"I felt it was a little unfair to say someone has an eating disorder when they don't. It's extremely insulting and irresponsible," the 28-year-old...fashion-designer?...said.
Isn't that the whole reason she got into the tabloids in the first place?! The photos don't lie. Perhaps she's just a being little forgetful, like that little hiccup when she forgot which side of the road to drive on.
On the bright side, she looks healthier now in a photo shoot for the magazine with her newly brown locks, wearing a leather jacket from her new line Winter Kate.]
It's true - an eating disorder is a very serious thing. But come on, Nicole. I know you're aiming for a "Jolie-esque" transformation - but we'll always remember Angelina's vials of blood and we'll never forget your former scrawniness. It doesn't mean we're not proud of your positive changes!
In the end, Perry apologized to her mother (again) and signed out of Twitter for the night. In the end, it was Dr. Luke who had the last laugh. "I told you I make number ones biatch!" he tweeted. "Now 'Katy Perry's Vagina' is the #1 trending topic!" As Perry learned, sometimes the Internet is like the ocean: You never want to turn your back to it for too long.]
Ah, the fantastic day and age we live in: Jessica Simpson's flatulence and Katy Perry's vagina are top stories. Who says there's a double standard for women? I'm sure we'll be hearing about Gerard Butler's bowel movement's and Tom Cruise's penis tomorrow...
Twitter is serious fun! Follow me here. xo
[Photo Credit: This one goes out to you, vagina!]
Michael says he and Kourtney enjoyed a single night of passion nine months before little Mason was born, at a time when she and Scott were on the outs. "If Mason is Scott's son, more power to him," Michael tells Star. "But it he's mine, I need to part of his life. It's been eating away at me for months."
Michael and Kourtney first met in August 2008 at a photo shoot. "It was an incredibly sexy shoot," says Michael, who's also an aspiring actor and screenwriter. "At one point, I was shirtless and blindfolded, and Kourtney was wearing a baby doll teddy and fishnets and digging her fingernails into my chest!" ...
"We shared a friendly hug and just sat outside talking on the patio," he says. "She opened up to me about how Scott was disrespecting her, saying nasty things about her to their friends." Kourtney left after two hours. And though her rep has denied it, Michael says she returned two nights later -and things got physical.
"We were sitting next to each other on the living room couch, drinking red wine," he says. "I put my arm around her, we smiled at each other... and shared a long kiss before heading for the bedroom."
Michael and Kourtney had sex for an hour, he tells Star. "She was a wonderful lover and very beautiful. We didn't use any protection - she didn't ask me about it, and I was too caught up in the moment to think about it."
After Kourtney went home, Michael got an e-mail from her that same day complaining about Scott, and that was the last he heard from her.
Mason Dash was born on Dec. 14 - almost exactly nine months after the romp. "After the news broke last August that she was pregnant and I did the math, I started to think, 'That kid could very well be mine," he says. "I've sent Kourtney e-mails over the winter, saying we needed to talk about it - but she hasn't replied."
"Now it's to the point where I flat out just need to know if that's my son. I'm ready to take a paternity test, and I hope that Scott would be man enough to do the same. In the end, it's all about doing right by the boy - and I would be the best father I could be if he really were mine."]
Ah, this warms my heart! An aspiring rapper/actor/screenwriter who just wants to take responsibility for the possibility of creating a human life. No press, or thanks, needed. More, from Celebitchy:
[Here's the thing: I totally believe this. All of it. I'm sold. I think it's totally possible that Mason Dixon's daddy is not Scott Disick. Of course, I also believe it's possible it's not Premo Stallone either. I think Kourtney was stuck, like so many, many women, in a relationship cycle with a dude who treated her like crap (Scott), and she decided to screw around with whoever was around to make herself feel better. Premo was one of those guys. And he could be the baby-daddy. Oh, I want this scandal to grow!]
Me too, Celebitchy, me too. Take the paternity test, Scott. You haven't been a man about very many things - let this be the time you step up. Do it for me - and do it for E!
[Photo Credit: A grainy shot from the alleged photo shoot between Kourtney and Premo.]
Sources tell Us Weekly that Jolie, 34, often feels she's shouldering the parental burden of their six kids, Maddox, 8, Pax, 6, Zahara, 5, Shiloh, 3, and twins Vivienne and Knox, 18 months. "Angie felt like Brad wasn't pulling his weight," says an insider.
She's "exhausted and has been overwhelmed" with the kids, adds another. "She has nannies, but she wants to do it herself. Her kids are all in different stages now, running around, needing attention."
Jolie -- whom one source describes as a "type A" who "runs the household" -- is demanding on Pitt, 46, even down to the last detail, Us Weekly reports. "She'll yell at him when he makes the eggs too runny or burns something," says a source, who points out how Pitt prides himself as "a Mr. Mom who loves to cook."
Their spats have gotten so bad recently, one source notes, Pitt took to "calling her a bitch behind her back."]
And then he whips out his phone and texts Jennifer Aniston! Believe me, I want all of this to be true. Adios Angie - hola to a Brad and Jen reunion. I'd like to see Brad go back to blonde (both on his head and in his bed) and I think Shiloh deserves a nicer mommy. But I'm ready for some action, goddamn it! Enough of this five year cock-tease. Let's make like the prom and get it on.
But Hilton herself was snubbed by Harvey Weinstein, who was with Ben Affleck and others at the DirecTV party for "The Company Men." A source said, "Paris tried to speak to Harvey and the others at the table. He ignored her, and his whole crew then got up and left her standing there."
Hilton's rep said, "The situation with the girl has been very exaggerated. We don't comment on people who are looking for publicity for themselves. As for Harvey, he was already leaving when we arrived."]
Irony alert: Hilton's entire life centers around seeking publicity for herself. And spin Harvey's exit all you want, Mr. PR Man - we know your bitch got snubbed. Harvey had time for quick hello - he just didn't want to waste it on Paris. More, from Celebslam:
[Paris just can't win. She either rubs people the wrong way, or she rubs them until they've soiled their pants. Perhaps the real reason why Harvey and the others walked away without acknowledging Paris is that they just didn't want to be seen with her. It's a well-documented fact that there's only one thing worse for your career in Hollywood than being photographed with Paris Hilton -- voting for a Republican.]
Heh, heh - Hilton's sex degrees of separation from Bush. No one wants to see that shit.
[Photo Credit: All ass, no class.]
On January 21, Michael's ex-girlfriend Erin Muller, 34, claims that he called her at her place of work. This is in direct violation of a court order of protection that prevents him from contacting her for any reason. Lohan, 49, was arrested yesterday morning and charged with criminal contempt. This is a second strike for Michael, who was arrested in December for the same offense. Lohan's attorney claims that his client is a "victim of fabrication."]
"A victim of fabrication" - funny, that seems to describe the entire Lohan clan. It's difficult to think of someone creepier than Michael Lohan. His brief friendship with Jon Gosselin was the axis of total fame-fuckery - it was kind of a shame to see it go by the wayside. Lindsay certainly brings a lot of trouble on all by herself - but having a father like this certainly can't be helping matters.
[Photo Credit: By Lemony Sarah. The look of an "innocent" man.]
It wasn't Simpson's first brush with public flatulence: She famously cut loose on an episode of Newlyweds, telling then-husband Nick Lachey, "You love my stinky ass," and professed her fondness for between-the-sheets poots (a.k.a. Dutch ovens) to a radio station in 2008.]
Jesus - TMI! And, in the interest of too much information, let's share more! Here's Michael K. from D-Listed, regarding the emission heard 'round the world:
[Shut down your computers and pack your things, because nothing can outdo this. Us Weekly won the fight. CNN, HuffPo, TMZ, People, Radar and the rest can all take the day off and try again tomorrow. This is all the news we need to know today. Put your RSS feeds to bed. If Billy Goat Brad shaved off his beard, left St. Angie and ran off to marry Jennifer Aniston in a ceremony officiated by Tiger Woods, it still wouldn't make a bigger story than this. Done and done.]
I think the funniest thing about this whole "story" is the fact that the phrase "Dutch ovens" appeared in Us Weekly. This really makes Jessica's chili cook-off performance all the more poignant. Ah, Jess! First a brief fling with Billy Corgan and now this "trumpeting" news. Let's aim for a little good press, shall we?
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner were pictured walking together and, get this, smiling for the first time, like, ever. Man, what the hell's up with that? So is Bennifer 2.0 picking up where Brad and Angelina seem to be leaving off? Er, not exactly.
Look, contrary to common belief, we don't root for Hollywood couples to split, especially when kids are involved. But...our sources aren't backing down when they say that Ben and Jen aren't exactly the perfect couple. Don't know anyone who is, though! Either way, they seem to be "working on it," poop peeps close to the sometimes dour-looking duo. Perhaps absence really does make the heart grow fonder?
Affleck was running around Sundance this weekend, but left the douche partying and flirting to the likes of Jon Gosselin. Quite the turnaround from a guy who once liked to drown his problems in beer. Instead, Ben couldn't stop bragging about his family he had waiting for him back home. Fascinating.
However, we must inform: Ben was still getting his party on (nothing exactly like his old ways, mind you), a bit more privately, at the posh celeb hang. Which leaves us even more curious to know which celeb couple you all think has a better chance of making it: Brangelina or Bennifer? Call it a poker game of the heart, if you will. What are the odds, everybody?]
Not exactly bringing the drama Brad and Angelina style - but it's clear that all is not exactly well in Bennifer's world. On one hand, we've got the "proof" of happiness in the public praising of her hubby, via Jen's recent Parade interview. Then we've got the behind-the-scenes stuff with Garner's weight loss (stress?) and Affleck's alleged return to the booze. One thing is for sure - those two have made some of the cutest little girls around. Here's hoping they iron things out - that family is too precious to split up...
Sienna has barely stepped through the door of the two-bed 'bachelorette pad' in Maida Vale, West London, since she and Jude re-united in New York - where they had been working on Broadway. "Sienna has already moved most of her stuff into Jude's place which is very close by,' the friend says. 'She spends every waking moment with him and that's the real reason why she wants to get rid of the Maida Vale place. They are back on track and living together is the next step. They had an amazing holiday at Christmas and made a decision to commit to one another."
Sienna's family are understandably wary of Jude, 37, after he cheated on her with his children's nanny - forcing her to call off their engagement in 2006. "Jude has vowed that his cheating days are behind him and Sienna has begged her family to give him the benefit of the doubt, even though he let her down last time,' the friend adds. 'She wants them to accept her relationship with Jude but they care for her and don't want her to get hurt. They think Sienna should take things slowly."]
That sure is one talkative, knowledgeable "friend"! I'm glad there's so much concern going 'round for Sienna and her poor, precious heart. I'm sure Rosetta Getty agrees. A little more on Miller's motives, via the hilarious Celebslam:
[It's nice to know Sienna can forgive Jude for his past sexual transgressions. The real test will be if she can ever forgive him for Alfie and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Of course, there can only be one reason why Sienna decided to get back together with an ex that cheated on her: love compatibility Sherlock Holmes' $400 million in box office receipts.]
