is never gonna happen. I would love for Jen to have her cold dish of revenge served in Angie's face. But really, how can Jen one-up her after sleeping with John Mayer?

[Photo Credit]

It Does Not Pay To Eff With SJP!

Thumbnail image for sjp-family-new-twins-at-home.jpgAh, Sarah Jessica Parker - how I love thee. Let me count the ways. One: You survived Square Pegs. Dare I say, you even made it special. Two: Sex & The City, times eternity. Three: Sex & The City, the movie and the sequel! Take that money and run, girlfriend. Just give me what I want. Which is more of Carrie Bradshaw - always more. Four: No one messes with her babies. And I mean no one - not even wayward policemen! Details, via Gossip Cop

[Barry Carpenter, the former Ohio police chief who prosecutors alleged had broken into the home of Michelle Ross - the surrogate who carried Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick's twins, Marion and Tabitha - was just sentenced to two years and eight months in prison.

Last month Capenter was found guilty of the three felonies of receiving stolen property, theft in office and tampering with evidence after he testified that he took photos of a file that contained ultrasound pictures of Broderick and Parker's twins. He denied, however, that he intended to sell the items to the paparazzi. Carpenter's attorney says he'll appeal the decision. There's been no comment yet from either of Broderick's or Parker's camps.]

This of truly a case of "who can you trust" when you're a celebrity. I'm trying really hard right now to restrain myself from comparing the real life faulty cop to SATC's Mr. Big. Only instead of trying to steal baby photos, Mr. Big has stolen Carrie's heart. But then I remember that there is fact and there is fiction. Thank goodness for the occasional doses of reality!

[Photo Credit: Just one, big happy family!]

Isn't The "Sell-Out" Tag A Bit Redundant?

kevin-jonas-wedding-people-mag-cvr.jpgThe eldest Jonas Brother, Kevin, recently wed his bride, Danielle, in a lavish fairy-tale (read: Disney) themed wedding. Where can you see these exclusive photos? Why, only in People magazine of course! That's not sitting well with some folks. Apparently Kevin's wedding should be shared freely with the world. Hey, only one woman reaps the benefit of his spanking new penis. Why shouldn't only one magazine benefit from his wedding? Just sayin'. Apparently former Us Weekly editor Bonnie Fuller doesn't feel the same way - she's even penned a letter, detailing her disappointment in Kevin. Details from Hollywood Life, via Celebitchy

[I'm wagging my finger at you Kevin Jonas for being a sell-out! You of all people have no business turning your wedding into a business. By that I mean, giving all your wedding photos to one media outlet--exclusively.

I don't fault People magazine for doing whatever it took to get your photos with your bride, Danielle Deleasa, on their cover. That's their job--to try and get exclusives.

I fault you, Kevin! You are a huge star. And not just a regular huge star--but a HUGE teen star! You and your brothers are adored by multi-millions of teen girls around the world. You've sold over 8 million albums and most of those buyers have been under 20 years old.

I believe that when you have such an enormous fan base and are such a HUGELY popular star--you have an obligation to share with those fans.

That means giving a free, non-exclusive handout photo to the world's media, so all your fans can share in your Big Day--not just those people who buy one magazine. Especially one that doesn't even focus its content on your fans.

Kevin--I also want to be clear that I place the blame on you, not Danielle. After all your experience in the public eye--you are media savvy--not your new wife.

You should have been a fan-friendly class act like Ivanka Trump, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, Ellen DeGeneres, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, and Julia Roberts to name a few--who all released wedding photos non-exclusively for all their fans to see.]

Dang, honey! Someone has got her panties in a bunch. As far as the bold "sell-out" labeling, it's a case of too little, too late. That tag happened when the first Jonas Brother CD was released. 

[People Magazine Cover: Only in People, by People, for People. Somewhere, Bonnie Fuller is apoplectic.]

Help - Stampede!

michael-lohan-main-wikipedia.jpgMichael Lohan, Lindsay Lohan's charming father, is single and ready to mingle. If you want your private conversations taped and would possibly like to get kicked in the vagina... well, we've got the guy for you. Despite recently released allegations by Lohan's ex-girlfriend, Erin Muller, Michael is trying to put her over a barrel by releasing a tape of her screaming at him. So, it's safe to say that they've broken up and are going to stay broken up. Don't you dare try to swoop back in on him, Erin. Hotness like this should not - nay, can not - be bogarted. First up are the allegations of abuse, via What Would Tyler Durden Do

[Lindsay Lohans' dad Michael was arrested on December 14th for violating a restraining order put on him by his ex girlfriend Erin Muller, and yesterday Muller stepped things up by filing papers with a New York court claiming Lohan beat her at least a dozen times during their 2-year relationship. Some of the highlights...

Dec. 9, 2007: Michael Lohan "slapped Erin in the face twice because Erin accused him of giving her a fake watch on her birthday.

Feb. 2008: Michael "punched Erin in the mouth" because she had a male friend on Facebook.

March 2008: Michael "whipped a computer cord" at her face but she blocked it with her hand ... causing a laceration.

May 5, 2008: Michael "kicked Erin Muller in the ribs."

May 2008: Michael "kicked Erin Muller in the vagina, bruising it and causing substantial pain."

June 2008: Michael "spit in Erin's face, and beat her repeatedly with his fist." Then he "yelled at her to 'stop crying c*nt -- other people will see you -- if they see you, I will kill you!'"]

If you've ever wondered where Lindsay inherited her crazy from, just refer to the above. It appears that Michael has decided he's not responsible for any of the above actions. He's got a tape where Erin is yelling at him - so, naturally, it must be all her fault. Umm, not even in the slightest - but we're talking about some pretty skewed thinking here. Details, via Radar Online

[Michael Lohan is getting revenge on his ex-fiancee, Erin Muller, the one way he knows how --by releasing an embarrassing audio tape. has obtained the exclusive audio, a recording Lohan made during  a fight with Muller. On the tape you can hear her screaming and cursing at Lohan, who seems to remain pretty calm throughout, possibly because he's taping the whole thing.

At one point, Muller rips into Lohan, screaming, "if you're that pathetic that you need a f***ing tape recorder, because everyone knows the s*** you are." Other highlights include Muller hollering, "I thought you said you were going to f***ing castrate me!" Erin Muller filed court documents in Nassau County, NY on Monday, asking the court to drop Lohan's harassment allegations against her.]

It sounds like Lindsay has the right idea in cutting this guy out of her life. The funny thing in all of this - where nothing is funny - is that this tape only confirms Erin's side of the story, in my opinion. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this guy is an asshole, to the core. 

[Photo Credit: Glenn Francis via Wikipedia. Click on the photo credit link for more info. Click on the Radar Online link to view photos and video of Michael with former girlfriend, Erin.]

Charlie Sheen Clearly Needs To Date Angelina Jolie

charlie-sheen-brooke-mueller-champagne-sheeth.jpgMove over Brad Pitt, Charlie Sheen is in tha house! More details have been released (as you knew they would be) in the awful alleged altercation that occurred between Charlie and his wife Brooke Muller Sheen on Christmas Eve. Bizarrely enough, the new information includes a scuffle over a lullaby. Say what? A summary from E! Online

[Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller's heated holiday argument is not something new to their family and friends. "The tiniest thing will set them off," a source says. "Charlie has a bad temper. It gets scary."

According to a police affidavit, Sheen claims the Christmas Day blowout was sparked when he told Mueller about a song he shares with one of his and ex-wife Denise Richards' two daughters. A source tells us the daughter is the oldest of the two, 5-year-old Sam.

The song apparently has something to do with a Christmas present Sheen bought for Sam. Sheen has told people that Mueller became upset and wanted to know why she and Sheen didn't have a similar song, the source says.

"Charlie says she is really jealous of his daughters, especially after he and Denise finally started getting along," the source says. The source also says Mueller has become increasingly suspicious of Sheen because of his past substance abuse issues and fondness for call girls. "Obviously the fight wasn't just about the song," the source says. "Nothing excuses what Charlie may have done, but there's more there."

The source said many around the couple believe that both of them need help. "They've got to think about those two little boys," the source said, referring to Sheen and Mueller's 9-month-old twin sons, Bob and Max. "But yeah, I think it will end in divorce."]

And the wicked roundup, via What Would Tyler Durden Do

[Charlie Sheen has been arrested so many times it's hard to keep up, but at least 5 times for drug possession, soliciting prostitutes, and credit card fraud. He was not arrested when he shot Kelly Preston in the arm or when he allegedly threatened to kill Denise Richards and their kids or when he maybe killed a hooker.

Three days ago he was arrested again for second-degree assault, menacing and criminal mischief after he choked his wife and now it's being reported he threatened her with a knife. This sucks for her but Charlie Sheen is a violent, drug addicted piece of shit and always has been. Of course he tried to kill her. If I owned a health insurance company, that's one thing I'd look for. Do you smoke, do you drink, and are you married to Charlie Sheen? If you answered yes to any of those, fuck you. What am I, made out of money.]

Sheen has never changed his alleged relationship M.O., so this doesn't exactly come as a surprise. Not that it makes it okay, by a long shot. It seems weird to me that a guy with that kind of track record still keeps landing ladies. A quick Google search would alert even the softest heart that Charlie is not a good bet. One lady who could tame him? The countess of bad-ass, Ms. Angelina Jolie. At least she wouldn't shy away from the knife play or the kids from other wombs

[Photo Credit: Once again, a couple in happier times. We seem to be saying that a lot around here lately...]

Baby Mash

kourtney-baby-dash-l&s-cvr.jpgMason Dash Disick, newborn baby boy of Kourtney Kardashian and (most likely) Scott Disick, has had his first cover shoot. What a looker! Babies are cute. Period. This a fact and not a product of my waning uterus. Anyhoo, I've never heard of a family more enamored with their own name. Not only all are the girls in this clique saddled with abhorrent "K" names for the cumbersome sake of alliteration, the baby must also be lassoed into the clan. Dash, of course, is in reference to Kar-dash-ian - which, conveniently, is also the name of the family's high-end clothing store. Ah, how sweet. At least Kourtney waited until Mason was more than a week old, rather than throwing her babe in front of the hot lights at the tender two-day old mark like her reality pal, Kendra Wilkinson. It's the small things, peeps. Here's a sneak peek into the compelling world of Mason's parents, courtesy of Life & Style

[L&S: Congrats! How does it feel to be parents?

Kourtney: It feels amazing. It's just so indescribable. You don't get how good being a parent feels until it happens to you.

Scott: My first time holding him was definitely special. But holding him the second time was even more special, and the third time was even more special than that. I fall so much more in love with this kid every day. I can't imagine how much more in love with him I'm going to be by the time he's 5 or 10 or 20!

L&S: How was the labor itself?

Kourtney: It was surprisingly easy and just an incredible experience. I always thought your first is supposed to be really hard, but it was easy. I have an amazing doctor. He actually delivered me! The room environment was just so relaxing, and everyone I wanted to be there was there--Scott, my mom, Kim and Khloé. No one under 18 is allowed in, so my little sisters Kendall and Kylie couldn't come in. Actually, you're only allowed to have two people in the room because of the swine flu -- so we snuck Kim and Khloé in!

L&S: What is your daily routine like now?

Kourtney: We're on Mason's schedule, waking up every couple of hours to breast-feed. But it's fun to get up and see him. I miss him by the time I see him again.

L&S: Can you see having another baby in the future?

Kourtney: Right now I'm obsessed with Mason and want to give him all my time. But being with him has definitely made me think about having another one! Kim and I are 18 months apart. Growing up, we did everything together. It would be nice for Mason to have a little brother or sister that many months apart too.]

Will errant boyfriend Scott fall in line now that the baby is here, or is Kourtney in for more heartbreak? I'm sure we'll be privy to every dirty detail...

[Life & Style Cover]

This Is A Telling Title Change

This is the preview for Kevin Smith's next flick and, frankly, it looks rather predictable. Kevin has come a long way from his Clerks days - and I don't know that it's a good thing. Smith has a gift for character-driven comedies and dialogue, but action might not be his bag. Perhaps it's my disappointment in the name change of the film - the flick has been known around town as A Couple Of Dicks for ages. Perhaps it's seeing Bruce Willis as a policeman for the millionth time that's soured my mood. It could be the fact that the drive-in finally died in Tucson, Arizona. A big screen outdoors puts me in a great frame of mind and makes me game to see nearly anything. Would I sit outside under the stars with a bucket of beer and watch Cop Out? In a heartbeat. Would I go out of my way to sit indoors in a theater with overpriced snacks? Not so much. Tracy Morgan, Willis's sidekick in the flick, is a fun addition to the mix - but I think I'll stick with his 30 Rock character. Click here for more details on the movie, via First Showing. 

Hand-Holding Is Usually A Sweet Gesture. In This Instance, Not So Much.

Thumbnail image for tiger-woods-rachel-uchitel-separate-pics.jpgTiger Woods and "head mistress" Rachel Uchitel were spotted holding hands recently at a party in Palm Beach, Florida. When I think of hand-holding, I think of a sweet romance like the (now-defunct) Taylor & Taylor combo of Swift and Lautner. I don't think of an alleged sex addict and the woman willing to chuck every semblance of self-esteem to be with him. That's just me. I, not unlike Tiger, am not alone. Celebitchy, one of my favorite sites, shares my view. Here is the breakdown, courtesy of CB

[Mistress Rachel Uchitel is gunning to be the next Mrs. "look the other way at the sparkly jewelry" Woods. Entertainment Tonight reports that Tiger emerged from his party boat to attend a holiday party on Uchitel's arm. The two were spotted holding hands at a big shindig on Sunday. Instead of going to the press and cashing in with a quick interview, Uchitel got a hefty settlement and is in it for the long haul. She doesn't care that Tiger's mistress list has reached over a dozen, she's the head bitch and she's going to run things from now on. Tiger needed some fake boobs to lean on after the scandal and Uchitel flew right down to provide some synthetic cushioning. She's also selling her condo in Vegas with the help of OK! Magazine so that she can be by Tiger's side full time.

Tiger ultimately did leave his wife for Rachel as he promised in that rambling e-mail. He had to get busted first, but she doesn't care. She's getting paid handsomely for her services. It beats wrangling up celebrities for clubs. Meanwhile Rachel is modeling her bikini on the beach and issuing dumb denials to celebrity outlets. She has cover all her bases in case the Tiger gig runs out sooner rather than later.]

Good for them, I guess. It sounds like they deserve each other. My main concern is that Tiger's estranged wife, Elin Nordegren, gets a hefty settlement and finds love in the arms of someone much more deserving. Preferably someone wildly famous so that her happiness can be flaunted from the front page of tabloids and taunt Tiger for life. 

[Photo Credit]

Christmas Roundup

billy-bob-thornton-as-bad-santa.jpgMy Christmas was fabulous - and I sincerely hope yours was as well! It was difficult for things to go wrong on my end. The maxin' and relaxin' went off without a hitch - easy to do when your sights are set on drinking champagne and playing Scrabble. Of course the holiday wrapped up with our annual viewing of Bad Santa. Absolutely sublime. However, not everyone was as lucky. Here's a quick round-up of celebrities who found their stockings stuffed with coal:

*Police showed up at the home of the Kardashian clan to help contain a fight that broke out at the valet stand. Apparently a neighbor got rowdy and scraped with the family's priest while a Christmas Eve party raged on inside. Those klever Kardashians must have been working overtime for their reality series. Now that's kommitment to the holiday spirit!

*Charlie Sheen and his wife, Brooke Mueller Sheen, also had some extra company in the form of police on Christmas Eve. It's been alleged that Charlie attempted to strangle Brooke while also attacking her with a knife. Though Brooke later recanted her version of the story, Charlie still had a trip to the slammer in store for the holidays. Somewhere Denise Richards (Sheen's former spouse) is saying, "I told you so." 

*In the "broken hearts for the holidays" club we have the split of longtime couple Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon. Apparently the duo of twenty-three years broke up this summer, but just got around to announcing the news this month. Thanks for the smack in the face of true love. What's next - finding out there's no Santa Claus? Meanwhile, Tim must have had a blue Christmas. Susan has already moved on with a 33-year old ping-pong player - seriously. 

*Meanwhile, Brittany Murphy was laid to rest on Christmas Eve at the Forest Lawn Cemetery in Los Angeles. So, that pretty much trumps everything. How brutal it must be to have to bury a loved one on Christmas. My heart goes out to her family and friends. May the saucer-eyed cutie with the ringing laugh and vivacious presence find much peace. 

Let's hope 2010 is a much mellower and happier year. I'll toast to that!

Like A Spider To The Fly...

Thumbnail image for lindsay-lohan-leggings.jpg... Lindsay Lohan has a man trapped in her tangled web. When I say "web" I mean she's drug someone new into her lair of drugs, drama and parents. Yes folks, LaLohan has reentered the dating market. She's been seeing model Adam Senn for a couple of weeks and he's already been introduced to her crazy mom and pop - naturally. Details regarding Adam via Celebitchy

[Lindsay Lohan has a new boyfriend, and he's not anyone's husband or boyfriend. Which is the good news. The bad news is that I suspect the new guy, model Adam Senn, is something of a rent-a-date. He appeared on one episode of The City, and he seems to be a working model, so he's probably looking for the name recognition that goes along with being associated with Lindsay Lohan. Unfortunately, he doesn't realize that the name recognition thing could probably destroy his career. I bet he's aiming for a Samantha Ronson bounce rather than being known as "that guy who bangin' Lindsay when she looked like a crackhead."]

Click here for more information, as well as photos of Adam. Just a hint - he is hot. No one is lying about his modeling credentials! Here are details of the parental introduction from Gatecrasher, via Celebitchy: 

[As the drama heats up yet again for Dina and Michael Lohan, their daughter Lindsay is finding comfort in new beau Adam Senn. Things have gotten even more serious between La Lohan and the Gucci model since LiLo brought Adam to meet her family last Tuesday - the same day that Mr. and Mrs. Lohan went to court in yet another child support battle. Just hours after the hearing - it was reported that Dina is demanding $40,000 in child support, while Michael claimed Sunday that it's only $15,000 - spies say Lindsay showed up at her sister Ali's 16th birthday party at Abe & Arthur's with Senn, whom we reported she was dating on Dec. 10.

And while her, err, doting parents can't agree on much, they both seem to think that Adam is a winner. "Dina really likes him," the source says. "She thinks he is 'good for her.'" Michael wasn't on the guest list for Ali's fete, but he too seemed pleased with Adam when asked about Linds' new man Sunday. "If he's a good guy and he has no addictions, and he's a good influence on her, then God bless him. It's a good thing," he told us.]

Apparently all it takes to be "good" for Lindsay is show up with a pulse. She has her expectations set high -  at least something is set high. Meanwhile, here is another great blind item from the New York Post via Crazy Days & Nights. I'll leave it to your powers of deduction to decide how this item relates! 

[Which male model is regretting he got carried away with a certain starlet? He succumbed to her aggressive seduction, didn't use protection and now worries he may have contracted an STD.]

[Photo Credit: Leggings for everyday of the week? Now that's living!]

Pay-Per Tweet

paris-hilton-kim-k-clubbing.jpgParis Hilton received diamonds for Christmas from her unemployed pet boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt! How does someone who allegedly has no job provide jewelry for an heiress? Good question. First let's delve into details, via Anything Hollywood

[Paris Hilton got diamonds for Christmas. Paris didn't say what type of diamonds, but boyfriend Doug Reinhardt delivered them. Paris must have been a good girl because she got to open her presents early on Christmas Eve. How nice to post on Twitter you got diamonds. Let's invite more burglars in to your home to pick off those pieces! Hello, think before you post!]

And more from Paris herself, via Twitter:

[At home opening Christmas presents from my man. SO happy! He really spoiled me this year and gave me so many incredible presents! :) All the jewelry he bought me from 14 Karats Jewelry Store is so stunning! It's true Diamonds are a girl's best friend. I am speechless.]

I buy that Paris received diamonds for Christmas - what I don't believe is the fact that Doug actually bought them for her. What makes the story suspect, other than the obvious money issue, is the specific mention of the store where the jewelry was supposedly purchased. Methinks Hilton may have received the sparklers in exchange for a little promotion. What adds weight to my theory? Hilton's former pal and current nemesis, Kim Kardashian, is also Tweeting for cash. Details, courtesy of Crazy Days & Nights

[Do you know PRNewser? They are a company that is paid to talk about other companies. Put out press releases and that kind of thing. Anyway, they did a press release for one of their clients,, and they interviewed the co-founder. Well, is known for bringing advertisers and celebrity Twitter posters together. He let it slip in the interview that Kim Kardashian gets $10,000 per Tweet and that she does one ad Tweet a day. Seriously? That many people want to buy what she buys? She does have 2M followers, but $50K a week? For just saying stupid crap like go buy a pair of shoes at such and such a place. So lets see 140 characters times 5 is what? 700 characters a week and she makes more than 90% of teachers do in a year. Why? Because she made a sex tape.
While I admit she is attractive, she has no discernible talent. She doesn't sing or act or do anything that contributes positively to society. She has no athletic prowess. She has not invented anything. Yet, she makes over $2M a year just by posting one Tweet a day. I really need to f**k Ray J.]

