June 2009 Archives

My interview with Alicia ironically fell on the day Carrie Prejean was fired from her post as Miss California. Despite the controversial comments she made regarding gay marriage (the quotes heard 'round the world), she was actually fired for breach of contract. Alicia, as you know by now, was a judge for the event. She's no stranger to the pageant circuit herself - she's been both Miss Nevada USA and Miss United States. Needless to say, she knows what she's talking about! Alicia was scheduled to appear on Larry King's show, directly before meeting me. Unfortunately she was bumped at the last minute, but here's some prior footage regarding the same topic. I have no doubt that she'll have another opportunity to sit at the round table again in the future! I know this information may seem a bit dated at this point, due to the fast paced nature of the gossip world - but there are a lot of interesting details contained in the interview below. Please read and enjoy! 

Jenna Zine: So, what do you think? I know you're probably done talking about it, but what do you think about the whole Carrie Prejean scandal?

Alicia Jacobs: We'll never be done talking about it! [laughter]

JZ: We've learned today that she's been fired, not for the comments but for the breach of contract.

AJ: Absolutely! And justifiably. You know what? I'm proud of the organization, I'm proud of Donald Trump and The Miss Universe Organization that they took a stance. They were kind enough to give her a second chance. She was in breach of contract once. She had semi-nude photos, which automatically broke the rules. They gave her another chance but said, at the very least, that she needed to abide by her contract and act as Miss California USA and do her job. At the end of the day it's a job and a responsibility. And she refused to that - she had her own agenda and her own appearances, refused to do any appearances in Hollywood. She wouldn't do any red carpet. She thought she was too good for that, above that. The Miss California people were confused. They had obligations to fulfill and a person who wasn't willing to do them. They had no choice. They literally had to replace her with someone who wanted to work. If you don't want to do the job, step aside and let somebody else do it.

JZ: That doesn't make any sense. Who wouldn't want to do those things? Especially having gone so far within the pageant system, who wouldn't be expecting that?

AJ: I think she became a little delusional and a little impressed with herself and all the attention she got so quickly. She thought she was above all of that. Well, guess what? You're not. None of us are. You learn this - and I've been there too, I've been in pageants - it's wonderful when you have the crown. But the day you give it up? Guess what! [laughter] You're not so special anymore. And unless you've done a lot to solidify yourself and worked hard to create something, you don't have much left at the end of that year. I'm not sure she caught on to that.

JZ: She's very young, but also I don't think the reality hit her. There was obviously a huge media storm from the comments she made, but no one would have paid attention to her otherwise. I don't think those comments were calculated but she certainly garnered a lot of attention, for a time.

AJ: I think it surprised her as much as it surprised everyone there. But she said it, she obviously meant it and she had to stand up. I do credit her with standing by what she said that night at the pageant. I don't agree with it, but I give her credit for standing by her words.

JZ: It's a really sticky situation. Her views aren't in line with mine, but I do feel people should be able to express their opinions.

AJ: Absolutely. Especially with what you and I do for a living, it's paramount that we can speak our minds. Freedom of speech is huge.

JZ: We wouldn't be anywhere without it! So, I'd like to follow up with your Larry King interview. 

AJ: I did Headline News today and I'm doing Showbiz Tonight tomorrow. Apparently people care what I think! It's so funny to me because as a reporter I'm not used to giving my opinion. I state the facts. Once in awhile I'll throw in a little comment here or there because you can get away with that in entertainment news. But all of the sudden people want to know what I think personally. It's fun! It's scary sometimes, I hope I don't say the wrong thing. But it's fun and it's another side of this whole business that we're in.

JZ: It's pretty amazing. I haven't watched the pageants in a long time and I happened to be in Montreal at the time. It was the only thing on television that was not in French. So I started watching it, because my French is terrible. I happened to be watching at that moment [when Carrie Prejean answered the gay marriage question] and I was blown away. I've been following it ever since. It must have been amazing to have actually been there.