I'm sure you're getting the sense that there's a lot of doubt about these two making it a second time. I think the years since Sienna's first split with Jude have harden her - so maybe she's ready for the reality of Hollywood and life with Law. Time will tell...
[from Us Weekly] But the real zinger came when DioGuardi began belting out Perry's smash hit "I Kissed a Girl." Within seconds, Perry interrupted, "Please stop before I throw my Coke in your face!"
In Katys defense, Kara is annoying. She always has to be the center of attention, the kind of person who tries to kill themselves by holding their breath or calls 911 after eating ice cream too fast.]
Russell Brand has got a live one there! He only thinks he can handle her...
Discussing her fashion line to the magazine, Beckham, 34, says, "My dresses are for women of all different shapes and sizes. Actually, the one I tried on yesterday was the one Jennifer wore." Posh herself sounds as surprised as anyone, adding, "Who'd have thought I'd be the same size as Jennifer Lopez!" The British star doesn't note what that exact dress size is.
Even with three sons underfoot, Beckham has said frequently that she still hits the gym seven days a week. "I run so quick after a double espresso, my [sneakers] are on fire! They have sparks!" she says.
Ryan Seacrest, who worked alongside Beckham when she was a guest judge on American Idol, observed that she eats "perfectly... [she says], 'I'm getting the steamed this, the steamed that.'"
By contrast, Lopez told Allure magazine recently, "I'm not the monster I used to be in the exercise department...You get past your 20s, you've got kids...you're kind of unmotivated. You want to be healthy and look good, but you want to do the least amount to maintain that."]
Once again, I'm unclear what Victoria's angle is - other than her cheek and collar bones! On the other hand, I'm sure Jennifer is thrilled. She's probably saying, "I told you so" somewhere right now...
[Photo Credit: Shine on, Posh!]
TMZ reports that cops pulled over Adrian on the 405 freeway after they spotted him swerving between lanes. Adrian was apparently going 90mph at the time. When the cops shuffled up to Adrian's car, they said he smelled like he had just made out with The Hoff.
Adrian, who is married to Natalie of the Dixie Chicks, said no a Breathalyzer test, so the judge set his bail at $15,000.
To be fair, I'd drink too if I worked with Hayden Panatroll for four years straight, but this is why liquor stores were invented. Pick up some take-out-booze and get DRUNK in the comfort of your own La-Z-Boy.]
Why was Adrian out at 3 AM, (allegedly) drunk off his ass? Also, I know people speed down the freeway in L.A. with great regularity - but even those crazies usually tamp it down to one lane. I'd be freaking out if I were Adrian. Natalie is tiny, but she can get her bitch on like a snake. There are a lot of ways to be goddamn stupid in this world - but driving drunk absolutely tops the list. Remember - cabs are a hell of a lot cheaper than an accident, a DUI or taking someone else's life. Seriously.
"Camila's mother is very traditional, and she's worried that since they are not married, Matthew could leave her daughter high and dry with two kids if he falls out of love with her," a source divulged. "She's been telling Cam that she needs to force Matthew into a financial agreement, but when Cam brought it up, Matthew exploded. He said, 'I'll always take care of our babies - and you!'"
Brazilian-born Camila, 26, has basically shelved her modeling career since moving in with the movie hunk in 2007. Their son Levi is 18 months old, and she gave birth to daughter Vida on Jan. 3.
And after Matthew shut her down, Cam went crying to her mother, said the source. "Now Multo is pressuring Cam to get Matthew to commit to a legal agreement," the source revealed. "She said, 'He wanted you to carry his babies - he ought to take real responsibility.'"
But the idea of signing a contract with Camila isn't sitting well with Matthew, said the source, although the actor's publicist denies the couple is having a disagreement. The source revealed: "It's caused a rift between them, and Matthew's kind of scratching his head over it. He told me, 'It seems kind of cold, doesn't it?']
I honestly don't believe this is Matthew's attempt to shirk his responsibilities. There are a lot of actors out there who would fall into the category of "Hell no, girl" on the foolish scale - but this isn't the case with McConaughey. For all that can be said about him, I really think he would do right by his kids (and Camila). A weed-smokin', bongo playin', surfer whose personal motto is "just keep livin'" isn't out to screw anyone over - he's just out to have a good time, all the time. And that includes keepin' baby momma's vibes on a happy hum. I'd say the real problem is Camila's mom - that lady needs to butt the hell out and trust her adult daughter's choices.
A source told Page Six the unit was considering "slashing all marketing and production budgets by 50 percent" after the $31 million Ford flick -- about a father racing against time to cure a rare disease killing his kids -- was panned by the critics and took in a measly $6 million its opening weekend.
The picture flopped despite an extensive marketing campaign across CBS's television shows and billboards. The Post's Lou Lumenick drubbed it as "basically a tear-jerking TV disease-of-the-week flick on the big screen," and the LA Times called it "a film that wouldn't make the Showtime [also owned by CBS] or HBO quality-cut."
The failure of the picture -- the first from CBS Films, which was created a couple of years ago to put the network in the feature business and produce up to six movies a year with budgets of up to $50 million -- has led to doubts among some CBS suits.
One honcho told us, "Unit bosses are saying they are going to have to slash all marketing and production budgets by 50 percent off the back of this failure. Some executives at CBS are saying this seems like more of a vanity project for Les Moonves to turn himself into a movie mogul than a realistic money-making venture."
But a rep for CBS Films said their next three movies "would go out as planned and are currently testing very well with audiences." They are "The Back-Up Plan," a romantic comedy starring Jennifer Lopez, out April 16; "Beastly," a teen drama with Vanessa Hudgens out July 13; and "Faster," an action thriller starring Dwayne Johnson, out Nov. 19.]
OMG - CBS is putting the future of their film company in the hands of Jennifer Lopez, Vanessa Hudgens and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson? Seriously? Why not let a bunch of third graders in the door to punch some buttons and see what happens? The freakin' captain of the Titanic had a better plan. Good luck with that...
[Photo Credit: Take a good look at your leading lady, Vanessa Hudgens, CBS. Oh wait, you probably already have.]
The Hollywood mantra. First it's, "Who's Angelina Jolie?" Then it's, "Get me Angelina Jolie." Next up, "Find the next Angelina Jolie."
After clawing out of anonymity, these are people who live behind gates, behind dark glasses, behind spokespeople. Behind yes men. With the industry perks -- CDs, DVDs, marketing, product placement, videos, international distribution, percentages, books, documentaries, TV shows -- actors make more than $20 million a picture. With that kind of money, who's going to argue with them? To tell them, no. You can't. You can't do this, can't do that. Even parents keep still. Parents need that income. An assistant can't tell them. An assistant wants the salary and Rolodex and connections and access and castoff clothes or guys or freebie goody-bag gifts. And managers want the commission.
SO maybe you have to be wacked out to be a Hollywood star. Maybe you have to be like Angelina, who has tattoos probably even inside her ovaries, who once kept a vial of then-husband Billy Bob Thornton's blood in a vial around her neck, who doesn't speak to her father, who's reported to frequent a London sex shop. Maybe you have to be like Brad Pitt, who went from splendiferous to always always wearing a dumb baseball cap and looking like Ho Chi Minh with that scraggly beard.
Of course it wouldn't last. Remember those song lyrics, "Too hot not to cool down"? So people -- in the wake of Haiti, unemployment, bank failure, health care, Madoff, Obama, Albany, swine flu, Ahmadinejad, bin Laden, high subway fare, high taxes -- are all asking themselves, is it true? They splitting? Well, put it this way. If not today, wait a few minutes.]
Ah, a woman after my own heart. Click on the NY Post link above for the article in its entirety - it's quite entertaining. Of course there are loads of hypocrisies in the column, but there's also truth. The irony is that we pay people like Angelina and Brad that much money because they distract us from real life. Most of us don't want to think about all the pain and suffering in the world on a daily basis. We'd much rather daydream about when Brad is going to shave that damn goatee or who Angie will lure into her web next. In many ways we should thank Brangelina - and then take a some time to focus on the environment before there's no Earth left in which to follow these mortal gods.
The 19-year-old actress is seen dancing in platform heels, fishnets, a micro-mini skirt and a bra in one scene and the actress was nervous about shooting the sequence with co-star James Gandolfini.
She added: "The first time I put on all the fishnets I was nervous. I really tried to own it though." Kristen trained with a professional stripper for two weeks to prepare for the movie and initially wanted to learn the sexy moves covered up. Speaking to Us Weekly magazine, she said: "I wanted to do it in my clothes. But my trainer was like, 'No, you don't stick to the poll when you do that.' "]
Now that sounds like a good trainer. What who else does she stick to when not wearing clothes? Stewart is actually turning into an actress I want to see - there's no quicker way to my heart than a stoned stripper who digs The Runaways.
The former Spice Girls singer was personally approached by Sheik Mohammed bin Rashid al-Maktoum who asked her to lend her talents to the project after meeting Victoria and David when they vacationed in the Gulf last summer.]
Posh was reportedly surprised by the offer - but it is rumored to be a fashion-themed hotel, so it sounds like she's considering it. Of course, one can safely assume we're talking interior design and not structural. I have my doubts about the validity of this story - but it's fun to entertain the notion. In some ways it's not that far-fetched - after all she does get paid to hawk underwear and she has no ass.
[Photo Credit: A hotel visit of another kind! Victoria, pictured with that ridiculously hot husband or hers, David Beckham.]
A source is saying that Natalie's vag has been pirouetting on Benjamin Millepied's peen since the fall. Natalie and 32-year-old Benjamin met on the set of The Black Swan. Benjamin, who is a member of New York City Ballet, is one of the movie's choreographers.
I'm giving Natalie too much credit. There's no way her vagina can charm a snake out of its pot by humming "There's a place in France." Only my homewrecky hero Sienna Miller can do that. Natalie didn't wreck any home. Benjamin's life was probably too exciting, so he decided to bore it down a bit by hanging out with that limp rutabaga.]
I'd like to take Natalie to task, but how can I top that spanking?
[Photo Credit: I never got the man-eater vibe from her. How wrong one can be...]
"Yay! Heading to DC to meet my baby!!!" Kardashian Tweeted Sunday afternoon. Inside the White House, President Barack Obama posed for a photo with the entire team as Kobe Bryant presented him with an Lakers jersey (labeled "Obama #1).
Obama then moved on to shake hands with seated guests -- including Bryant's wife Vaness Bryant and, Kardashian. The basketball players and their dates then enjoyed a tour of the presidential grounds. The reality star could barely contain her excitement after the big moment. "Such an amazing day!" Khloe Tweeted. "I just meet [sic] Obama with my husband! :)"
Khloe's big sister Kim might have the chance to hang with Obama as well -- if her boyfriend Reggie Bush wins the Super Bowl with the New Orleans Saints, that is.]
