Three great tastes that go great together! Well, somehow Lindsay Lohan made it to the coveted Cannes Film Festival and, needless to say, she's fucking it up royally. Not that there were necessarily any career opportunities waiting for her - but think how refreshing it would be if she showed up sober and ready to put her best foot forward. But no, that's not the way Lindsay rolls. These days it's always train wreck to off the rails. Read on, via Celebitchy:

[As a Lohan-watcher for the past few years, I can tell you something that I've observed - Lindsay gets the good sh-t when she's in France. Inevitably, when she's in France, whether it's Paris or Cannes, she looks totally f-cking jacked, out-of-her-mind f-cked up, her crackface even more skunky than usual. Perhaps French dealers don't know when to cut her off. Maybe the French dealers just get the premium sh-t for Lindsay. Perhaps Lindsay has already built up a tolerance for American drugs. Perhaps it's all jet lag? Hahahaha. Is this the worst she's ever been? No. But it comes at a time when she's under heavier scrutiny for the terms of probation, and whether or not she's in compliance with her judge's orders. Radar claims that the court is in the process of finding Lindsay in "very good" condition as far as her progress report goes. Jesus... did they not hear about her throwing a drink in someone's face? Did they not hear about her 30-person entourage and her nightly hissy fits to security people who refuse her entry to clubs? WTF? At least she's wearing panties, right?]

Click on the Celebitchy link above to see the panty crouching photo. And now a brief description of Lohan's antics at Cannes from The Sun, via Celebitchy:

[ALL-night partying is hardly uncharted territory for LINDSAY LOHAN. Neither is tumbling to the ground after one too many. But to do it all in the company of a male date marks a new phase for her. The troubled star hit a plush yacht party - and an unforgiving pavement - at the Cannes Film Festival hand-in-hand with a mystery hat-clad man.

As her eyes grew increasingly bleary throughout the evening, her legs correspondingly became wobblier - culminating in a spectacular roadside collapse in the French city. Later on, Lindsay took time out from standing upright to enjoy a relaxing squat, brandishing her grazed knees in the process.

Meanwhile, the Mean Girls star has been issued with a huge incentive to clean up in her carjacking lawsuit. The three men who are suing Lindsay for allegedly stealing their motor in 2007 have offered a bizarre settlement deal, asking for $3 million that they'll dish out to charities - instead of spend themselves - if she manages to stay sober for 42 months.

Good luck with that...]

So those men clearly know that Lindsay will never be able to manage that settlement deal, health-wise or financially. At least kiss her before you fuck her, boys. Not that Lohan has earned any leniency. And so goes another chapter in the downfall of LaLinds. Hey, they should make a movie about this story! After School Special, anyone?

[Photo Credit]

Lindsay, Cannes And Trouble

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