AJ: It was crazy because I was sitting next to Perez [Hilton] and I'll never forget it. My first reaction was to look immediately at Perez. Thank god I wasn't on television at that moment. I would have looked like an idiot, the way my head snapped. [laughter] He looked like he'd just lost his best friend. And you're not used to seeing Perez Hilton with that kind of reaction. Usually he's very confident and very sure of himself and I think even he was floored. And hurt. We cut to a commercial break after that and he was like, "Wow." I looked at him and said, "I know! I can't believe she said that." He was upset. We drove back to the hotel together afterwards and he was upset. He got carried away, I think, on his website. But you know what? This is a very emotional issue for him and it's something that inevitably he's going to face at some point in his life. He's going to want to get married. I'm sure it's something he thinks about often and it was hurtful.

JZ: It's a very intense subject. It's going to bring it all up again for Carrie [Prejean] because of the media coverage of her getting fired.

AJ: Now she can speak as much as she wants! [laughter]

Alicia Jacobs was met with much criticism after expressing her support for gay marriage - even receiving death threats at one point. She remains firmly commented to expressing her opinion. It seems ironic that she sat beside Perez Hilton during the Miss USA Pageant - the nexus that began Carrie Prejean's downfall - yet he's currently embroiled in a scandal of his own for calling Will.i.am from the Black Eyed Peas "a faggot" during an alleged verbal and physical brawl recently. Funny, that!

Alicia Jacobs: It's harsh. I can't believe because of gay rights, or really lack of gay rights, people have taken it upon themselves to just hate my guts.

Jenna Zine: I know! I was just reading your interview in The Advocate and the subsequent death threats. That sounded crazy. It's ironic because people on the other side are arguing about Carrie Prejean being able to speak her opinion and then you speak your opinion and you end up with death threats. It doesn't make any sense!

AJ: It shocked me to no end! I'm not asking, saying, or telling anyone anything. I'm expressing my opinion. To me it's really about love. Let two people who love each other be together. What's wrong with that? It's not going to impact your life. If you're not into gay marriage, don't marry a gay person. It's not going to hurt somebody else. You could make an argument about abortion, regardless of what side you're on, that that's a decision that affects another person. But marriage?

JZ: If you're lucky enough to find love in this lifetime, have it be mutual and have a desire to be with someone... what more do you need? We don't have a lot of time, as we know, and if you want to spend time with someone you love that's beautiful. Especially in this day and age it surprises me that we'd be trying to regulate someone else's relationship. It seems crazy.

AJ: It's been shocking to me to realize the amount of prejudice that's out there against gay people. I feel like an idiot saying that, but I had no idea. As many gay friends as I have in my life, I should have known better. But, to they're credit, my friends don't talk about it that much. If that were me, I'd be sobbing everyday! But they rise above it and they live their lives and they forge ahead. They don't need anyone else's approval and I give them a lot of credit for that. I don't have that kind of thick skin.

JZ: It amazes me that this kind of thing still exists.

AJ: It's kind of like women not being able to vote. These days you'd think, "Huh?" [laughter] Can you imagine?

JZ: That's what surprised me at the time, the feedback that you received. The irony - what people don't understand - is they're angry that Carrie Prejean got lambasted for sharing her opinion. But then you shared your opinion and got death threats. I don't see the logic in that.

AJ: I don't try to explain myself anymore. I tried to answer every negative comment that I received, but I was becoming mired in it and nothing was changing. I decided to do my job and move ahead. And if they don't like me because of it? I know that I'm a good person and I know I'm not doing anything wrong. Every time I tried to write back and explain, that person would write me back something three times longer. It was a circle.

JZ: I saw some of those comments [on your blog]. Paragraphs and paragraphs! Who has that much time?

AJ: I don't have that much time!

JZ: Are things safer for you now?

AJ: Yes. It took awhile. I think I came out ahead, I hope. Maybe I opened up somebody's mind a little bit. Either way, if I'm burning in hell at least I'll have good company!