It's clear that the route to the big bucks is a sex tape, a nominal education and breasts. Who says women are discriminated against? 

[Photo Credit: Cash machines.]

Just When You Thought It Was Over...

jon-gosselin-and-hailey-glassman-smoking.jpgJon Gosselin is leaving the limelight the same way he entered - oozing slowly, like a well-gelled publicity machine. The latest? His apartment was ransacked during Christmas while Jon was off doing something highly unusual - hanging out with his kids. This is the apartment where the rent happens to be loooong overdue. I hope he has renter's insurance - perhaps he can recoup that Wii money and put it towards his landlord's pocket. Details, courtesy of Celebitchy

[Jon Gosselin's apartment was trashed this holiday right around the time that his now ex girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, was moving out. Items like a television and Wii console were allegedly stolen and clothing and furniture were shredded. There was a note attached to one of the doors with a knife calling Jon a "cheater" and signed by Hailey. Jon of course immediately notified the press of the damage to his place, and the best part of this story is the over-the-top statement from his lawyer about how emotionally damaged and hurt poor "folk hero" Jon is. I think Hailey left Jon a note calling him a cheater and that she possibly attached it to a door with a knife. If she didn't use a knife as a thumb-tack then Jon thoughtfully did it for her. Then Jon got the wise idea to wreck the place and claim Hailey did it, using the note as circumstantial evidence.

The police have already questioned Hailey and her parents. I'm sure investigating the theft and damage of Jon Gosselin's property is at the top of the NYPD's "to-do" list this holiday season.

This week's National Enquirer reports that Jon Gosselin is four months behind on his rent and that he has been secretly pocketing Hailey's share while failing to pay the landlord. This news that the apartment was ransacked seems to come at a convenient time for Jon, who owes Hailey $90,000 plus her half of the rent that he stole. He's also now responsible for $13,000 a month in child support, which he can't afford.]

I'm pretty sure there's a picture of Jon next to the word "class" in the dictionary. Looks like he'd better re-gear his expectations to life as a civilian. Given that he's pissed off former boss TLC, Gosselin will now have to look for a "real job." Perhaps they're hiring at Ed Hardy...

[Photo Credit: Jon and Hailey in happier times when the motto, "The couple that smokes together, stays together" was all they needed.]

Happy Holidays!

Happy holidays, dear readers! I'm wishing you all a very Merry Christmas. However you decide to celebrate, I hope you're surrounded by much love and joy. I deeply appreciate each and everyone of you. It's a blast to do this job and I absolutely couldn't do this without your eyeballs perusing this site. Panty Line Press has big plans for 2010 and I dearly hope you'll be joining me. I wish I could buy each of you a hot buttered rum - but, wherever you may be, I hope you'll raise a glass and know I'm toasting you. Enjoy! I'll be back on Monday, December 28th. Take good care until then... xoxo

[Video courtesy of and Billy Reid. Check out his awesome work by clicking on the link.]

Christmas Has Come A Little Early!

OMG - I am so excited. This is, like, the best gift ever. Here is a sneak peek to the sequel of Sex & The City - I'm totally biased, but I think it looks amazing! I am literally breaking open a bottle of champagne right now. Enjoy!

Angelina Jolie Lets It All Hang Out

Thumbnail image for angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-oscars-2009-wikipedia.jpgDid Angelina Jolie accidentally take some truth serum? Or is she trying to one-up Megan Fox at her own game? Angelina was unusually candid in a recent interview - and it will surely get tongues wagging about the sexy beast. Details, via Crazy Days & Nights

[In a really strange interview, Angelina Jolie told The Mirror that just because a couple is together doesn't mean they have to be faithful to each other. "Neither Brad nor I have ever claimed that living together means to be chained together. We make sure that we never restrict each other. I doubt that fidelity is absolutely essential for a relationship. It's worse to leave your partner and talk badly about him afterwards."

So, to me that sounds like a dig at someone and that her brother maybe still gets some kisses now and then. This is strange. Of course maybe she planned it also for the publicity. Now there will be a million more stories about the couple.
She also says they fight and gives examples of what she would like to do, but then takes it all back. "The sparks fly at home if the nice Brad fails to see that he's wrong and reacts in a defiant way. Then I can get so angry that I tear his shirt."

It sounds to me like this actually happens, but then she says, "We're not violent enough for these things, and we consider our six children."

Did she give this interview the night she was bombed at that party?]

Of course we've got to take this "information" with a grain of salt, given that The Mirror is basically the UK version of The Enquirer. It's wildly entertaining, nonetheless! I do believe that Angie screws Brad senseless - when she feels like it. And I do think she's not above still taking a veiled dig at Jennifer Aniston. As for that rumored threesome between Brad, Angelina and that Victoria's Secret model? Sounds like it might have been a go! Christmas is coming up - how does Jolie plan to top that? Whatever her plans are, I'm sure the master of PR will find a way to leak let us know!

She Gives New Meaning To The Title "Nutcracker"

winehouse-blake-gal-ema07.jpgYuletide, bitches! Amy Winehouse must have been in a festive mood the other night - the troubled singer was arrested on assault charges while taking in a performance at the theater. Yeah, nothing can piss a person off like the theater! Details, via Bitten & Bound

[Amy Winehouse has been charged with assaulting [theater] manager Richard Pound at Milton Keynes Theatre in the UK. The singer attended the Saturday night performance of Cinderella and reportedly shouted out obscenities during the performance, disturbing those sitting around her during the Christmas show. An altercation with the theater manager ensued and police were dispatched.

Pound told police that Winehouse punched and kicked him in the groin, and pulled his hair when he approached her about the disturbance and asked her to move to a private box.   Thames Valley police launched an investigation and subsequently charged Amy with a public order offense and common assault -- her second in recent years.

Winehouse and her attorney appeared at the Buckinghamshire police station voluntarily on Wednesday afternoon and posted bail. The 26-year-old was ordered to appear in court on January 20, 2010 to answer the charges.

The singer's father, Mitch Winehouse, was reportedly livid when he found out about the newest charges. He blamed her bad behavior on her renewed relationship with ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil. He said, "After just one day in Blake's presence, Amy reverted back to her wild ways." The troubled songstress escaped previous assault charges during a two-day court trial less than six months ago.]

Yes, let's blame Blake. There's no way Amy could possibly be responsible for her own actions! Meanwhile, it's comforting to know Amy is wrapping up 2009 much the same way she began it - as a mess. 

[Photo Credit]

I Just Don't Know If I Buy This

Thumbnail image for renee-zellweger-bradley-cooper-seperate-duo-pic.jpgRenee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper - love 'em equally as actors and people. But together? Not so much. They don't seem to have much genuine chemistry -  even they seem bored by this hookup. Renee is a cutie and I don't know why she seems to have trouble finding a lasting relationship. However, sticking with someone for the sake of companionship seems a little too "Bridget Jones," even for her. These two are rumored to be taking the traditional route - everything from meeting the parents over Thanksgiving to looking at pricy real estate. Is a quicky engagement and subsequent baby announcement soon to follow? I don't think so! They were recently spotted together the other day -  here is Celebitchy's take on the outing: 

[There's not really any reason for this story, I was just happy to see Renee Zellwger and her boyfriend Bradley Cooper in the same frame. These photos are from yesterday - Bradley and Renee were leaving a movie theatre and dodging the paparazzi. Of course, Renee is doing most of the dodging, while Bradley looks totally over it. Is it just me, or do these two look like they have zero physical chemistry together? Maybe theirs is an intellectual love affair. Which, you know, isn't the worst thing. I've had intellectual romantic relationships before, and it's nice to have someone who stimulates you intellectually. But it's also nice to get laid. The Bradley-Cooper-is-gay rumors have been going around forever. My favorite variation on them is "Bradley is gay with Victor Garbor." Think about that one for a while... doesn't it seem like Bradley and Garbor would have a lot of physical chemistry together? Anyway, I'm not sure I believe the gay rumors. I think they're a lot more likely for Bradley than Jake Gyllenhaal, but I'm not totally convinced. Sometimes Bradley beeps on my gaydar, sometimes he just seems... I don't know, just like he's a strange bird. But if I'm believing he's gay, I'm totally down with that blind item. I could totally see how Renee could find herself in a sham marriage.]

Click on the CB link here for photos of the paparazzi dodge. Meanwhile, here's the blind item link via Gawker that may or may not refer to Bradley and Renee: 

["Which sometime emaciated Hollywood A-lister is demanding that her people step up her arrangement with her current actor beau so that they get engaged quite soon, to help with publicity for her next movie? While he went along with the contracted relationship quite happily his star is rising fast enough for him to have second thoughts about the next step."]

Hmm, it does ring a few bells. Time will tell... I personally don't understand the faux relationships in exchange for publicity. Shouldn't the acting speak for itself without all the faux pomp and circumstance?

This Does Not Make Me Hungry Or Horny

Here's the video version of Kim Kardashian's Carl's Junior commercial - and, in my opinion, her attempt to sexualize salad is a fail. Kim's gonna have to pick up her game in the increasingly kompetitive Kardashian clan - although I don't know what will be left for her to choose from! Kim K already has a sex tape, Khloe's had the whirlwind wedding and Kourtney just gave birth to her bastard child. What's left on the scandal scale? She's gonna have to get klever...

Stars - They're Just Like The Rest Of Us

Thumbnail image for vf-outtakes-robert-pattinson-and-kristen-stewart.jpgWhat couple doesn't occasionally argue about the holidays? Where to spend them, how to spend them and who to spend them with can be a point of contention in any relationship. Is it my turn to call the shots? Happily 2009 is my turn - and I'm ready to work it for all it's worth. Rumored couple Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson may not be so lucky. In fact, the Twilight cuties may not see each other at all over the holidays - and that's no way to keep a steamy romance rolling! Details, via Showbiz Spy

[Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have come to blows over where to spend Christmas, sources claim. Rob, 23, is keen to spend the festive season with his family in London, while Stewart, 19, wants to spend the holidays in Los Angeles.

"Rob and Kristen can't decide where to spend the holidays," dished one loose-lipped insider. "Kristen is keen for Rob to join her in Los Angeles, but he wants to spend Christmas in London -- with his family. "Rob wants things to be as normal as possible after a crazy 12-months. Kristen is not amused."

It was recently claimed that Pattinson and Stewart had been drifting apart because the hunky British star was refusing to commit to a serious relationship. "Rob doesn't want anything heavy right now, so he really has had enough of the whole thing and is spending a lot more time with Stephanie," a source told Britain's Now magazine earlier this month.

"He just wants to hang out with lesser-known friends and take time out from all the craziness in his life, as it's all got a bit too much. Even for Rob, the attention has been overwhelming and sometimes he just wishes it could all go away. He's become a lot more reclusive and there's a growing distance between him and Kristen."]

I'm sure they mean "come to blows" emotionally. I don't know who this Stephanie chick is that Showbiz Spy is referring to - unless it's Twilight author Stephanie Meyers. Psst, Rob - the books are already written. Kickin' it with the writer will not garner you extra screen time. Alas, these kids should do what myself and my honey intend to - surround ourselves with Christmas lights and booze while watching Bad Santa. It literally solves everything.

[Photo Credit]

Tasty Blind Item

sillyskull.pngOh, how I adore the blind items. Tricky, tantalizing and tasty - and sometimes a total mind bender of frustration. This one however, I think I have nailed. Read on and see if you agree, courtesy of Lainey Gossip

[He wants this so badly, to be taken seriously as an actor. But on the set of his new movie, everyone is baffled. By how terrible he is. Like laughably terrible. The worst timing, the most awkward line reads, cheesy expressions... at this point it's become a fun work-time activity: watch him get through a scene, feel the fontrum for him while he sucks it so hard so obliviously, giggle your tits off later because he walks around thinking he is the sweetest sh-t ever.
There's an ego involved, of course, and he actually thinks he's doing a good job, that he is gifted in this discipline too. Please. He is not gifted. And his lack of gifts in this respect could cost the entire production. The weakest link drags it all down. Which is why people are mystified that the director has not bothered to fix it. Like suggesting more classes, like pushing his coach, like replacing him with someone who can actually do it? None of the above. Word is, he'll make the corrections in post by greatly reducing the role. Unless there's a miracle and suddenly Cate Blanchett comes out of his ass to save the day. Not likely.]

I'm thinking of a little High School Musical action followed by a low-budget indie film in the form of... Zac Efron - in my opinion, which may or may not have anything to do with reality! What is your take on this interesting little tidbit? If you enjoy blind items as much as I do, be sure to check out Crazy Days & Nights as well as The Awful Truth (in addition to Lainey Gossip, of course.) Enjoy!

Dean Must Have Gotten What He Wanted

dean-sheremet-leann-rimes-couple.jpgLeAnn Rimes and Dean Sheremet are on the road to divorce - not that this news comes as any surprise to those keeping track of the country songbird's tumultuous life! LeAnn and Dean had been married for eight years when Rimes decided to begin a torrid affair with Eddie Cibrian. Apparently Dean has found a way around his disappointment, the former couple has come to an "amiable" divorce agreement. Details, via People Magazine

[That was fast. On the same day Deane Sheremet filed for divorce last week from LeAnn Rimes, they agreed to a confidential divorce settlement, Los Angeles court records show.

"The [settlement] shall not be filed in this proceeding due to the parties mutual desire to maintain their respective rights to privacy," the document reads. The settlement presumably divides their cash, property and other valuables.

Both Rimes, 27, and Sheremet, 29, will be legally single after their marital status officially ends on June 19, 2010. Their nearly eight-year marriage crumbled as Rimes began a relationship with actor Eddie Cibrian, who was married at the time to Brandi Glanville. Cibrian and Glanville are also divorcing.]

I think LeAnn is so anxious to move on with Eddie that she would agree to just about anything Dean's little heart desired. If that means the house in the hills and the DVD collection, well so be it! I'm sure we'll be seeing more of LeAnn flaunting Eddie around town soon - she seems mighty proud of her pilfered man.

[Photo Credit: Dean and LeAnn in, uh, happier times.]

Just The Facts, Ma'am

knight-day-poster.jpgHere's an interesting tidbit regarding Tom Cruise. I'm not here to comment - I'm just here to report the facts. Oops, actually it's quite the opposite! Details, via Us Weekly

[Tom Cruise has played a spy in the Mission: Impossible franchise ... and now the actor is being accused of spying in real life. With supporting court documents, TMZ reports that Michael Davis Sapir has sued Cruise plus his attorney Bert Fields and private investigator Anthony Pellicano, claiming the trio conspired to spy on him. Sapir is asking for $5 million.

Cruise and Sapir are old enemies. In 2001, the star sued Sapir for $100 million; Sapir had claimed that he had a video proving his "homosexual relationship" with Cruise. The suit was settled, and both parties acknowledged that the tape did not exist. Now, however, Sapir says that Pellicano illegally wiretapped his phone during the 2001 litigation. Bert Fields tells TMZ that "The allegations are absolute garbage." Cruise's rep did not reply to TMZ's request for comment.]

A curious event of things that make you go hmmm. Is it a case of Tom protesting too much - or a simple instance of trying to protect his ass assets? Meanwhile, Agent Bedhead has revealed the first poster for Cruise's flick with Cameron Diaz - the poorly named Knight & Day. Here's what Agent Bedhead has to say: 

[Here's the teaser poster for the upcoming Tom Cruise/Cameron Diaz action-romantic-comedy film, Knight and Day. So, my question for you is this: "Do you feel teased?" Yeah, me neither.]

Oh the tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive - or something along those lines...

[Movie Poster Credit]


Jennifer Aniston is not up against stiff competition to be the most successful former Friend - but why do people keep insisting on putting her in scenarios that are supposed to elevate her but instead do the complete opposite? I have seen Jennifer act, I swear, but the projects she's been advised to take on lately have been nothing but awkward. Management was a mess and I, a die-hard rom-com fan, didn't even bother with Love Happens. Who is helping this tabloid staple guide her career and why does he/she seem to have it out for Jen? Her next movie to hit theaters sounds like it will be more of the same - bad. Apparently the supposed fling between Aniston and Bounty Hunter costar Gerard Butler is the most interesting thing about the film. Read on, from Lainey Gossip

[You saw the pap shots every day during filming. You heard about the hookup rumours. Now The Bounty Hunter poster has been released. It's like it's bad on purpose, non? Because this can't have been unintentional. No one sucks this hard. Look at this f-ckery. Gerard Butler is officially Grawp. See? Grawp. SPITTLE GRAWP. And next to him, Jennifer Aniston's infant-sized hands. Newborn hands. What? You want to know why this happens? It happens because the only thing the People Magazine-reading MiniVan Majority sees in something like this is her hair. 

Oh but it gets worse. There would have been a script for The Bounty Hunter, right? What's inconceivable is that these two people actually read the script and decided - sure, this is something I want to be associated with. And even worse, a studio agreed to pour money into it.

When will we be done with these movies? When? Also...

And I know it's a matter of taste...
But when he's talking it's like he's eating. And the last thing I find quivering is imagining chewed peas flying at me during conversation. 
This movie looks worse than The Morgans. And Jen is very poorly lit. Almost jowly. Skin like leather. And old. If I'm her people, I kill this film. Bury it. Block it. After the failures of Love Happens and Management, she doesn't need another stink. How poor is she these days that she's obliged to keep saying "yes" to this rubbish?]

If living well is the best revenge (yes, I'm referring to the epic Bermuda Triangle), wouldn't acting well be an even better way to shut-up the critics? Is that on the agenda at all?

LiLo Is Just One Of The Guys

Lindsay-Lohan-Muse-Magazine.jpgClub hopping, partying and allegedly snagging available pussy - it's just another night out on the town for the Hollywood gang. Lindsay Lohan was recently spotted out and about the same night as Leonardo DiCaprio - and, though they weren't hanging out together, it sounds like they were up to the same amount of no good. Read on, courtesy of The Awful Truth

[With all the microscopic media attention mainly on Tiger Woods these days, let's not forget there other public types who like to get their naughty on:

Leonardo DiCaprio, who still looks scrumptious, was hitting up the new L.A. hot spot Voyeur Thursday night. Leo was in major get-it-on mode, looking very single and very ready to mingle. He was wearing his signature baseball cap and chatting it up with a few good-looking girls who seemed thrilled beyond belief the semi stud was slobbering all over them. Fame, ain't it always the perfect seducer?

L.D. was there with... BFF Kevin Connolly, who also seemed on the prowl, per usual, and Kev's Entourage costar Jerry Ferrara, was at the guys' table, too. It was a veritable babe-netting posse! However: Jer must be going strong with Jamie-Lynn Sigler, 'cause he seemed more into a boys' night than the short-skirts multiplying around him like horny flies. But he sure didn't mind the attention of the myriad gals at their table. We're told he kept it "very appropriate," tho. Damn.

At a prime spot in the opposite corner was... Lindsay Lohan (who didn't interact with either of her rumored fictional hookups Leo or Kevin), who was actually surrounded by a gaggle of "friends." Quite the change from when we've see her in the past. Either LiLo has tamed her dramatic ways or people still want to be around life of the party. It's a toss-up. Who knows.

La Lohan looked like a hot mess in a black jacket and short dress with her blonder-than-usual hair down and wild. Our club spy tells us Lindsay's legs "looked like toothpicks." Shocker that Linds may not be healthy. While posted up with her hanger-on gang, L.L. was all smiles having a good time without being out of control. Hmmm, happy or loopy? Let's hope she keeps this sorta-class act up (for her anyways)!

Also at Voyeur, between the two tables was... Ryan Phillippe, who was with a guy friend and a few other ladies. The girls were quite obviously waiting to be reeled in by the two handsome fellas, as these chicks hovered over them, hungry eyes and sashaying hips, included.

"[Ryan] didn't exactly look like he was missing his girlfriend," reports the clubber. His GF in question would be Abbie Cornish. So does this mean there's trouble in paradise for the two? Maybe since Gyllenspoon is no more, he wants to woo Reese back? Psh, hardly.]

I'd love to see LiLo join Leo's famed party-posse - they're both chick magnets who love a champagne fueled night out. What do you say, Leo? How about opening up the ranks?

[Photo Credit]

I Will Be Seeing This, Despite The Presence Of Gwyneth Paltrow

Above is the preview for Iron Man 2 and, as predicted, the sequel appears to be on steroids. The super-pumped up action and over-the-top characters will be the draw - and not even Gwyneth Paltrow's sucky presence will be able to stop this steamroller blockbuster. Although, if there's an Oscar category for "Least Sexy Kissing of a Superhero Helmet" then Paltrow is a total shoe-in. 

