February 2010 Archives

1.) Have you met your goal in playing the "Dead Guy" in a CSI or Law & Order episode? If so, what episodes? If not, how can we help?

Well, I haven't actually hit that goal of being on Law and Order; but I have really exceeded every expectation a person could ever dream of. I keep hoping Law and Order will come calling. However, my goal was just one role, in one TV show or movie, and now I have been in over a dozen projects. I am a six-foot, chubby, bald Cinderella. LOL

Hey! Here is the email for the casting director of Law & Order Criminal Intent criminalintent8@gmail.com. Let's ALL send her an email asking to have Dead Body Guy Chuck Lamb as a guest corpse.

2.) How does your wife feel about this endeavor and will she ever be a "Dead Body Woman?"

She's the reason all of this started!! I told her about my dream of being in the credits [of a film or television program] and she asked how I was going to get it done. I told her I didn't know, but that very night I had a dream that I was HOMER SIMPSON laying dead and Lenny from Law & Order was saying a wise-crack above me. I woke her up from a dead sleep, put my hands on my hips like a Super Hero and told her I could be "DEAD BODY GUY!" We then started taking pictures of me playing dead, and I built the website.

Less than six weeks later we were on the cover of the New York Times and appearing on every news and talk show you can think of. It just started snowballing. We could never have imagined we would get over 50 Million hits from 155 different countries, from people supporting us and helping me live out my dream.

3.) We saw the trailer for Horrorween and it boasts that it will be the next Zombie cult film. Is that a fair statement? It's been filming for six years - have you been involved since the beginning?

Yes. The producer of Horrorween, Ed Meyer, saw me on The TODAY Show during my first appearance [and cast me thereafter]. I have been to Toronto and Hollywood, participating in casting calls for the movie and getting to meet many of the cameo stars. The movie has had highs and lows - it's been both exciting and struggling at times. Things are much better now that Joe Estevez [Martin Sheen's brother] has come on board as director. I think Horrorween will be talked about for months after its release. As far as the next BIG CULT MOVIE... you never know what's going to be the 'next big thing.' Look at me. We had no idea this would explode like it has until the phone starting ringing off of the hook from radio stations, magazines, newspapers and talk shows.

4.) What was it like meeting Adrienne Barbeau; one of the original Scream Queens from the '80s?

She's a DOLL BABY! Time has served Adrienne well. We got to chat for a bit when I was asked to do The Fangoria convention in Burbank, CA. She's a true "fan's actress" as she will take time to speak with anyone, pose for photos or talk about her book. I noticed that most actors and people that do the horror conventions are great people to get to know. They go out of their way to make the fan's experience a memorable one. I personally wore out a pair of jeans falling down on the carpet taking 'Dead Photos' with fans and friends. I also got to sit down and talk to the original dead guy, Terry Kiser from Weekend at Bernie's, at an autograph show we were both asked to do. I was asked to be guest host on STARZ Comedy Channel on April Fool's Day to introduce the Weekend at Bernie's marathon. We did about 10 vignettes of me dying and they were shown all day. You can see the footage on my website.

5.) If you could play the "Dead Guy" in any film, upcoming or already made, who would it be?

Easy one for me - TOMBSTONE! My favorite movie of all time. Kurt Russell, Val Kilmer, Sam Elliott and Bill Paxton. Bill plays Morgan Earp and he dies on the pool table; that's the best dead I've ever seen! Kurt Russell grabs his face, yells at him and wiggles his cheeks - and Bill never flinches. 5 STARS Bill, for being the ultimate Dead Guy.

6.) Any scoops you'd like to share with us about celebrities you've worked with? Who do you desire/aspire to work with?

Hmmm, lemme see. First thought when I read this question was these:

Amanda Bynes = cutie pie and great, funny person. Jennie Garth = Same thing. She was so nice to me when I did What I Like About You, even though the producer cut me out entirely - except for my bald head. Thanks Drew Brown!

The producer, Ed Meyer, is the cheapest man I have ever met in my entire life. He drives a special imported Smart Car that gets almost 70 miles per gallon and he never puts more than $10 worth of gas in it at a time.

I heard Mickey Rooney say the "F" word at an autograph signing.

All in all, in the short amount of time I've been in Hollywood, it's been nothing short of wonderful. I still get butterflies anytime I get around any of my idols. It has been a true dream come true to meet some and talk with some of them.

7.) What's it like being on the set of a movie? Who's at the top of your wish list for directors?

I have learned many things since being on a set the first time. Things like extras are not supposed to speak with the A list actors, unless spoken to first. Never ask for autographs or photos. The main stars eat first when it's time to eat. It's a totally different world than I ever imagined. I found myself hanging out with the extras more than the stars because they still have the dream and desire I have. Even when I had my own trailer I never was in it. I'm still enamored by Hollywood and they magic of it. Most actors that have been in the business for a while get complacent, I think. As for directors, I'd have to go with Ron Howard. I hear he is wonderful to work with and doesn't mind teaching as well as directing; which is great for a sort-of newbie like me. I WANT TO DO A WESTERN!

8.) Were you prepared for the attention when the "Dead Actor" idea first broke? Do you desire fame? What is the ultimate goal?

I never thought "DeadBodyGuy" would spread like it did. We were totally caught off guard. We actually had The Today show, Good Morning America and the Early Show on the telephone all at once. I was getting so frustrated with all of their fast talk; I threatened to throw my cell phone out the window!! We finally settled on The TODAY Show and have been on it 3 times total now.