I love that Kim's life is contingent on the plans of "her man." What is this - 1950? She might get married - if Reggie wins the Super Bowl. And she might met the President too! A little more, from Celebitchy:
[Yesterday, Khloe Kardashian got to go to the White House and meet Pres. Obama. It was all part of Obama's honoring of this year's NBA champs, the LA Lakers. Lamar Odom is a Laker, and many of the men invited their wives or girlfriends to the short ceremony. Pres. Obama not only did a photo-op with the players (having received a Laker Jersey with his name on it), but he also went around shaking the hands of all of the wives and girlfriends. So, basically, Khloe got to meet the president because she got sort of fake married to Lamar Odom. All in all, a good day for Khloe. Lets see how her passive-aggressive sisters try to one-up her. Maybe Kim will begin an affair with Pres Sarkozy?]
The best part will be watching this played out on television. And isn't that the whole damn point for these girls?
[Photo Credit: Click on the Us Weekly and Celebitchy links for photos of this "historic" meeting.]
Sources say that Elin took a private jet to Mississippi and spent five days participating in Tiger's rehab program. RadarOnline.com is reporting that they both want to save the marriage and that it is not over.
Private security was brought in to keep Nordegren out of the public eye. Elin returned to Orlando on Sunday. While she was away, her twin sister Josefin and a nanny took care of the couple's children Sam and Charlie.]
Meanwhile, details have been released as to how the scandal first broke after that fateful Thanksgiving evening. Here's a peek, courtesy of The Daily Mail:
[Tiger Woods let his wife talk to his alleged mistress Rachel Uchitel on the phone in a bid to convince her she was just a friend, it has been claimed. 'Tiger convinced Uchitel to talk to Elin. The two women spoke by phone for about half an hour, and after the conversation, according to this source, she was satisfied that the relationship was platonic.
'After Woods fell asleep, Elin looked through his cellphone, both sources confirmed. 'There she found text messages to Uchitel's number. Among them she discovered one that said: "You are the only one I've loved."' Posner claims Nordegren began to text Uchitel pretending to be Woods. Elin wrote, "I miss you" and asked, "When are we seeing each other again?",' he said. 'Uchitel texted back, seemingly surprised that Woods was awake.
'Elin specifically felt, one source told me, that this response indicated that the two of them spoke earlier that night. At that point, Elin called Uchitel, who answered thinking it was Tiger calling. Uchitel's surprised reply, according to what Elin told one source, was "Oh f**k". 'She immediately hung up.'
Posner, who appeared on America's The Today Show to talk about his report, claims to have spoken to friends of Woods' wife - the mother of his two children who he married in 2004.
It follows reports that Woods, 34, had an 18-month fling with a British mother-of-two, 42-year-old Emma Rotherham - who was allegedly paid more than £300,000 to keep quiet about the affair. She is the 19th woman he has been linked to.
Woods is said to have lost around £600,000 a day since the scandal broke as the world's richest sportsman has lost out on sponsorship, winnings and appearance pay.]
Perhaps Tiger's sex addiction can be cured - but what about his preference for layering his lies? It's gone so far beyond the amount of mistresses that have come forward - it's more about the amount of energy it took to have that many balls in the air, so to speak. My advice to Elin? Move on!
Gone 10pm in the award-winning Alto restaurant in Midtown Manhattan, and the world's most famous showbusiness couple have already been there for four hours. They've sunk five bottles of wine (two red, two white and an Italian dessert wine) and eaten a four-course dinner, while the friends they were discussing charity work with have long gone.
Now, as fellow diners including actor Alec Baldwin look on, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are struggling to keep their emotions in check. He looks close to tears as he tells the mother of their children that she needs to get psychiatric help or he will leave her. She hisses back to Brad that she's bored with him, she considers him 'toxic' and wants him out of her life.
It is said to be this dinner, earlier this month, that finally sealed the fate of the Brangelina story which has fascinated the world ever since Brad left Jennifer Aniston six years ago to be with Angelina, his co-star in Mr And Mrs Smith, the film he was working on.
When the pair left the restaurant an hour later, Angelina looked grim and determined. Brad wore an expression of deep concern as they stepped into their large people-carrier. Were their strained looks an indication of what was going through their minds? For it was reported yesterday that a few days later the pair walked into a Beverly Hills lawyer's office to finalise the terms of their split. Although they never married, they have six children, a £205 million fortune, and several homes between them.
Compared to their years of rows with differing opinions on everything from how to bring up their children to art and world poverty, their meeting at the lawyer appears to have gone smoothly. They will have joint custody of the children, who will live with Angelina.]
Large people carrier? God, the Brits are awesome! I want an accent and new terms for everyday things. Sigh. Anyway, I would highly recommend checking out the Daily Mail's Brangelina split story in it's entirety - it's chockfull of interesting tidbits! I might be delirious, but I think this might be it. Finally, the demise of the most famously annoying relationship in the world. I feel like it's my birthday, six months early...
[Star Magazine Cover: Can I get a witness?]
It seems that the resilient Louisiana city isn't Jolie's cup of tea, and it threatens to drive a wedge between her and Pitt, 46. "Brad loves spending time in New Orleans, but Angie doesn't," the source divulges in the new issue of Us Weekly. "They fight because of it...she keeps yelling at him that she hates New Orleans and never wants to go back."
Friends say Pitt is devoted to the Mardi Gras burg because it allows him to indulge in his passions for architecture and environmentalism (he established a foundation to build 150 "green" homes in the wake of Hurricane Katrina). If the actor had his way, he'd love settle down in the southern town with Jolie and their six kids.
But Jolie "gets really bored" there, and would prefer staying at Chateau Miraval, their 1000-acre, $70 million estate in Provence, France -- and continue traveling the world. Yet Pitt has lost the globetrotting bug. "He's tired of it!" the source says.]
So, in this analogy, "New Orleans" is "Jennifer Aniston" and "Chateau Miraval" is "Angelina - the sexy siren." I think it's safe to assume, based on this unscientific study, that Brangelina are fighting about Jen again. Brad longs to stay in New Orleans (i.e. Aniston) where he can live in comfort, without being bossed around the globe (i.e. Jolie). Meanwhile, one thing Angelina doesn't hate are orphans - specifically the ones in Haiti. Brad can keep Nola - Angie is ready to take on the world! Speaking of do-gooders and telethons, don't forget to check out George Clooney's fundraiser for Haiti this evening - for real.
Please note: Panty Line Press is currently posting Mondays thru Fridays. I look forward to seeing you back here on Monday, January 25th. Follow me on Twitter and/or Facebook if you can't live without me - and have a great weekend! xo
[Photo Credit: Angelina says "Grrr!" to you Nola!]
Shauna: I've been walking in them for so long. I was a ballerina, so my balance is amazing and I'm used to being on my toes in point shoes. But I also think my stilettos are quite deceiving because they're so comfortable. I have three daughters, who are almost nine, 10 and 12 and even when my kids were like, two, they were able to walk in the stilettos. They're really not that high because they have a platform so once you get used to them, they're so easy to walk in. [Wearing stilettos] is like exercising without exercising. When you wear them, you're actually working your legs and your butt and you can get beautiful muscle definition.]
Seeing this photo brings me back to my childhood. My mom used to dress like this, except her outfit was made of macrame. We'd go to the grocery store together and I'd get to pick out whatever I wanted - and then strange men would offer to pay for our entire cart of food! Then they would follow us home, where mommy and her new friend would have "nap time." Oh, wait - I'm still thinking of Shauna. Oops.
Reid revealed several years ago that she had suffered permanent disfigurement from a botched plastic surgery. She has since had additional surgery to correct the issues. The 34-year-old "American Pie" actress appears on the cover and in the pages of Playboy's January-February 2010 issue. Initially it was reported that Reid would appear nude, but it has since been reported that she appears topless.]
I don't know the how, when or where of Tara and Michael's meeting or subsequent romance - though I think it's safe to assume that tequila was somehow involved. I had totally forgotten that Tara briefly dated Tom Brady! Damn - that dude knows how to upgrade. Congrats to Tara and Michael. Let's hoist a margarita and cheer the couple's next 12 to 15 months of wedded bliss. Don't chide me on the timeline - I'm feeling generous. Click here for the Bitten & Bound gallery of Reid and Axtmann photos, featuring their waxed eyebrows.
"You steal the time. You steal a date, you steal a kiss, you steal a whisper. You sit next to each other on the couch with computers on your laps. After the kids are asleep you...well, you know," the Valentine's Day star, 37, tells Parade. "Whatever it is. You slip away for a night, which we've only just now done for the first time. Of course, I call home while we're away. Ben would be surprised if I didn't."
She began dating Affleck, 37, after her 2003 split from actor Scott Foley. "Well, it helped that we were both single at the time," she says of falling for Affleck, her costar in the 2003 comic-book movie Daredevil. "He's a very good writer." Asked if he wooed her with letters, she says, "Don't make assumptions. I didn't say that! Okay...e-mail. He's a very persuasive writer."
She describes her husband as "sexy and kind, but he's also a riot. We can be very goofy together." He's also a family man: She says he didn't have to work hard to win over Garner's mom and sisters. "He doesn't have trouble wiggling his way in anywhere," she says. "Ben is charm personified when he wants to be. He's not easily threatened or made uncomfortable--he's very secure in that way. Maybe he just knows I'm nuts about him, and he doesn't have anything to worry about."]
She maybe crazy for him, but is he as crazy for her? Ben seemed delighted to be in the company of Blake Lively filming The Town in the fall of 2009. Two things are for sure: Jen and Ben make cute kids. Ben is way better off with Garner than a Jennifer of a different name - i.e. Ms Lopez!
So, to recap, Conan hosted a very successful and popular talk show on NBC for 16 years, but then his show moved 60 minutes earlier and NBC decided he forgot how to host a talk show. Then they freaked the fuck out and panicked like some kind of woman. By some accounts this will cost NBC $250 million, partially because of lost ad revenue but mostly between moving Conan, firing Conan, hiring Jimmy Fallon, and creating a show for Leno. It's fiscal leadership like this that took NBC from a $1.8 billion profit 8 years ago to a $600 million loss this year. Horny 16-year-olds think about the consequences of their actions better than this. You could take Steve Jobs, chase him with a bear, and he still would have figured this all out better than NBC did.]
I don't know what magic voodoo Jay Leno and his people used on NBC - but I'm confident that they'll eventually wake up and regret it. There's no way they'll recoup from this "investment" - especially after the cascade of negative press. I'd be worried about ultimately being blamed for all of this if I were Jay. Someone is going to be the scapegoat when NBC fails to secure the numbers they're aiming for...
But beyond the tan line quibble, I do think Jennifer looks good. Since everyone seems to be on a "Fabulous at 40" kick this week, I'll say that Jennifer's body is still kickin' and that she's rocking that miniskirt. Should miniskirts be left to younger girls? Well, personally, I don't care for miniskirts on anyone (I'm always afraid of a vadge attack), but I think miniskirts should just be left to those with the legs to pull it off, and Jennifer fits that bill.
By the way, does anyone think Jennifer is Botoxing? I didn't think so in some of the other photos of Jennifer we've had the past few months, but she's looking particularly waxy and a touch frozen in some of these photos. Maybe she's just trying to remember how to make her "DIVA" face.]
