Paris Hilton is a master of subtlety, as we all know. It might be difficult for her boyfriend/pet, Doug "El Douche" Reinhardt to pick up on these little clues of what his "lady" wants - especially with heavily veiled hints like this:

[Onetime party girl Paris Hilton is making the ultimate New Year's resolution: to settle down with her beau of nearly a year, Doug Reinhardt. "We've been together a year now and never spend a night apart," Paris told Life & Style's Kevin Dickson in an exclusive interview on Dec. 28. "He's truly become my best friend. He makes me feel like a princess every day."

In fact, Paris reveals, she's ready to feel like the ultimate princess -- by walking down the aisle as a blushing bride. "I wouldn't rule out a wedding in 2010," she says. "With how amazing everything is going between us, I see a very bright and happy future." Doug, 25, is already lavishing Paris with attention -- and gifts galore. "Doug and I have shared so many amazing and special moments," Paris gushes. (via Life & Style)]

Do those "special moments" include the screaming matches where the cops where called? Nothing signifies "amazing" like when the LAPD shows up. I can't decide who gives better blow jobs, Paris or Life & Style. Meanwhile, the "onetime party gal" who has "shared so many amazing and special moments" with "Doug" will have to work extra hard to get her wedding-plan point across. I don't think a lip-glossed press release will do the trick. I'm talking about some tequila and a sharp shovel blow to the head. When Doug (or Paris - I can't decide which one) comes to, he/she will already be at the church. Bingo - nuptials sans shotguns or pesky, laboriously placed "idea generators."

[Photo Credit: I don't want to spoil it, but I think this is her bridal gown.]

It's A Nice Day For A Pink Wedding

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