I have to tell you, I absolutely LOVE all of the attention!! Fame? I don't want to sound like a prima donna, but fame doesn't suck! It's fun to be noticed and meet new people. I was featured in the National Examiner tabloid. Two full pages. My wife called to let me know about it while I was flying home from doing the movie Stiffs with Danny Aiello and Lesley Ann Warren. I went straight to the newsstand at the Baltimore airport to see the paper. She called me back 20 minutes later and by then I had a line waiting for me to sign copies. She asked me how they all knew I was in it and I said laughingly. "I TOLD THEM!"  LOL

The ultimate goal was to see my name on the Big Screen and we knocked it out of the park by the support of millions of new friends. Now, I just hope to be an inspiration to anyone out there that has a dream. Think outside of the box. Never Give Up. Never Quit Living Your Dream!! It CAN be DONE!!

I have started a new web adventure called Talent Overload. You can find it at www.TalentOverload.com. It's a place where anyone, with any type of talent, can show off their talents to the world. It's my way of saying "thank you" to the millions of people who supported me in my quest of being "Dead Body Guy." Please check it out! Maybe I can help someone else live out a dream.

9.) Do you wish to transition into more speaking parts, like ThanksKilling, or do you want to stick with "Dead Body Guy?"

I would love to have more speaking roles. My wife thinks I would be magnificent in speaking roles; she always tells me I never shut up. I'd be perfect. As a matter of fact, I was just cast in Ed Meyer's and Ojani Noa's new movie about Ojani's life and his time being married to Jennifer Lopez. [See link on PLP, directly below this post, for more info.] I'll be playing the head of Sony records.

The guy from the New York Times said I was the chattiest dead man he ever met.

ThanksKilling was too much fun. It's a movie that I honestly believe will be talked about for years to come, and I hope it will be an annual event for people to watch during Thanksgiving. [Editor's Note: You've got my vote! It's on my list of "Annual Movies To Watch."]

10.) Is it challenging to look like you're not breathing while playing dead? Any tricks of the trade?

I think it's best just to relax; close your eyes about halfway shut and think of calming thoughts. Funny, a reporter asked me once what I was thinking of doing next. I told him I was thinking about writing a book. He said, "Oh really, are you an author?" I grinned back and said "Heck no! But I'm not an actor either and look at me now!"

We can all achieve whatever we want with the right mindset, innovative thoughts and a good attitude.

This concludes our time with Chuck Lamb... for now! Please check out his links above for more inspiration and information. I never thought simply watching a movie on Netflix would end up influencing my life an such an amazing fashion. The power of Twitter - use it today! 

[Photo Credit Top: Chuck Lamb, playing dead.] 

[Photo Credit Bottom: ThanksKilling poster. The movie that started this crazy journey, resulting in an Internet friendship with DeadBodyGuy!]

She's currently back in Los Angeles, and back to partying every night of the week. According to People, Lohan has been out the last three nights. Not exactly what we'd expect for someone trying to revamp their tarnished image.

Sources say Lindsay kicked off the week by going to Teddy's, where Samantha Ronson happened to be spinning that night. Lindsay proceeded to request a table near Ronson and was denied. She was "a total mess," a witness says. "She looked really drunk when she arrived and seemed so out of it."

Things continued at nightclub Bardot on Tuesday, with Lindsay reportedly arrived after 1am. But Sam made sure Lindsay stayed away, by asking security to stay by her side all night. "She wouldn't leave, and at the end of the night, you could tell she was waiting for Sam," the source says, adding that Lohan texted her ex, who ignored the message. "They never talked at all, though, and Sam was definitely avoiding [her]," the source says.

Strike three occurred Wednesday night at Chateau Marmont. Eyewitnesses say Lindsay was acting "aloof" - though this time Sam wasn't there. Now Lindsay's friends are speaking up. "She needs help. She needs to solve her problems," a source close to the star says. "She's just not taking care of herself."

We all know what Michael Lohan thinks about his daughter! And now her friends are finally speaking out, as well as Samantha Ronson. When will Lindsay learn that no one believes her "sober" act? She's desperate for attention and the fame she once had. Sadly, she's not going to find either of those things at a nightclub.] 

The world needs to stop spinning for one second so Lindsay can hop off and rejoin us when she's cleaned up her act. Society only needs one Courtney Love - and even that's one too many. 

[Photo Credit]

The woman featured in the tape, Lastonia Leviston, is royally miffed, too. She has filed a lawsuit in New York on Wednesday accusing the rapper of posted the film that she made in 2008 on his official website.

She claims that 50 Cent blurred out her partner's face and then altered the video to make it look like he was in the footage as Curly.

She is suing for the unauthorized use of her name and image, as well as the emotional distress caused by the video's release.]

Hint to 50: the footage isn't usually what you insert yourself into when making a sex tape. How many starlets will now come forward with similar news? "That wasn't me - someone cut and pasted my face into that video!" Call it the 50 Cent sex tape defense. Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian are not eligible. That ship has sailed, ladies!

[Photo Credit: 50 Cent with Val Kilmer. Val has nothing to do with the sex tape scandal, I just thought it was a funny picture.] 

Anna Faris and Jennifer Garner are rumored to star in the movie already being labeled as "the female Hangover". I'm going to take a wild guess and assume that Jennifer Garner will play the uptight cousin. Does she do anything besides uptight these days?]

I think "uptight" paired with "Garner" is being generous. "Permanent stick up the ass" doesn't even cover it. A few more details from NBC Philadelphia: 

[Faris and Garner are a bizarre duo, as anyone can see. Garner is the sort of safe, nice, friendly blandly gorgeous woman that typically populates just-add-water Hollywood comedies -- 30 Going on 13, The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past -- she lacks a certain edge. Even in films like Juno, she's cast because she is so vanilla. Faris, on the other hand, is the strangely hot girl with a goofy smile you cast when you want to go weird, dark or both -- Observe and Report, for example.

This project, based on the novel of the same name by Karen McCullah Lutz -- who is also writing the script and previously penned Legally Blonde and The Ugly Truth, among others -- has been kicking around for three years without gaining much traction. The success of The Hangover was apparently enough to get it back on track.