Jennifer is a curious case. She's simultaneously full of herself, demanding accolades (she believes she got passed over for an Oscar), yet she ironically comes across as insecure. After all these years, she still throwing seeds into the wind, seeing what will take.
GQ's Fashion Director, Madeline Weeks, says that "She showed up to the shoot with her Blackberry and her Yorkie, No qualms about being naked. Her body is flawless. I wouldn't mess with Miranda Kerr."
Miranda Kerr's body is flawless and she likes to get naked. Just my type of woman.]
I realize we've heard conflicting reports on whether these two are actually getting hitched or not. Who knows? She could be hot, but totally annoying. However, with an ass like that, does it really matter? Yep, you heard it here first - Jenna Zine, feminist.
"She only had seven lines, seven!" the source told RadarOnline.com exclusively about the recently out of rehab actress' problems with her lines. "Each time she would mess up she would forget her lines and Mariska kept prompting her and saying 'it's your line Mischa'."
According to the source, Mariska Hargitay and the cast and crew on set were losing patience with Mischa's "unprofessionalism." To her credit, the actress did apologize, saying "Sorry," each time she missed her lines.]
Remember when she fucked up the ending of The OC? Mischa let it leak that her character was set to die - and she was thrilled because she was on to bigger and better things. I doubt this is what Barton envisioned for her future. Who knew the highlight of her career would be The Sixth Sense?
[Photo Credit: Old photo, same fantastic style!]
The douchebag singer confesses: "I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for people I've had relationships with. What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f**ing fantastic, if I said to her, 'I don't dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But, I have to back out of this because it doesn't arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny."
We think that was a compliment to Jen. Either way, we're pleased to report that John has come to grips with being single. And oh, how gripping it can be. "All I want to do now is f**k the girls I've already f**ked," John says, "I can't fathom explaining myself to somebody who can't believe I'm interested, and they're going, 'But you're John Mayer!' So I'm going backwards to move forward."
"I'm too freaked out to meet anyone else." As a resort, John has resorted to self-gratification, and he's a pro, if he doesn't say so himself: "I am the new generation of masturbator. I've seen it all. Before I make coffee, I've seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week. I have masturbated myself out of some serious problems in my life. The phone doesn't pick up because I'm masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion."]
That's quite a compliment to Jen - in the most backhanded, typical Mayer manner. I don't think John will ever find true love with a woman - he's already found it with himself. Who can break up that relationship? You'd have to physically separate him from his mirror - and it sounds like that would prove to be exceedingly difficult to accomplish. More, via a hilarious piece from The Onion A.V. Club:
[In the newest issue of Rolling Stone, human droning fork John Mayer says that he's looking for a girlfriend who is "able to go toe-to-toe with [him] intellectually," amongst other qualities. Unfortunately for Mayer, this is an unachieveable dream, because no one could possibly go toe-to-toe intellectually with him.
Evidence It Is Impossible To Go Toe-To-Toe Intellectually With John Mayer (as outlined in Rolling Stone):
1. John Mayer has a tattoo of the number 77 on his chest. Why? He was born in 1977. Are you clever enough to tattoo the year of your birth on your chest, just in case? Probably not. John Mayer is thinking on the Memento-level.
2. John Mayer thinks about everything on, like, a cosmic level: "I met a girl one time in Vegas. Her name was Dimples, and the 's' in Dimples was adollar sign. I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I've had relationships with. I still feel like I'm with them, in the sense that if I f---ed Dimples, what does that say about someone like Jen? I feel like it's all connected. How could I ever cosmically relate these two people?"
Deep, right? John Mayer understands that everything that happens to John Mayer (and anyone associated with John Mayer) happens on a John Mayer continuum--that's how intense John Mayer's thinking about John Mayer is.
3. If you tried to go toe-to-toe intellectually with John Mayer, you'd have to listen to him say shit like this, without ripping your own face off out of sheer annoyance: "What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f---ing fantastic, if I said to her, 'I don't dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn't arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.'" No one can withstand destiny-speak like that for too long.
4. John Mayer is the king of whip-smart, hilarious word play: "Blowing me off is the new sucking me off!" You'd probably need several motion-sickness patches just to keep up with a wit as quick as his.
5. John Mayer is always looking to free up even more of his already impressive brain capacity: "I'll be happy when I close out this life-partner thing. Think of how much mental capacity I'm using to meet the right person so I can stop giving a f-k about it."
I would think about it, John Mayer, but I can't even begin to imagine a space as vast as the brain space John Mayer has devoted to thinking about the perfect life-partner for John Mayer. It's like trying to picture infinity, or measure the size of John Mayer's ego. It just can't be done.]
Whether Mayer realizes he's the butt of the joke appears to be irrelevant - he loves the attention too much to care where the impetus generates from. In fact, the joke may be on us.
During the holidays, gorgeous model Elisabetta Canalis told George that she wants to get pregnant. Friends of 48-year-old Clooney were shocked when he responded: "Sounds like a plan to me! When do we get started?"
"George has done a complete 180 on starting a family," a close friend told The ENQUIRER. "He's still not a huge fan of the institution of marriage, but Elisabetta has made him rethink having children and settling down. They're both incredibly happy and I certainly could see them having a baby in the next year."
The idea grew out of an offhand remark between the couple during the holidays. "Elisabetta is crazy about George and wanted to make that clear to him," said the source. "So when he asked what she wanted for Christmas, she said, 'Your baby!' She was dead serious. And while George was a little startled, it made him think about how ready he is to be a dad and what a perfect mother Elisabetta would be. And that's when he told her to be careful what she wished for."
George met 31-year-old Elisabetta in Italy last summer, and it wasn't long before he had moved her into his 25-room Italian villa on Lake Como. "At his Christmas bash, they were acting more in love than ever and let out huge smiles when anyone mentioned them having a future together," the source said. "George was quick to retell the story of Elisabetta's Christmas wish for a baby - adding that if she is a really good girl, next Christmas Santa might bring her what she asks for."]
All George would have to do is glance at the sagging visage of Brad Pitt and his baby plans would be kaput. Can we all agree Brad has aged a decade since taking on responsibility for six children? More opinions, courtesy of Celebitchy:
[As I mentioned during the post-Golden Globe analysis, I think George Clooney is totally over Elisabetta Canalis. While she definitely looks pretty on his arm, and while she fulfilled her duties as arm candy admirably, I thought I detected a detached, annoyed air around Clooney. Like, maybe his thoughts were on Haiti and the telethon, and maybe he wished, for the first time, he had a girlfriend who was interested in charity work and humanitarianism and anything beyond "being George Clooney's girlfriend" and "acting/modeling". But the reviews from their Globes appearance have much of the same bullsh-t... and now the Enquirer is reporting that Elisabetta is pushing hard for commitment. Not to get married, but to have George's baby! Oh, God. Haha, I wish I could meet Clooney just once just so anytime he offered me anything (like, say, "Would you like a soda?") I could scream, "No, I want your baby!! BAY-BEH!" But the whole "Santa is going to bring Elisabetta a baby" thing is pretty funny too. Who in the world really, honestly, truly believes that Clooney rolls with that kind of inanity? I realize that he's not everyone's favorite person, but George is not, and never will be, the kind of man who utters cheese-tastic lines like "If you're a really good girl, next Christmas Santa might bring you what you ask for." Unless what his girlfriend is asking Santa for is kinky sex.]
Yeah, this is one tabloid-inspired rumor that will never see the light of day. The only bump Elisabetta will see from her belly is if she overindulges in cocktails and salty bar snacks. Trust me, I know this from experience!
In an exclusive interview with In Touch, an ex-employee of the Waldorf-Astoria in New York claims that Angelina has been cheating on Brad -- and details a steamy tryst that could end their troubled relationship for good. Anna Kowalski, a housekeeper who speaks several languages and was often assigned to the hotel's most high-profile guests, worked extensively with the family on their numerous visits to the hotel over the past four years.
Anna tells In Touch the affair took place over the summer when Brad and the kids were at their rented mansion on Long Island, N.Y., and Angelina was staying at the hotel by herself while shooting her movie Salt.
According to Anna, Angelina more than once took visits from a tall, dark-haired man -- who was one of her dialect coaches from the movie. "She would see the tutor while a bodyguard stood entrance at the suite," Anna -- who was fired from the hotel in December because, she claims, she did not get off Brad and Angelina's floor fast enough when security shut it down for a doctor's visit -- tells In Touch.
Anna adds that, after one late-night meeting with the tutor in mid-July, Anna personally saw what looked like evidence of a night of passion. Once she got into the room, Anna shares, she was shocked by what she saw. "The room was a disaster," she explains. "There was water all over the bathroom and empty vodka bottles everywhere. Every towel had been used. And over five dozen cattleya orchids were scattered around the room, and there were the tops of the flowers in the tub, with candles."
Once Anna got into the bedroom, she shares, she got an eyeful. "The bed was covered with black rubber sheets, and there were sex toys on it," she reveals, adding that it left her with little doubt that the actress and the tutor were having an affair.]
While the allegations are most likely false, the story is titillating nonetheless. Frankly, given my personal opinion of Angelina, I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that this story held a grain of truth. It's a pretty common tenant of psychology that people tend to blame others for things they themselves are guilty of. Furthermore, I don't think Angie ever lost that crazy, sexual edge she used to flaunt - she's just gotten better at hiding it. She used to meet lovers in hotels - what would stop her from doing the same now? We all know five years can dim the passion of even the hottest love affairs from time to time. I would guess, if there is any truth to this, that Jolie would view it more as an opportunity to take care of her needs versus viewing the fling as an actual full-blown affair. In other news, I should probably focus on my own sex life instead of Angie's! Meanwhile Anna - let's get crackin' with those photos of the torn-up hotel room. You're already in boiling hot kettle of trouble anyway...
"Lucia, luckily, looks more like her mother than me and is an angel and the mother, turns out she's a wonderful mother," Gibson told Access Hollywood. "She'd make anyone a wonderful wife, but for the moment, she's a mother."
While Mel -- who has seven children with Robyn -- is full of praise for his family, he admits he hasn't been easy to live with in recent months because quitting smoking turned him into "an axe murderer".]
[The film, which topped last year's "black list" of awesome-but-unproduced screenplays, is about a man who "wears a beaver puppet on his hand that he treats as a real person. Those familiar with the script have compared it to Lars and the Real Girl and the work of Charlie Kaufman," according to the Hollywood Reporter. Foster is set to direct and co-star as the beaver-handed Gibson's wife.]
Seriously, where is this goddamn movie? The jokes are writing themselves! Get cracking, you crazy kids.
On renewing her contract, Britney said "I had a great experience working with Candie's and Kohl's last year and I am thrilled to be asked to sign on again for a second year. We're planning some very cool photo shoots and I can't wait for my fans to see them."
I refuse to believe that Annie Leibovitz was the photographer of this campaign, surely she could have come up with better stuff than this?