JZ: I'm probably going there too. At least we'll get to meet Angelina Jolie! [laughter]

[Photo Credit]

Alicia has had the opportunity to interview everyone from George Clooney to Drew Barrymore. She's even spent some time with the Jonas Brothers - try not to get too jealous on that one! The list goes on and no doubt will be added to as her career trajectory continues. Here's a peek into some of her favorite celeb interviews, thus far:

Jenna Zine: On a more lighthearted note, [this was my brilliant change of subject after discussing the loss of Danny Gans. Smooth!] I know you've had an opportunity to interview George Clooney and Drew Barrymore. I was reading the list and I want to know... Who's been your favorite celebrity interview and why?

Alicia Jacobs: You know it's so funny! Obviously that's a question I'm going to be asked a lot and I always feel like I need a better answer! [laughter] It always changes. I feel like whatever story I'm working on at that moment is my favorite. I'm sure it happens to you too. You get so into and think, "This is amazing! This is my best work ever!" [laughter] You know, I love Jay Leno. I did a series of interviews with him a week and a half ago, just as he was winding down with the Tonight Show. I've had the opportunity to interview him probably five or six times over the course of the last six or seven years. He is just such a cool guy and such a real person! Despite of the gigantic success he's had, he's so down to earth. He's amazing. He's smart, funny and candid. I think, probably because he knows what it's like to interview people, that he gives a really great interview. I appreciate that. He's definitely one of my favorites. Luther Vandross was such a huge thrill for me. I was such a huge fan! I was so excited when I got to interview him, I couldn't believe I was sitting next to Luther. And, consequently when he passed away it was a very tough story to do as well. That was not fun. Of course, George Clooney. We love George! Who doesn't love him?

JZ: Yeah, that must have been nice! It would be fun to meet George Clooney in person.

AJ: That wasn't bad. That didn't suck at all! And you know whom else? I've become a huge fan of Donny & Marie [Osmond].

JZ: Really? [This answered surprised me!]

AJ: Isn't that funny? I feel like a huge geek saying that, but I've come to know them since they started their show at the Flamingo. Not only do I think they have one of the best shows here, but I think entertainment-wise and value-wise they're the best. I take everyone to see it and everybody loves it! They are two of the nicest people, especially Donny. I have a mad crush on him! [laughter] I know he's a happily married family man, but I'll just put it out there - I have a gigantic crush! I'm blushing. It's puppy love.

JZ: That's so great, that's so fun. It's such an unexpected answer. I have a certain image of them from back in their teen days...

AJ: You know, he looks amazing. He's a grandpa, but he looks incredible. A hot grandpa! [laughter]

JZ: What? I had no idea he has grandkids! 

AJ: It's true.

JZ: How long are they here for? Do they have a yearlong contract with the Flamingo?

AJ: You know what? I think we'll have them around here for a while. They started with a six-month deal. They did so well that the Flamingo signed them to two years. This is unconfirmed, but my gut, which I trust, tells me that they are going to be here for a very long time. Unofficially, you heard it here first, but I believe we'll have them here for several years.  That's how well they're doing. It's hard to come into Vegas with a show like that, especially with the economy being what it is. How amazing that they've done what they've done. They're selling out every night. Very few shows are doing that right now. They are old school. They know what it's like to entertain. They don't need explosions. They don't need people swinging from the rafters. They come out, they sing, they dance, and they talk to the audience. When you come out of there, you feel like you got entertained to no end. It's huge. You got your money's worth, if that's what you're looking for, and you had an amazing time. You don't get that very much anymore. They sound great, they still have great voices and they look phenomenal. They're awesome. I never thought I'd be saying that! [laughter]

JZ: Now I'm going to have to come back and see them!

AJ: Seriously, you will love the show. I promise you!

