Vegan Steagan - A Serious Commitment To Fashion!


A fine example of someone going above and beyond for a home-cooked meal, complete with lyrics and exotic cutlery! Vegan Steagan approved!

If You Do One Thing Today, I Hope It's This


This is a must-see. A fabulous, witty and moving documentary that can literally save lives! It's instantly streaming on Netflix now and there's more information here. Highly recommended! 

Award For Drunken Fluke

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I came home from the kegger pretty toasted. "Shhh!" I giggled to myself as I slipped into my dorm room. My roommate stirred and mumbled in her sleep. Lucky for me (and her) that she slept like a rock most nights - this wasn't the first time I'd tumbled in the door at odd hours.

I slipped into bed and was just getting cozy, when my assignment floated across my brain. "Shit, shit, shit!" I sat up. My warm buzz had just become a cold sweat. I had an essay due for a history class, first thing tomorrow morning. Despite my penchant for partying, I was pretty dedicated to my homework and this was a major slip up in my book.

I sighed and heaved myself out of my nest. I grabbed my notebook and slipped out into the hall. We were to write a response to a famous male writer who'd spent his youth mired in 50's America. He was pretty sure his generation was the best. Our teacher wanted us to respond.

I'd find out in class the next day that most of my classmates responded positively to this man's challenge, but in my beer-buzzed state, I was a little more.... belligerent. Did he think he was the only who'd surmounted challenges? "Try living with the threat of nuclear war! Sure, we were kids, but growing up with Reagan as president was no picnic." My tirade flowed out of me. Finally exhausted, I went to bed.

By nothing short of a miracle, my teacher loved my piece and submitted it to an anthology the college was putting together. My assignment eventually became part of a textbook that my friends later had to read for homework. I even received an engraved paperweight from the school. I was embarrassed and I felt like a complete fraud. If a drunken toss-off could earn me that much attention, how could I ever make it happen if I were to ever really try? It had to be a fluke. I didn't write again for years. 

[Photo Credit: This is not me, nor is it a rendition of what happened that evening. However, I do find this quite eye-catching!]

David Lee Roth Vs. Chelsea Handler

Thumbnail image for david-lee-roth-splits.jpgAs I writer, I never leave home without a pen and a small notebook. I scribble down ideas as they come, trusting that a prompt here and there will help me flesh out thoughts when I get back to my trusty laptop. As I was flipping through this week's findings, I found a most curious idea: "David Lee Roth vs. Chelsea Handler." WTF? What had I been thinking? What could it possibly mean? All I know is that I couldn't stop laughing when I found it - and, despite being the creator of this seemingly random word generator, even I was intrigued. 

I can vividly remember the setting - I was playing designated driver to my drunk (but adorable) husband. We were wrapping up the evening at our favorite dive bar, sharing an order of JoJo's. Some 80's butt rock was blaring from the jukebox. We were laughing. I have a dark, secret butt rock past and hearing those tunes always shakes a few memories loose. In fact, most of the notes from that evening included bands like Ratt and Motley Crue. But David Lee Roth vs. the caustic but beloved author and television host? Not one fucking clue.

I mentioned this to my husband. He lit up. "I've got it! I know this one!" He's used to deciphering my misplaced words, subject-jumping and babbling. "David Lee Roth and Chelsea Handler both love little people!" Ah, of course! Well, mystery solved. What I'd hoped to write about in relation to this? I still have not one fucking clue. Looks like I'll have to wander down to the local dive and see if I can continue to job my memory...

[Photo Credit: Chelsea Handler, wrapping up a recent book tour. Not really, but wouldn't that be rad?]

It Actually Should Be An Arrestable Offense


So, my brothers, husband, sister-in-law and I were out at a bar one evening. We were having a great time, happily chatting while downing beers. Then this drunk guy started circling us, like Jaws. I don't know why he targeted our table, but he wouldn't stop harassing us. We finally told him to buzz off. Then the unthinkable happened - he farted. It wasn't just an accidental slip - it was an eye-scrunching, ass-squeezing, malicious scent bomb. The smell was ungodly. Never one to have a cool head in a crisis, I started babbling to the bartender, "He farted on us! He farted on us!" while pointing at the offender. He got the boot and we got a round of drinks. And had the cops been around, I would have lobbied for his arrest. Seriously.

Ah, The Classics


There's nothing like a John Cusack movie, especially this 80's classic, Better Off Dead. Viva La Cusack - then, now and forever! Hot Tub Time Machine must've worked - he looks the same age in both. 
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