Rest In Peace, Brittany Murphy

brittany-murphy-main-wikipedia.jpgI'm very sad to report that Brittany Murphy passed away yesterday from a cardiac arrest. Details, via Bitten & Bound

[Actress and singer Brittany Murphy passed away suddenly this morning at the age of 32.  Reports indicate that she died of cardiac arrest. At 8 a.m. this morning, a 911 call was placed from the Los Angeles home of the actress after Murphy's mother found her unconscious in the shower. She reportedly told paramedics that her daughter had a history of diabetes.  They found her in full cardiac arrest when they arrived at the scene.

After unsuccessful attempts to revive Murphy, she was pronounced dead at 10:04 a.m., upon arrival at Cedar-Sinai Medical Center. According to the L.A. County Coroner, a death investigation will be launched, including an autopsy, despite strong objections by the deceased woman's husband.  

Murphy married British screenwriter Simon Monjack in 2007 -- the couple had no children.    Her rep released a brief statement from Murphy's family: "In this time of sadness, the family thanks you for your love and support.  It is their wish that you respect their privacy."

Past boyfriend Ashton Kutcher wrote this message on his Twitter account today: "See you on the other side kid...2 day the world lost a little piece of sunshine.  My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany's family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon."

Murphy's estranged father, Angelo Bertolotti, told the AP, "She was just an absolute doll since she was born...Her personality was always outward.  Everybody loved her very much."  The former mob member served prison time on federal drug charges and hasn't seen his daughter in several years, according to US magazine.]

The actress had experienced her fair share of troubles in the past years, most recently getting kicked off a film for alleged bad behavior. Many assumed that her husband, Simon Monjack, contributed to her bad luck by allegedly being an unsavory influence on Brittany. Despite strenuous objects from her shady hubby, an autopsy is supposedly already underway. Brittany was always a bubbly presence and I'd hoped she's be able to make a comeback - but now we can only hope she's in a more peaceful place.

[Photo Credit]

Why Am I Not Surprised?

Thumbnail image for kardashian-sisters-in-lingerie.jpgA little rumor is brewing that Scott "Douchebag" Disick may not be the father of Kourtney Kardashian's son, Mason Dash Disick. As you may remember - or you may entirely not care - Scott and Kourtney were broken up for a spell and a baby came soon after their reunion. Now another man is claiming that he could be the proud poppa of Mason - who may have been conceived during her "break" from Scott. Whether it's manufactured drama or a jealous man horning in on all the fun, it's got to be a total dream for the E! channel! Details, via Snarkerati

[Scott Disick may have gotten back together with Kourtney Kardashian after she got knocked up, but sources are saying that he may not be the father of her new bundle of joy. Say what?

The couple broke up, but then got back together when she found out that she was pregnant. Now, there's a third party involved, Premo Stallone, who says that he could be the father.

A Kardashian pal says that Kourtney hooked up with Premo twice while she was apart from Scott. Now we know that she definitely has a type: Douche. When he was asked of the possibility of being the baby daddy, Premo said, "You could say that, yeah."]

Oooh la la, drama for the mamma! Way to ensure a pay-raise for the Kardashian clan. And to think Kim used to be the most popular one. Move aside, the sisters are coming... That sounds a lot dirtier than I actually intended, for once! 

[Photo Credit]

Hot, Hot, Hot!

This will be the barometer by which to measure whether or not Kristen Stewart can act. She and Dakota Fanning will be starring in the biopic about the amazing all-girl group from the seventies, The Runaways. Stewart will be playing Joan Jett and Fanning will portray lead singer Cherie Currie. I wasn't sure if Kristen would be able to pull this off (Dakota has always been a shoe-in), but seeing this small snippet of the trailer has gotten me pretty excited about the flick. I think this movie might be pretty damn cool. If they can capture even half of the energy the real band had, they'll have a hit on their hands!


Thumbnail image for jude-law-baby-hello-mag-cvr.jpg

Do you remember that little nugget about Beyonce's dad getting slapped with a paternity suit? That means he allegedly fathered a child with a women who was not his wife of twenty-nine years, for those of you who haven't yet had coffee. This information dropped months ago - and was buried rather quickly. Well guess what news broke yesterday? Tina Knowles (Beyonce's mamma) has filed for divorce from Matthew Knowles. Though they claim the paternity issue has nothing to do with it, it's difficult to believe that it wouldn't play some kind of factor. Details, via Us Weekly

[Following Friday morning's report that Tina Knowles filed for divorce from Mathew Knowles in November, a source close to the showbiz family confirms to, "It's true." The parents to Beyonce and Solange Knowles have been married for 29 years. Court papers also confirm the divorce filing took place in Houston, Tex. on Nov. 11.

"It's a rough time for the family -- especially over the holidays," the source tells Us. "The kids are sad, but it's been unraveling for some time." And while infidelity reports have circulated, the pal clarifies that the divorce "really wasn't about affairs." Instead, Tina, 55, and Mathew, 58, simply "drifted apart" and led "busy, separate lives." (Mathew manages his daughters' music careers, while Tina heads up the House of Dereon fashion line with Beyonce.) "They will try to make it cordial. They put their kids first, and will still be around each other." The estranged couple also have a grandchild: Solange, 23, has a four-year old son, Daniel.] 

Meanwhile Jude Law chats about his three children, forgetting that he has a fourth. Oh yeah, that's because he barely knows the fourth child's mother and most likely doesn't give a shit about either one of them. More deets, via Us Weekly

[Oopsies! Jude Law lost track of how many children he's fathered during a Thursday appearance on Late Show With David Letterman. The actor, 36, has three children with ex-wife Sadie Frost, and became a Dad for the fourth time this September, when his ex-girlfriend Samantha Burke gave birth to their daughter, Sophia.

But little Sophia didn't cross his mind while chatting Thursday about his holiday plans. "I usually try to take the children on a bit of an adventure," Law told Letterman of his traditions. (This year, he says they're relaxing on a beach.) When the late-night comedian followed up to ask "how many kids?" Law replies "three," and fails to correct himself.

When Burke, a 24 year-old aspiring actress, announced her pregnancy in July, Law initially disputed the paternity claims. The Oscar-nominated star soon came around, and his rep released a statement confirming that he was the father, and that he intended "to be a fully supportive part of the child's life."]

Aw - the irony that Jude flubbed his kiddie count on Letterman's show - and Dave didn't correct him! It's been reported that Jude still has not seen daughter Sophia since her birth in September. And it appears the little tyke won't be receiving any gifts from her poppa for Christmas! Poor kid - it's not her fault Jude was hopped up on cold medicine (Jude and Samantha allegedly hooked up while he was recovering from a cold in NYC). It seems Samantha was delusional enough to believe that Law would flee to her side when discovering she was to bear his child. Guess who's surprised? No one but her...

[Hello! Magazine Cover]

The Lads Are Lining Up

Thumbnail image for jon_and_kate_announcement.jpg

Just in time for Christmas... Kate and Jon Gosselins divorce is final! Yesterday officially marked the end of their ten-year union. Now will begin a new, hopefully much quieter chapter, for the once arbiters for all things family on reality television. Details, via Us Weekly:

[Jon and Kate Gosselin's ten-year marriage is now history.

TMZ reports that Judge Arthur Tilson has signed the final divorce papers, severing marital ties between Jon, 32, and, Kate, 34.

On Wednesday an arbitrator ruled how the former spouses would divide their real estate and other assets. While most of those details remain confidential, Kate's attorney confirmed that the former reality mom "will continue to reside with all eight of her children in the former marital home" in Wernersville, Penn. Kate noted, "I am very relieved that our divorce has been finalized, and I look forward to the New Year, focusing on our children" and "restructuring our lives."

It won't be Jon's last time in court, however. Last Thursday Dec. 10, Jon was ordered by a Maryland judge to stop making media appearances. TLC claims the reality dad had been violating a contract with the network.

TLC aired the final episode of Jon and Kate Plus Eight Nov. 23.  Kate admitted to the cameras that her new life as a single mom was a struggle. "Don't kid yourself," she said. "When I'm driving to get school supplies with the kids or try on shoes . . . it always crosses my mind that I should be in the passenger seat and Jon should be driving. Every single time."] 

I expect George Clooney to overthrow Elisabeta Canalis anyday now. Clearly a more available hot lady is now on the market. I'm talking about Jon, of course.

[Photo Credit]

Kevin Jonas Receives The Best Christmas Gift

Thumbnail image for kevin-jonas-danielle-deleasa-engaged.jpgKevin Jonas, of the phenomenally annoying Jonas Brothers, is getting hitched this weekend to his longtime girlfriend Danielle. Exchanging his purity ring for a wedding band can only mean one thing - KJo is getting laid! Oh yes, his ultimate Christmas gift is in a box that will be opened again and again. Details, via Perez Hilton. Err, wedding details, that is: 

[It's a big weekend for the Jonas family! It has been confirmed that Kevin Jonas will be getting married this weekend! He and his fiancee Danielle will be saying their vows in front of their family and friends at a private estate on Long Island. Sources says that the rehearsal will be held on Friday, with the wedding the following morning. The same source confirms that one of the honored guests will be none other that Joe Jonas' rumored new GF Demi Lovato.]

What kind of person gets married right before Christmas? Way to usurp the joy and attention for yourself. Well, you've got to do something to stand out in the Jonas clan! While Kevin and Danielle are unwrapping each other's bows, I'll be doing my very best to drown that image from my brain - permanently. Happy Holidays!

Jessica Simpson & Tiger Woods? Ah, Hells No!

jessica-simpson-tiger-woods-star-mag-cvr.jpgStar Magazine found a juicy little item in their archives - a photo of Tiger Woods with his arm around Jessica Simpson. And when I say "arm around" I mean his hand creeping near her breast. Star ran with the item, claiming that Jess may have been one of Tiger's flings. Really what they meant was that he flirted with her - which sounds mildly in-bounds for Woods. Details, via Star Magazine

[Following Star's bombshell that Tiger Woods was cheating on his wife with NYC event planner Rachel Uchitel, more than a dozen other women -- including cocktail waitresses, models and escorts -- have been linked to the superstar golfer. Now a celebrity has been added into the mix: None other than Jessica Simpson!

In the Dec. 28 issue of Star, we reveal that there was an A-list name in Tiger's little black book. Just days before Jessica's split with Tony Romo, she had a sizzling meeting with the fallen golf star at the AT&T National Pro-Am golf tournament in Bethesda, Md. "Tiger liked what he saw and let her know it," a source tells Star.

Since Jess had been fighting with Tony -- who was Tiger's golf partner at the July tournament -- she gave as good as she got. "Jessica said that she felt like Tony wasn't paying attention to her, so she was like, 'What the heck!' " says the source. "She decided to have fun with Tiger whether it bothered Tony or not." Phone numbers were exchanged -- email addresses too.]

It sounds fairly innocuous - and plausible. Jessica and Tony's romance was rocky at best - I could see her trying to make Romo jealous, in an innocent fashion. Simpson doesn't agree. In fact, she's suing Star Magazine! Details, via Crazy Days & Nights

[This week Star Magazine has a picture of Jessica Simpson and Tiger Woods posing for a photo together. According to Star, it was much more than just a photo and that the pair were an item so to speak. Well, Jessica was so upset about being romantically linked to Tiger that she is apparently taking legal action against the magazine. According to E!, Jessica's lawyer has already sent a letter to Star asking them to retract the story.
Star used a lot of innuendo and double talk, but the actual words they used just said Tiger flirted with her. I can believe that. The actual quote was "Tiger liked what he saw and let her know it."
I'm guessing Tiger could have easily done something like that.]

Though a mild flirtation could have easily taken place, I could see why Jessica wouldn't want to be associated with a cadre of whores. Especially when Tiger didn't make a hole in one, in this case!

[Star Magazine Cover]

They're Breaking Up! They're Having Baby Number Seven!

brad-pitt-angelina-jolie-baby-joy-life-&-style-cvr.jpgTake your pick - it's a choose your own adventure! (Everything from an attempted suicide to caving into helping Jennifer Aniston adopt a baby from Mexico.) Not a day goes by without some news, however trivial, about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The preceding weeks (months, years) have been rife with rumors of an inevitable split. Now comes the news that they actually might be trying for baby number seven. The proof will be in the pudding on that one! Details, via Life & Style

[Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie aren't big on PDAs. So when Angie playfully grabbed at Brad's tux jacket, gazed at him lovingly and ran her fingers through his hair -- all while he planted soft kisses on her head -- everyone at the star-studded UNICEF ball knew something was up. In fact, what onlookers were witnessing on Dec. 10 in LA was the happiness of a couple trying for baby No. 7.

"Angelina decided about four months ago that she really wanted to try to get pregnant again," an insider reveals to Life & Style. "She basically told Brad that if it happens, it happens and that she wasn't going to concern herself with birth control. Angie's most at peace when a baby is coming." Just two months ago, Angie freely admitted to the British magazine Stylist her desire to expand the diverse Jolie-Pitt clan. "I can see further additions to the family -- both adopted and our own," she said.]

Of course, there's the other side of the story which includes the theory that baby seven is a trap in which to ensure that Brad Pitt sticks around. Like six couldn't do the job? I think we'll always have conflicting reports about these two - which is probably just the way they like it!

[Life & Style Magazine Cover]

And I Thought "Panty Line Press" Might Create A Few Problems

Thumbnail image for megan-fox-bw-panty-shot.jpgWhen I first started this website (almost a year ago!) I chose the name Panty Line Press, derived from my Ego Zine project circa the late nineties. I thought it was catchy and memorable - it's certainly helped with my traffic! A lot of folks land on this site while looking for panty lines of celebrities, naturally. My favorite story regarding PLP is when my aunt (who is an elementary school teacher - she's brave!) told her coworkers that her niece had launched a website called (link NSFW). Imagine their surprise when they assumed my aunt had a racy relative in charge of a site where women sniff their own panties! Who knew the word "press" would become so important in my life? It turns out my little snafu is relatively mild. Check out this list of worst URLs for a good laugh:

[1. A site called 'Who Represents' where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name... wait for it... is

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at

5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator company...

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:

7. If you're looking for computer software, there's always

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is

9. Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at]

[Photo Credit: And a little treat for peeps stopping by for a panty peek from our favorite mouthy babe, Megan Fox.]

Billy Corgan Sounds Like A Real Prize

billy-corgan-with-lighted-cross.jpgJessica Simpson is in hard-core rebound mode. It's obvious to me, it's obvious to you, it's obvious to a three-year old - everyone but Jess is in on the news. It's clear that she still pines for Tony Romo - though why she'd miss a douchebag that left her at an IHOP remains a mystery to me. At any rate, she showed her true feelings when she nearly had a near heart-attack upon learning that Romo's current gal, Candace Crawford, is sporting a ring. She can nuzzle all the bald Billy Corgan she wants, nothing is going to take away that sting! Apparently Billy doesn't exactly have plans to be to balm to soothe her pain. If anything it sounds like he's next up to try and break Simpson's already shattered heart. Are you surprised? Details, via In Touch

[Jessica Simpson has always seemed a bit misguided when it comes to love. So when she was spotted walking out of The Ritz-Carlton in New York on December 4 with 42-year-old Smashing Pumpkins singer Billy Corgan, the world responded with a bemused "WTF?" His ex-girlfriend, reality star Tila Tequila, agrees they make an odd couple. "I think Jessica Simpson is a waste of space," Tila tells In Touch. "She can't even put two and two together. She doesn't show any female empowerment. She gets screwed over by her ex-boyfriends because she's all clingy. She should stop being so weak and stand up for herself. If Billy is happy with Jessica, then I'm happy for him -- but I think he can do a lot better." But Billy's pal believes he may be using Jessica to promote his new Smashing Pumpkins album. Says the pal, "He is dying for the attention, and that's probably why he's hanging out with her."]

If Jessica can't put two and two together, what can't Tila Tequila do? In fact everything that Tila just said about Jessica? Completely ironic. She must have been looking in the mirror at the time. Once again, it seems Pimpin' Poppa Joe Simpson (Jessica's daddy and manager) has set Jess up with someone of questionable motives - and she's just along for the ride. As for Billy's alleged promotional plan? Squiring a "star" around town does not ensure record sales - but a sex tape does! 

Tiger Is Giving It Away

tiger-woods-flexing.jpgAs you know, Tiger Woods is rumored to have given "mistress #1" Rachel Uchitel between $1 to $3 million for her silence. Now pit-bull lawyer Gloria Allred is said to be negotiating the same for another mistress, Theresa Roberts. What is the point of giving away all that money at this juncture? We already know Tiger is a total freaky-deek - what information could any of those "ladies" possess that could be any more damaging than has already been revealed? He seems more than eager to continue paying for his booty calls! Meanwhile it has now been announced officially that Elin Nordegren is filing for divorce from Woods and heading for Sweden, taking the kids in tow. I would sure as hell hope so! 

Hang In There, Bean!

goth-frances-bean-cobain.jpgWe all knew this day would come - and, because it's Courtney Love, the drama is playing out in public. As you know, Frances Bean Cobain has asked to live with her paternal grandmother - and that just ain't sitting right with Love. Naturally the only way for Courtney to vent her frustration with Frances's change of heart is by bashing her on Facebook - the way only a crazy bitch mother could. Details, via Us Weekly

[Courtney Love has lashed out at daughter Frances Bean Cobain after the 17-year-old girl was placed under temporary guardianship of her paternal grandmother and Kurt Cobain's sister. (No reason was given for the guardianship.)

"I hate to sound cold but any kid of mine who pulls this s**t has lost her position..." Love, 45, rants on her Facebook page. "She was deceptive, she lied and she's lying to herself... My daughter is not always honest." Love also says her daughter isn't as rich as she thinks she is, adding that she is "clearly deluded" if she thinks she can buy her grandmother a "small house in L.A." Says Love, "I'd love to see how that works ... She thinks she has all this money. The point is, I have all the money she has."

Love insists her daughter "is a wonderful kid," but she has "bad people around her and wants it both ways." She then names several of Kurt Cobain's family members. She even tells her daughter that her grandmother "killed your father," Kurt Cobain. "You could've asked for emancipation..." Love tells her daughter. "You realize this will put you in juvenile family circus three times in your little life?" Before signing off, Love tells her daughter, "I love you and always will unconditionally."

UPDATE: TMZ reports that a judge has issued a temporary restraining order against Love -- prohibiting the singer from having any direct or indirect contact with her daughter. A hearing will take place January 5 to determine whether the order should be made permanent.]

As I've said before, I'm surprised it took this long! I know a lot of people who were acquainted with Courtney back in her Portland days - and not one person had a positive thing to say about her. We were all taking bets on when The Bean would become disenchanted with her mom - I guess will have to donate the money to charity because not one of us believed that she would be able to stick around as long as she has!

[Photo Credit]

J. Lo Is An ATM

j-lo-for-allure.jpgJennifer Lopez views herself as cash machine - and, if we're talking about her less famous ex-husbands, I believe it. She recently let loose with a quote that slammed some of her former lovers and it's left me wondering who she was taking aim at. Details, from Allure magazine via PopEater

[Both Diddy and Ben Affleck once called Jennifer Lopez their girlfriend. And the 'Jenny From the Block' singer -- who is now married to Marc Anthony -- has something to say about her past relationships. "It's a business. Once they stop making money off of you they stop coming around."]

I'll I can say is if Ben Affleck was making money off of Jennifer, it must not have been enough. That dude looked painfully miserable during their entire relationship. 

[Photo Credit: J. "Show Me The Money" Lo for Allure by Michael Thompson.]

Hit The Ground Running

Kendra-Wilkinson-Baby-Photo-ok-mag-cvr.jpgKendra Wilkinson gave birth last Friday - and had her son on the cover of a magazine mere days later. Good job, Kendra - that kid really needs to start earning a living! Here are a few details, via cash-cow Ok! Magazine

[World, meet Hank Randall Baskett IV -- newborn son of Kendra Wilkinson Baskett, 24, and her husband, Hank, 27, a wide receiver for the Indianapolis Colts. After initially planning a natural childbirth, the former Playboy model delivered the couple's first child by C-section at 12:37 a.m. on Dec. 11, 2009, in Carmel, Ind. "I was just in heaven," the star of E!'s Kendra tells OK!. Echoes Hank, "It was awesome."

Congratulations! How are you feeling?
Kendra: Thanks. I have labor brain. I forgot everything that happened!
Hank: I am in straight awe, trust me.

How did you prepare for coming to the hospital?
Kendra: The good thing about being induced is that it's like planning a trip, just very calm. We ate a huge dinner before we came to the hospital. I ate a whole batch of brownies because I was nervous. No wonder he's 9 pounds!]

