Stop Everything!

jessica-simpson-farts-us-weekly.jpgJessica Simpson farted. In public. At a business meeting. And it's very big news! I feel bad for Jessica and I know I'm not helping matters by becoming the millionth person to blog about this incident. What can I say? I have no willpower! We'll hear first from Us Weekly, who "broke" the story: 

[Let's end this meeting on a high note! A source tells Us Weekly that Jessica Simpson had a, ahem, windy moment during a business meeting for her denim line in late January. "While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart," says the insider. "Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, 'Jessica!' The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say."

It wasn't Simpson's first brush with public flatulence: She famously cut loose on an episode of Newlyweds, telling then-husband Nick Lachey, "You love my stinky ass," and professed her fondness for between-the-sheets poots (a.k.a. Dutch ovens) to a radio station in 2008.] 

Jesus - TMI! And, in the interest of too much information, let's share more! Here's Michael K. from D-Listed, regarding the emission heard 'round the world: 

[Shut down your computers and pack your things, because nothing can outdo this. Us Weekly won the fight. CNN, HuffPo, TMZ, People, Radar and the rest can all take the day off and try again tomorrow. This is all the news we need to know today. Put your RSS feeds to bed. If Billy Goat Brad shaved off his beard, left St. Angie and ran off to marry Jennifer Aniston in a ceremony officiated by Tiger Woods, it still wouldn't make a bigger story than this. Done and done.]

I think the funniest thing about this whole "story" is the fact that the phrase "Dutch ovens" appeared in Us Weekly. This really makes Jessica's chili cook-off performance all the more poignant. Ah, Jess! First a brief fling with Billy Corgan and now this "trumpeting" news. Let's aim for a little good press, shall we?

[Photo Credit: Image from Us Weekly, via D-Listed]

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