Britney Spears looks like she has received some terrible news or she is just bored shitless and her hair looks like a birds nest. I actually prefer the extremely photoshopped photos we got in the past for this campaign.]
I'd be surprised to learn that famed photographer Annie Leibovitz shot this campaign. What wouldn't shock me? If we found out that Britney used her Madame Tussauds wax figure as a stand-in.
The Nine star and notorious man-eater was spotted enjoying a lengthy breakfast with 90210's Sara Foster and another girlfriend at A Votre Sante in Brentwood over the weekend. She was sharing pictures and stories of her latest conquest...
"He's a photographer," Hudson told her friends as she flipped through pics on her Blackberry. A source tells E! that the ladies looked shocked as Hudson, sporting bright red sunglasses, played show-and-tell. "At one point, they burst out laughing and one said 'Oh my God!'" says our insider at the next table.
Hudson continued to play with her phone throughout the meal, taking pictures of herself and sending them, presumably to her stud of the moment. "She had a flirtatious smile on her face and looked really giddy," dishes our eavesdropping source.
But at one point the mood turned serious as Hudson was overheard saying, "It's too late." Could she possibly have been talking about what went wrong with A-Rod? One friend offered these words of advice: "Don't be nice about it," while Foster chimed in saying, "It's too late to apologize."
The ladies then caught up on Friday night's escapades talking about how they went "all out" and drank a lot of wine. Hudson refueled on a protein shake, a Sante Fe egg white scramble, coffee and shared a plate of soy cheese nachos. As they were finishing up, Hudson told her friends how excited she was to begin filming Earthbound on Monday. The movie is slated for a 2011 release and also stars Kathy Bates and Gael García Bernal. "It's a great cast," Hudson said. "I'm really excited."
Well, we're really excited to see what this man of yours looks like, dollface! Tho we don't expect him to stick around long enough to be making any public appearances with the gorgeous blonde. Either way, we say it's quite refreshing to see a girl player for once, no?]
All I can is, those Kegel exercises must really payoff! I'm all for a girl getting as much action as she (safely) can - but Kate is veering into Jenna Jameson territory. How does she have time for her career, much less raising a child? Actually, we should all be so lucky. I know my boyfriend wouldn't mind if my libido were kicked up a notch. Maybe not a Kate Hudson notch, but a peg or two wouldn't hurt!
The couple have had a fiery romance since meeting in September 2007, just three months after Miss Moss finished a turbulent two-year relationship with Pete Doherty. They were introduced by mutual friend Sadie Frost backstage at a Kills gig.
Today, the couple flew back to London and seemed very loved up as they kissed while they waited for their luggage before grabbing a coffee and heading to their car. A friend said of the proposal: 'Kate was stunned, Jamie called her up and told her not to come home. He said he was flying out to Mustique.
"He had carefully picked a ring and chose her birthday to propose. It was the first time they had been alone together in quite a while and it was extremely emotional. Kate and Jamie are in a very good place, they already live together and this is the next step to settling down for good."
Despite a string of rows, friends say that Hince has been a stabilising influence for Miss Moss. He is said to get on well with Lila Grace, her eight-year-old daughter by ex-boyfriend Jefferson Hack.
The big love of Miss Moss's life is still said to be actor Johnny Depp, with whom she split in 1998 following a four-year romance. Depp, who has two children with partner Vanessa Paradis, is later alleged to have said: "I don't think I was very good for her. So what we did was right - we walked away from each other."]
Yeah, I suspect there's no getting over Johnny Depp! Kate's not exactly high on my list of suspects as a contender for a stable relationship. However, I may be willing to smash my piggy-bank and fly to London for this event. Kate is known the be a premiere party gal with a massive penchant for champagne. The booze selection and celebrity action at this bash are going to be insane!
From the NYT: Maybe it's just me, but I could have sworn that some of the ladies who showed up at the Golden Globes on Sunday had put on a little weight. It's almost criminal to name names, because the very actresses whose body-mass indexes have been the subject of endless tabloid speculation are the very ones now sporting sexier curves. You could definitely see the difference if you concentrated solely on the upper arms.]
There were a lot of things I concentrated on while watching the Golden Globes: the incredible dresses, the insane action on the red carpet, the flow of champagne to my glass and the hilarious acceptance speeches. The new layer of "fat" on Jennifer, Courteney or Kate's arms was not on my list. Apparently NYT writer Andy Port has some kind of superhero x-ray vision. Then again, critics are also trashing host Ricky Gervais, citing that he was tasteless and unfunny. This is also odd - I thought he was hilarious and added some much needed levity to the normally all too serious awards ceremony. I'm confused. Did I get drunk and watch the wrong show?
[Photo Credit: Look at those hideous arms! Gerard Butler looks terrified.]
So, anyway - here is Demi in the new ad for 'Helena Rubenstein - Wanted'. That's the perfume that Demi is the "face" of. God knows what kind of modeling contract it is, or how much it pays, but you'd think that if Helena Rubenstein is laying out the serious money for Demi, they'd want to actually use her real face. This sh-t isn't just "Oh, someone got a little heavy-handed and made her skin look flawless and ridiculous." This sh-t is like "Oh my God, who shaved Demi's cheeks down and made her look like a cartoon?!?" This is some Jessica Rabbit looking stuff. But she's never Photoshopped, and of course Demi really looks like that, right?]
If that's what the face of a forty-seven year old woman looks like naturally, well then I guess there's nothing to worry about for the rest of us. What a relief!
Katie and Chris began dating in 2000 and became engaged three years later -- but the romance fizzled out by 2005 and the couple remained friends, despite their split. They haven't had very much interaction since then, though there was a crazy rumor floating around in 2006 that Chris was the biological father of Katie and Tom's daughter, Suri. Something tells us Tom and Chris aren't grabbing a beer together anytime soon.]
Chris must still be shaking his head in amusement at the twists and turns Katie's life has taken. No one could have guessed that the sweetie from Dawson's Creek would be the ultimate in Stepford Wives. Sometimes life really is stranger than fiction...
"The casting is meant to still be a secret but there's no such thing when it comes to Lisa! She's been sworn to secrecy about her involvement but has been telling anyone and everyone that will listen! When it comes to Lisa "loose lips" is definitely a saying that springs to mind!" the insider continued.
"Actually, it could be applied to all three of them! They all love to gossip and there's a real rivalry between them, even though they socialize together and are friends," the source said. "There's definitely going to be more than a fair share of drama, cat fights and bitchiness."]
Sounds about par for the course. Is anyone surprised that relatives of Hilton would be simultaneously wealthy and petty? Bitches always make for compelling reality television. It sounds like these gals won't even have to break a nail to make a go of it, on that front.
[Photo Credit: Paris with Aunt Kyle]
Neither From Paris With Love or Extraordinary Measures looks like the worst movie ever, but I can't stop laughing at the nondescript, January-movie averageness of the trailers; when I see even one shot of bald Travola blowing crap up or Harrison Ford being Oscarly, for me, that's a dealbreaker ladies!!! I use this expression because it applies doubly if either element somehow occurs on a date with a lady.]
Click here if you'd like to see the Harrison Ford trailer BWE refers to in the above paragraphs. It looks even worse than the Travolta flick, which I didn't think was possible! It's great to see classic stars in the twilight of their careers on the big screen. But try to take a page from Meryl Streep's book and make sure the projects are of a certain quality. You deserve it! In a side note: it's nice to see Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in a film, though I don't know if he'll ever regain his Bend It Like Beckham hotness. Something about the look in his eyes these days is very unsettling...
However, Aniston has allegedly remained unmoved by Pitt's desire to get back together. The former Friends actress, who split from the 46-year-old in 2005, is said to have insisted that he cut off all ties with Jolie before she even considers the possibility of a reunion. "Jen's made it clear she's not interested in talking to Brad until Angelina's out of his life," the insider added. "That gives more incentive to walk away from Ange now."]
I'm not sure how in the know Now is, but I think they might have to rename their publication So Four Years Ago. As for me, I'll believe it when I see it - and I don't think I'll be seeing this re-coupling anytime soon...
[Photo Credit: Dang, back in the day y'all! Don't get me wrong - I'd love to see these two back together. I just don't see it happening at this juncture. Angie would rather cut off Brad's balls than be humiliated the way Jen was...]
YOUR MAMAS NOTES: There is a long list of ladees in Tinseltown who ride the cruel merry-go-round of romance and, the wee lassies, get nothing but dizzy and tossed off onto the hard black top of life. Among those famous gals unlucky in game of love are Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson and, of course, the too sinewy former cheerleader and Oscar winner Renée Zellweger. Among her long list of high profile and erstwhile paramours (and hook ups) we have Jim Carrey, Matthew Perry, Jack White, Kenny Chesney-to whom she was married for about as long as it takes Your Mama to suck down a pitcher of gin & tonics, Luke Perry, John Krasinki, Paul McCartney, Andre Balazs, Dan Abrams and, since sometime in June of 2009, Bradley Cooper, currently one of Hollywood's hotsiest totsies.
Listen butter beans, far be it from Your Mama to cast shade on anyone's love life. Relationships are hard enough without being in the glare of the spot light and having assholes like Your Mama giving out free and unsolicited criticism and advice. But let's get real for a moment. What kind of damn fool goes buying up multi-million dollar real estate with someone to whom they've been attached for only six months? Seriously. We're sorry to say, but this lovey-dovey let's move in together situation between Miss Zellweger and Mister Cooper has all the hallmarks of romantic catastrophe, especially when you consider poor Miss Zellweger and her rather dismal track record in the love department.
It's hard to say which party is better for the other career at this point. Does the new hawt-cha-cha leading man help the not quite as successful as she used to be veteran actress or does the wildly successful, Oscar winning actress help the blossoming career of a comparative neophyte? Whichever might be the case, it doesn't hurt either of their careers that their oft in the news for the public canoodling and seemingly impulsive real estate transactions.]
Don't forget to add George Clooney to Renee's long list of celebrity bone! Those two were rumored to have dated off and on in 2001. I really like both Renee and Bradley. Renee seems like a sweetie and Bradley's had my heart ever since the underrated (but fabulous) Kitchen Confidential. However, I'm just not feeling their "romance." It's not ringing true to me - even with the nearly $5 million love shack. What do you guys think - real, fake or indifferent? By the way, wouldn't you hope for more than 3 bedrooms for that kind of cash? Something is wrong with the balance of things when Khloe Kardashian has a bigger home than an Oscar-winning actress.
In addition, the report claimed the series would include an interactive component that would -- similar to Tiffany Pollard's New York Goes to Work reality series which aired on VH1 last year -- allow viewers to determine the jobs Gosselin would undertake. "It's more like Kate Gosselin, firefighter, not Kate Gosselin, wife and homemaker," a source told TheWrap.com, which had also reported that the show would premiere in late spring or early summer.
In December, Raleigh, NC's WRAL-TV CBS affiliate filmed Gosselin serving food at Finch's Restaurant -- however the network's reporter was subsequently ushered out by her bodyguard, Steve Neild, who said they were shooting a "test" segment for an upcoming program.