Well, this answers my question in who was going to win the cover story race between Kendra and Kourtney Kardashian. I'm sure Kourtney is getting styled as we speak for her own cover shoot. As for the baby salaries, I'm sure it will be revealed soon which family earned more. Neither of these ladies is particularly picking about withholding details!

[Ok! Magazine Cover]

Dear Hugh, I Take It Back

hugh-grant-suave.jpgI recently called Hugh Grant a dirty old man. Today I learned that Hugh buys expensive art while drunk. Today shall also be the day that I recant my opinion of Grant - he actually sounds like my kind of guy! Details, via The Daily Mail

[Hugh Grant has confessed he was drunk when he  bought a painting of Elizabeth Taylor that later made him an £11million profit. The actor was lauded as an art connoisseur when he bought the work by Andy Warhol for £2million. And he was praised as a master of timing when he sold it six years later for £13million.

But the star has now admitted that his windfall had little to do with an eye for art. Grant, 49, had been on a two-day drinking spree when he ordered an assistant to bid for the painting at an auction in New York. He said: 'And to my horror, she did, and even worse, got it.' He added: 'It all began with drink. I'd been having a drunken dinner with my father the night before, and I said, "We ought to go see my brother Jamie. You know, the Concorde's amazing." 'And he said, "I hear it is.'' So I bought him a Concorde ticket and we went. We had lunch, drank a lot of beer. And I was thinking about some stuff in the Sotheby's auction and I saw the Liz Taylor. I slightly regret selling it now, even though it made me rich.' The top price paid for any of the pictures before Grant made his profit was £7.7million in 2005.

The actor admitted not all of his drunken gestures were as well rewarded. Far from enjoying the supersonic trip to New York, his father was unimpressed. Grant said: 'Halfway across the Atlantic, he's saying, "Well, it's all very nice, but frankly I prefer Air Kuwait" - his usual way of getting to New York.']

Hugh, I know we've gotten off to a rocky start - but I think we can make this work. A two-day drinking spree while buying fine art - well, let's just say those are two of my favorite things. Add bacon and that's my perfect day. Oh, and it if helps things, I'd like you to know that I'd never ever complain about flying first class.

[Photo Credit]

Kate Hudson Hasn't Learned From Her Mistakes

Thumbnail image for kate-hudson-arod-kissing.jpgThe rumor that Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod) have split up seems to be true. No denials have been issued from either camp - and, if anything, it appears A-Rod has sent his boys running to the tabloids to spill a little dirt on Kate post breakup. Details, via Us Weekly

[A movie star is always a movie star -- even when she's at Yankee Stadium, cheering on her boyfriend at the World Series. In the wake of Monday's announcement that Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez have ended their six-month relationship, a Rodriguez source tells Us that the actress' less-than-subtle presence at Yankee games was "a turnoff" to Rodriguez.

"[Hudson] wanted more camera time each and every game," the pal tells "She would always want to be styled before games and she'd insist on front-row seats." Her motivation, the friend says, was more of a PR move than genuine devotion. "It was a turnoff to have a girlfriend who always wanted to be on camera," the source quips. "Alex wanted someone who was more interested in building a long-term relationship than just building their profile."

For those confused by the timeline of the couple's split and who initiated what, the A-Rod friend insists that "he broke up with her over a week ago," but they continued to spend time together publicly after the fact. "Alex wanted to end this relationship well over a month ago," the source says, but the baseball star, 34, didn't want to disrupt Hudson's premieres and promotional events for her new film Nine. "He felt that would be counterproductive and unfair to her."

And while many reports claim that a jealous Rodriguez "smothered" Hudson, 30, the friend suggests the opposite was the case, observing, "She seemed compelled to track and follow his every move" during his busy pre- and post-season schedule.

Ultimately, the pal says that Hudson tried to give Rodriguez "an ultimatum" and to "fast track" the relationship. "He's just coming off of a 13-year relationship with his ex-wife and a recent divorce," the friend points out. "He has two lovely children with his ex-wife, and that requires a certain amount of responsibility. She gave him ultimatums that a newly divorced father can't meet."

The friend says that things ended amicably -- and maturely. "They're two mature adults. She did take the relationship seriously, and he has a lot of respect for her. They had some really wonderful times together."]

I can't tell which lessons Kate is having difficulty learning - how not to smother a man, how to enjoy being on her own or how to stop dating athletes with gigantic egos. Did time in the saddle with Lance Armstrong teach her nothing? Meanwhile Kate's hot film, Nine, debuts on Christmas Day. Don't do her any favors A-Rod, I think the movie will do just fine - whether or not you're on the red carpet with Hudson.

[Photo Credit]

Now You Too Can Own A Piece Of Lindsay Lohan!

lindsay-dina-and-ali-lohan-together-photo.jpegDina Lohan has always seemed eager to sell off her eldest daughter, Lindsay Lohan, to the highest bidder - and now there's website to make the process all the easier! Here's the perfect place to shop for those Christmas gifts - order now! Details, via Celebitchy

[Lindsay Lohan's mom has started a website called "Lohan House" as an easily mocked way to sell the family's castoffs online, many at a hefty price. It looks like the Lohans are hurting after those reality show checks dried up. Along with selling old clothing, shoes and purses, has a "news" section that is both undated and out of date. The site makes references to the Lohan's reality show on E!, "Living Lohan," as if it's still going on despite the fact that it ended over a year ago. Dina even claimed this summer that the show ended because E! wanted her to fake a pregnancy.

In "Lohan House" the Lohans are still relevant, Lindsay is still getting work and "Living Lohan" is still on the air. Coupled with their unwanted luxury goods, the dubious Lohan "news" is enough to make you feel a tinge sorry for the youngest Lohans: Ali, 15, and Cody, 13. (There's also Michael Lohan, Jr., 21, a student at Ithaca College who Jezebel calls "refreshingly normal" and Lindsay of course. Anyone that's no longer a teenager can fend for themselves in that family, and they obviously do.)]

Next up, personal appearances at your own home or holiday party by Lindsay herself! Bid on a package deal - some come with gowns and allegedly stolen jewelry

[Photo Credit]

Feel My Pain

Video mildly NSFW, due to some language (they talk about dicks!) and a formulaic sex scene.

You know I love you, so I had to share. I actually watched Paris Hilton's Pledge This - in it's entirety, on purpose. Do you remember the hoopla surrounding the flick? No one will blame you if you don't! Paris Hilton was hit with a lawsuit for not properly promoting the movie - and I finally decided to see what the fuss was all about. Needless to say, it was nastier than Hilton's weaves. It was a painful hour plus, but copious amounts of wine helped. Taking a hit for the team, that's what I do! Shit, I should collect her paycheck - I just did more promotion for the film than Paris!

Holy Hell - What Is Going On With Her Hands?

tara-reid-playboy.jpgI know I posted this pic of Tara Reid on the cover of Playboy Magazine yesterday - but I had to dredged it up again because I just noticed her enormous paws! I feel like I'm a Seinfeld episode - the one where Jerry dates the woman with the man hands. If Tara had a penis, she'd be a hot ticket on the dating market. I was absolutely compelled to point this out to y'all... I apologize in advance for any subsequent nightmares!

Shacking Up - Part Two

sienna-feeds-jude-law.jpgJude Law and Sienna Miller have not only reignited their romance - rumor has it the couple is possibly looking to live together... again! Why not make the same mistake twice? Failure can be fun! Details, via Hollyscoop

[Sienna Miller and Jude Law can't fool anybody. While they deny they've been seeing each other, several eyewitnesses have spotted them on dates around New York City. And now we hear the on-again couple is considering moving in together! According to The Sun, Jude and Sienna have told friends they want to move into a house in London this spring.

A source said: "Last week they put the wheels in motion to live together again. They have told staff that they are in love and will be moving back to London in the spring and they will be living together as a couple once again." The insider says Sienna has been the facilitator of them getting back together. "Jude was reluctant at first for anything to happen," says the source. "But Sienna convinced him that she was still in love with him."

This has to be the worst idea we've heard in a while. Both Sienna and Jude can't hold down a relationship for more than a few months. And the whole reason they broke up was because of his cheating! We hope one of them snaps out of it.]

I hope they don't snap out of it - think of all the stories to come if they stick together!

[Photo Credit: She's got him eating out of her hand - literally!]

What's New In Hollywood? Oh, Yeah - Nothing.

Do people pitch new ideas anymore? Or is everyone funneling money into sure things? Sure, there are unique movies coming down the pike, but "remake" (or sequels) is usually the name of the game. Here's the latest addition - The Crazies. Though it's a redux, it's got two saving graces - Timothy Olyphant and zombies! Plot details, courtesy of First Showing

[Overture Films has debuted a second new trailer for The Crazies remake (via Yahoo) that stars Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Joe Anderson, Danielle Panabaker, and a town full of crazy people. The story revolves around the inhabitants of a small Iowa town who are suddenly beset by death and insanity after a plane crash lets loose a mysterious secret biological weapon into the water supply. The Crazies is directed by Breck Eisner, of Thoughtcrimes and Sahara previously. The screenplay was written by Scott Kosar (The Machinist, The Amityville Horror) and Ray Wright (Pulse, Case 39). This is a remake of George Romero's 1973 film of the same name. Overture Films will be bringing it to theaters on February 26th, 2010.]

Will director Breck Eisner (Michael Eisner's son) be able to live up to George Romero's awesome legacy? All I know is that I'll follow Timothy Olyphant anywhere - the zombies are a bonus! 

They Deserve Each Other

tiger-woods-rachel-uchitel-separate-pics.jpgRachel Uchitel and Tiger Woods may still be having an affair - and frankly it doesn't surprise me one bit. Rumor has it that Rachel was sniffing around Tiger's luxury yacht this weekend - whether bidden or spying remains unclear. It's been alleged that Uchitel received millions from Woods in exchange for her silence. Will her "loyalty" bring the ultimate payout in the form of becoming the second Mrs. Woods? Details, via Fox News (it depresses me just typing that): 

[Tiger Woods and the woman whose rumored affair with him launched the golf great's astonishing fall from grace may have been just a few miles apart this weekend, has learned. Rachel Uchitel, the first woman romantically linked to Tiger Woods, told friends she had booked a plane ticket for last Friday from New York to West Palm Beach, just seven-and-a-half miles from the North Palm Beach marina where Woods' yacht "Privacy" was docked over the weekend, and about 20 miles from his Jupiter Island home, has learned.

On Friday, five moving boxes were seen being moved from Tiger and wife Elin's main residence in the Orlando suburb of Windermere, TMZ reported. On Saturday, Elin was photographed pumping gas into her car outside Orlando. Her wedding ring was noticeably missing.

On Sunday, Woods' private plane departed for Elin's home country of Sweden, but Elin and Tiger Woods were reportedly not onboard when it landed.

News of Woods' and Uchitel's close proximity over the weekend came as mutual friends told that the two are still very much in love and still very much an item, and they have no plans on ending their relationship anytime soon. Uchitel has publicly denied having an affair with Woods, but friends said he has paid her millions of dollars to remain tight-lipped about the details of their affair, and that the two remain committed to one another.

"Tiger and Rachel are still very much in love," an insider said. "They are still in communication and they're just trying to figure out how to make it work so they can be together." Uchitel's rep was not immediately available for comment.

In announcing on Friday that he was taking an "indefinite break from professional golf," Woods acknowledged being unfaithful to his wife and said he would devote the foreseeable future to repairing their relationship, if possible, and to "focus my attention on being a better husband, father and person."

According to the terms of Tiger and Elin Woods' prenuptial agreement, payments are graduated; if Elin stays in their marriage for another two years, she'll receive an additional $20 million. "It looks like Elin's going to stay around, at least for now. But Tiger still loves Rachel and wants to be with her either way," the friend said. ] 

Did Tiger and Elin pull the old bait and switch? Were they hoping the paparazzi would follow an empty jet to Sweden? Because that would be hilarious. At least a lot of spouses would be receiving some kick-ass chocolate for Christmas. Meanwhile, I do believe the whispers that Rachel and Tiger are still involved. Tiger won't be changing his stripes anytime soon! Not like you haven't heard that one before. Here's another gem, via my friend Julia: "What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stopped at three ho's." Oh yes, the jokes - just like Woods - won't be stopping anytime soon...

[Photo Credit]

Suri Cruise Rules The Animal Kingdom Too!

suricruise.jpgWhat daddy's little princess wants, daddy's little princess gets! Suri Cruise got taken to the zoo the other day, in Spain no less, and she had it all to herself. Naturally. Details, via Perez Hilton:

[Cruise is currently in Spain filming for Knight and Day with Cameron Diaz. And Katie Holmes and Suri are currently spending some time with him while he works. But on Wednesday morning, the couple took Suri to the Guillena Mundo Park Zoo just outside of Seville. And unfortunately for any tourists in the area, the zoo was closed to the public and opened just for Suri and her parents. SERIOUSLY?!? The trio spent some time watching the ponies and small animals. Zoo director, Carlos Llandrés, told reporters that Suri "loved stroking a newborn tiger cub, twin baby jaguar cubs and a baby donkey, so small it looks like a ball of fluff." Oh, the joys of being rich and spoiled.]

Perhaps this is why Suri never wears coats - she's shopping for a one of a kind fur one! Hand-picked, bitch - that's how she rolls.

Tiny Penises - Just In Time For Christmas!

kourtney-kardashian-kendra-wilkinson-us-weekly-cover-481x649.jpgKendra and Kourtney have popped, y'all! The reality television starlets, Kendra Wilkinson (The Girls Next Door, Kendra) and Kourtney Kardashian (Keeping Up With The Kardashians) have both given birth to baby boys within days of each other. They've shared magazine covers while preggo - will they now be competing for the coveted baby bonus payout? Celebrities have been known to garner thousands of dollars for first rights to newborn photos. Who will nab the most cash? It all comes down to the bones. Meanwhile, both Kendra and Kourtney have decided on relatively normal names for their children - Kendra's boy is named after his daddy, Hank Baskett. Kourtney's little lad has been crowned Mason Dash Disick. Will Mason's douchey pop, the naughty Scott Disick, step up to the plate? I'm sure we'll find out in the next season of KUWTK! As for Kendra, will she hold true to her word to keep her little tot off her television show? So many burning questions! 

What Took Them So Long?

Thumbnail image for courtney-love-frances-bean.jpgFrances Bean Cobain has been removed from Courtney Love's care, at the tender age of seventeen! What in the hell took Child Protective Services so long? This should have happened ages ago - like when she was first born! Details, via Bitten & Bound

[Courtney Love has lost custody of her daughter, at least temporarily. The Superior Court of Los Angeles has appointed two legal guardians to oversee 17-year-old Frances Bean Cobain's personal and financial well-being effective December 11, 2009. The court has appointed the teenager's paternal grandmother Wendy O'Conner, and her aunt Kimberly Dawn Cobain to care for the girl. It is unclear what has become of Love, though her past drug addiction issues may have resurfaced.  In any case, the courts have ruled that for now she has been deemed incompetent, and therefore not able to provide the proper care for her daughter. The court proceedings have been sealed by the judge.]

I don't know if it'll make a difference for Frances at this late stage, but hopefully she'll be well taken care of. Meanwhile, look for Courtney's Twitter to get even crazier - if that's possible!

Does He Strike You As Uptight?

Thumbnail image for aaron-eckhart-molly-sims-split-pic.jpgDo you remember the small tidbit that Aaron Eckhart and Molly Sims were dating? Not the biggest, or even most exciting, news in the world - but a nice story nonetheless. Just two attractive, successful people falling for each other - minus the Desperate Housewives-style drama. Well, it's still Hollywood so a shakeup had to occur at some point. The bust-up came at the hand of iron-jawed Aaron Eckhart. Molly's crime? Verbally confirming their relationship - barely. Details from the Star Magazine print edition, via Celebitchy

[Talk about a rude awakening for Molly Sims! Days after she fessed up in a mid-November interview to her under-the-radar romance with Aaron Eckhart, he dumped her for spilling the beans. "Aaron flipped out," says a source, "He's an incredibly private guy."

Still, the sudden breakup might be a blessing in disguise for Molly, who had been growing disenchanted with Eckhart. "Molly was surprised that he ended it with her - and by phone - but she was starting to realize he's not right for her. He's so closed off from the world," says the source. "She wants someone a bit more chill. Besides, she feels she deserves a guy who isn't afraid to tell the world they're in love!"]

Geez, Aaron - do you want to pull that stick out of your ass? It's not like Molly is anyone to be ashamed of dating. Oh well, it's best to know that a love interest is capable of being so cold-hearted sooner rather than later. 

[Photo Credit]

Don't Call It A Comeback

tara-reid-playboy.jpgTara Reid - remember her? She was the "It" girl of the moment, parlaying her virginal teen American Pie role into a spot in one of the best movies ever - The Big Lebowski. And then the fall - dating Carson Daily, the insane amount of partying and the bout of bad plastic surgery. When's the last time you saw Tara in a movie? Exactly. How would you bounce back? Well, if you're Tara you put yourself on the cover of Playboy for the holidays. I'm sure Hollywood will be calling. Details courtesy of Softpedia, via Celebitchy

[Tara Reid, star of "American Pie," has quite a reputation of a former hellraiser. Once the best friend of socialite Paris Hilton, Reid spent most part of her 20s in clubs, rehabs or, from what pictures tell us, sitting on the sidewalk, trying to stand upright. She also had a go at plastic surgery and thus ruined what many considered a perfect body. Now a reformed girl, Tara is saying in a recent interview she has also fixed her body.

The actress is to grace the pages of Playboy magazine come December 18, in what is meant to be a testimony that she solved every little thing that was wrong with her body. The spread is not meant to be regarded as a "in your face" type of thing, but rather as a silent statement from Tara that she realized she had done wrong in the past and took the necessary action to fix everything.

In the recent interview, Miss Reid also speaks about her movie career, which is again seeing progress. She has two films, a comedy and a drama, out in theaters soon, so it only felt like the next logical step for her was to show people that she had also fixed her body, so that people would stop insisting on the matter. As fans must know, Tara was the victim of much abuse and criticism in the media for ruining her body with plastic surgery, her breasts and abdomen in particular.

Speaking of which, Tara compares the experience to having an arm broken. "It wasn't a good surgery, it happens sometimes. I got it fixed and now I'm OK, and I want people to know that I'm OK. I've been OK now for the last five or six years but people only show old pictures which is so unfair and that's part of the reason why I did the Playboy shoot - to show the world this is me and this is what I look like," Reid says in the interview.

"I'm in my 30s now and I feel I'm at the best age in my life - mentally, physically and spiritually - and I'm proud of it," the actress goes on to explain. The spread should be illustrative of that and of the new stage in her life.]

I'm a bit conflicted. One on hand, if a man had partied as hard as she had he wouldn't be taking the same kind of heat. On the other hand, I feel like we've heard this "whoops, I'm sorry" thing from her before and nothing has changed but the size of her tits. I think Reid might be out of step with the times. Perhaps she should team up with Lindsay Lohan for the straight to DVD bin - at least she'd be getting a paycheck!

[Playboy Magazine Cover]

Umm, It's Time To Move On

Thumbnail image for tiger woods and elin.jpgI personally don't think I could recover from one indiscretion, much less twelve or more. Especially if those indiscretions allegedly included call girls, hookers and porn stars. That is obviously the situation Tiger Woods' wife, Elin Nordegren, has found herself in - and nothing about it is as pretty as her. Though Tiger has agreed to take an extended leave from golf (effective immediately) in order to help save his marriage, rumor has it that it might already be too late. Details, via The Sun

[Blonde Elin Nordegren ventured out to take the couple's two children to a Christmas party in Florida on Saturday. As she stopped for petrol it was clear she had taken off the gold band and diamond engagement ring she has worn throughout their five-year marriage. The outing came amid reports the family were visited by the Florida Department of Children and Families earlier in the day. The agency workers - said to have been flanked by cops - normally call on families to ensure the well-being of children following domestic violence incidents.

A massive row at the couple's mansion is thought to have sparked the November car crash that exposed the star's rampant secret life, said to include hookers. Tiger, 33, announced on Friday he was taking an indefinite break from golf in a bid to save his marriage to Swedish ex-model Elin and become a "better husband, father and person." But reports this weekend said Elin, 29, has already spoken to divorce lawyers and is planning a split in the New Year.

She hid her pain behind sunglasses as she made the car trip from the couple's £1.7million home in Windermere with Sam, two, and Charlie, ten months. A source said: "She's putting on a brave face but she's hurting terribly. "Tiger is doing everything he can to save his marriage but I can't see them getting through this. The wounds are too deep."]