[Photo Credit: from Alicia's private photo album]

On May 1, 2009, Las Vegas reeled from the shock of suddenly losing a valuable member of their entertainment community. Danny Gans, famed vocal impressionist and performer, died at his Henderson Valley home, leaving a large legacy in his wake. Danny began performing in Vegas at the Stratosphere Hotel in 1996 and moved to the Rio Hotel shortly thereafter. He finally landed at the Mirage, where he stayed for many years. He had recently changed locations to the Wynn Hotel in February of 2009. The marquee bearing his image on the Strip is the largest freestanding marquee in the world. What's even bigger is the impression he left on Las Vegas - in a city that's as fun as it is anonymous, Gans stood apart as a personality associated with the top-notch entertainment the town has to offer. Alicia was a very close friend of both Danny and his beloved family. She was willing to talk about her loss with me:

Jenna Zine: I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, Danny Gans. How are you coping? What's been going on with that? I've been reading your Twitter account and I saw how close you two were. You talked about him all the time. It made me so sad for you.

Alicia Jacobs: Truthfully it's been such a nightmare. This has been one of the toughest times - personally and professionally -  one of the toughest things I've ever had to deal with. I still can't believe he's gone. I found myself the other night talking about it. I couldn't believe I found myself saying the words "Danny Gans' death" - I can't believe I'm actually saying these things within the context of a [news] story. And I keep thinking about Danny himself and what he would say. He was such a huge supporter of mine. Lord knows he had enough on his plate with his own career, but he was such a great mentor for me. He would always watch my segments and has from the get-go. He's been supporting me since 1996, since I first met him. He would always have his comments and he was always right. Everything he suggested was right. That's why I implemented, on the day of his memorial, a new signoff. One of the things that drove him crazy was, at the end of my segments, I'd say, "Back to you guys" and then toss it back to the anchor desk. And he hated it! [laughter] Everyday he'd text, "You've got to stop saying that! It devalues you! It's painful." He would send me suggestions everyday, reminding me that I should have my own signature. I never did it. I didn't want to do that. So on the day of his memorial I explained the significance of my decision to our viewers and I finally came up with a sign off. I decided to implement some of the taglines he gave me. I've done it ever since - that happened May 21^st - and it's just my own little way of remembering him. It's tragic. I can't believe this happened to him. It's the biggest waste. The city will never see someone of his talent again. I don't know if you ever had the chance to see him, but he was stunning. He could do things that no other person in the world could do - and that's saying a lot because there are some very talented people in this world we live in. But he was one of the kindest, most giving, loving human beings ever. And I'm not just saying that, I mean it. If I didn't mean it, I wouldn't say anything at all. And that he was taken so soon... it's caused me to exam my faith, which probably isn't a good thing. I don't get it! He lived a wonderful life. He was a great husband, father, humanitarian - and that's what you get? You die at 52 and don't get to see your kids get married or get to know your grandchildren? It's a tragedy. It's awful.

JZ: I know. It never makes sense when somebody gets taken too soon. We should all get to live into old age.

AJ: Charles Manson will live forever! Go figure.

JZ: I know! [laughter] What sense does that make? Somebody like that...  I was reading today about your father. 

AJ: Ugh, that's so crazy. My poor dad was so ill. I didn't know what was going to happen, but it wasn't good. He was literally on life support. And there was Danny texting me, throughout that whole experience. And then my phone rang at 4:30 in the morning and my heart was just pounding because I assumed it was the hospital calling about my dad and it would be bad news. I'd just gone to sleep about an hour and a half  before that because I was up worrying about my dad. But it was Danny's manager Chip, who is another one of my closest friends. He said, "I need to talk to you. Something bad has happened." I thought he was calling about my dad and I was so confused. I thought, "Why is Chip calling me about my dad?" And he said, "It's not about your dad. Danny just passed away." I couldn't breathe. I was in shock. For a moment I thought I wasn't even awake. It was that shocking to me. Chip got off the phone and called back five minutes later, asking for my help to make his statement. I got out of bed, went to my computer and got his statement. I said, "When you're ready I will go to work and I will do this story." And he said, "Are you sure? I know you're dad isn't doing very well." I couldn't go to the hospital until 11 AM because of visiting hours. So I went into work to let them know what was going on. They couldn't release it until I gave them the go ahead. As I was driving to work, my mother called to tell me they'd taken my father off of life support! At that moment I knew I could do the story for Danny. I did the story [at my station], went to the hospital to visit my dad and then spent the rest of the day doing stories for Danny throughout the country. It meant everything to me to be able to do that. I could have given it to another reporter, but I could pay tribute to my friend. I knew him so well and I knew how he would want those stories to be done. I want to believe that I did that. And I took some heat. There were some unkind people who thought it was unprofessional of me because I lost it - I cried a couple of times on the air. It was overwhelming. The first few times I went on the air it was stunning to say those words. It's not something I'd ever imagine having to say.