Garner and Lutz are less than inspiring, notwithstanding Lutz's Blonde success. But Nicole Kidman was once thinking about starring/producing and Faris' possible involvement gives it hope. Until this thing gets a director, the jury's out on whether it is going to work.]

So, the good news is that my assumptions have been challenged. I was of the mindset that this script was a hastily penned answer to the already established guy's hit. The bad news is that The Ugly Truth (costarring Kathryn Heigl and Gerard Butler) is one of the worst films I've ever seen - and I have a high threshold for pain. Let's hope this Vegas bachelorette party gone awry was penned in Lutz's Legally Blonde days. The ladies deserve to enjoy Sin City.

[Photo Credit: Anna Faris, left. Jennifer Garner, right.]

Editor's Note: I forgot to add that a "female Hangover" already exists! It's called Spring Breakdown and it's frickin' hilarious. Not only that, it's jam-packed with stars. The cast boasts Parker Posey, Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, Missi Pyle, Jane Lynch, Amber Tamblyn and Sophie Monk - to name a few. Unfortunately it was released straight to DVD and didn't receive the recognition it deserves. It's available to watch instantly on Netflix. I highly recommend that you check it out!

Somebody also asked Kendra recently if she would pose for Playboy again, now that she's no longer Hef's girlfriend and she's had a baby. Kendra was remarkably conservative and low-key about the prospect, saying: "If I were asked, it'd be a hard decision, but I'd lean toward no. The Playboy chapter of my life is now closed. I would definitely model, but I don't think I would pose nude. I'm on to the next chapter of being a mom and a wife." Aw... that's kind of sweet. Considering she was the girl who got naked and soaped herself up in a Las Vegas hotel suite for the cameras, I think this might be progress.]

Ah, Kendra! How I love you - let me count the ways. Actually, let me letter the ways. A quote from Wilkinson herself: 

[I went from a 34C to an E. I had never even heard of that in my life. I'm on the E! Network, and I'm an E cup!]

Nietzsche would have competition, if he were alive. As it turns out, she's most likely neck and neck with Jessica Simpson...

[Photo Credit]

"do you ever feel like spite hate fucking @johncmayer just to put hi in his place, hes a better guitarist than me but not better in bed !" Love tweeted. "but like say your fucking @johncmayer totally throwing him around the room in bits and then you just BAM punch him in the face? good times"

Love took special issue with Mayer's comments on his sex life with his famous girlfriends.

"ive said far stupider shit than @johncmayer about my alist bfs tho ive been discreet. but about rockers i spill the beans," she continued.

Even though she feels Mayer deserves a good hate f***, Love says he's not really her type.

"oh dudes Mayers a little bland for me and youngish ill do young, but hes neither Yale Harvard Oxford and hes not really rock, so not for me," she wrote. And to a fan who asked her to clarify hate f***ing, she wrote, "hate fucking is an art like 'the pit' meaning you rape each other and then beat the shit our of each other so u can feel shit."

Although Mayer has resurfaced on Twitter after swearing to "quit the media game" two weeks ago, he has not addressed Love's comments. If he ever takes Love up on her offer, he might experience another powerful vagina.]

This might finally be enough to quiet John Mayer, if we're lucky. Though, knowing him, he's probably searching for a Teflon condom, with his fingers poised on the keyboard of his computer...

[Photo Credit: Goods on display.]

"I don't think they ever had a problem with the CG," Cameron said. "Honestly, did I go out and try to woo them? No. I had my heart set on Sam. Maybe they sensed my lack of 100 percent commitment from me. Maybe it was the subject matter. This was a big Star Wars-type movie. They're both serious actors."
Instead, Sam Worthington -- who was living in his car while struggling to become an actor -- got the part. Cameron tells the Times that he only approached big-name stars to please the movie studio, but Worthington was always his first choice.

Worthington has already signed up for the sequel to the flick, which has earned more than $2.5 billion in theaters worldwide. Gyllenhaal, 29, next stars in Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. Damon, 39, is up for best actor in a supporting role for drama Invictus.]

No one rejects James! Something tells me the terrible script and the giant ego of a certain director probably factored heavily into the decisions of both Damon and Gyllenhaal. Something also tells me that both actors will bounce out of this unscathed, with lengthy careers in tact...

[Photo Credit: Pic spot goes to Jake - because who could resist this?]

A witness to the alleged infidelity is cab driver Andi Watson, who claims that he drove them to the stripper's abode on December 29th of last year. "They kissed and touched each other in the cab," said Watson. And when he came back an hour and a half after dropping them off, "they were more romantic than before, kissing a lot more and hugging each other."

When they dropped off Matthew, the driver overheard the ho bragging to all her friends who she has just effed! clASSY!

Matthew denies that the event ever occurred, but the information suggests that the two have has sex on multiple occasions and the doting father loves to pAArty.]

A few more damning, dirt deets via The National Enquirer: 

[Stefani Talbott, 26, who danced at the Stars Cabaret club in Bend, confessed to the ENQUIRER: "Yes, I've been having an affair with Matthew Fox. We had sex together. I've kept voice mails and text messages from him." Stefani has told others of her incredible boasts about her alleged sexual exploits with the actor.


Yet the actor vehemently denies he had a sexual relationship with Stefani.
"Matthew's partying is out of control. He's boozing and carrying on with women. His carousing is at an all-time high," a source revealed.]

Welcome to the club, Matthew. I hear you get a mounted deer head with every stripper notch on your belt. Difficult to explain to the wife - but I'm sure you "hunt." Right?

[Photo Credit: Stoic and sunburned. A favorite combo.]

The double K logo on Kim's fragrance bottles bears a striking resemblance to the double K logo of a jewelry line called Korcula. In fact, back in 2008, Korcula creator Lindley Bertin sent Kardashian one of the gold necklaces shown above as a gift (pic here). Bertin thought Kardashian would love the fact that the Korcula brand's logo included her initials, and she was right: Kim was seen wearing the necklace, and Bertin was flattered.