Let's see - she's twenty-nine, absolutely gorgeous and already set for life. I'd like to see her hookup with a hot movie star, where her wildly happy new relationship could be flaunted in Tiger's face at all times. That's what I want for Elin - because I'm petty that way.

[Photo Credit]

Tiger Cheats - Kids Get Screwed

Man, the trickle down effect on this massive Tiger Woods scandal is a bitch. Now even the kids are feeling the heat. Check it out, via Fox News

[[Band director Tami] Bagstad requested the autographed picture from Woods' media team. It was expected to go for $1,500 at the auction. But after a series of unflattering revelations about the golfer's personal life, Bagstad said few people wanted to bid on the item. In the end, it only went for $300. The high bidder was Joe Lamia, the high school golf coach and a friend of Bagstad's. The band has still raised about 80% of the money it needs for the trip, but 80% isn't enough for all the kids to be able to go to Florida.

The picture only accounts for a portion of the fundraising shortfall, but Bagstad said the band still feels let down by Tiger. The kids and their parents will now have to make up the difference -- a price some families can not afford. "I kind of feel bad for them because it's a once-in-a-lifetime trip. You get really excited and learn that you can't go," said Morgan Anderson, an 8th grade band member.]

Well, if there's one thing Fox News is known for, it's being fair and balanced. Now you know the domino effect - Tiger and his cavalcade of whores means school children can't fulfill their dreams. What a selfish bastard. 

Have You Missed Him? Yeah, Me Neither.

jon-gosselin-yoga-pose.jpgOf the many astounding things about the massive Tiger Woods scandal is one positive outcome - the complete silence of the Gosselins. Jon "Douchebag" Gosselin seems absolutely boring next to Tiger's titillating spotlight. Don't think Jon has gone by the wayside willingly. He's not going down without a fight - even when all odds point to him getting his ass thoroughly kicked. Details, via The Hollywood Gossip

[It's a Christmas miracle arriving two weeks early: Jon Gosselin has been temporarily barred from making public appearances by a Maryland court. After TLC tore into him yesterday in the network's breach of contract lawsuit against the reality TV dad, a judge sided with TLC, at least for now. The court ruled that the network's case against Jon was strong enough to put a preliminary injunction in place, forcing him to abide by TLC's rules. That means no more interviews or appearances without TLC's permission. We don't suspect they'll be bending over backwards to grant it, either.

Everybody around the nation and world, throw your hands up and holla! TLC executive Edward Sabin testified against Jon on Thursday, saying the douchebag's recent actions - like hosting a pool party in Vegas, taking his girlfriend to France and talking to celeb gossip media outside of his home - were "embarrassing." A rep for TLC said today that, "The Court has validated our view that Mr. Gosselin has a valid, binding contract and that he has breached it repeatedly... we look forward to the next phase of the litigation, which is to pursue our claim for damages." In summation, it looks like Jon's f--ked. We're sure you're devastated.] 

I will not miss him one bit. He's definitely going the way of the Spencer around here - persona non grata. I'm sure Jon will reunite with Michael Lohan in some skeevy attempt for more press - but I shall not take the bait this time. Unless he starts dating Lindsay, in which case I'll definitely have to throw in my two cents!

[Photo Credit]

Kim Kardashian Finds A Way To Upstage It All

Leave it to Kim K! Khloe and Kim Kardashian were scheduled to appear on Good Morning L.A. - but Kim found a way to make a separate appearance (forcing Khloe out first, naturally) and subsequently upstaging the proceedings with her late entrance. Khloe was in the middle of discussing her marriage and sister Kourtney's pregnancy - topics that were never returned to after Kim hit the stage. Ya gotta hand it to her - she always finds a way to stay on top. In fact, I'm surprised Reggie Bush ever broke up with Kim given that kind of talent!

Countdown To More Sex!

Sex-and-the-City-2-movie-poster.jpgIt's a countdown to Sex & The City: The Sequel - and I can barely wait! Part two will be released in May of 2010, which will somehow be here before we know it. I realize that many people have doubts regarding the validity of continuing the beloved character's storylines much past the first movie - and a lot of folks weren't pleased with those results - but I personally will take more. I love the series so much that any additional time I get with "the girls" is a total thrill. Yes, I'd be worried about my spinster future too if I didn't have a husband! There's also the well-documented hedonistic area of my life - if there is more, I will take more. I'm an Uh-merican, damn it. On a serious note, this time around will be bittersweet. My sister-in-law was still with us when the first movie hit the big screen. It was her carrot, dangling at the end of a long stick. We used to joke to each other that she couldn't possibly die before finding out what happened with Carrie and Big! We'd laugh, but we would keep our fingers crossed that it was true. Needless to say, opening day was a joyous one as we raced to the movie theater together. Longtime readers of PLP (as well as beloved friends and family) know that Penny passed away in September after an extraordinarily brave battle with cancer. The first Christmas without her will bring enormous challenges - but nothing will personally bring me tears like walking into the cineplex without her in May. I don't think they'll allow an open flame in the theater - but I'll be the one swaying in the back with an unlit candle, hoping that she's watching with me from a happier place. 

Have You Heard The One About Lindsay Lohan Saving Children In India?

Lindsay Lohan - "Lindsay's Private Party"
by hotcelebs Video mildly NSFW - released in conjunction with her recent Muse Magazine photo session. Irony or bad timing? You make the call!

Yeah, it sounds like a joke. It should be a joke. But it's very true. Lindsay Lohan is in India on an official mission - at the behest of the esteemed BBC. Has anyone clued LaLohan in to the fact that it's far too late for an Angelina Jolie type of image reinvention? Details, via The Guardian CO UK

[To wit: Lindsay has been sent to India to make a documentary. By the BBC. At present, the BBC is declining to expand on the precise details of Lohan's mission, but there are indications that the Mean Girls star will be investigating trafficking of women and children - a small-screen outing that could yet make Channel 4's Peaches Geldof's Beginner's Guide to Islam look like a worthy successor to Kenneth Clark's Civilisation.

Happily, Lindsay is far more forthcoming than the Beeb, and her Twitter feed - live from India - has the flavour of a lobotomised captain's log. "Over 40 children saved so far, within one day's work," reads a Wednesday entry. "this is what life is about . . . Doing THIS is a life worth living!!! Oh, and I'm talking about being in India."

1. Is the person who commissioned this programme unwell?

2. Do you believe this to be some sort of talent coup? Are you even dimly aware that Lindsay can't get arrested in Hollywood (except literally)?

3. Are you now providing an image-laundering services for starlets whose careers are in foreclosure, in which impoverished subcontinentals are co-opted to play supporting roles?

4. And finally, something of a philosophical point: which do you think is more offensive - Lindsay Lohan being used as a plot device via which BBC3 can examine human trafficking, or human trafficking being used as a plot device via which BBC3 can examine the continuing Lindsay Lohan story?]

Click here to read more on this well-educated Lohan slam. If you think that's all of the story, you're crazier than Lindsay. This is a Lohan we're talking about - of course there's more. Remember when the rumor broke that Lindsay allegedly made out with Cash Warren (Jessica Alba's husband)? Linds immediately went on the defensive, braying that it absolutely was not true. Why then is she Tweeting Cash while on her child-saving mission in India? Details, via Lainey Gossip

[As you know, Lindsay Lohan is alleged to have made out with Cash Warren, married to Jessica Alba, at a club one night. She insists it's not true. Now she's is in India, supposedly saving children, and as soon as she got off the plane, she posted a message for him on her Twitter: "landed!"

So if you're Lilo, and you're trying to deny that you're rubbing up against another woman's husband, would he be the first person you tweet at to let him know you've arrived in India? You would if you wanted people to keep thinking it. You would if you wanted to mess around. You would if you are, at this point, a desperate loser angling for his attention, unable to call him, and getting no response via email. And it's not like Alba wouldn't find out. Alba is on Twitter too. Last night she (the sweet "wifey") made dinner for Cash (that name!) who boasted about it on his own Twitter. Which Lilo would have read. And her response is to jam herself in there to announce to him that she's safe at her destination...?]

LiLo is like a shark. Just when you think it's safe to go in the water again... you find out the water is teeming with STDs. 

Bridget Moynahan's Public Bitch-slap

bridget-moynahan-in-silver.jpgIt was the breakup heard 'round the world when Tom Brady split with former girlfriend Bridget Moynahan - while she was pregnant. Though Victoria's Secret model Gisele Bundchen had nothing to do with the demise of Tom and Bridget's relationship, the speed with which Tom and Gisele hooked up definitely raised some eyebrows. Most of you know the end result: Bundchen and Brady's whirlwind romance, two wedding ceremonies (one in the church Moynahan regularly frequents) and the subsequent recent birth of their own son. I think Bridget might still be a wee-bit pissed off. Let's just say we wouldn't have to worry about global warming if it were possible for words to help refreeze the Arctic. Details, via Lainey Gossip

[Bridget still isn't over it. As you know, Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen announced the birth of their son yesterday. It's Brady's second child. He and ex-girlfriend Bridget Moynahan are the parents of little Jack. So Bridget felt compelled to release an acidic statement congratulating the couple on their baby: "I wish [Tom and Gisele] the best with their baby. I'm sure my son will enjoy having a half-sibling."]

I realize this may sound tame to some of you - but trust me, this registers "battle" on the female scale. Girl to girl fighting is tricky terrain, mainly navigated by a war of the words. It might take more time than our testosterone fueled counterparts, but rarely does a nose get broken.

[Photo Credit: Bridget Moynahan, pictured above, recently joined the cast of Ramona & Beezus - based on the popular Beverly Cleary novel. The flick will reunite her with another ex, John Corbett. The two previously costarred on Sex & The City for several episodes. Interesting!]

I Think We Could Easily Pitch This

rihanna-main-ama-awards-wikipedia.jpgI've always wanted to sit in on a pitch meeting in Hollywood. It's a mystery how all the crap that gets created actually makes it to the big screen - much less how bad films find a budget out of the gate. Then again, some things are a sure-shot, profit-wise - which explains a lot. With all the dreck out there, what would stop me from taking my shot? Luckily, I don't even have to work for it - Rihanna has taken care of things for me. That girl is so thoughtful! Details, via the fabulous Evil Beet

["I'd love to be an assassin. Either that or a lesbian. Maybe both! Hey, a gay assassin, there's nothing hotter than that." Ri joked. "Megan Fox would play my girlfriend - hands down. She's yummy. She's hot." - Rihanna on what kind of roles she'd like to play in the future.]

Now all I have to do is insinuate myself into RiRi's camp, befriend her, earn her trust and become her manager. Simple. I can smell the millions. Megan Fox is already in the bag. A chance to play a lesbian assassin would be another chance for her to deny that she wants to be like Angelina Jolie - all while acting exactly like Angelina Jolie. 

This Is Why We're Despised Across The Pond

Does this really need much of an explanation? Miley Cyrus, in London, smacking gum and sounding like an idiot. This is one of our entertainment ambassadors, overseas for the holidays. Is it any wonder why people shake their head's in amusement when we try to venture out of our own country? Or, as a commenter over at the beloved Evil Beet so hilariously surmised: "Mmmm. Chewing gum like a cow and sitting like you have balls. Classy." Couldn't have said it better myself. Read more details about Miley's visit with the Queen of England here

Let Me See.... Who Else?

Here is a NSFW video (due to language) where porn star Holly Sampson tells the world that she had sex with Tiger Woods. Well, first she talks about flings with Kevin Costner (and his large penis) and Stephen Dorff. When questioned by the dowdily dressed hostess if she's "fucked anyone else famous" there's a loooong pause. Oh, yeah! Tiger Woods. Apparently he was dubbed "very good" by Holly - even though it took her a day and an age to recall their sexual encounter. See, not everyone is crying in her Chardonnay about Tiger's non-exclusive relationships. Holly seems to have more of a... practical approach. You'll note from the air date that Sampson dropped this bomb almost seven months ago - but media outlets have only recently discovered the footage. I'm guessing Naughty America is about to see their ratings soar! At least someone is set for good news from all this madness... In an interesting side note, Holly's husband reportedly left her because of her fling with Tiger. Tit for tat.

Now We're Getting Somewhere!

Sometimes I feel I hear so much about the big-budget movies before they ever hit the screen that it seems weird when the films finally make it to the theater. Opening night at the box office seems redundant after six months of chatter! This is not the case with the upcoming flick, The Vicious Kind. In fact, I've never even heard of it - which is refreshing for me, but might not bode well for the release. Let's help turn the tide. The dramady features two of my favorite actors, Adam Scott and Brittany Snow. If you haven't yet seen Adam's turn as a disillusioned actor turn caterer in Party Down, you owe it to yourself to see it right away. Here are a few details on the project that has brought these two cuties together, via First Showing

[This stars a bittersweet Adam Scott (the male nurse from Knocked Up), a super sweet Brittany Snow (the hot blonde girl from Hairspray), and a freakin' sweet J.K. Simmons (who plays J. Jonah Jameson in Spider-Man). It seems kind of like an awkward mix of an indie drama and mumblecore comedy, but that could be a good thing. The bitter Caleb Sinclaire (Adam Scott) tries to warn his brother away from the new girlfriend (Brittany Snow) he brings home during Thanksgiving, but ends up becoming infatuated with her in the process.

The Vicious Kind is both written and directed by former Neil LaBute protege, filmmaker Lee Toland Krieger, of only the 2006 film December Ends previously. This first premiered at the Sundance Film Festival earlier this year (in 2009). And it also just landed two Independent Spirit Awards nominations for Best Screenplay and Best Lead Actor. The Vicious Kind will be opening in very limited theaters starting on December 11th.]

This is rumored to be a breakout, leading-man role for Adam - which I hope turns out to be the case. Anyone who can steal the show from Will Ferrell (another fave), as Scott was able to do in Step Brothers, deserves a break! 

Justin Timberlake Loyal To Best Friend - Not So Loyal To Girlfriend

My on again/off agin disgust with Justin Timberlake is totally back ON. I had a brief thawing in my heart for Justin after I learned he finally realized he didn't do right by Janet Jackson. That was yesterday. Today the full freeze is back in effect. Details, via Page Six

[Justin Timberlake partied and flirted with a gaggle of gorgeous girls the other night, sparking new rumors that he and girlfriend Jessica Biel are on the rocks. Timberlake, who's repeatedly denied his relationship with Biel is in trouble, flirted with a string of women as he partied with Brett Ratner at Timbaland's album release party at Hudson Terrace on Tuesday. He later left with prolific womanizer Ratner and a group of pretty girls in tow.

A source told Page Six: "He certainly didn't look like a man with a girlfriend. He was partying in the upstairs VIP area with his best friend, Trace Ayala, Brett Ratner and a group of girls. The girls were all over him, fighting to give him their numbers, and he seemed to be enjoying it. There was one model-type blonde he chatted to for a while. 

"At one point, a bodyguard did not recognize Ayala and kept him out of the VIP area, so Timberlake fired him on the spot. Around 1:30 a.m., Timberlake left along with Ayala, Ratner and a group of girls, including the model blonde, and headed to the Boom Boom Room."

Timberlake has been fending off rumors that he and Hollywood beauty Biel, who's been filming "The A-Team," are in trouble over his flirting. They put on a display of unity last month at a Jay-Z concert in LA. They also denied a report that their three-year romance was over. Biel said in an interview last month, "You have to have a sense of humor about the whole thing."

Earlier on Tuesday night, Timberlake attended an event at Skylight Studio and was careful to sit far away from Rihanna, who denied rumors they hooked up while working on her album. A rep for Timberlake said, "We do not comment on Justin's private life." A rep for Biel didn't get back to us.]

First of all, I thought Justin and Jessica broke up ages ago. Second of all, it clearly pays to have a dick (in a box) when "hanging" with Timberlake. He'll allegedly cheat multiple times on his supposed girlfriend - but he'll fire a security guard at the drop of the hat for cheating his best friend out of a few moments of VIP action. Seems like quite a disparity in the ratio of respect is at work there! 

Save Yourself Some Bucks

A hilarious summary of Twilight: New Moon - warning, contains plot spoilers! I actually like this version better than the movie. Save yourself some money and watch New Moon from the comfort of your own home!

Another Bizarre Celebrity Hookup

Thumbnail image for holly-madison-peta-ad.jpgI thought spring was supposed to bring out the randiness in people. Apparently when you're a celebrity it doesn't matter what part of the year it is - anytime is a good time for a random hookup. (See: Katy Perry and Russell Brand, Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan.) Holly Madison  has always been happy to follow the trends. Her attempt to hop on the bandwagon? A fling with none other than Paris Hilton's ex, Benji Madden. All together now - ewwww! Details, via Snarkerati

[Hot off of the trails of dating Hugh Hefner and Criss Angel, Holly Madison is stepping back into the dating game, with none other than Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden. According to sources, she was flirting with him on Twitter. Like that hasn't already been done. (See Demi and Ashton, then try not to barf). She tweeted, "You can say I'm hanging out with someone I have a crush on. [Benji] is just someone I have a crush on...for now!"

A source said that they were spotted at a Starbucks in Los Angeles and the duo were all over each other. The snitch said, "It was obvious something was going on between them. Benji stood next to Holly with his arm around her. He was rubbing her lower back and the top of her butt, and she was hanging on his shoulder. They were laughing and flirting the entire time. They couldn't take their hands off each other!"]

Isn't Holly a grazillion years older than Benji? Wikipedia results say no, but I still feel like she managed to shave a few years off somewhere along the way. As for Benji, going from Paris to Holly isn't much of a stretch. At least it's familiar terrain!

[Photo Credit]

Celebrity Mash-Up

This is an insane representation of virtually every hot celebrity currently working the Hollywood scene - and yet it still comes out looking like a lukewarm cookie cutter rom-com. I still plan on seeing it regardless because I'm an absolute sucker for these kind of things. Still, couldn't the director have tried a little harder to use all that talent? Read more about Valentine's Day here and here

A Lukewarm Apology

I've been actively ticked off at Justin Timberlake ever since the Super Bowl "Nipplegate" incident with Janet Jackson. I felt he behaved quite poorly by letting her take all the heat. They were not only friends - they were also rumored lovers. And yet, when (media heat) push came to (public perception) shove, Justin ran for cover and left Janet to fend for herself. He's been on my shit list ever since. It's looks like he's finally feeling a tad remorseful, albeit five years later. Details, from Digital Spy via Celebitchy

[Justin Timberlake has reportedly admitted that he could have been more supportive of Janet Jackson in the aftermath of her famed wardrobe malfunction. Timberlake was performing on stage with Jackson at the 2004 Super Bowl half-time show when he ripped open her jacket to reveal her naked breast. The incident resulted in the exposure of Jackson's nipple to an estimated 140m TV viewers of the CBS show. Timberlake said at the time that he had no idea that Jackson was topless and distanced himself from the furor. According to Entertainment Weekly, the 28-year-old said that he regrets the way that he handled the situation. "I wish I had supported Janet more. I am not sorry I apologised, but I wish I had been there more for Janet," he said.]

Perhaps the years have lent Justin some maturity and insight. Or perhaps he's still a douchebag -  a kinder, gentler version. Of course we still have to address why he sold out Britney Spears in Cry Me A River. And there's still that pesky little issue that all of his "legitimate" songs still sound like parodies. Oh, and there's the mystery of his "street cred." In other words - he's still far from being off the hook or off my list! To be fair, Justin is not alone in relegating women to the status of second class citizens - my doctor intimated to me today that our heath care system is out to screw women as well. All that news you may have heard about women only needing PAPs and mammograms every three years is not because our bodies have become magically healthier. Rather, my doc suggested it was because insurance companies would rather not pay for ladies to have regular checkups. Cry me a river indeed. 

Here, There And Everywhere

This will surely be one of the most seen commercials of the holiday season. I wonder how much director Michael Bay (Transformers) got paid to create this ad. Victoria's Secret got ripped off, in my opinion. It doesn't look any different from their typical "models sashaying in panties" spots the company has been running for years. The only Bay inspired elements seem to be the loud music, helicopter shot and fire/explosions. I guess the upside is that we already know what these girls look like in their bikinis, so it's unlikely any of them had to wash Michael's car in order to secure the job. 

Perez Hilton Gets Spanked By KTLA

Perez Hilton receives a verbal smackdown from a KTLA anchor - and it is hilarious. An absolute must watch...

Bullet With Butterfly Wings

jessica-simpson-in-concert-main-wikipedia.jpgJessica Simpson is like Lindsay Lohan, except she comes armed with a Bible. The connection? These two starlets will hook up with nearly anyone. Case in point - Jessica's latest crush is none other than Smashing Pumpkin's lead grouch, Billy Corgan. WTF? This alleged hookup could not be more random - literally. First up, the sanitized Ok! Magazine details: 

[Jessica Simpson has several reasons to smile this holiday season. While it may seem like her sister Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has it all right now -- an adoring husband Pete Wentz, her son Bronx Mowgli and a Broadway debut in Chicago -- Jessica may be catching up soon! She has a new crush that she's very excited about!