A TLC spokeswoman subsequently confirmed to Entertainment Weekly that the diner shoot was being filmed as part of Gosselin's new project with the network but failed to provide additional details.]
Good thing I've got a vat of coffee available here at my NAMM press nook, otherwise this story would have me curled up in a corner sound asleep. If I miss seeing Eagles of Death Metal today, there will be hell to pay. Do you hear me, Ms. Gosselin? By the way, does anyone want to watch Kate anymore, or am I missing something?
[People Magazine Cover: Britney Spears called, she wants her extensions back. Sorry - it was too easy to pass up!]
"Elaine and Alex have been romantic for a few months, since before he and Kate ended their relationship," says an insider close to the couple, who met through friends a few years ago, but began heating up in November.
And apparently, A-Rod didn't do much to hide his affections: According to one insider, he constantly texted Elaine, even while he was with Kate. In fact, as millions of viewers watched Kate and her family cheer Alex on during the World Series, he was secretly planning sexy dates with Elaine. "Kate is devastated and feels stupid," says a friend of the actress. "She thought that she and Alex were moving toward marriage... and all the while he was not taking the relationship as seriously as she was. She never would have imagined he would cheat on her."]
If nothing else, Elaine's last name should keep the pro-athlete's attention. It certainly provokes giggles from the likes of people with third grade senses of humor like myself! A-Rod has a long history of cheating - just ask his former wife, or that crabby lady named Madonna. Kate is lovely, but she's not enough to change a man who's that dedicated to sampling as many different punany platters as possible. Is this enough for Kate to finally settle in the arms of the long-lost Owen Wilson? If it's utter devotion she's searching for, it seems like she's already found it...
[Photo Credit: Odd - he seemed so into her!]
Jay Leno almost lost The Tonight Show to David Letterman at one point. In a 1992 New York Times article, Leno completely lashed-out at NBC executives for going back on their word. After Leno's show started to build an audience, NBC almost handed over the keys of The Tonight Show to Letterman. So Jay wouldn't just get kicked off of The Tonight Show, NBC would also move him back to 12:30. Leno is justifiably outraged. So what does he do? Goes and does the same exact thing to Conan 17 years later. It's hard to imagine that this hasn't crept up into the back of Jay's head throughout this whole debacle.]
Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Where will Leno end up from taking the road most traveled? Frankly, I don't care as long as Conan finds a way to triumph.
Jessica told TMZ, "Some matters need to remain private and away from media attention...I realized we need to part ways while she deals with the loss of her fiancee." Cohen cited "recent events" as her reason for quitting. Another good excuse might have been -- 'the mounting evidence that Tila is crazy.'
On January 5, 2010, Tila's fiancee Casey Johnson, heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune, was found dead in the guest house of a residence where she was staying.]
I'm not sure if Jessica is the one who ordered the Tequila to happily pose in a tree the day after her fiance passed away - but whomever was responsible should be fired, even if it was Tila herself. Of course TT made up for it the following day by Tweeting while snapping photos of herself weeping. Whew - crisis averted! Either way, I'm not sure what took Jessica Cohen this long to bail ship - but I'm sure whatever course Tila charts for herself will be more than interesting.
[Photo Credit: Glenn Francis, via Wikipedia. Click link for info.]
The Mean Girls actress is currently bracing herself for the internet release of a private video file. According to reports, a 47-second tape of the actress frolicking naked with a mystery male is currently being around LA.
But LiLo put on a brave face last night as she attended a party for a new luxury sex toy. The star, who was lauded as a shining light and went to straight into the A-list as a teenage actress, joined Colombian Sofia Vergara at the rather tacky event. Wearing a trilby, polka dot shirt, black leggings, cropped jacket and sky-high heels at the event, she accessorised with a spider necklace and a faint hint of a smile.
The man offering around the sex video is a waiter with a well-known chain restaurant, according to the Daily Mirror. He has been told he has to release the footage to an 'offshore porn site', and it will then be available across the world.
At the beginning of the year, Lindsay wrote on Twitter about making a fresh start and was hoping to change her profile as a partying socialite.
On January 1, she told her Twitter followers: '2010 is about moving forward, not backwards. Leaving the bad (people, habbits, and negative energy behind) time to make changes-right!?!? :)'
She even made a documentary for the BBC on child poverty and women's rights in India and has been tweeting about the earthquake disaster in Haiti.
Now a source told the Mirror: 'This video file is dynamite. It is pretty seedy and shows Lindsay engaged in a particular sex act which, obviously, should remain behind closed doors.' They added: 'If and when it is released on the internet, via a spurious, unofficial website, there is absolutely nothing she or her lawyers can do about it.']
Good lord, given the company that Lohan has kept over the years it could be a myriad of suspects - this covers both possible sex partners, as well as lists of names who could be behind the release of the tape. I hope it's worth it for Lindsay, however it shakes down. It will, umm, give her some exposure either way...
Apparently, her pals insist the mom of two -- who may have been stressed last November by the rumors that her hubby, Coldplay frontman Chris Martin, was spotted kissing pal Kate Bosworth -- try it out.
"My friends who do it say it's really freakin' brilliant," she blogs. "They say you can't know the peace/awareness/contentment until you do it. My brain drives me mental. I am going to start. Tomorrow."
She asked three "amazing people" for advice on how they achieve their bliss, including filmmaker David Lynch. "I think I get it," she writes.]
I'm going to have to take a deep breath and focus on not smacking her. I'm learning already!
[Photo Credit: Smug as a bug in a rug.]
A source explains to UsMagazine.com that the Dec. 30 gathering at Roger Room was a birthday party for "one of Jason's bosses" at WME, the Hollywood agency that employs Trawick. "I used to work at WME. It was my old boss' birthday and we were all hanging out," Milana Rabkin, 22, tells UsMagazine.com exclusively. She and Trawick, she says, "worked together" recently. "We send him scripts," says Rabkin who now works at Energy Entertainment. That night at Roger Room, she and a friend joined Trawick and a married male WME colleague to talk shop.
Rabkin says she and Trawick discussed a screenplay for a potential film; "we had actually sent [the script] to him to read for Taylor Swift," she adds. "We were hanging out and catching up on that. It was purely professional."
Around 1:45 a.m., the foursome left for the Standard hotel. "We were hungry, and I really wanted to talk to Jason about the script," Rabkin explains.
"They did go to the Standard," the source confirms. "The girls and Jason's friend had food. Jason didn't. Jason then left and went home."]
And there you have it, folks! I hope this is true - it's refreshing to see Britney in a happier situation. This beats the Kevin Federline/umbrella-attack/shaved head incident by a mile!
"When you read between the lines of Angelina's words, it's tantamount to say that cheating on Brad wouldn't be a bad thing," a source told American tabloid the National Enquirer. "It's no wonder Brad's been looking for comfort in booze and trying to get back with his ex-wife Jennifer Aniston. The way he sees it, he's not good enough for Angelina so why should he even try and make an effort with her. It's a terrible blow to his self-esteem, but at least the world now knows what Angelina is really like and can finally see her true colors."
"These past few months have really taken their toll on Brad, and it's fair to say all this fighting has tuned him into a broken man," added another loose-lipped insider. "Despite everything he and Angelina have been through, Brad really wanted to work things out, for their kids' sake if nothing else. He clung on for months thinking it might be possible, but now it's obvious there's no hope of saving their relationship.. Brad's put up with so much abuse, but Angie telling the world that she thinks cheating is OK really is the final straw."]
Hijinks ensue when couples swing! And, from watching couples who've attempted this, it usually implodes in the most fantastic ways. I say go for it, Brangelina! I love this caricature of Brad as a broken man with flagging self-esteem and a drinking problem - mainly because it's got to be the furthest thing from the truth. Meanwhile, I'm disappointed to hear that the fantastic twosome won't be attending the Golden Globes. (That's the one thing I do believe in all of this.) I, much like virtually everyone else, was looking forward to a Bermuda Triangle showdown! Perhaps we'll have to wait until the Oscars... again.
[Star Magazine Cover: My favorite reader comment from the Star magazine website regarding this story is; "You can't make a whore into a housewife." Wise words, my friend.]
"I'll be doing some form of this when I'm 71," Lopez said. "This is what I do. What, because I have kids and a husband I'm not supposed to be me? I'm hyper J.Lo. Everything I wanted before, I want twice as much now. Not material things -- but to explore and think more. Being an artist doesn't start because you're 21 and it doesn't end because you're 51. You are who you are until the day you die. My manager swears I should direct. I'm like, 'I'm not ready. Maybe when I'm 71.'"]
Exploring and thinking more? Ah, delusion is a sweet, sweet drug. She's pretty generous with her opinion of herself, that's for sure! The most "entertaining" thing she's ever done is falling on her ass in the above video - and that's me being generous.
"They decided to pick it out together so Jennifer gets what she likes. She wants at least three carats, princess cut and platinum," says a pal, who adds that the two are discussing a spring wedding.
And Jennifer, 30, and 39-year-old Jamie certainly looked as if they had something to celebrate while dining with his mom, sister and brother-in-law at Jack's Firehouse on Dec. 23. Says the pal: "Everyone was in great spirits. His family has totally welcomed her into the fold, and she loves hanging out with them."]
Jennifer should invest in a diamond encrusted vibrator because "the one" she's going to end up with is herself.
"A decade ago we set out on this journey with Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire, and together we made three Spider-Man films that set a new bar for the genre. When we began, no one ever imagined that we would make history at the boxoffice, and now we have a rare opportunity to make history once again with this franchise.
"Peter Parker as an ordinary young adult grappling with extraordinary powers has always been the foundation that has made this character so timeless and compelling for generations of fans. We're very excited about the creative possibilities that come from returning to Peter's roots and we look forward to working once again with Marvel Studios, Avi Arad and Laura Ziskin on this new beginning," Sony Pictures co-chairman Amy Pascal said in a statement.
Said Raimi: "Working on the Spider-Man movies was the experience of a lifetime for me. While we were looking forward to doing a fourth one together, the studio and Marvel have a unique opportunity to take the franchise in a new direction, and I know they will do a terrific job."]
Frankly all I care about is: are they bringing James Franco into the fold for the new run? And if not, what hot tail, err fresh faces, do we have to look forward to in the future? These are the pressing issues!
"Rob and Kristen were only recognized a handful of times while in Ventnor," said one insider. "They loved it. They were able to walk around largely unnoticed -- like a normal couple. They've talked about buying a property on island for when the pressures of Hollywood get too much."
The resort town of Ventnor is a favourite among other British celebrities, including supermodel Kate Moss, comic Russell Brand, socialite Peaches Geldof and singer Amy Winehouse, because of the privacy it offers.
"Well-known artists and musicians have found that they can live normal lives in Ventnor, away from the media glare," said local resident Sally Perry. "So others tend to follow suit by choosing our lovely town for their special getaways."]