That is, of course, until she saw Kardashian's perfume bottes come out this year. Bertin told StyleList, "I am disappointed that someone would take something from me that I put so much time, energy, and money into creating." The designer feels that the Kardashian fragrance logo is a rip-off of her own, and has enlisted the help of mega-lawyer David Boies to resolve the matter.]

Evidence? Damning. But it's Kim we're talking about, and she's already going to hell. More opinion, via Celebslam: 

[Seriously, be extra careful with your original logos around Kim Kardashian because she will straight-up steal them. Whew, thank god I was able to warn you guys in time. Is anyone really surprised by this story? Kim's never had an original idea in her life. Sex tape? Done by Pamela Anderson. Huge ass? Done by Jennifer Lopez. Getting pissed on? Done by half the 13-year-olds in Chicago . . . by R. Kelly. No, if Kim really wants to be original, she has to have something that no other reality star before her has ever had: huge implants too much make-up talent.]

Kris Jenner is an extraordinarily supportive attempted spotlight stealer mom. So we're going to have to enlist the help of an objective third party to inform Kim that the sun doesn't actually shine out of her ass. Her judgement is fallible. Reggie Bush, I'm looking to you...

[Photo Credit: So noble.]

Editor's Note: PLP is in transit today. There will be more posting taking place later this afternoon. Thanks for your patience! xo

Corgan says that they weren't hooking up and that he was only helping her with a theme song for her new show. What leads me to believe that this is incorrect is because after the news hit that he dumped her, she removed all of his pictures (like the above photo) from her Twitter page. Coincidence?

He said, "She asked me to help her out on the theme song for her new TV show. It has an interesting concept. She goes around the world to show how different people perceive beauty. In some cultures, bigger is better. In some, smaller is better. It's interesting...The stuff that I've seen doesn't have any bearing to the reality that I'm in. It's like being in a cartoon. It has nothing to do with what's really going on or how I feel." Did he just use her as an analogy to a cartoon?]

Granted, Jessica isn't rumored to exactly be an intellectual giant - but her good intentions far outweigh Billy's lifelong commitment to being a douchebag. What Simpson really needs is an evening at home with "He's Just Not That Into You" and a new publicist. As for Corgan, the smoothest thing he should be allowed to touch is his own bald head - so it looks like things are working out perfectly on that end. 

[Photo Credit: Studio daze]

RPattz could've at least thrown a Bumpit in there for a little height. The sparkle vamp isn't the same unless he looks like he just chewed on a live wire. Hopefully, this is just a one-time fuck up and the unicorns will be back soon to frolic. Moving on...

Everyone seems to think that the big surprise of the BAFTAs was that The Hurt Locker won a bunch of shit. But to me, the biggest surprise was that Kristen Stewart actually won something, and it wasn't for Best Impersonation of a Cardboard Cutout.

Here's some of the winners last night, click here for a full list.

Best Film: The Hurt Locker

Outstanding British Film: Fish Tank

Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker

Best Original Screenplay: Mark Boal, The Hurt Locker

Best Adapted Screenplay: Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner, Up In The Air

Best Actor: Colin Firth, A Single Man

Best Actress: Carey Mulligan, An Education

Best Supporting Actor: Chrisoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds

Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique, Precious

Rising Star: Kristen Stewart]

Click on the D-Listed link above for the greasy Pattinson photos. Hopefully Robert's hair was flattened from Kristen's palms and not some ridiculous re"vamping" of his image. Oh, and congrats to those award winners! You'd think I'd have better train of thought, considering my extreme soberness. 

[Photo Credit]

Q: When do you start shooting? Depp: I think Tuesday.

Q: What was it about the project that made you want to sign on? Depp: I liked the French version, the French film. I liked it a lot. My friend played the part in that and I liked it and I thought, yeah, it might be interesting to explore this kind of character. But I mean you never know what's going to happen. I suspect there might be a few paparazzi in Venice.]

A few paparazzi? There will be no one left in L.A. to cover the rest of the acting population! A little more info, via Celebitchy: 

[Johnny also talked to Fox News about going to Europe to work with Jolie, saying "You never know what's going to happen. I suspect there may be a few paparazzis in Venice." Then he said it will be "swell" to work with Angelina. Sigh... seriously, Vanessa Paradis and Brad Pitt are going to have to watch their backs. It's going to be epic.]

Swell. Already burying the sexual tension with placid accolades. Nice try, but it won't work. If I were Vanessa, I'd be sending Johnny to work with a string of garlic around his neck...

[Life & Style magazine cover]

But Ryan, who has two children with ex-wife Reese Witherspoon, was hardly acting like a man who's ready to settle down. He was spending more and more time partying, says the source -- and flirting with other girls.

Abbie's rep confirmed the split but said, "No comment," when asked why the couple broke up. On Sunday, the actress was spotted moving out of the house she shared with Ryan. Ryan and Abbie met while filming Stop-Loss in 2006, while he was still married to Reese.]

I can see why Abbie would fall hook, line and sinker for Ryan. He's gorgeous, charming and keeps his douchey side somewhat under wraps. All any of us can do when entering a romantic relationship is put our best foot forward and hope all goes well. But anyone could see the writing on the wall for Abbie. Here's why she was a fool: 

1.) She's a doppleganger for Ryan's ex-wife, Reese Witherspoon. That always gives me the creeps. I call it "ghost sex" - the ex's face, your body. No good.

2.) She was the transitional woman. Not only that, Abbie started out as the other women. Never a good way to begin a relationship. Let him work out his issues and come to you when he's ready.

3.) People need to sow their proverbial "wild oats" - men in particular. Ryan was already too young to settle down when he and Reese got married. How would going straight into another committed relationship give him time to get that all-important partying out of his system? Starting another family right away would be a recipe for disaster. Sorry, Abbie. You're a pretty girl, but you were a placeholder. 

