J.Lo Is A Bad Neighbor

[Think it might be fun having a beautiful superstar like Jennifer Lopez as a neighbor? If you answered yes, you lose. And so does one of JLo's close Los Angeles neighbors, who told RadarOnline.com exclusively that living near the actor/singer is, at times, a loud nightmare.

The neighbor, who doesn't want to be identified, described a recent day when the neighborhood tranquility was shattered by room-shaking music and a thunderous drum beat.

Despite the large properties in the neighborhood the sound from JLo's house shook things up immediately. "It was LOUD," the neighbor told RadarOnline.com. "It was during the day, about 4 in the afternoon but even as loud as the music was I could hear JLo barking orders over the music!"

The fearless neighbor, not intimidated by stardom, walked over to JLo's house fully intending to knock on the door and tell the star to keep it down. But the neighbor was intercepted in the driveway by two of Jennifer Lopez's "handlers."

"They were very polite," the neighbor told RadarOnline.com. "I told them this loud music was unacceptable on a regular basis and I wanted to talk to my new neighbor myself. That wasn't going to fly, they wouldn't let it happen. But they did say they would tell her to turn down the volume and that she was rehearsing for a show. Good for her - but not the rest of us in the neighborhood!"]

Sure, it's loud noise in the afternoon - as opposed to very early in the morning or very late at night. But it's Jennifer Lopez, damn it, and she must be punished. May I reveal my obvious bias? However, on second thought - how does one afford to live next door to J.Lo, yet still be home in the middle of the afternoon? Why aren't you at work? They're all bastards. 

[Photo Credit: This story reminds me of a band I was in, called The Bad Neighbors. We released a limited run CD called "Where's Your Apartment?". Yep, we thought we were pretty funny.]