JZ: But I think people would rather see that compassion and see the truth. I don't think that's unprofessional at all. And to have somebody so close to him, who loved him and was really able to give that news to people and tell the truth... I think it's amazing.

AJ: Thank you. Ninety-nine percent of the feedback was similar to what you're saying, but there are always people out there who want to criticize. To them, I did my job the best I could and it was a very real moment for me and it just came out that way.

JZ: You know, I would rather see that. We get so jaded and disconnected from the human element. As our society grows and technology changes, everything is in one-sentence bites. To share something with real emotion that is a real tragedy is something we don't see much of these days. Everything is just so disconnected. I really respect you for being able to do that and being able to share that loss with people. That's not easy.

AJ: Thank you. No, it hasn't been easy. It's not getting an easier. It's just surreal. You know, we had this thing - he was always very cautious about his voice. He didn't talk a lot during the day, so he was a crazed texter. [laughter] Inevitably whenever my phone would go off and there would be a text, it would be from Danny. Same time, everyday! I still look at the clock and wait for it. You forget for a moment there. I always hope to still see his name. It's crazy. It's funny, I'm going to have to go get a new phone. I can't get texts, except for one or two at a time, because I've saved every text from Danny. I can't delete them. I don't have the heart to get rid of them. So I thought I'd just go get a new phone!

JZ: When I was doing my research and going through the backlog of your Twitter pages, it really made me cry. There was so much friendship and interaction between you two. It was shocking to read that the next post was about his death.

AJ: I still can't believe it.

JZ: It's just awful. Thanks for talking about it. I know it's really hard. I know my interview has been really all over the place!

AJ: Don't feel that way. My thing is any chance that I have to talk about him and honor his legacy, I'm very happy to talk about that. I don't feel that way at all.

JZ: Thank you. I really wanted to make that a part of our interview because I know people here really miss him.

AJ: He was huge. It's really a loss. It affected a lot of people in a lot of ways here - some in ways that they may never realize.

[Photo Credit: From Alicia's private archives.]

Jenna Zine: What are your future career goals and plans? I think the career you're having is so amazing! You've been on E!, my favorite channel. [Editor's note: She's also been featured on NBC, Access Hollywood and CNN Live with Larry King, to name a few!] You're doing the celebrity interviews already. Where do you want to go from here?

Alicia Jacobs: I'm a huge fan of Nancy O'Dell and Mary Hart. I think what those ladies have done is amazing. I would love to follow in their footsteps and do something along the line of what they're doing. In the meantime, as we speak, I'm working with my agent right now about being a Las Vegas correspondent for one of those shows. I love it here. I know this city. I would love to show the rest of the country the Las Vegas that I know and love. Not necessarily the Vegas that we see via other reporters that aren't from here [Alicia is a Las Vegas native]. I think I have a nice perspective on it that's very accurate. I think it's something people would be very interested to know about.

JZ: Vegas is always going to be a destination, no matter what's going on with the economy. 

