Mechanic and Shankman apparently stopped short of suggesting
that nominees' mics would be cut off if they veered into generic "I'd like to
thank..." territory, but Mechanic did say they were "the single most-hated thing
on the show," and that they want this year to be livelier. Sadly, they showed
footage of Renée Zellweger's Cold Mountain Best Actress award speech as a
sample of what nominees should try to emulate, rather than showing Roberto
Benigni's chair-climbing, arm-flailing freakout, or Jack Palance's one-armed
push-ups routine.
That said, the move by itself opens up some potentially intriguing possibilities. Given 30 to 45 seconds and the social obligation to thank everyone possible, Oscar-winners have always had a safe, non-embarrassing, generic fallback speech practically written for them in advance. Robbed of that option and forced to come up with their own original ideas for speeches, some of them might actually let their real personalities show through a little. If nothing else, it might be worthwhile to see who ignores the instructions and defaults to the forbidden thank-you speech, or alternately, how far people will go to be original and interesting when given the direct challenge to do so. With a little luck, this might be the most enjoyably awkward Oscars ever.]
Livening up those speeches is pretty much the best idea since the Oreo met ice cream. And yes, you may infer from that reference that I had a meltdown today and was forced to indulge in a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. Goddamn emotions, always getting in the way.

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