OK! has learned that Jessica is crazy about Smashing Pumpkins front man Billy Corgan since she connected with him at a party on Nov. 6. The singer hasn't had much luck with guys since her divorce from Nick Lachey in 2005, but she feels a connection with Billy.

"She has completely fallen for Billy and his easygoing, smart attitude," a close friend of Jess said. "She says she wants to take things a lot further." On Sept. 11 Jessica tweeted, "My friend, Billy Corgan, has a pure and enlightening outlook on faith. Go to his new website!"

Her friends said Jessica has "secretly been crushing on him for months and felt there was a connection." Jessica spent an evening in November at a friend's party in L.A. flirting with Billy. "As the night went on," an eyewitness said, "Things got more intense and they talked with their faces just inches apart."

"We do worry that she is on the rebound," an insider explained. "But she is a big girl and capable of making her own decisions."]

The writers at OK! need to settle down and stop jacking off Ashlee Simpson. Then again the "adoring husband" statute has been eased since the dawn of the Tigering we've taken lately. Pete Wentz seems absolutely upstanding, when cast in that shadow. Moving on to the more fun opinion piece, courtesy of Celebitchy

[I heard or read this rumor a few days ago, and I didn't write anything about it because at this point, it seems like people are just picking names out of a hat and putting them beside Jessica Simpson. But things have changed... and now it looks like Jessica may actually be dating Billy Corgan, lead singer and lead guitarist for The Smashing Pumpkins. Billy is 42 years old, an indie rock god, divorced, and he used to date and live with Courtney Love. Before and after Kurt Cobain!

Now Ken Baker at E! has a source confirming this sh-t! Can you believe it? The source says: "She has fallen hard and is smitten...[they are] officially dating." The source adds that Jessica's close friends and family are thisclose to giving up on Jessica's love life: "[They think] he's just another in an endless string of Jessica's boyfriends. They think he's too old for her. No one takes any of her boyfriends seriously anymore because she has had so many. They're sick of all of them being 'the one.' " Ouch. With that kind of bitchiness, I'm thinking the "source" is Ken Paves? No, no - he loves Jessica, really he does. It sounds more like Ashlee.]

Ashlee does have a special way of giving her sis backhanded compliments - a cover for all the pent-up rage she experienced when she wasn't "the cute one." Anyone remember how she "defended" Jessica's weight? Enough said. But this post isn't about Ashlee, damnit. Many have wondered what Jessica and Billy could possibly have in common. A friend of mine came up with the perfect answer - big egos and small brains. Let's take bets on how long it takes before this thing implodes...

[Photo Credit]

Full House

john-stamos-at-beach-boys-gig.jpgOf course we're talking about the more desirable poker option, not the played out television show. I guess any old celebrity is ripe for an extortion plot these days. The latest celeb to get pinched for cash is John Stamos. Come on guys, he already lost his former wife to the fat kid from Stand By Me. Don't you think he's had enough? Details, via Snarkerati

[Two people have been arrested in the alleged extortion plot surrounding "Full House" actor John Stamos. Apparently the guy got ahold of some compromising photos of Stamos at a party in 2004 and had tried extorting money from him so that they wouldn't be released. The duo tried to get a whopping $680,000 from Stamos, but instead, he called the FBI. Now I have to wonder what these were photos of that would ruin his career? What his he buck naked snorting line of coke with Lindsay Lohan? Or was it more tame ala Michael Phelps' bong hitting? For almost 700 grand, it better have been good!]

Looks like Stamos called the blackmailer's bluff - and that's where the poker analogy comes in! Bam. This story has me curious about what Uncle Jesse was up to - and what could have possibly been bad enough to ruin a non-existent career. Damn FBI, always coming to the rescue to louse up our fun. What's happened to the Christmas spirit?

Tiger Woods Is Exhausting

tiger-woods-main-wikipedia.jpgIt's official - I can not keep up with Tiger Woods. Good thing we never met at a roadside Perkins restaurant - who knows what would have happened! With the alleged mistress count currently at seven and more disturbing details released daily - the latest is that he didn't wear condoms with at least two of his flings - the quiet golfer that could has turned into the scandal of the decade. But wait, there's more! Of course there is, via Bitten & Bound

[Right now, Tiger Woods and his family are at the center of a fire storm that just keeps building. The pro golfer's reported infidelity on a major scale has fueled rumors that his wife Elin Nordegren has moved out of the couple's Windermere home. The ever-growing mistress count is currently at seven.

TMZ is reporting that sources attached to Health Central Hospital are saying that Tiger was admitted the day after Thanksgiving because of an apparent overdose. Careless pill taking or attempted suicide? A hospital employee states that the fifth floor of the hospital was on lock down after Woods arrived. Tiger was registered under the alias William Smith and was admitted to the intensive care unit, with his wife Elin by his side.

Paramedics suspected drugs at the scene and they questioned Tiger's wife about what he might have taken. Elin gave the paramedics two bottles of pills that she quickly retrieved from their home; one was the sleep aid Ambien and the other Vicodin. Tiger was reportedly put on a breathing tube to support his depressed respiration. The sources stated that they changed Tiger's alias after a few hours fearing people would find out that he was at the hospital.]

What an odd alias to use at the hospital. My mind, much like everyone else's, immediately jumped to Will Smith. I'm sure he doesn't appreciate being even remotely associated with this mess! I personally don't think this was a suicide attempt. It's been well documented that Tiger enjoyed taking various pills before engaging in sex. Perhaps he was hoping for a night of marital bliss before things went awry the evening after Thanksgiving. Needless to say, Elin needs to put on some sneakers and run. Anyone who could do all this to his wife does not deserve to be married. If you're capable of having unprotected sex and then going home to the mother of your children - well, you probably should be single.

[Photo Credit]

Her Nipple Slip Just Happened In The Moment, Naturally

Lindsay-Lohan-Muse-Magazine.jpgLindsay Lohan mirroring Kate Moss in a racy photo shoot that reflects a threesome? It's just another day at "the office" for LaLohan! Details, courtesy of Bitten & Bound

[Since the acting thing isn't working these days for Lindsay Lohan, it looks like she is making ends meet by posing in magazine photo shoots. This time she is gracing the pages of Muse magazine. The photographer of the shoot was Yu Tsai. The pictures were to reflect the relationship between Johnny Depp and Kate Moss, debauched times, and a threesome. Tsai spoke with the New York Post about the photos. "The three of them were very sensual and provocative, but Lindsay understands this piece was created not for any sensational value other than artistic integrity. There was never a discussion about pushing the boundaries. She was totally comfortable with the nudity as long as it had artistic integrity." Yu went on to say, "When you see her nipple, it just happened in the moment. She was playing the role of Kate Moss -- you're at a party and you are with a guy you really love and another girl."]

Of course there was never any discussion about boundaries - she doesn't have any! I love the nipple/party/threesome/Kate-n-Johnny analogy. I'm sure they appreciate it too. I don't really think you can use "artistic integrity" in conjunction with Lindsay at the moment - but at least she got a paycheck in time for the holidays! Oh, there are more photos here - nice and racy, just how we like 'em.

Angelina Jolie Takes It From Behind, In The Name Of Love

brad-pitt-angelina-jolie-nude-banner.jpgHe's baaaaack! The sculptor who gained fame with the "Britney Spears on a bearskin rug giving birth" mess piece of art has returned - this time his sights are set on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I don't know what goes through this guy's head, but it must be pretty interesting in there! Details, via I Don't Like You In that Way

[Phantom-Financial announces the December unveiling of the sculpture of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie in an amorous embrace by artist Daniel Edwards, just minutes from Brad Pitt's own birthplace in the Oklahoma City Metro area. The sculpture is part of the 4,000 Sq Ft, $500,000 house named "The Brangelina," by the Los Angeles artist known as Xvala. "Brangelina Forever," a life-size casting of Brad and Angelina in bed, making love Harlequin Romance-style, with a cooing dove perched on Brad's finger, is installed in the ceiling of the master bedroom to inspire a 'sexual healing' for the room's occupants. The statues are embedded with crushed glass containing Brad and Angie's DNA obtained from wine glasses from which they drank while reportedly celebrating the anniversary of their first meeting on the set of "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." "The 'Brangelina' sculpture is destined to exist forever, the way Brad and Angie's relationship will persist in peoples' memories. Theirs is the Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton romance of our time," said publicist Cory Allen. Inspired by Brad Pitt's mission to help rebuild houses in New Orleans's Lower Ninth Ward after Hurricane Katrina, the artist Xvala built "The Brangelina," a house which requests its future owners agree to extend 'Honorary Ownership' of their home to Pitt and Jolie, and to accommodate them every time they come to town to visit Pitt's grandmother. "I believe every home in America should become an 'honorary home' to our Superstars, in order to connect celebrities and regular people in spirit," said Xvala.]

It really does take all kinds. And it'll take the other half of the crazies for someone to bust loose and rub her parts on the statue in hopes of obtaining some celebrity DNA. I'm counting down the moments to a "Brad Pitt statue got my wife pregnant" story. Weekly World News, I'm looking to you...

[Photo Credit: I guess the bird flew in for some "sexual healing."]

Nicole Kidman Can't Pick A Role

It's no secret that Hollywood is a total roller-coaster. Nicole Kidman seems to have forgotten that fact. The star was once dismissed merely as "Mrs. Cruise" before she rose to prominence on her own talent after her divorce. She was embraced and celebrated for many years in the arms of both her peers and fans alike. Well, given the nature of things, the tide has turned yet again. Nicole has come under fire for her heavy (alleged) Botox use. Kidman is not alone - the only difference is that she can't seem to stand firm (ha ha) in her own skin anymore. Last month she tried to inhabit a racy dominatrix; while the holidays have brought the sweet homemaker from Nashville to the public forefront. Granted, she is an actress - but even a chameleon has to pick a color to stay safe. Holy hell you guys - I'm so sorry. I haven't had coffee yet and subsequently there are enough metaphors contained in this post to start my own greeting cards line. Moving on, here's an excerpt from Celebitchy regarding Nicole and aging. It's much more fun than the sanitized People Magazine interview, which you can read in it's entirety here. Without further ado, the scoop from Celebitchy

[One of my favorite things in the world is when a celebrity denies having plastic surgery when it's obvious to the legally blind that the celebrity's face is jacked to hell. I can't help it - it's like Christmas come early. Along with the plastic surgery denials, I love when an actress pontificates on aging gracefully when it's obvious she has no intention of doing any such thing. Nicole Kidman has done both - she's denied having plastic surgery in the past, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary, and now, in a new People Magazine interview, she's positively rapturous about aging naturally. Maybe I'm going overboard - because, in fact, when Nicole was asked "How do you cope working in an industry that refuses to let women age naturally and gracefully?", Nicole answers: "Well, I live in Tennessee so it is slightly different than living in L.A. I just worked with Sophia Loren [in Nine], and she is so gorgeous and she has such grace. I use her as a role model." So maybe I'm being too harsh. But I still laughed out loud when I read that.]

I think the double standards that exist between men and women suck - and there's no doubt that ladies are hit harder by getting older in a society that rejects the notion. Regardless, some stars figure out how to gracefully navigate this terrain - think Sandra Bullock - while others enter panic mode long before they need to. Behavior that ironically brings the "aging issue" to the forefront. Pick a role and stand tall, Nicole - you deserve it.

What Could Possibly Be The Meaning Of This?

Thumbnail image for lindsay-lohan-wikipedia-small.jpgTiger Woods has done the impossible. No, not having sex while passed out on Ambien - apparently that's quite "doable." Bad pun intended, per usual. The latest Tiger feat? His world is so nuts right now, he's even managed to overshadow Lindsay Lohan's ongoing drama. Lindsay, just because the paparazzi is away doesn't mean it's time for you to play. Details, via Allie Is Wired

[Lindsay Lohan was spotted by snappers leaving Jason Segel's West Hollywood home on December 5th. Lilo looked like she was in a hurry to get out of there as quickly as possible, while Jason emerged with his Dracula puppet and some water in his hands, cheesin' for the cameras. They are an unlikely couple, to say the least. But I don't think she was there to get a real life rendition of "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", do you?]

Click here for a lovely photo album of Lohan's latest alleged hookup. I guess Cash Warren is out of the picture and it's actually Jason Segel that she's "working" with - that explains it!

[Photo Credit: Whatcha got in your hands, Linds?]

An Explanation For Miley's Tit Tat

Thumbnail image for miley-cyrus-pink-bikini-tattoo.jpgPeople recently got their knickers in a bunch (myself included) when photos surfaced of an under the tit tattoo on teen-queen, Miley Cyrus. Though the placement seems odd, the message is heartwarming. The heart is near the left breast - does that help continue the justification of a minor getting such an intimate tat? Details, via Gone Hollywood

[The past week, the web's been all aflutter regarding the pictures of Miley's "terrible white trash" tattoo which "proves she's no role model for kids" and "shows that she's trying to escape her good girl image". Well, a lot of bloggers might want to figure out if they like to eat their words raw or cooked.

It turns out that the tattoo, which reads "Just Breathe", is a dedication to Miley's close friend Vanessa, who passed away from Cystic Fibrosis three years ago. Cystic Fibrosis is a devastating chronic disease that is usually found in children. It causes progressive disability, lung blockages and various other horrible symptoms, often leading to the death of infants, children and young adults. Which means that a whole shitload of bloggers are now one step closer to hell. Congratulations, I'll see you all there.

Miley also has "Just Breathe" on the neck of one of her guitars. "Just Breathe" is the slogan for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, which Miley Cyrus is a big supporter of.]

Aww, get all warm and cuddly for a sec. Okay, we're back. Hot on the heels of the sweet comes the naughty. Details, via Perez Hilton

[Maybe she thought she could pass for over 21 with her new tattoo? Miley Cyrus tried to talk her way into Club LIV at the Fontainbleau in Miami on Wednesday night but was flat out denied! Cyrus showed up to the club with her "posse", but her parade was quickly rained on when she was reminded by the doorman that she's still a minor. It's about time a club actually lived up to their 21-and-over rule! Although we're dying to witness Miley Gone Wild!]

Whew - we've returned to familiar terra firma. Until Miley's next surprise, that is...

[Photo Credit]

It's X-mas In Da House!

Kendra-Wilkinson-Hank-Baskett-Christmas-Lights-120409-430x322.jpgMy favorite intellectual neophyte, Kendra Wilkinson, continues to post her adorably huge belly on the internet. Though her wildly promiscuous punctuation continues to shock, her good intentions never fail to make me smile. Here is her holiday update, via her blog

[Yesterday Hank and i put our lights up for lil Hank's first Xmas, we're so excited he's gonna be here before the holiday!!!! We're gonna shower him with gifts even though he won't even know what they are lolol. This is my favorite time of year and i feel so blessed that i'm getting the best present in the world! Happy Holidays!!! Love,
The Basketts]

I expect that February will bring the inevitable "How I Got My Body Back" pay-per interviews. They've got to save up for Lil Hank's college education after all! 

[Photo Credit: Happy Holidaze! I had to go there - frankly I'm totally shocked that Kendra didn't beat me to it...]

Oh Yeah, There's That Other Phenomenom

The Twilight epidemic has been dominating both movie screens and media for so long that it's easy to forget the magic that came before diamond-encrusted vampires. We are about to be handily reminded. Details, via First Showing

[Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows is again directed by British filmmaker David Yates, of Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince previously. The script was also written again by Steve Kloves, of Sorcerer's Stone, Chamber of Secrets, Prisoner of Azkaban, Goblet of Fire, and also Half-Blood Prince, but not Order of the Phoenix. This is based on J.K. Rowling's very popular series of books which have already concluded. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part I will arrive in theaters on November 19th, 2010 next year. The first half of this video is a brief introduction and then it goes into the teaser trailer about at the halfway point.]

The Twilight and Harry Potter series are obviously on opposite ends of the spectrum. I poured over the Harry Potter books cover to cover - but I have less interest in seeing the movies because I don't want anyone usurping my imagination. It's quite the opposite with Twilight - I thought the first novel in the series was poorly written (the only one I've read to date), but I rather enjoy the films. I figure that a matinee is only two hours of my time - and the expectations are set so low that I actually end up enjoying myself. Ah, irony - you never cease to amaze me.

Thanks For The Confirmation, Tiger

rachel-uchitel-list.jpgAmidst the myriad of Tiger Woods scandal information, I got overrun and forgot to post this juicy little piece. Tiger and Rachel Uchitel didn't pass it up - why should I? Details, via Us Weekly Magazine

[Want a peek into Tiger Woods' erotic dream life? It involves one of his alleged mistresses Rachel Uchitel -- in a menage a trois with New York Yankees Derek Jeter and Bones actor David Boreanaz.

The new issue of Us Weekly reports that NYC club manager Uchitel, 34, bragged to friends of her flings with the rich and famous -- Uchitel's conquests apparently included Woods plus Ryan Seacrest, Jeter and the married Boreanaz.

A boastful Uchitel allegedly forwarded along a bizarre, extremely private email from Woods, 33, in which he referenced her famous flings. Woods' email, Uchitel's friend tells Us, details the athlete's "disturbing dream."

"I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament," Woods reportedly wrote. "I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f--ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that."

The married athlete then explains how wired he is from his X-rated vision of Uchitel with TV and baseball hunks. "Now I can't get back to sleep. My body is tired, but my mind is awake. Need an Ambien."]

You may remember that Rachel first made the gossip scene recently when she was named as the other woman in the David Boreanaz case of the affair. This allegedly went down while Boreanaz's wife was pregnant. It seems that this supposed email from Tiger would ironically confirm that little tidbit. In other news, David Letterman sent a generous gift basket to the Woods' home in thanks for taking the heat off. 

[Photo Credit: Rachel Uchitel, gatekeeper at some of the hottest NYC and Las Vegas clubs, wants to know if you're on the list. That has quite an ironic ring to it now...]

I Can't Step Away For Even A Second!

mindy-lawton-tiger-woods-5.jpgIt seems every time I step away from my computer, another woman steps forward claiming to have had sex with Tiger Woods. I think I need to handcuff myself to my laptop, for Elin's sake. More details, again from the fabulous Bitten & Bound

[Mindy Lawton is the alleged 5th mistress (or is it 6th? I'm losing count) to come forward with claims of an affair with Tiger Woods. Mindy, 34, a waitress at a Perkins restaurant in Orlando frequented by Woods and his wife Elin, began her affair with Tiger in the summer of 2006.

According to Mindy's sister, Lynn Lawton, Mindy was dazzled by Tiger, so when he called the restaurant and asked her to meet him at the Blue Martini - a favorite haunt of Tiger's, she was excited and nervous.

Mindy and her sister met Tiger in the VIP room of the club, where he was sitting with a group of Orlando and Los Angeles basketball players. Tiger and Mindy left the club separately, and she followed him to his home in a gated development, where she was waved in by the guard.  She told her sister the next day that she had sex with him in his house and "he was extremely good."

Mindy claims she and Tiger had sex all over the house, but never in the bedroom. According to the former waitress, the golfer had a penchant for the color red, and their sex was passionate and urgent. Their affair, during which time Tiger's wife Elin became pregnant, continued for a year, when Tiger suddenly stopped calling.

In an investigation by the Daily Mail, it has been discovered that a tabloid had been following Tiger and Mindy, and had photos of the two of them having sex in a church parking lot. When Tiger's management team learned of the incriminating pictures, they went to work and struck a deal with the tabloid, getting the story buried. In return for the tabloid's silence, Tiger appeared on the August 2007 cover of a sister publication, Men's Fitness, giving a rare interview where he gave tips on diet, exercise and weightlifting.

As far as Mindy knew, Tiger just dropped out of her life. Had Tiger's affair with Rachel Uchitel not been exposed, it is likely his trysts with Mindy would have never seen the light of day. It is unclear what has happened to the photos taken in the church parking lot.]

I'm guessing the church parking lot sex photos (never thought I'd be typing that) were given to Tiger in exchange for the blackmail-inspired story. That's usually how those things work, if I'm remembering "Basic Plots 101." How has Tiger's life suddenly turned into a Jackie Collins novel? The poor guy obviously need help. 

[Photo Credit: Mindy Lawton, the latest in Tiger's stable.]

The Tiger Tales Roundup

The Tiger Woods scandal is the gift that keeps on giving. Actually, he's been a little too generous - I can barely keep up! He's truly worn me out - as promised. It looks like he has no plans of stopping anytime soon. Another woman (the fourth so far, for those of you counting) came forward in the time it took me to see the chiropractor and return to my office. Details, via Bitten & Bound

[How many more will there be?  A fourth woman has come forward in the Tiger Woods affair scandal. Jamie Jungers, a 26-year-old from Las Vegas, is coming prepared and has already obtained a lawyer. Our friends at TMZ outed the latest mistress. Unlike the other women, this affair did not begin in Sin City but instead very near Tiger's home in Orlando.