AJ: It's crazy! [laughter]

JZ: People will always want to get away. Now, you've been behind the scenes. You've performed in the shows. [Alicia's "behind the scenes" segments have seen her actually performing on-stage in several Las Vegas productions. She suited-up as a "Siren," and danced in the "Siren's of T.I." show, performed on-stage as one of Ivan Kane's "40 Deuce Girls," became a trapeze artist in the "Moscow Circus," vanished from David Copperfield's show and performed the lead role in the musical "Mama Mia," to name a few!]

AJ: It's fun!

JZ: Oh my gosh, I can't imagine!

AJ: It's stressful and nerve-wracking, but it's fun. Some of those costumes... wow! It's definitely a perk.

JZ: We've covered some really big stories and you're in on all of them. It's so cool! 

AJ: Thank you! Professionally it's been the best six months of my life.

JZ: Well, you certainly deserve it. I can't wait for more.

[Alicia is definitely one to watch! Stay tuned throughout the week as we discuss Carrie Prejean, Holly Madison, Criss Angel, Donny & Marie and more.]

Alicia is a native Las Vegan - she also happens to be a former Miss Nevada USA and Miss United States. Think it's nerve-wracking to sit down with a beauty queen? It was! Lucky for me, Alicia is as kind as she is beautiful. She's been proclaimed the "Queen of Celebrity Scoop" by Vegas Magazine - a well deserved mantle for the woman who knows everything about Sin City.

JZ: What is your favorite thing about Vegas, being a native, and what's it like living so close to the Strip? What still draws you to your hometown?

AJ: I'm such an entertainment fiend. I love great performing and great performances. I feel so lucky that I live in a city that any day of the night, I can drive a few miles and I can see some of the most incredible entertainment and entertainers imaginable. I mean, you get jaded. Sometimes I take it for granted; other times I'm like, "Wow!"  In the course of a week I've seen Garth Brooks, Donny & Marie, Love, Jersey Boys, which is another one of my favorite shows. It's great! I can't imagine not having that. When friends come to town, that's one of my favorite things to do - I take them to as many shows as I can and share with them the ones that I love. 

JZ: What are your favorite clubs? Do you have any insider tips? 

AJ: You know, I'm probably really boring. [laughter] Probably because I've been around it so long, nightclubbing is not one of my favorite things to do. I love to go to great restaurants, which we have in Vegas now. I love to share wine with friends and be able to hear the conversation. I'll go to the clubs, if I get pressured into it! If you want to do clubs, we've got the best. I love Pure. I still love Studio 54.

JZ: For me I come here and it's a total escape. I don't know any of the inner workings. Where do you go to relax? You're not anonymous here. This isn't a getaway for you. Where do you go?

AJ: L.A.! [laughter] That's the getaway! It's funny, people think I have this wild, crazy life because of the job that I have and the social life that I have - but really, my favorite thing to do for the most part is to stay home, light some candles, order in and watch movies. For me, that's relaxing. 

[Photo Credit: If there's a red carpet happening in Sin City, Alicia's invited to walk it! Here she is at Hans Klok's show that featured Pamela Anderson.]

By: Jake Kilroy

Chastity Bono has announced that she's getting a sex change. The daughter of Sonny and Cher, Chastity came out when she was 18, so it isn't as big of a surprise as it may have otherwise been. Chastity is going from woman to man. Meanwhile, the public is still waiting for Cher to finally admit that she had the exact opposite surgery decades ago.

[Editor's note: It's amazing to recall that Cher had great difficulty with Chastity's revelation when she came out - pretty surprising, coming from a woman who's an icon within the gay community. Meanwhile, I think Chastity (who will now go by Chaz) is making a brave decision to live her/his life as he sees fit. It takes a lot of guts to be true to yourself!]

[Photo Credit]

By: Jake Kilroy

The representatives of Bret Michaels are pissed. And rightfully so, they represent Bret Michaels. But what they're even angrier about is that no one seems apologetic for Bret Michaels getting slammed in the head by a lowering stage prop.