4.) He's cheated before, he'll cheat again. It's the simplest math in the world. 1 married man + 1 wife + 1 mistress = repeat. See how the mistress never leaves the equation?

5.) There were strong rumblings that Ryan was jealous of Reese's success. Their relationship seemed to sour shortly after she nabbed her Oscar for Walk The Line. Abbie recently landed on the cover of Vanity Fair as a young actress to watch. Next thing ya know, she and Phillippe are splitsville. Coincidence? 

6.) Anyone who parties with Lindsay Lohan is cruisin' for a bruisin'. As one astute reader pointed out - have you ever noticed that Lindsay and Ryan are often in the same place, at the same time? Things that make you go, "Hmm." Or, more succinctly, things that should make you run like hell.

[Photo Credit]

Justin, 21, initially met 17-year-old Miley when her father Billy Ray Cyrus was presenting talent show 'Nashville Star' in 2008, on which he was a contestant. The pair split after Miley went to shoot the movie 'The Last Song' and met and began dating co-star and former 'Neighbours' actor Liam Hemsworth. Friends of Miley have recently claimed she wants to settle down and get married."She says she can't wait to turn 18 this year so she could do whatever she wants -- even marry Liam -- and no one can stop her," a source said.]

Okay, so he might not be chomping at the bit to crawl back to Chez Cyrus. Either that, or he is holding back the tears. Meanwhile, I can't wait for Miley to turn eighteen either - all the more legal to make fun of her with...

[Photo Credit: Miley and Justin, back when ice cream was enough.]

The wildly popular Twitter account by the same name was started by Justin Halpern, who regales more than a million followers with his father's quirky (and frequently off-color) comments. "Will & Grace" creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick picked up the project for development last fall.]

The Shat is notoriously cranky, so he might be perfect for the role. However his ego is also the size of the Titanic - and we all know what happened with that hot mess...

[Photo Credit]

When Cameron was being interviewed by Charlie Rose yesterday, he claimed that his "fantasy" was for Bigelow to win Best Director, and for Avatar to win Best Picture. Which is honestly how I think it's going to go down, but it's still nice to hear Cameron be so magnanimous with a fellow director, not to mention his ex-wife. I do think it's high time a woman won Best Director, but I fear the backlash against Bigelow if she wins, especially because it's such a small film. I tend to think Cameron worries about a backlash against her too, and that's why he's coming out ahead of the Oscars to tell the industry that he'll support her victory if it happens. Which is extremely classy, I think.]

He's still angling the biggest prize for himself, but the boon of Best Director for Kathryn Bigelow would certainly be huge. It seems this year's Academy Awards ceremony is going to be very interesting indeed!

[Photo Credit: When did James Cameron and T Bone Burnett start sharing a mirror?]

Of Jessica, whom he dated from 2006 to 2007, John said she "is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually, it was crazy... It was like napalm, sexual napalm." And he suggested that was all Jess ever was to him. "I really said, 'I now make the choice to sleep with Jessica Simpson," he bragged, while insisting that although she isn't his type -- or intellectual equal -- he couldn't resist seducing her. "She's angry and embarrassed," a source close to her tells Star.

While Jess wasn't his perfect match, his called his bond with Jen "pretty intense" -- even now. "I'm very protective of Jen," he said. "I love Jen so much that I'm now thinking about how bad I would feel if she read this and was like...'I don't want to be in your lineage of kiss-and-tells.'" But that didn't stop him from blabbing! He cheapened their connection by detailing for the public how he often fantasizes about his sexual exploits with past girlfriends and how he's slept with "four or five" women since he split with Jen last year.

"Jen is taking this really personally," a source tells Star. "She always stuck up for John when her friends cautioned her against him, but now she regrets it." Neither woman is taking John's betrayal lightly!]

Behold - the loudmouthed letdown that is John Mayer! I'm really curious how Aniston and Simpson will exact their revenge on Mayer. Two heads are better than one. I'm sure John would agree - especially when it comes to his well-documented masturbation habit. Something that will surely come in "handy" for John! A note to Jessica: I don't think round two with Dane Cook will do the trick to make a warhorse like Mayer jealous...

[Star magazine cover]

But those close to the hard-partying Cavallari, 23, say that such antics have become more and more typical. "Her issues are becoming apparent to everyone," an insider reveals. "She's getting scary-thin and not showering regularly...She's clearly unhealthy."

Her Hills friends Brody Jenner, Audrina Patridge, Lo Bosworth and Stephanie Pratt have all urged her to check into rehab, but to no avail. "She doesn't think she has a problem," a source says. And Cavallari isn't just a wild girl on her days off: the erratic, gaunt star has become chronically tardy to Hills tapings -- when she shows up at all.

In a sad twist, her struggles may even become fodder on MTV's hit show. "Her drug problem finally became an unavoidable conversation topic on film," an insider says. "If MTV uses the footage, it will be clear to everyone."

To find more about Kristin's crisis, how she's "sleeping around," her show-stopping tantrum at a Vegas event and her run-in with Derek Jeter, pick up the new issue of Us Weekly -- on newsstands today!]

I'm taking this with a grain of salt (note: not cocaine, Kristin). The Hills has been overshadowed by everything from Keeping Up With The Kardashians to Jersey Shore (different networks, granted) in the reality ratings race. The producers have to come up with something to keep it spicy and Kristin is the designated "bad girl." Frankly I don't know that much about Cavallari other than her reappearance on The Hills, the fact that she has a rockin' bikini body and allegedly hooked up with Nick Lachey after he was set adrift by Jessica Simpson. But if she's throwing fits in Vegas, giving Brody Jenner a harder time than Avril Lavigne and "sleeping around" then I might have to start paying attention. Congratulations, MTV - you got me. What can I say? Apparently I'm as easy as Kristin. 