When did the alleged trysts begin?  The young woman claims that she and Woods hooked up back in 2004 when she was twenty-years-old and they reportedly continued to see each other for another 2 years.

The former cocktail waitress, we're seeing a pattern here, has hired Michael O'Quinn as her lawyer. He plans to go public soon with his clients story. Note to Tiger: this is where you step in and offer her money for her silence.] 

Click here for pictures of the latest "lady" to step forward. Of course my favorite tale to come out of all this is "the crazy Ambien sex." I never realized sleeping pills were sexy! I've learned so much about infidelity, thanks to Mr. Woods! Details, via Radar Online

[Tiger Woods secret extramarital life continues to yield new scandals. Rachel Uchitel, the first woman publicly named as Tiger Woods' mistress, told friends that she did drugs with the golfing legend before they had sex, is reporting exclusively.

That's the second too-close drug mention for one of America's perceived squeaky clean sports idols. reported exclusively Thursday that another of Tiger's women, Jaimee Grubbs worked at a medical marijuana "pharmacy" at least until a month ago.

Now we've learned that Uchitel told friends that she and Tiger liked to have sex while taking the drug Ambien. Uchitel told one pal, 'You know you have crazier sex on Ambien - you get into that Ambien haze. We have crazy Ambien sex.'" Ambien is a sedative used for short-term treatment of insomnia. Many people claim it enhances sexual experience dramatically immediately after ingesting it.

Uchitel told several friends that she and Tiger had Ambien sex. She at first vehemently denied an affair with Tiger when the National Enquirer broke the story. After Tiger's wild ride early-morning crash, Uchitel continued to deny the story and then decided to tell the truth.

She hired power attorney Gloria Allred who scheduled a news conference for Thursday, but then abruptly canceled it. reported exclusively that Tiger's reps were in contact with Uchitel's team the night before the news conference and a $1 million deal that would ensure her silence was discussed.]

Here's the infamous fart video again. I felt bad when I put it up the first time around - now I think he deserves this, and more.

This Is Getting Ridiculous!

Demi Moore whores out self, husband and daughter to shill her perfume for the holidays the only way she knows how - via Twitter. Demi and Ashton Kutcher took to their favorite public platform in what looked a glimpse into their private life - but really turned about to be an ad for Moore's perfume, Wanted. Is anyone else creeped out by the fact that Demi's youngest daughter is hanging around while her mother and stepfather gear up for a race to the bedroom? That's not something I want to find under my tree! 

Trapped - For The Holidays And For Life

Thumbnail image for amy-adams-bbq-bikini.jpgRed-headed cutie Amy Adams is pregnant with her first child. The father? Her longtime boyfriend, Darren Le Gallo. The problem? I don't think Amy is that into him. The couple met in 2001 and have been engaged for several years - but Adams has yet to move forward with plans for the wedding - like, at all. Details, via Celebrity Mania

[Amy Adams, who stars as aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart on "Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian", reveals she won't get married with her fiance Darren Le Gallo in near future. Insisting that she currently is trying to focus on her career, the 34-year-old beauty says she has not planned anything for the nuptials. "It is not, I'm working too hard," she said during the world premiere of "Night of the Museum 2" in London last week. Though she hasn't thought about getting married, Amy hopes to hold a small wedding ceremony, saying "[I want it to be] low key. It just suits our personalities as a couple more."]

Need more? Details, via Allure Magazine

["I think Darren was patient for the first nine months, but now that we have been engaged for a year, he's sort of, you know 'This is going to happen, right?'  He understands I'm busy, but he's ready. He's much more ready for kids and stuff than I am."]

The former Gap employee doesn't sound too sure about her choice to wed. Will a baby turn the tide?

[Photo Credit: I love this picture - it looks like that dog is sneaking up to make a meal of her calve.]

Unfounded... And Hilarious

brangelina-book-cover.jpgThere's December 25th when a fat guy comes down my chimney - and there's December 25th when I get to open Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I can't decide which one I'm more excited about - all I know is drinks will be involved either way. This tell-all is looking to be dirtier than dumpster diving - and I can't wait! Details compiled by Showbiz Spy

[Jennifer Aniston ended up in tears following a confrontation with Angelina Jolie - according to author Ian Halperin. Halperin - whose new book, Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, hit stores earlier this week - claims the Hollywood stars had a heated row over Brad Pitt at a deserted Hollywood restaurant after Pitt and Aniston's 2005 divorce. "Jen was upset and shouted at Angelina. There was an altercation, it got pretty heated. It reduced Jen to tears," said the scribe. Halperin said he learned of the secret meeting between Jennifer and and her arch rival from an ex-Jolie associate.

Halperin also alleges that before meeting Pitt, the Tomb Raider star had set her sights on two other married men: "She said she wanted to go after either Bill Clinton or Johnny Depp." It has previously been claimed that Jolie made up a bunch of false rumors about Aniston not wanting to have children -- so she didn't look like a "bitch" for stealing the former Friends star's husband.]

Oh man, how much money would you pay to see Angelina try to steal Bill Clinton from Hillary? Good old H.C. wouldn't slink off into the sunset, that's for sure. As for Johnny Depp's lovely wife, Vanessa - I hope you've enjoyed your time with Mr. Depp. Sounds like it's almost up. Apparently no one can resist Angelina pussy. I'm surprised Bill was able to abstain. Hillary must have had him on a diet that week.

[Book Cover Credit]

Well, These Are The Detail I've Been Craving

Wow, every other Tuesday I usually book a mani/pedi. Looks like Scheana Marie Jancan had a booking of another kind! I'm feeling kind of ripped off right now - my beautician doesn't have a penis. What am I talking about? Well, we've had quite enough information from the Tiger Woods camp lately. I thought perhaps we'd revisit where Eddie Cibrian has been. I know you've been waiting! Details, via x17online

[She told Access Hollywood that "It started as an every other Tuesday thing. He would come to my work, we'd go get drinks and after, hang out at my house." She said, "It went on for about six months and then [my] mom calls me one day and she's like, 'So that guy Eddie that you've been hanging out with... I just picked up the morning [paper] and it says that him and his wife Brandi of like, I don't know five years at the time, are expecting their second child.'"

Whoops! But did Marie cut it off there? For a few months, she says, until they ran into each other again and he told her he was separating from his wife. "I just wanted to believe what he was saying," she said. "I was just kind of like, 'Don't ask, don't tell.'"

That is, until she saw the video of Eddie having a romantic dinner date with LeAnn! "I'm like, 'Seriously?'," she said. "Like I was just with you two weeks ago, and I mean you can't deny pictures, you can't deny a video." But Scheana didn't have any grand illusions that Eddie would be faithful to her as his one and only mistress. "I mean, he cheated with me - he would cheat on me," she said.]

Well, Scheana congratulations. You sound absolutely brilliant. If you're looking for a new conquest, I'm guessing Tiger Woods will be free soon... Enjoy the video above, for old time's sake!

Squeeze Them Like A Sponge

Thumbnail image for new-moon-poster.jpgRobert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner have got studio heads over a barrel - and they know it. Time to pull a Friend's style salary negotiation - i.e. banning together for the big bucks! Details, via Showbiz Spy

[Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner are hoping to squeeze as much money as they can out of the Twilight franchise. And who can blame them? According to a report in the Chicago Sun-Times newspaper, the trio have joined forces to negotiate contracts for what may be two films based on the Breaking Dawn novel in author Stephenie Meyer's vampire saga. Based on the box office success of Twilight and New Moon and the likely success of Eclipse, Pattinson, Stewart and Lautner will reportedly be able to demand paychecks well into eight figures for the next two films.]

Take the money and run! For someone as cranky as Kristen Stewart it might be tough to get another job! Naw, I'm sure all of those kids have long careers ahead of them - but the financial security must be awesome. Just think it Robert and Kristen got married - blood and money mix so well.

Dear God, I Would Like To Be An Actress

eva-longoria-parker-main-wikipedia.jpgEva Longoria-Parker was lead to Los Angeles, courtesy of God. I'm glad God had time to guide a C-list actress into our homes. Glory, be! Details, courtesy of Crazy Days & Nights

[I didn't realize God was such a fan of Desperate Housewives and really bad movies, but I was wrong. In an interview with Bang Showbiz, Eva Longoria said that she never wanted to become an actress and never thought about it until one day she felt like God told her to move to Los Angeles and become an actress. Really?

"It was this special force pushing me to come to Los Angeles and I said, 'OK, I'm not going to fight it.' But I always felt very protected. And I felt like this was the place I was meant to be."

Whether you believe in God or a higher power or whatever, I just really don't think God told Eva Longoria to come to LA and be an actress. For what purpose? For the greater good of man? To give ABC a boost to their Sunday night ratings? To give the people who sell DVD's a bunch of straight to DVD options?]

I would like to be next in line for some holy career advice. I'm not sure if kneeling in front of my computer with saltines and a glass of wine will do the trick, but I'll let you know!

Taylor Swift Plays With Crabs

What a difference a post makes! Contrast and compare Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift in bikinis - because it's Friday. Taylor is destine to do great things, while Miley is destine to do Playboy

Miley Cyrus And The Tit Tattoo

miley-cyrus-pink-bikini-tattoo.jpgNope, not the name of her next hit song! Miley Cyrus recently revealed a rather skimpy hot pink bikini while in Miami - along with a surprise under-the-tit tat. Tit for tat - yes, I had to go there! Miley only recently turned seventeen and that ink looks like it's already been around for awhile. This evidence begs the question: when and where did she have this done? She's not old enough to get a tat without permission from a parent, in case you didn't pick up on that! It's so exciting to see another budding Lindsay Lohan - I think we may completely exhaust the original soon. Anyone care to hazard a guess as to what cursive script "Just Breathe" means? Looks like Miley is betting on getting people pretty excited in the near future!

[Photo Credit: Nice padding. Can't wait for the breast implants!]

The Public Tiff

Thumbnail image for lamar-odom-khloe-kardashian-kitson-event.jpgAren't all tiffs public when you're filming 24-7 for a reality show? If so, Khloe Kardashian and her new hubby Lamar Odom are doing a great job! Details, via Perez Hilton

[Insiders are reporting that Khloe Kardashian and her now legally bound hubby, Lamar Odom, had a huge blowout on Wednesday night at an El Lay restaurant.

A witness reveals: "Lamar caused a huge scene. He got jealous because Khloe was texting at the table and he yelled at her to quit it. She refused, so he stormed off and sat alone at the bar. Khloe just ignored him... He went and sat at the bar and watched TV by himself." Khloe was with her best friend [Malika Hagg] and the poor girl was totally stuck in the middle. The source reveals that there was no "kiss and make up" moment for the young couple.

And after some failed attempts to reconcile them by Khloe's BF, Lamar left in a huff without ever speaking to Khloe. Adds the source, "Everyone thought Lamar had left but then he pulled around front in his SUV and the girls went out and jumped in.]

Well, at least he remembered to pick up his wife before leaving the set situation! It's baby steps to introducing progeny for profit and $2 hookers to relieve the stress. That's season six of Keeping Up With The Kardashians

[Photo Credit]

Warming My Heart - True Love And A Ton Of Cash

tiger woods and elin.jpgNothing says "true love" like a $20 million signing bonus - and nothing says "I'm sorry" like adding another $20 million to the pot. That's the alleged deal between Tiger Woods and his humiliated wife Elin. Details of the dealy-o, via Snarkerati

[It has been reported that Tiger Woods is revising his prenuptial agreement to give his wife, Elin, a ton of money if she promised to stay married to him. The first prenup stated that if they were to stay together for ten years, he would give her $20 million. Now, it's being rumored that they have shortened the original prenup to seven years from the date they got married. So she would have to stay with him for another two years to get a whopping $40 million. For Elin to collect the $80 million prize, she would need to stay with Tiger for another seven years. In addition to that, she would need to fulfill her duties as a loving, devoted wife, attending his events, being the trophy wife.]

Is $40 million the going rate for self-esteem? Is the marital finagling really worth it at this point? Everyone now knows that their marriage is a scam. I'm assuming Tiger believes Elin may potentially earn a bigger buyout if they were to divorce - or that a sullied split may harm his lucrative endorsement deals. Woods should get together with Lindsay Lohan - that would be the ultimate merger! I think they were recently spotted together at a club, engaged in a raw tongue wrestling match. Oh wait, that was Cash Warren - and we've since learned that incident didn't even take place. Lohan, I can't keep up with you! As for Elin - one man's trash is another man's treasure. She'd have a line out the door of men vying for her attention!

[Photo Credit]

Hmm, What Is She Implying?

I love Lainey Gossip - that girl has got the goods. Today I stumbled across a post of hers regarding George Clooney and his lovely girlfriend, Elisbetta Canalis. Is their relationship one of convenience as awards (read: Oscar) season approaches? Clooney's latest flick, Up In The Air, is said to have "multiple nominations" written all over it. Could Canalis help wrap that up for her generous beau? Details, via Lainey Gossip:

[Yesterday Elisabetta Canalis went shopping in Hollywood with a friend, enjoying her stay in Los Angeles on George Clooney's dime. He needs her more than ever now. And she has worked for him so far.
Clooney was named today by the National Board of Review as this year's Best Actor putting him back in the lead temporarily in the Oscar race. But we have 4 months to go. Never want to peak too early. This is why he's been largely low key these days, making sure to avoid oversaturation, and at the same time, subtly suggesting to the MiniVan that he may have found The One. You laugh, me too. But deep down every MiniVan Majority member wants to believe that George Clooney is capable of a conventional life. Heh.
So what will we hear about Ely in the coming months? Oh it will be all white and washed for sure. She'll be careful about what she wears, she'll make sure it's sexy but not tarty, she's going to "refined" now and burying those old skin shots. People Magazine will print some sh-t about what she cooks for dinner or how her poetry won his heart. People Magazine will probably not post the videos below. Ely's beginning in Italian entertainment that will likely be ignored by the mainstream. SO amazingly cheesy as a variety show dancer.]

Well, we've got to enjoy that video before it gets buried - I'm sure you're all aware of my fondness for cheese! I would never want to navigate the choppy waters of Hollywood - all that scheming makes my head spin. The endless machinations seem like such a game - albeit a well thought out dalliance of real-life chess. Not a concern for George Clooney - looks like he's a pro! 

The Ass Master!

Ass, Gas Or Grass - No One Rides For Free!

jessica-alba-cash-warren-hand-holding.jpgThe Lindsay Lohan/Cash Warren kissing rumors are starting to pick up steam - just as we knew they would! Breaking details, courtesy of Us Magazine

[There were barely any celebrities at West Hollywood hotspot Villa the night of November 19 -- which might be why Lindsay Lohan and Cash Warren immediately gravitated towards one another.

Film producer Warren, 30, was partying without Jessica Alba, his wife of one and half years and mom to his daughter Honor, 18 months. "When he goes out with friends, he gets into trouble," a pal says of Alba's husband. Indeed. Soon after discovering one another at Villa, Warren and Lohan "ignored friends and just chatted." The real trouble began half an hour in. "Lindsay and Cash started making out," an onlooker tells Us. "Lip on tongue," the eyewitness continues, "It was raw. They were not shy!" Another Villa patron that night gasped, "It was a shock to see the two of them kiss, but it was real."

For her part, Lohan tells Us that the account is "absurd. He is married. I wouldn't dare kiss him." But pals of both Lohan and Warren -- who share a love of nightlife -- insist otherwise. Those close to Warren and Alba worry that their marriage is already on shaky footing. "Jessica is not as into Cash as she used to be," one source says. And the ever-fragile Lohan "becomes easily attached to everyone she meets and gets close to," one friend says. Adds another: "she's falling for [Cash]."]

"Barely any celebrities?" Shouldn't that read barely any people? For Cash (or Lindsay, at this point) to be considered a celebrity is really stretching it. How about two horn-dogs who wanted to get their rocks off gravitating towards each other? Now that I would buy! Jessica Alba's husband has never struck me as the greatest guy - and the theory that she "accidently" got pregnant to force his hand in marriage doesn't seem out of the realm. I don't think he's all that into her, so a dirty hookup at a club with a well-known party gal doesn't surprise me.

[Photo Credit: Jessica Alba and Cash Warren - before Lindsay Lohan's tongue entered the equation.]

[UPDATE: Thanks to a helpful reader for the X17 link, alerting us to the debunked theory that Lindsay and Cash hooked up. Everyone loves to give Lindsay a hard - this time it just happens not to be Mr. Warren!]

In An Effort To Keep Things Fair

kardashian-sisters-in-lingerie.jpgJust to even things out after PLP's previous man-cheating scorecard, I thought I'd post the female equivalent. This is the Kardashian ode to "I'll do anything, to anyone, at anytime - as long as it feels good." And if it increases your "Q" rating it's all the better, right girls? The Kardashian sisters kontinue to klash in their quest for fame. The Kim, Khloe and Kourtney steamroller, combined with the recent Nicole Richie news, still leads me to question why my television is so pissed at me. I've apologized, but it still seems to be acting out some passive-aggressive grudge match. Perhaps it was all the Rock of Love I used to watch...

[Photo Credit: Pregnant women are beautiful, but now would be a really good time to stay fully clothed.]

Fergie's Drunken Tears

fergie-main-dark-hair-wikipedia.jpgI know it's difficult to keep up with all the cheating scandals so close to the holidays, but I'll do my best to help keep the wandering-dick tally up to date. In the face of the epic Tiger Woods tales, it's easy to forget about the naughtiness of Josh Duhamel (alleged fling with a stripper), Chris Martin (alleged affair with Kate Bosworth), Eddie Cibrian (he'll cheat on his ex-wife, but resents allegations that he cheated on LeAnn Rimes) and Cash Warren (an alleged make-out session with Lindsay Lohan). Fergie, sweetheart, you are not alone! Clearly this revelation has not made her feel any better - rumor has it that she's been hitting the bottle to dull the pain with her Nine cast-mate, Kate Hudson. Details, via The National Enquirer

[Black Eyed Peas sweetie Fergie boo-hoos on Kate Hudson's shoulder about cheating hubby Josh and then drinks the night away!
Fergie shared drinks with Kate Hudson and cried on her shoulder over her husband Josh Duhamel's cheating - and then had to be helped to her car!

The two lovelies - co-stars in the upcoming musical Nine - arrived together at the Hollywood hotspot Katsuya after both appeared at the American Music Awards on Nov. 22, The ENQUIRER has learned. Transformers star Josh was filming out of town, but Kate's boyfriend, New York Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez, joined them later, according to sources.

"Fergie definitely was drowning her sorrows that night. She poured out her heart to Kate over how hurt she was over Josh's affair," an eyewitness told The ENQUIRER.
"Kate listened patiently and let Fergie vent. Later she told Alex, 'I just feel so bad for the poor thing. She's been through so much.'"

Fergie has told friends that the couple - who have been wed less than a year - agreed to move past the cheating scandal because they still love each other and want to try for a baby. "But that's easier said than done. Fergie is clearly struggling to forgive Josh," added the source.
"And each time Alex and Kate kissed or even touched, Fergie took another sip of her drink. By the end of the night, she needed her bodyguard to help walk her out to the SUV."

Another source added: "After Fergie was helped out to the SUV, Alex and Kate joined her. She's definitely an emotional wreck right now."]

I would be a wreck too - and probably not as forgiving. I don't know what's in the L.A. water. Perhaps it's Hugh Hefner's viagra - I wouldn't be surprised if the Girls Next Door were dumping his pills down the drain and substituting them with a placebo. Not that they'd be able to figure out that option!

Finally, Someone Who Will Take The Blame!

Finally an explanation in the world of Tiger Woods! Ever wonder how Tiger landed Elin? Well, he had a little help. Details, courtesy of Bitten & Bound

[Swedish golfer Jesper Parnevik has decided to weigh in on the Tiger Woods affair scandal and with good reason. It turns our he is the one who introduced Elin Nordegren to the PGA phenom back in 2000, when she and her twin sister Josefin Nordegren were both employed by his family as nannies to the Parnevik children. The 44-year-old Swede and his wife Mia Parnevik hired the Nordegren sisters to serve as au pairs for their three offspring. He has now come forward with an irate response to Woods' current situation. (See video above.) Reporters caught up with Parnevik on Wednesday at Bear Lakes Country Club where he had just finished up the first-round play at a PGA Tour final-stage qualifier. He offered up the following advice for Tiger: "Maybe not just do it, like Nike says."]

If only Woods had received that clever advice earlier, we wouldn't be having so much fun today. I've got another quip for Tiger - how about, "You play, you pay." 