Nothing says "maintaining the privacy of the stars" like an accidental press release! Although, to be fair, this is a Department of Tourism dream. It's a rough economy and if people think they need to travel to Ventnor to spot celebrities, so be it. Now, I just need to book my ticket...
Recent reports claimed Tom and his wife, Katie Holmes, would be trying for another baby in 2010. "Both Tom and Katie desperately want a little brother or sister for Suri and they don't want to leave it too late," dished the loose-lipped insider. "Tom would like a son but either way there could be some happy news very soon."]
Of course Suri has a car that exceeds my annual salary. Why wouldn't she? Meanwhile let's take the "loose-lipped insider" to task, who also probably makes a great deal more than all of us combined. Why? Because the insider with flappy gums is most likely Tom himself. Cruise needs to admit the only thing Katie is "desperate" for is freedom.
[Photo Credit: Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, for old time's sake. You're welcome, shorty.]
Everyone, close friends included, knew Tay-Squared wasn't going to last, since the relaysh was more out of convenience than romance. So how did the two teen stars interact at last night's People's Choice Awards when the cameras weren't rolling?
We all know that Miss Swift and her mother graciously gave Tay-Tay a standing ovation when he won his People's Choice Award for favorite breakthrough actor. But was it all for show? Sources inside the theater tell us the former "lovebirds" didn't interact at all.
In fact, when Swift made her belated entrance to the awards show during a commercial break, the audience went wild for the country star--but Lautner didn't even look up! Don't think it was a dig at his former girl, though; it was so loud and crazy in there he prob just didn't even know what was going on. Right? Right.
The two stars were seated in the same section but at opposite ends from each other, so they didn't really get the opportunity to chat. Neither exactly went out of their way, though. Lautner left the show shortly after accepting his award, and Swift stayed until she won for favorite female artist, near the end of the PCAs.
Taylor insiders insist there is no bad blood between these two cuties, 'tho. We imagine that's just because neither of them really cares that much! Wish more Hollywood breakups would go this smoothly.]
I can't take the shock. Next up someone will be trying to convince me that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise aren't really in love...
But the site has now changed the approval process by making members of the opposite sex only able to vote on each other, apparently a lot of women were voting other women out so they could cut down on the competition.
Robert Hintze, who founded the website, said "As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld, Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded."
Gred Hodge, the managing director of the website says, "We were getting a lot of complaints from members who were meeting with people who gained a lot of weight or who gained weight in their photo albums."]
"Letting fatties roam the site" - I wish Robert could be more direct. It's comforting to know that a big pile of prejudice is waiting just around the corner from the holidays. If by "high standards" Robert means "complete assholes," then I think the website it doing an excellent job.
[Photo Credit: Click on the photo link for Ashley's Sports Illustrated/Sobe picture gallery. Is it worth it to mention the irony that Ashley successfully blocked nude photos that were almost leaked on the web - and then agreed to this campaign?]
WTF? What is the meaning of this? Have we learned nothing from the craptacular mess that was Mannequin 2? That feature came out in 1991 and was dubbed "one of the worst follow-ups ever made."]
All I know is that the miraculous re-interest in this flick will give Kim ample opportunity to shrug sheepishly while soaking up the spotlight. Not that any of the fabulous four from Sex & The City need any help with promotion - ladies will be flocking to the theater in droves on May 28th without needing to be provoked.
Speaking of remakes... rumor has it that Madonna was recently seen dining with her first ex-husband, Sean Penn! Details, via Evil Beet:
[Madonna's been out of the spotlight for what now, like, forty-five seconds so natch, she has to pull this kind of stunt in order to gain some relevant credibility.
She and ex-husband Sean Penn were spotted yesterday on a three-and-a-half hour siesta [sic] that involved eating and drinking and God knows what else. Madonna split with Guy Ritchie last year and Penn's on-again, off-again divorce was filed this past summer from fellow actress Robin Wright so ... do the math. I guess that means it's high time for another crazy, drug- and alcohol-fueled display of obsessive affection, don't you?]
I wouldn't put it past a publicist to release something embarrassing to stir up conversation about a client - and I definitely wouldn't put it past Madonna to reunite with Sean (even for an afternoon) to get people chattering about her. Well done - it's working right now!
"It is evident she believes her allegations even if they are patently unbelievable to an objective observer." Though what she lacked in proof and reality-based coherence, she more than made up for with shock factor.
Claim No. 1: Keanu Reeves knows kung fu hypnosis. Forget foolproof facts and science, Sala had a perfectly reasonable explanation for how Reeves managed to pass the DNA test: He used hypnosis to tamper with the results. So convinced is she of the cheating tactic, Sala requested that Reeves be made to undergo a second round of tests, to which the actor's lawyer unsurprisingly refused.
"It's much more invasive than...photographs of him on the beach," Lorne Wolfson said, adding that, should the DNA fall into the wrong hands (e.g., Sala's), it could make for a gross invasion of privacy.
Claim No. 2: Keanu Reeves is a master of disguise. Try calling him wooden now! According to Sala, the actor has used both hypnosis and an apparent mastery of shape-shifting to pass himself off as different people, including Sala's ex-husband. As for why Reeves would do such a thing? Why, in order to secretly cohabitate with Sala and be present at the births of her children, of course.
Sala, however, refuses to accept the possibility that it may actually have been her ex-husband, not the A-list actor, with whom she shared a home. She also refuses to produce her children's birth certificates or have her ex, who is listed as the kids' father in their divorce proceedings, undergo a DNA test to prove his paternity.
"Her evidence is, at best, incredible," Wolfson said. "There is clearly no triable issue." As for the home-sharing claim, Wolfson said Reeves "hasn't cohabitated with the applicant for a minute, let alone three years."
Claim No. 3: Keanu Reeves is not Keanu Reeves. Theirs is a bond clearly steeped in history. Sala claims she has known the actor since she was 4 years old, alleging that he grew up just down the street from her. The hitch was, according to Sala, that back then Reeves was going by the name Marty Spencer (he wasn't). She claimed it was only years later that she connected them as the same man (they aren't).
"I didn't know he was Keanu Reeves," she said. "To me he was Marty Spencer." It is with Spencer/Reeves that she claims she carried on a sexual relationship before, during and after her marriage.]
Though Keanu Reeves is known for such blockbusters as Point Break and Speed, clearly his most outstanding role was as a shapeshifting rogue named Marty Spencer. And, to see photos of Karen, it's clear why he would do anything and everything to be with the blonde stunner. Case: closed.
A hotel worker said: "He had organised a special dining experience. We set a table in a garden with candles everywhere. They arrived in a horse and carriage with a glass of champagne and we served them dinner. At midnight they enjoyed fireworks while sitting on an elephant, which Mr Brand specially requested. Then they were taken to the Mughal Garden - which was decorated by flowers and candlelight. Mr Brand had given his butler the diamond ring to hide among the flowers. Miss Perry found it, he proposed, and she immediately said 'Yes'. After that they requested 45 minutes' privacy. They looked like they were beautifully in love."
Following the proposal Russell, clad in black jeans and a black shirt, took his fiancee back to the presidential suite, where they could enjoy the sunken Jacuzzi and circular bed.
Rumors are circulating that the couple will be married within the next 6 months. Brand's manager will be his best man and Katy's guest list will include Rihanna and Taylor Swift.]
I love the specified "45 minutes of privacy." As if this story wasn't filled with more than we ever needed to know. It's gonna be a bitch when reality intrudes on their lives, but in the meantime it sounds like a blast. There is already trouble in paradise - mine, that is. Let's just say there was no elephant involved when my fiance proposed to me...
[Photo Credit: He built this for me!]
A private jet delivered Lindsay to a private yacht last week, so how did she end up braving flight delays, security checkpoints and crowded terminals with the masses?
Last Thursday Lindsay flew to St. Barts in luxury with now-former best friend mop-haired stylist Patrick Aufdenkamp and another friend, Jessica Schul. The trio rang in the New Year together, but Lindsay's resolution for a drama-free 2010 fell through before the trip was over. Patrick allegedly betrayed Lindsay by stealing her sketches for her upcoming 6126 line. He denied the charges, claiming he is "way too creative of an individual" to do something so foolish. "Everyone will know the truth soon enough," he tweeted.
Anyway, the former BFFs made their way back to the US separately and while Patrick landed in JFK to cheers of "Team Patrick!," Lindsay's trip didn't go so smoothly.
"Us Airways - don't fly them," she warned Tuesday afternoon before missing her connecting flight from Charlotte to New York, a move for which she would be punished with ten hours in the passenger seat of a Hertz rental car with nothing but Sirius radio to entertain her.]
Click here for more information, including Lohan's travelogue and Tweets. Of course she Twittered about it - the world hasn't ended yet! Lindsay's trip home doesn't surprise me as much as the fact that she was invited in the first place. Although it does kind of make sense, with the amount of celebrities who were also in attendance at this crazy, ill-advised party. They were probably hoping Lohan would do something nutso to distract from the rest of the naughty that was supposedly going down. Plan = fail.
[Photo Credit: Private jets rock - I assume.]
In fact, Paris reveals, she's ready to feel like the ultimate princess -- by walking down the aisle as a blushing bride. "I wouldn't rule out a wedding in 2010," she says. "With how amazing everything is going between us, I see a very bright and happy future." Doug, 25, is already lavishing Paris with attention -- and gifts galore. "Doug and I have shared so many amazing and special moments," Paris gushes. (via Life & Style)]
Do those "special moments" include the screaming matches where the cops where called? Nothing signifies "amazing" like when the LAPD shows up. I can't decide who gives better blow jobs, Paris or Life & Style. Meanwhile, the "onetime party gal" who has "shared so many amazing and special moments" with "Doug" will have to work extra hard to get her wedding-plan point across. I don't think a lip-glossed press release will do the trick. I'm talking about some tequila and a sharp shovel blow to the head. When Doug (or Paris - I can't decide which one) comes to, he/she will already be at the church. Bingo - nuptials sans shotguns or pesky, laboriously placed "idea generators."
[Photo Credit: I don't want to spoil it, but I think this is her bridal gown.]
"Well, it is a little bit frustrating. It was funny; when the Oscars were on, I had just given birth on the 22nd, and the Oscars, I think, were a day or two later. I was sitting there with my twins--I couldn't have been happier--but I was like, 'How dope would it have been if I would've won the Oscar and been here in my hospital bed accepting the award?' 'Thank you so much! I just want to thank the academy!']
It must be difficult to be a guy involved with J.Lo - she's got bigger balls than any man I know. By the way Academy, apparently you're not doing you're job - according to Jennifer. Clearly Maid in Manhattan didn't suitably tip you off to the stellar acting skillz of Diva de la Lopez. For shame!
Carey, in a skin-tight, black-beaded full-length Herve Leger gown, was escorted onto the stage Tuesday night, and at the podium, greeted her presenter and "Precious" director Lee Daniels with a little dance and a big hug.
Carey hesitated for a few seconds, looked to the ceiling, sighed and said, "Please forgive me, because I'm a little bit, um ..." An audience member finished the sentence for her with an obscenity, to which Carey replied, "Yeah!" adding a long, hearty laugh.]
