She's Getting A Top-Notch Education

Were you worried about Ali Lohan's education? No? Me neither, but it's covered; in case you were wondering. Ali is being taught at home by "Mother of the Year," Dina Lohan. I'd say the sky's the limit after her Dina-approved home-schooling education sinks in. I'm guessing she's probably on track for early admission to Harvard. She's already excelling in some of the more difficult Lohan School courses, receiving an A+ in both "Fetch Mommy A Martini" and "Help Your Sister Remain Co-Dependent & Drunk." She's earned a C- for "Shake Your Ass And Help Earn This Goddamn Family Some Money" but I'm confident she'll be able to edge that grade up after releasing a couple of nudie pics. Congrats, Ali! I expect you to graduate with high honors. Don't disappoint me!