I Hope I'm On Gwyneth Paltrow's Christmas List

monogramShop.jpgOh, Gwyneth! Girlfriend just can't control herself. Yes boys and girls - it's another extremely pretentious edition of the GOOP newsletter. This week features clever gifts you can give to friends and family. But wait, there's a twist - the items are personalized, y'all! Nothing says "thoughtful" like a monogramed tote bag. Here is my favorite Paltrow endorsed suggestion:

[The folks at The Monogram Shop in the Hamptons, live by the tenet that anything and everything can be personalized. Kleenex boxes, even! These animal cutting boards go for $55. Ordinary objects become extraordinary gifts with the addition of a few initials.]

Extraordinary! A cutting board, shaped like a pig, with the word "pig" on it - absolutely divine. Setting the bar high, per usual. Now, what was that about husband Chris Martin's rumored affair? I can't believe he'd want to leave all this!

Rachel Bilson Gets Nekked

Video NSFW, due to some fucking language. Seriously. OMG - this made my day! A hilarious sex scene body-double spoof that showcases an absolutely brilliant Adam Scott. One of the top Funny or Die videos - and a convenient glimpse into what Hayden Christensen gets at home. Sexy! When are those wedding bells, you two? It's been almost a year since Rachel Bilson (featured above) and Hayden announced their engagement. I'm waiting!

This Tiger Woods Story Continues To Blow Up

Holy hell, I can't even keep track of this Tiger Woods story anymore. It's gone nuclear within a matter of days. The good news for Tiger is that there will be no criminal charges filed for his one-car accident; nor any further police followup on his alleged domestic matters. The bad news is that the cat (or the pussy, in the case) is out of the bag on his philandering ways. It has now been revealed that Tiger has taken on multiple mistresses over several years, and there's most likely more skeletons ready to pop out of his closet at any moment. Go to What Would Tyler Durden Do? for a humorous take on details of outrageous Woods news. Click here for a photo gallery of Tiger's extramarital ass, broken down lady by lady. I think the confusion for everyone in this story is the question of Elin, Tiger's beautiful wife. Is there any reason to step out on this

Courtney Love Crawls On DJ Qualls

courtney-love-dj-qualls-side-separate-pics.jpgCourtney Love grabbed herself an early Christmas present - some new man meat! The voracious crazy must have trouble nabbing dates - anyone who's had access to any kind of media within the past decade knows what a nutcase Love is reputed to be. Then again, DJ Qualls looks to be all of ninety pounds - all Courtney had to do was wave a shot of tequila in front of him and it was probably on. Details, courtesy of Allie Is Wired and Page Six

[It is WAY too early in the morning to be envisioning the Empress of Coke and Skeletor's protégé making sexy times. Alas, here we are on a Monday morning recovering from a justified vodka-palooza filled weekend and Love has got herself some fresh blood. Courtney Love sunk her raptor claws into DJ Qualls. Who? You say? Don't worry, I had to Google the boy too. DJ is the manorexic from "Road Trip" and "The New Guy."

She partied at 1Oak with her band-mates. As Nirvana tracks played on the sound system, Love started making out with Qualls in front of astonished onlookers. In true Courtney style, she then dragged Qualls -- a close pal of "Twilight" actress Nikki Reed -- off to Scores until the early hours of Thanksgiving morning.

A source said, "Courtney was partying at 1Oak with her band and Qualls, who was on the next table, introduced himself. They hit it off and ended up talking very closely and making out. She was all over him. Courtney then dragged him and her band to Scores." A source at the famous jiggle joint said Courtney, Qualls and her bandmates stayed until closing, stumbling out at 4 a.m.]

I love the "Nirvana tracks played on the sound system" detail - as if Love even remembers who Kurt Cobain is at this point. She's probably like, "I love this music. What is it?" As for Qualls, let's not forget DJ's excellent work in "Hustle & Flow." It's hard out there for a pimp - and no one busts balls harder on the pimp action than Courtney Love. Treat him nice Court, you only get one shot at the poor woman's version of Edward Norton!

[Photo Credit]

We're Back In Love, Thanks To John Mayer!

Thumbnail image for lindsay-lohan-with-shot.jpgJohn Mayer takes the cake - and the award for Most Annoying Celebrity of 2009. Okay, I don't know about most annoying - but he's definitely up in the top ten. This week finds Mayer sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. Hey, at least it's his nose this time and not his penis! Details, via Celebitchy

[The first version of this story was "John Mayer is probably nailing Lindsay Lohan". But in later versions, the story changed. Since I like the first version, I'll bring you that one as a starter. Apparently, John Mayer and Lindsay Lohan were hanging out a few night ago, and E! claims Lindsay's "sights" were set on Mayer. Her "sights" being "her cracked out glassy eyes". E! has a source who claimed: "She would follow his every move. He would dance with the waitresses and then come back. She was way into it." After their night of dancing and drinking and flirting, Lohan crack tweeted: "@johncmayer shhhhhhhhhhhhhh butter-face J". Yeah. I don't know what it means either.

Anyhoodle, later versions of this story are still spinning. Actually, I don't know if these stories are from the same night, or if Mayer and Lohan hung out several nights in a row or what. But now sources are claiming that Mayer has reunited Samantha Ronson and Lohan. Because that's what douches do. They reunite mentally unstable drug addicts with their enablers, and expect to be called a "good guy".]

More details of the evening, courtesy of Celebitchy and via Gatecrasher

[Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson may be getting back together - with the help of an unlikely friend. John Mayer was spotted playing relationship counselor to the exes when they ran into each other at NYC hot spot Butter on Monday night. And Mayer may have worked a miracle.

"Lindsay and Sam didn't arrive together," says a partygoer. "Lindsay walked in, and the two said a quick hello, but then Linds went to the table where John was sitting." According to the source, Sam eventually came over to the table but sat far away on the opposite side - much to LiLo's dismay.

"Lindsay looked upset that Sam hadn't come over to her, and she started whispering to John, who looked like he was trying to calm her down," says the snitch. "She looked pretty angry. Then John got up and went to talk to Sam."

We're not sure what he crooned to the famed deejay, but it must have been pretty convincing: Ronson got up with Mayer and went over to La Lohan just a few minutes later. The source notes that after Mayer's intervention, the tumultuous twosome spent much of the night talking and laughing. La Lohan even ended the evening looking content - and (dare we say it?) stable.

"Lindsay seemed happier than she has in ages," the spy says. "Sam eventually got up and deejayed for a while, and Lindsay kept standing up and looking over to the deejay booth, smiling." In between watching Ronson, Lohan hung out with the likes of movie critic Ben Lyons and singer/songwriter Blake Ian.

Mayer, having done his good deed for the week, ducked out before Linds and Sam did - but not without a hug from LiLo and a more-than-friendly goodbye from a scantily clad blond. "Lindsay and Sam both stayed past 3," the partygoer says. "They didn't leave together, but they definitely ended the night on good terms."]

But wait! Does the alleged Mayer-inspired reunion with Sam mean there's no credence to the breaking story that Lindsay was seen kissing Jessica Alba's husband, Cash Warren? Oh, what a tangled web she's weaved - and not just that mess she calls hair! Stay tuned for all things Lohan...

[Photo Credit: Cheers, everybody!]

An Artist Whose Canvas Is Murder!

Just a quick follow-up to James Franco's guest stint on General Hospital, because it's brilliant. The above video is the promo for his debut, but there are loads more clips available on YouTube. I chose this one because of the hilarious sentence, "An artist whose canvas is murder." Whomever came up with that should be given a huge raise! Most theories continue to assert that Franco's appearance is in relation to research for a film role, though it's yet to be officially linked with any other project. Is it mere coincidence that his first day on GH, November 20th, landed on the same date that Twilight: New Moon hit theaters? James is the vampire phenomenon of the soap operas! I can't wait to find out the mystery motives behind Franco's interesting career move...

Mila Kunis Is Hot, Hot, Hot!

mila-kunis-black-book.jpgIt's finally Mila Kunis's time in the spotlight - and it's about damn time! She's recently been taking on more projects and she seems to shine brighter in each one. Needless to say, Mila has come a long way from providing the voice of Meg on Family Guy - not that we didn't love her for it. Here's a brief excerpt from her upcoming Black Book interview, to give you a little insight into the That '70s Show alum: 

[Yes, she knows exactly what you think of her. But check your skepticism at the door, folks, because with three new movies in the can--apocalyptic thriller The Book of Eli, ensemble comedy Date Night, and later, ballet drama Black Swan--Mila Kunis is here to prove she's got what it takes to be a star. We explore why the underestimated actress is finally getting the respect she deserves--and how she intends to keep it. 

I first met Mila Kunis nearly 10 years ago on the set of the generic teen comedy. We were fake high school classmates in a fake high school. She and co-star Kirsten Dunst were inseparable and I was an invisible extra. There were husky crew members on hand to remind us of the prevailing social order: extras were not to fraternize with movie stars. It was just like high school, actually. When Dunst once caught me gawking, she pantomimed one of those rickety movie cameras you crank during a game of charades and, in a voice reserved for children, said mockingly, "We're making a movie!" Kunis, still just the cute one from That '70s Show, stood next to her more established co-star and giggled.

With the words "Get Over It" barely out of my mouth, she covers hers and lets out a lengthy squeal: "I haven't seen that movie in years!" And indeed, that Mila Kunis, an embryonic TV star whose career was still in question, was an entirely different person than the one sitting in front of me, the one set to co-star in Denzel Washington's next film, The Book of Eli...

Then came Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the movie that upended everything we thought we knew about Kunis' talent. Yet another offering from the Judd Apatow Institute of Comedic Learning, this one about a heartbroken sap's romantic recovery, Sarah Marshall co-starred a laundry list of likeable comedians, including Jason Segel, Jonah Hill, Bill Hader, Jack McBrayer and Russell Brand. And yet, in scene after scene, it's Kunis, as the hotel clerk Rachel, who steals the show. Grounded, funny, appealing and gorgeous, she was a revelation. Who knew she had it in her? When the final credits rolled, audiences found themselves entertaining a thought they would have laughed away two hours earlier: Mila Kunis is going to be a movie star.]

Click here to read the interview in it's entirety. Mila has been linked to fellow former child star Macaulay Culkin for years. Needless to say, the Home Alone star knows the Hollywood ropes. I'm sure he'll be a supportive partner as Kunis continues her ascendency. I know I'll be rooting for them... Click here to view more pictures of the beautiful Mila. Click here for info on a certain make-out session with Natalie Portman - for a movie, you pervs! 

[Black Book Photo Credit: Photography by David Roemer. Styling by Anda & Masha.]

Did Anyone Think Hayden Panettiere Wouldn't Act Like A Vindictive Bitch?

Thumbnail image for hayden-milo-holding-hands.jpgPlease raise your hand if you think Hayden Panettiere wouldn't act like a vindictive bitch after being dumped. I think I see one arm, waving waaay in the back. Hayden used to top my list of cuties - but as her entitled attitude grows, my interest wanes. Confidence is a turn-on, snobbery is not. Unfortunately, Panettiere is guilty of the latter. Only one thing has briefly put her in her place - her split with Heroes costar and former boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia. Wanna know what happens when a princess gets the boot? Details, via Celebitchy

[Hayden Panettiere, who claims that she's not like the rest of us and thinks that the public wants to "destroy" celebrities, is continuing to give her ex boyfriend, Milo Ventimiglia, a hard time on the set of their show Heroes. Hayden and Milo split way back in February, and there were reports in March that she was trying to get him kicked off the show and refused to be around him on set. That's understandable a month after a breakup, but it's been nearly 10 months and Hayden still hasn't found a way to exist peacefully at work with her ex. Her fat paycheck and Heroes' low ratings don't seem to be motivating her either. The National Enquirer reports that Milo is trying to be nice to Hayden on set but that she's not having it and is giving him dirty looks, treating him like crap and talking smack about him to the producers.]

Do you want more? We've got more, courtesy of Celebitchy - via The National Enquirer:   

["Haydens... never been dumped before, and when they resumed shooting the new season, she began taking out her hostilities on Milo," said the insider. "She's been bad-mouthing Milo behind the scenes to the producers. She gripes about doing scenes with him and flashes him dirty looks when they are not shooting... Milo hoped they could maintain a professional relationship..."

When Milo tried to smooth things over with Hayden, "she acted like she didn't know what he was talking about," the source said. "Hayden told Milo 'Will you please get over yourself! Your ego is getting in the way of my acting!'"]

"Your ego is getting in the way of my acting!" Well, that line just earned a place in my heart. I'll think of it whenever I need a good laugh. Funny, I thought Hayden would own a mirror - it sounds like she needs to say that sentence again while looking in one...

[Photo Credit: Happier days for Hayden and Milo. You know, before he dumped her. To be fair, Milo does share some responsibility here. He's old enough to have heard the phrase, "Don't shit where you eat."]

Like I Said

Thumbnail image for jude-law-sienna-miller-formal-couple.jpgHorndogs, (re)unite! It has been confirmed that Jude Law and Sienna Miller are indeed back on. Where there's a welcoming vagina, there is a Law. Details of their Thanksgiving reunion, via Star Magazine

[Turkey wasn't on the menu for Jude Law and Sienna Miller during their dinner date on Thanksgiving -- but pizza and PDA were! The Brits, who are both living in Manhattan while appearing in roles on Broadway, celebrated the American holiday together at the Italian restaurant Emporio in the Nolita section of New York City.

Arriving just after midnight on Thursday, Jude and Sienna -- who are starring in Hamlet and After Miss Julie, respectively --  took a table, where they ordered pizza -- and a $350 bottle of wine. "They were offered a private table in the back, but Jude and Sienna turned it down," an insider tells Star. "They had no problem flaunting their love right in the middle of the restaurant. They definitely looked like they were head-over-heels for each other."

Although their reps denied recent reports that they'd reconciled, the couple -- who broke off their engagement in 2006 following his cheating scandal with his kids' nanny -- didn't skimp on public displays of affection. "They came in holding hands and kept touching each other and kissing throughout the entire meal," says the insider. "They only had eyes for each other!" Jude picked up the check -- leaving $100 tip -- and they left together in the same car.]

Turkey may not have been on the menu - but the wishbone certainly was! Deny it all you want, but these two are definitely back on. I hope Sienna stocked up on costumes - perhaps she can trick him into thinking he's with a different lady every night. She is an actress!

[Photo Credit]

Nicole Richie Lands Own Television Show. What Did I Ever Do To You, T.V.?

Thumbnail image for nicole-richie-dancing.jpgGeez t.v., I ignore you for a couple of days and you turn on me. I always suspected you were a fickle bitch. Nicole Richie, celebutante turned celebrated mother of two, has landed her own show. I didn't know being a former coke-whore with a record qualified a person as an actor. Oh wait, I think I just described half of Hollywood. Details, via the beloved Evil Beet

[Nicole Richie has announced that she's signed a deal with ABC to star in and produce a 30-minute comedy series.  Nicole, once mostly famous for her Hollywood connections, has more recently made a name for herself with her House of Harlow 1960 accessories line.  She also authored a book which was to be made into a television series and now, she's adding acting -beyond the occasional guest appearance -- to her repertoire.

The show is being written by 30 Rock's Daisy Gardner -- anything 30 Rock-related shows promise -- and features a plot that, in the words of Nicole, "revolves around a young, modern and professional woman who must balance her business and family relationships. She must deal with, and navigate the many ideas of what a woman's role is: modern vs. traditional."]

Yeah, I forgot to mention that it's not your run-of-the-mill reality show or a program on the CW. It's on freakin' ABC with 30 Rock cred. Holy hell. The lesson here is clear - get away from Paris Hilton and good things will come. 

[Photo Credit: I'd be celebrating too!]

Matthew Broderick Walks The Road Most Traveled

Matthew Broderick transfers his real life role as Sarah Jessica Parker's beleaguered husband to the big screen - with typical results. Downtrodden man travels the road to redemption, finding love and learning lessons along the way? Check, check and check. All we need are the Christmas bells tolling in the background for a smooth transition from "Wonderful Life" to "It's A Wonderful Life." A few details, via First Showing

[I don't know how Matthew Broderick lost all of his star power, but he's showing up in a lot of new indies recently. I still love the guy, but it's a little odd seeing him in so many of these. Apple recently debuted the trailer for Joshua Goldin's Wonderful World starring Matthew Broderick, Jodelle Ferland, and Michael K. Williams. It looks like a combination of The Visitor and Brothers, where an apathetic guy gets a taste of culture from a new housemate and starts to fall in love with her, too. It doesn't look bad, but it doesn't look that great either. I may check it out, because I like Broderick, but I'm not sure.]

The movie was filmed in 2007 and will be released in early 2010. The timeline helps explain the absence of some of Broderick's aged looks. I don't know what SJP is feeding him, or if he's existing on a diet of whiskey, but it's starting to show. Meanwhile, there's been hide nor hair of the twins Broderick and Parker gained via a controversial surrogate - and an official split announcement has yet to surface...

FYI: New Moon Was Never Going To Be Up For An Oscar

Thumbnail image for new-moon-poster-official-405x600.jpgHere's some breaking news - Twilight: New Moon has not only been ravaged by critics, it also has some serious technical and continuity flaws! Holy shit, I hope you were sitting down for that one. Details, via Bunny With Fangs!

[Any serious fan of any movie can always seem to find flaws in the flick. Well, apparently there's lots of them in New Moon and the fans are pissed. Here's just a few...

When Jacob first shows off his tattoo, it is up at the top of his shoulder. Then when he is in the forest at the end with Bella and Edward, his tattoo is about 2 inches further down his arm.

When Bella is flying to Italy they show a Virgin America airplane. Virgin America only flies within certain cities in the US. Virgin Atlantic flies from the US to Europe.

Just as Jacob enters Bella's room through the window, a stunt prop - white band on his right wrist - is briefly visible.

In the montage scenes where we see Bella's depression, when the camera is circling her, the camera man is shown in the mirror (twice) behind her.

The rims of the vampires contacts can be spotted occasionally during the film, especially the Volturi's during the ending scenes -- e.g., Jane's in the elevator.

In the main title when the giant new moon appears on the screen the shadow fades over the moon from right to left when it should actually fade from left to right. The moon travels around the earth clockwise. The waning moon should turn to a new moon, not the waxing which is shown.

Continuity: Right before Jacob comes through Bella's window, it shows her sleeping and "dreaming" of Victoria coming to get her. If you look, the camera really focuses on the dreamcatcher and how it's hanging above her on the bedpost. It is hanging off to the side of the middle hump. Immediately, Jacob comes through her window and focuses in on the dreamcatcher hanging on the bedpost which is now neatly hanging in a completely different way, perfectly laid over the center of the bedpost.

Continuity: After Bella awakes from the first nightmare, we see her Romeo and Juliet book on the pillow beside her. When Charlie brings in her presents the book is gone, but then reappears on the pillow between shots.

Continuity: When Alice jumps over the staircase in school to wish Bella happy birthday, between shots during the scene the positioning of the decorated scarf around her neck varies.

Visible crew/equipment: In the very last scene, right before the ultimatum, if you look into the tail lights on Edward's car you can see various members of the crew reflected.

Continuity: When Mike and Jacob are standing outside the cinema waiting for Bella, between shots the Burger King takeaway bag sitting on the trashcan next to them changes position]

Does any remember that the cast and crew had mere months between movie shoots? The studio is pumping this out for profit you, the least you could do is give them a break!

[Movie Poster Credit]

I Predicted That The Author Would Predict The Split

brangelina-book-cover.jpgIt's magic! I'm not saying I'm psychic or anything, but when it comes to stating the obvious I'm totally gifted. Same could be said for Ian Halprin - the author of the sure to be slanderous fabulous Brangelina has predicted that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will split.... within the next fifteen to eighteen months. Geez - hedge your bets much? Details, via Bitten & Bound

[Author Ian Halperin, who penned Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, sat down with PopEater to discuss his book and his belief that the power couple will split within the next 15 to 18 months.

There is one especially interesting tidbit that might lend credence to the author's theory of trouble in paradise.  Halperin said: "I learned she recently filed an adoption request for a seventh child, and incredibly on the form it's only Angelina Jolie's name.  Not Brad Pitt's.  If they are going to stay together, why isn't his name on the form.  Apparently the papers were filed in Syria."

Halperin has interviewed 900 people and is puzzled by the fact that there hasn't been anything written about the couple in book form.  He said, "There's been so many stories about them, so many rumors and innuendo, and I really feel I was able to get the story behind the story and break it down properly."]

Click here to read the PopEater interview with Mr. Halprin - it's excellent. I don't know what more could be said about "Brangelina" - but I know I'll still be drinking up every word. Christmas is conveniently just around the corner - which means my countdown to feigning surprise after finding this book under the tree starts... now!

[Book Cover Credit]

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