[Photo Credit: White - nice choice.]

In recent weeks, Kourtney Kardashian's relationship with Scott Disick has been turned upside down with the revelations that Scott was caught with other women, as In Touch originally reported. No longer the attentive boyfriend he was during her pregnancy, it looks like Scott has been showing his true colors.

"Kourtney resents Scott for his behavior," says a friend. "They fight about almost everything when they're together." Yet, as the father of her child -- and a co-star on her reality show -- Scott will be a part of Kourtney's life forever. And though the friend says Kourtney still loves Scott, she also feels trapped in a relationship that's high on drama -- but low on caring and support.

Focused more on fame than on his family, Kourtney is basically raising Mason alone, says the friend. "From what I've seen, Scott doesn't really hold the baby," a frequent observer reveals. "When Kourtney has needed help, she has had to ask, and Scott appeared to give her crap about it. He acts like it is a huge hassle if he has to do anything like put down his phone to hold the baby."

Scott has also been insulting Kourtney -- teasing her mercilessly about her baby weight. "To him, it's joking, but to her it's taunting," says one of his pals. "She is really trying to lose it, but it isn't coming off as fast as she'd like."

Instead of being sensitive, Scott has been calling Kourtney "fat" behind her back, the pal says, adding, "Scott said he's not attracted to her because she's fatter than she was when they were dating."]

It's clear to everyone (including Kourtney, if she'd take those blinders off) that Scott has no intention of cleaning up his act because he's not in love. The "let's get back together for the sake of this baby" was great in theory; it's obviously not so great in reality. It's time to cut the cord on this dysfunctional relationship and ask your sisters for hookups. You've got access to the NBA (via Khloe's hubby, Lamar Odom, for the LA Lakers) and the NFL (via Kim's boyfriend - for as long as she can hang onto him - Reggie Bush, for the New Orleans Saints) so get busy!

[In Touch Weekly cover: Bad boyfriend.]

Twitterers were less than thrilled about Kim's decision to reveal the identity of someone whose ability to keep passengers safe hinges on his anonymity, so she told them to keep quiet. "RELAX I just told u guys the Air Marshall is sitting next to me, highly doubt anyone is twittering like me on this flight! shhh," she tweeted.

Kim wrote that her sleuthing skills, and not Jim's lack of integrity, were responsible for blowing his cover before ending the discussion by logging off. "Air Marshall's are supposed to keep their identity concealed. He did! I am just a private eye & assumed, so I asked him & he was honest!" she wrote. "OK I hope I don't get in trouble...logging off now! xo"]

At least she didn't TwitPic him! I love how blithely she takes matters of national security. It must be a blast to be Kim - she literally appears to have no concerns. In a flailing industry where you have to buy the peanuts that used to be free, you can get kicked off for being pregnant and daring to ask for water, and the national obsession with McDonald's becomes a hinderance - the Air Marshall safety factor is the one thing that's still a public service. Way to go on screwing that up. Congrats, Kim - the spotlight of stupidity falls on you, once again!

[Photo Credit]

She admitted to wanting to do the naughty deed for hubby Lamar Odom on a recent episode of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians", saying that she wanted it for Lamar when he is away with his team. Because he won't share it with anyone, now would he?

She said, "I kind of like the idea of a sexy little video. It could be naughty. I'm thinking about making a solo sex tape....like masturbation? You'd be like this, filming it with your eyes covered."

Her friend, like us, wasn't too keen on the idea of videotaping it for her. She said, "I am not going to tape you. That would scare me." Heck, the whole idea scares everyone. Please, Khloe, for the sake of all that is holy, do not do this.]

Those kompetitive sisters really make it challenging, but Khloe is determined to keep stretching that fifteen minutes of fame - and if that means a little "flash in the pan," so be it. As for Lamar, I wouldn't push my luck if I were Khloe - this marriage has already made it well past the expiration date. Now isn't the time to be scaring the poor guy off...

[Photo Credit: A sneak preview.]

"I will never do nudity . . . I don't care if I frickin' could get an Oscar for it, I'm not going to do it. Those accolades mean nothing to me. I don't think people deserve to see what's under my clothing. That's only for my next husband."

This is pretty close to what Lindsay Lohan said in 2005, back before you could see her in a nude scene.

"You will never see me in a nude scene. Then there's no mystery for my private life. I don't think that's what needed to win an Oscar for me. Personally...I think there's other things you can do to show people that you have talent."

I should watch more Oscar nominated movies, because according to Lindsay and Jessica, all the actresses show their tits in them. That's why they get nominated. It's really just a championship trophy for Best Tits. Didn't Anna Paquin win when she was like 7? These Hollywood people are a bunch of damn perverts.]

Jessica Simpson wouldn't be eligible for an Oscar, even if it were "end of days" and the Academy was handing them out for free. Meanwhile, with her new "sexual napalm" tag, I'm sure suitors will be lining up and we'll have the new Mr. Jessica Simpson soon! I hope he takes pictures of this elusive nudity...

[Photo Credit: From the upcoming March issue of Allure magazine.]

[UPDATE: Case in point - look who's already come sniffing around...]

In the magazine, Megan talks about her panty ad for Armani. Megan doesn't think she looks classy in panties at all. Megan thinks that when she puts on a bra she looks like something Alberto Vargas created with his own hands. You can't make this up, but Megan can! She said, "There are some women you could put in underwear and photograph them, and it looks really classy and it doesn't necessarily provoke a pinup image. But with me, it does, immediately. As soon as I'm in underwear, I'm a Vargas girl."

Let's just pat Megan on the head and keep moving on....

Megan thinks she would make a wonderful mother, because she's really good at soothing Brian Austin Green when he cries about his career in the middle of the night, "No one believes me when I talk about this, but I'm really maternal. I worry that because I've always wanted [kids] so much, as the world goes sometimes, I won't be able to have them, even though I would be able to provide them with such an amazing environment."