According to MTV, "I find it surprising that a Tony spokesperson would brush off this incident with a comment stating 'Mr. Michaels missed his mark' with no mention of concern for his condition," spokesperson Janna Elias says in the statement. "If everyone at the Tonys [was] aware that Bret missed his mark, then they should have been aware enough to stop the set piece from hitting him or at least slowed it down until he cleared the stage. I feel had this incident happened to Liza Minnelli, Dolly Parton or Elton John, the Tonys would have at least issued a letter of concern.

Here's the difference, Janna: Liza Minnelli, Dolly Parton and Elton John all belong at the Tonys. What the hell was Bret Michaels doing there anyway? Looking for new goofy hats to wear? Tell him that if he's in a band called Poison, hurting his head at the Tonys isn't as bad as hurting his reputation by being a sissy the Tonys.

By: Jake Kilroy

It's rumored that Paul McCartney has some small interest in working with indie rock neo-psychedelics MGMT. Sure, it's overwhelmingly flattering that Sir Paul wants to work with two hipsters from Brooklyn, but in recent years, it seems that Sir Paul would certainly pull your music down. Yes, the man co-wrote some of the best songs of the 20th Century. He's a legend. He's so famous and so constantly referenced in popular culture that he almost has the stability of a fictional character.

However, if you put the complexity of MGMT's 2007 space ride Oracular Spectacular against Paul McCartney's 2007 token gem question mark Memory Almost Full, you start to wonder who would be leading the parade in cool when it came to a collaboration. MGMT's single "Time To Pretend" is a beautiful and nostalgic melody and surreal lyrical interpretation on growing up.

And, on the other hand, here are the entire lyrics to the first single ("Dance Tonight") off Paul McCartney's 2007 album:

[Everybody gonna dance tonight. Everybody gonna feel alright. Everybody gonna dance around tonight. Everybody gonna dance around. Everybody gonna hit the ground. Everybody gonna dance around tonight. Well, you can come on to my place if you want to. You can do anything you want to do. Everybody gonna dance tonight. Everybody gonna feel alright. Everybody gonna dance around tonight. Well, you can come on to my place if you want to. You can do anything you want to do. Everybody gonna stamp their feet. Everybody's gonna feel the beat. Everybody wanna dance around tonight. Everybody's gonna dance tonight. Everybody gonna feel alright. Everybody gonna dance around tonight. Everybody gonna jump and shout. Everybody gonna sing it out. Everybody gonna dance around tonight. Well, you can come on to my place if you want to. You can do anything you want to do. Everybody gonna dance tonight. Everybody gonna feel alright. Everybody gonna dance around tonight. Everybody gonna dance around tonight. Everybody's gonna feel alright tonight.]

Sooooo...you see the problem here. It's like the senile, old version of Dave Bowman, the one where he's eating in the neon room, having to go back and help young Dave shut down HAL in 2001: A Space Odyssey. MGMT doesn't need Sir Paul's help, just his name brand, I suppose. I doubt Jonathan Frazen's "The Corrections" would have been as good if he had Ernest Hemingway back from the dead as a zombie to help Frazen.

I know Paul McCartney's not a zombie and maybe my analogies make no sense (like a willow cat fighting a dragon on wheels), but shit, McCartney's lyrics for "Dance Tonight" sure don't make it harder to believe Sir Paul isn't actually a zombie. I bet he wrote that song in his sleep with fart sounds.

[Photo Credit: Paul McCartney]  [Photo Credit: MGMT]

By: Jake Kilroy

Apparently, Robert Pattinson partied all night with Eva Mendes, and it's supposedly a big deal. It's not, as they're probably only just friends. Also, Robert's forehead is like the Great Plains after the buffalo were all killed. It's just massive and barren, and you keep thinking, "Shouldn't something be growing in that gigantic space?" But maybe Eva Mendes can fix him. I mean, Eva Mendes is so outrageously hot that she can probably demand that Robert get a forehead reduction. Maybe he can lower it to a just threehead (thank you vaudeville and the Friday film series), because, well, any man would probably do anything with Eva Mendes.