It's going to be a race for me to gain enough credibility in Hollywood to be able to vote in time for the upcoming Academy Awards, but I'm going to do it. It's the lengths I'm willing to go in order to provide you with optimum entertainment - and if it includes personal sacrifice, then so be it.
It seems that PETA is more than willing to consistently burn through any goodwill they may earn. This time the alleged bad behavior has gone all the way to the top - PETA's anti-fur campaign included Michelle Obama, without her consent. She's the first-freakin'-lady of the United States! Did the animal rights organization think no one would notice if they used Michelle's image without her permission? Details, via Gone Hollywood:
[The White House didn't take too kindly to the ad, which was released today shows Carrie Underwood, Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey and Tyra Banks along with the slogan "Fur-Free and Fabulous!" Semonti Stephens, a spokeswoman for the First Lady said "we did not consent." She then went on to say that "Mrs. Obama does not wear fur."
PETA are now using this to their advantage and saying "the fact is that Michelle Obama has issued a statement indicating that she doesn't wear fur, and the world should know that in PETA's eyes, that makes her pretty fabulous."]
Of course this is the group that infamously urged Ben&Jerry's to use breast milk instead of cow milk in their ice cream - so, you know credibility isn't exactly their bag. It really is a shame because the impetus of the cause is a good one. Unfortunately today brings another swarm of negative, albeit free, publicity.
[Photo Credit: Obviously First Lady Obama did not consent to be in this ad. I wonder which of the other celebs in this lineup also were surprised to see their image released today?]
The 26-year-old actress was reportedly too thin for the part and there were fears should would make co-star Russell Crowe look bad during some of the intimate scenes. Crowe, 44, has not shed the four stone he gained for his role in the recent Body Of Lies, where he played a former journalist who hunts down terrorists from his armchair.
Fearing his older, gutsier Robin would look 'laughable' alongside her petit Marian, Miller was canned from 'Nottingham', a £110million remake of the Robin Hood tale. An insider told the New York Post: 'It is a mess. Russell never lost the weight he put on for Body Of Lies and so the love scenes between him and Sienna would have been laughable. He's so old and fat and she's so young and gorgeous.
'Word is that producers are "looking for an older, plumper actress to play the role so Crowe doesn't look like a paunchy grandpa. Someone in her late 30s or early 40s".' Things just seem to be going from bad to worse for Sienna Miller of late.
In November she was dropped from Guy Ritchie's movie Sherlock Holmes - apparently after her ex, Jude Law, agreed to play Dr Watson. She also faced a torrent of criticism over her affair with married billionaire Balthazar Getty, 33.]
Oh, what a difference a year makes! Is it ironic that Jude and Sienna reunited in time for the Sherlock Holmes premiere (though, admittedly, he didn't take her to the red carpet event)? I guess she didn't hold any hard feelings about being dropped from the film. She's getting something else hard from Jude, so I'm sure that cancels out the grumpies! Now, my only question is - how does recasting the role of Maid Marion with Cate Blanchett fulfill the "older, plumper" requirement?
And while we never thought this was possible, it appears her new hair is, shockingly, worse than the porcupine cut for which she has become famous. Not only does it look horribly fake, but Gosselin still seems to have the same short cut as always, only this time she has one massive hair-piece attached to the back of it.
"It's good to have hair again," Kate tells People. "I never thought I'd have short hair for as long as I did. I feel like this is a fresh start, a fresh me, a fresh life." Later, she refers to herself as the new "Kate Clean Slate." "I'm rebuilding. There's no option for this not to be a good year. Now I get to start over with a new self and new goals."]
I love that she puts her name first in front of "clean slate" - despite the fact that, as Celebitchy pointed out, "Clean Slate Kate" flows much better. Kate, you can glue all the extra human hair to your skull that you want - it still will not erase the dirty of a decade of sexual intercourse with Jon Gosselin. Sure, Skeevemeister kept it in his pants for the majority of your union - but he was always lurking...
At November's MTV Europe Music Awards, Perry paid tribute to Brand via her on-stage underpants, emblazoned with his nickname, "Rusty." Of their romance, a friend tells Us that Perry has "never connected with anybody like this." As for Brand, the Forgetting Sarah Marshall star "is super into her. She says he makes her laugh like nobody else in the world," an insider says.]
Meanwhile, just as a reminder, this is what Russell Brand recently said regarding the qualities a future bride of his would have to have in order to nab him - via The Mirror UK:
["I'm fed up with having fling after fling - I'm looking for The One," he said. "I haven't found love yet because I've been looking in the wrong places all these years. Now I'm desperately seeking her. I'm a bit worried, as it will be difficult for them. They will have to tolerate my insanity and madness. I want someone who will take care of me. They will have to be a nice down-to-earth girl who will look after me. It will be a tough job for her but I'm looking hard now."]
Well, there's a hot offer if I've ever heard one! Certainly stranger things have happened, but a suddenly reformed bad boy and a proposal after a four-month dating period don't exactly smack of commitment or reform. Just because Russell has found someone he enjoys repeatedly sleeping with over the (inter)course of a few consecutive months does not a marriage make. I actually think they make a cute, albeit odd, couple. I do predict that Katy will break his heart, leaving Brand a changed man. I mean aren't there drama filled rom-coms about crap like this? The player finally gets his heart broken, which enables him to come to terms with his previously selfish existence. I'm waiting for the E! True Hollywood Story: The Deepening of Russell Brand. In the meantime, congrats!
One of LiLo's friends said that Pootie (gesundheit!) is launching his own fashion line in NYC next month and is planning to use her designs. Everything Pooti knows he learned from watching Bold and the Beautiful.
The friend added, "It's horrible. He was her best friend. He has always used her, and she's been warned to never trust him. Lindsay is a good friend and likes to see the good in people. She didn't want to believe how bad Patrick's energy was, and how false his friendship has always been with her." LiLo confirmed to Us Weekly that she's parted ways with Pooti, "I should've known better. But new year for me and a new beginning! Health, happiness, success and love!"]
Click here to see a photo of Pooti. Oh, Lindsay. There's so, so much you "should've known better" about - this doesn't even touch the top ten. Don't you know someone nicknamed "Pooti" is virtually guaranteed to steal from you? If it's not your heart, it'll be sketchings for your clothing line. By the way, won't the stolen designs be fairly obvious? Anything shredded that's laced with coke and stained with tanning spray should be a dead giveaway...
Now Kyla's got more problems - it seems Vince isn't prepared to give up his frat boy ways. Kyla is "fed up" with Vince's partying and his douchebag friends, and she thinks Vince is out there hooking up with random girls all of the time. Vince tries to console Kyla by telling her he's never strayed, but she doesn't believe him (I wouldn't either). Doesn't Vince seem like one of those guys who, when he wants to break up with a girl, starts treating her like crap so she'll break up with him? I think that's what's happening with Vince and Kyla. He's not ready to settle down, he doesn't want to give up his friends or stand up to his mother, so he's just waiting until Kyla breaks off the engagement. Run, Kyla, run!]
Okay, so maybe it's not the love story of the year - but we're only five days in, so give it some time! Although if the mother-in-law stories are true, that would be an absolute deal-breaker for a lot of women I know. Same with the womanizing, frat-partying predilections. Actually this whole thing is starting to sound like a terrible idea. Perhaps Vince should take the George Clooney route. The self-confirmed bachelor swears he'll never marry again - at least everyone knows what they're getting into when the sign up to hang with Clooney.
And no reality show would be complete these days without an Osbourne. Others competing for charity on the show include mama Sharon Osbourne, along with female competitors Cyndi Lauper, Holly Robinson Peete, Selita Ebanks, Maria Kanellis, Carol Leifer and Summer Sanders. The men include: Darryl Strawberry, Bret Michaels, Goldberg, Michael Johnson, Rod Blagojevich, Sinbad and Curtis Stone.]
It's clear that he needs to form an alliance with Sharon Osbourne - but history proves he'll most likely snuggle up to former Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks. And that's totally cool. It's unconditional love, from here on out...
[Photo Credit: by Matt Becker, via Wikipedia]
Rob, 22, did not provide any details on who he was unfaithful with, although he was romantically-linked to adult film star Lisa Ann (of Nailin' Paylin fame) as recently as November. Adrienne, for her part, has moved on. The 26-year-old New York native is currently dating an unidentified man, who she was seen texting throughout last night's show.]
I can't decide what is funnier - Rob's alleged Nailin' Paylin (link is safe for work) hookup or his "hectic school schedule." That guy appears to be bustin' some ass - it's just not clear whose...
[Photo Credit: Rob and Adrienne, before Paylin "came" between them.]
I may have gotten my wish - Fame Pictures snapped some photos of Megan with some mysteriously plumper lips on New Year's Day. Fame put the photos up against photos of Megan from less than two months ago, and it's pretty clear she's gotten plumped very recently. Of course, Fame added this bitchy note: "She's looking more like Angelina!" Gah! Doesn't Fame Pictures know that Megan wants to be the contradiction of stoic, unfunny Angelina?!?
In other Megan Fox news, our reigning Worst Actress of the Year is considered a frontrunner in the Worst Actress Razzies. The Los Angeles Times also predicts that Megan will be up against Beyonce (for Obsessed), Sandra Bullock (for All About Steve) and Miley Cyrus (for anything, I guess - no, wait, one of those Hannah Montana movies) amongst others (cough cough Kristen Stewart cough).]
Click here for the pictures that document the lip-plumping sighting. I do have to hand it to Megan - she's able to manipulate the media into writing about her, even when she's done absolutely nothing. I know I always fall for it! Yet another thing she has in common with Angelina? Women, for the most part, do not like Fox. How long do we have to wait before she pulls a Jolie and nabs a married man? If Brian Austin Green is smart, he'll marry someone else. That would ensure Megan would be his forever!
Burke, 25, bragged to friends the Sherlock Holmes star phoned at Christmas to arrange a visit "within a few weeks". "She's over the moon. She was hurt he had not seen Sophia," a source told British newspaper the News of The World.
Sam, the insider said, hopes she can rekindle her romance with Jude -- even though he is back with former flame Sienna Miller. "She told us they would get back together but I think Jude just feels a responsibility to his daughter," revealed the insider. "Sam is also considering moving to London. It could be the career chance she wanted." Jude has three other children with ex-wife Sadie Frost.]
It's natural to feel full of love over the holidays - especially when one is getting hot-n-heavy with a lover. All I can say is that goodwill is going to dry up when Jude realizes he's reopened the door to crazy. Samantha has deluded herself into thinking that Law wants to know her and (somehow) raise a child with her. Just because she got pregnant with the ease of falling off a horse does not mean there was any love involved. In some refreshing news, Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend, Camila Alves, welcomed a baby girl yesterday. Vida Alves McConaughey is preceded by her adorable brother, Levi. Having a second child with the same woman? The one Matthew has been involved with exclusively for years? Sounds pretty tame for a dude who loves playing bongos in the nude! Jude, take note...
[Photo Credit: Oh, dear...]