And finally, you won't find Megan sitting with the other Hollywood actresses in the cafeteria, because she says she has no interest becoming friends with the likes of ScarJo or MiserAlba: "I especially don't trust girls in this industry, because it's incredibly competitive, and I'm just not interested."

See, this is why Megan is the thinking whore's Natalie Portman. Who wants to play patty cake with the girls when you can play patty cake with a peen in the boy's bathroom. You know, sometimes I really think Megan and I share the same brain....and that's why I drink.]

Oh, and there's so much more! Here's why Megan thinks she can one-up Angelina Jolie - which we all know is Fox's lifelong goal. From W magazine extras: 

[On donating to charities: I work privately with some charities but I am not ready to come out and say, hey guys, I do charity, look at me. I just feel like its no longer charity if my image is somehow benefiting from it--I feel like I'm exploiting these people. I know that the argument is that you're supposed to use your celebrity to encourage others to do good, and I get that. But I think there will be a time and a place for that and right now I'd rather keep it private.]

Secret charity work is the key, peeps - not like that loose-lipped Jolie. Look at how generous Megan can be! How kind of her not to "exploit those people." Madonna, I hope you're taking notes - Megan has something to teach you. Foxy's bon mots used to drive me bonkers - but now I look forward to her "words of wisdom." At least she makes me laugh. 

[W magazine cover]

"Oprah is the smartest person on TV and will not let John use her or her show to ask for forgiveness," a TV insider tells me. "If John really wants to apologize for his racist and sexist comments, he should find somewhere else. The only way Oprah, who is a dear friend of Jennifer Aniston, would ever book him is if John were interested in having a much deeper conversation about race, women and fame."

So, Mr. Mayer: Stop whining about being misunderstood and start thinking about the words you use -- because it isn't just Oprah who doesn't want to listen to you anymore! And with your mouth, you should maybe consider Maury Povich or Jerry Springer before someone classy like Oprah.]

And a little more, from Celebitchy: 

[Popeater's Rob Shuter is reporting that John Mayer won't get a chance to issue a mea culpa on Oprah anytime soon. Shuter has a source who claims that Oprah wouldn't give Mr. "David Duke" Dick a platform unless he's ready to really admit he screwed up, and given the lame excuses we've heard from him I doubt that's going to happen anytime soon. It's unclear from this statement whether the source claims that Mayer actually approached Oprah (it doesn't sound like it), if she's explicitly said he's not welcome, or if it's just unlikely that the Mighty O would give him a platform since she's such a friend to Mayer's ex, Jennifer Aniston. Mayer hasn't updated his Twitter much since the controversy over his really over-the-top, arguably racist Playboy interview. He apologized and then put up a couple more tweets, one with a link highlighting his charity work and another on a new digital music gadget from Toshiba. If Mayer has any kind of sense, and I doubt he does, he'll stick to neutral posts on things he finds interesting or he'll stop tweeting altogether. He just seems to get into trouble every time he opens his mouth or types a sentence.]

Don't count on Mayer going away for good. Another celebrity will steal the scandal spotlight soon enough and John will slither back out. He won't be able to help himself. In the meantime, notice how we haven't heard anything lately about the brewing Taylor Swift/John Mayer romance since the brewhaha broke. I'm sure Taylor's camp has her on lockdown. You can't be allowed to dirty the Swifty. 

[Photo Credit: Best picture, ever.]

Nicole Richie has announced on the [Late Night With] David Letterman show (taped Monday - to air Friday) that she and Joel Madden are getting married. Whaaat?! Shut UP! The couple already has two children together, daughter Harlow (2) and son Sparrow (5 months) and have been dating since late 2006. Since right after the Hilary Duff days... awkward.

You know that since Nicole is getting married that Paris Hilton will announcer HER engagement any minute now...]

Frankly, I thought they were already engaged - or secretly wed. Richie and Madden seem to have the blissful nesting part down pat - that is when they're not busy designing eco-friendly jewelry or opening parks. Nicole has managed to surpass Paris on every level. By the time Hilton weds, it'll be so passe. I love that Nicole's clean lifestyle only helps highlight how truly irrelevant Paris has become - and that may be the biggest gift of all. 

[Star magazine cover: Yeah, maybe it was this tabloid cover that had me believing they were already hitched.]

But Reggie pulled away, miffed, and stormed inside. When she caught up, says the source, "He snapped at her, 'I just won the Super Bowl. This is my night, not yours."

Things hardly got cozier inside the club. While Reggie danced with teammates, Kim sulked at a table 100 feet away. "She was tearing up," says the source. "She put on a pair of sunglasses and was dabbing her eyes with a napkin under the shades."

Two hours later, Reggie was done partying - and done with Kim. "He didn't even tell her he was leaving," the source says. Kim jumped up and ran after him, but he hardly glanced back.]

I think the key words are "done with Kim." I don't believe that Reggie is into her diva antics - and that's pretty much the only trick in her bag. Dont' be looking for a wedding announcement - instead, look for spin on "Kim's single - and lovin' it" from the Kardashian camp. It's her only option. 

[Photo Credit: Wrap it up - I'll take it.]

Before he exited the plane, Smith puffed out his cheeks in an exaggerated pose and captured a photo for posterity and for use as a future 'twitpic'. Southwest eventually had a change of heart and booked him on a later flight and gave him a $100 airline voucher but the damage was done. The disgruntled passenger did what anyone would do under the circumstances -- he took his case to his Twitter page, where the four-letter words were flying fast and furious.

Southwest has apologized for getting it wrong after receiving a deluge of hate mail from Smith's 1.6 million Twitter followers. According to TMZ, the masses actually brought down the Southwest website at one point on Sunday.]

Oh man, literally one of the best instances to pull the "don't you know who I am?" card! Kevin took it like a champ, but there were definitely some hurt feelings involved. The staff on that flight literally could not have fucked up worse. Why Kevin was flying Southwest remains a mystery. I'm pretty sure he has enough money to fly a real airline. Meanwhile, behold the power of Twitter! It's about time the airlines realize that they are still a customer-based industry. It would be wise to remember that the passengers actually matter. 

[Photo Credit]

But while the four-hour trek from LA provided much-needed me time, Angelina clearly had longtime boyfriend Brad Pitt and their six kids on her mind. As soon as the plane's wheels hit the tarmac, while waiting to disembark, she whipped out her white BlackBerry Bold to scroll through photos and struck up a conversation about her eclectic family with a fellow passenger.

"I'm such a squishy mom. I really am just a squishy mom," she said with a smile. "Brad is with one of [our kids] right now. I can't wait to get to them. I can't wait to just be 
in bed hanging out with them!"

The image of Brad, 46, and Angie, 34, snuggling under the covers is in stark contrast to recent reports that have dogged the A-list couple. Just weeks ago, the duo were rumored to have consulted with an LA divorce lawyer and arranged their split by signing a $333 million deal, a charge the couple's lawyer strongly denied.

Now Life & Style can exclusively reveal that Brad and Angelina have decided to adopt baby No. 7, in what appears to be an attempt to save their relationship. "Angie is really happy with the state of the family, but yes, she wants more children," says an insider. "She's ready to roll again."]

It's an orgy of details! Love, ice cream, red wine and a white Blackberry. I'm getting flushed just thinking about it all. Ha. Though it may not personally be turning me on, the story is making me laugh out loud. And sometimes that's just as valuable. Envisioning Jolie eating airline food, much less deigning to share life details with a fellow passenger, is easily the funniest thing I've come across this month. Life & Style gets an A+ for elements of fantasy. 

[Life & Style magazine cover]

She explained: "I decided for Valentine's Day I would do a special hair thing. I wanted to try to create a pink heart shape with my lower hair. It was painful. You had to bleach it first. There's something about bleach that feels like acid. Then I had to shave it. I was in so much pain, but I kept going and put the pink dye on and it went the wrong colour."]

Damn! There's commitment - and then there's commitment. You know, you didn't have to do that on your own, Sandy. There are salons that specialize in the art of sculpting the hedges. Next time pay someone to do the job and relax. 

[Photo Credit: Taking it like a champ.]

The Lilongwe District Commissioner told the villagers: "Government allowed you to occupy this land because there was no project yet. But now that Madonna wants to build you a school you have to give way. You are lucky that Madonna has compensated you for your houses, gardens and trees."

One of the villagers said his family had lived on that plot of land for three generations, and the $1,500 Vadge put in his pocket is not nearly enough to replace his three houses and mango trees. If you put on a pair of 3D glasses, this story looks just like Avatar.]

Well, you can't please all the people all the time. And if you're Madonna, the number one person who's going to get pleased is your own damn self. Pat yourself on the back, Madge - you're "doing good."

[Photo Credit: Step aside, bitches.]

"Rob and Kristen are desperate to spend Valentine's Day together, as a couple," a source said. "Rob told me he has big plans for Kristen -- but he's worried they might not pan out due to both of their busy schedules. He's hoping it all works out ."

It was recently claimed that Rob and Kristen had been told to put their careers ahead of their red-hot romance. "Let's just say Rob and Kristen got a slap on the wrist," a Robsten insider recently told E! News' Ted Casablanca. "Everyone, from their management to the studios involved in their upcoming movies, is worried [Rob and Kristen] will start to become...distracted. Rob and Kristen are still together and totally cool. But they are both listening to what their teams are telling them, which is to stay focused."]

Promoting a red hot acting career or getting the bone? Pouty Kristen Stewart sure does face some tough choices! Anytime you want to trade girlfriend, just drop me a line. Meanwhile, when the media isn't busy hoping these two are getting hot-n-sweaty with each other, they're spending time pitting them against each other. Who will get out of this vampire franchise with his/her career on a high? Not counting Anna Kendrick - who's already smoked the competition like yesterday's weed. 

[Photo Credit: What do vampires get their immortal beloveds for Valentine's Day?]

And while this year's bash takes place tonight, just hours ago the 77-year-old broke the news that Lohan won't be accompanying him after all--and the world's press has Lindsay's shopping habit to thank.

According to the possibly truth-stretching--but then again, possibly not--Lugner, Lohan missed her plane from Los Angeles to London after a shopping spree ran overtime. Apparently, what the starlet lacked in funds to hold the flight, the billionaire lacked in inclination, resulting in her no-show. "She wanted to pay it, but her card's credit limit was not high enough," Lugner said of the would-be $22,000 fee.

Incidentally, it's not the first batch of backhanded comments he's dished out about Lohan. Earlier this month, he ran down her list of demands for the event, including keeping all alcohol out of her sightline and requesting to move the date of the ball (an impossibility given that it has taken place on the Thursday before Ash Wednesday every year since 1936).

But all is not lost. While British tabloids report that Lugner, who has previously enlisted the arm candy services of Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Dita Von Teese, Geri Halliwell and Nicollette Sheridan for the event, will instead be accompanied to tonight's festivities by U.K. tabloid trainwreck Katie "Jordan" Price, who arrived in town this morning, the billionaire is apparently going a different way this year and says he will instead be bringing male German entertainer Dieter Bohlen. So he's having a ball in more ways than one.]

Granted, some of the responsibility for this no-show falls to Lugner. Who books Lindsay these days and actually expects her to appear (on time or at all)? Ah, Linds. I wish I could stick you in a hot tub time machine and help you start all over. Add this fail to the list of many things that do not bode well...

[Photo Credit: Proof that Lindsay does know how to get on a plane.]