Sorry, I can't stop using her full name. She's like Darth Vader (dark and mysterious), except she only uses her powers for good (lookingness). Also, she is so hot that she makes me stupid to just think about her. Case and point being that I used the phrase "good-lookingness."

However, it should also be noted that Kristen Stewart is probably unhappy with this and we should all cheer for Robert's efforts. Anything after Stewart is an upgrade. Humping into a sock is even better because a sock can at least be stretched into different shapes and sizes. Stewart has the emotional capability of a sock that has been humped so rigorously and copiously that it has the softness of a hospital cast. Now, tell that cast on your dick to pull some depth of emotion. It won't. So maybe put it in the washing machine and watch it tumble and fumble around. And that's Kristen Stewart.

[Photo Credit: Eva Mendes. Yep!]

[Photo Credit: Robert Pattinson, whose forehead is so big that it can't be contained by a photo.]

By: Jake Kilroy

In the most recent issue of Parade, Shia LaBeouf comes way too clean about his childhood. According to the New York Daily News, Shia says, "My humor came from seeing my parents have sex, smoke weed, my mom being naked - just weird hippie stuff, twisted R-rated humor."

There's no joke here. Shia LaBeouf's childhood is the punch-line.

[Photo Credit: Sexy time with mom!]

By: Jake Kilroy

Miss California stopped being Miss California yesterday. And you'll hear a bunch of pundits and bloggers say that Donald Trump, owner of most of the Miss Universe Organization, said his famous words, "You're fired." But that's not the issue. The issue is that Miss California Carrie Prejean responded to a question about same-sex marriage and said that she didn't personally believe, as she wasn't raised in such a way. Prejean and the person who asked the question, Perez Hilton, both believe that she was removed from power because of her stance of same-sex marriage.

Everyone else instead said it was because she broke her contract agreement and wasn't fulfilling the title. I'm going to go with this particular reason being true, as 1) important people are saying it, and 2) they wouldn't really get rid of Miss California if she opposed same-sex marriage when over half of California actually voted against same-sex marriage.

According to TMZ, Prejean, apparently uncomfortable with not seeming crazy, went on to say, "What's behind this, I think, is a political debate. They don't agree with the stance that I took [on Prop 8]. Shanna [Moakler] is trying to bash me. They don't like me. From day one, they wanted me out and they got what they wanted."

Later, I'm assuming that she made it clear that she also didn't shoot JFK from the grassy knoll and that V from V For Vendetta was behind her comments. Well done, Prejean, paranoia looks great on you.

[Editor's note: I had the opportunity to interview Alicia Jacobs and it went even better than I could have hoped. She's a sweet and generous woman. I can't wait to share our chat - I got the scoop on Carrie Prejean (Alicia was a judge and was sitting next to Perez when Prejean answered that now infamous question.) Alicia was on Larry King Live for this very issue - she was supposed to be talking to him prior to our interview, but her time with Larry got canceled at the last second. I need to get our interview transcribed, however I can tell you straight from a professional reporter who knows the truth: Jake's correct in his assessment and Alicia confirmed that Carrie was indeed fired due to breach of contract. Alicia and I also got to dish about Mel B, Peepshow, Holly Madison, insider tips to Vegas, Criss Angel and more! What a treat! Look for the complete post next week.]

[Photo Credit: So, if those boobs were paid for by the folks who run the Miss California Pageant does that mean she has to give them back?]

By: Jake Kilroy

50 Cent has decided to launch a cologne called "Power," with the help of Lighthouse Beauty. Lighthouse Beauty is not to be confused with G-Unit, though their similarities are unbelievable. One main difference is that G-Unit actually has a website. Considering 50 Cent's feuds with Ja Rule, Fat Joe, Nas, Bang Em Smurf, Domination, Jadakiass, P. Diddy, The Game, Cam'ron, Rick Ross, DJ Khaled, and Lil Wayne...the cologne will mostly likely reek of beef. Hiiiiiiyyyyoooooooooooooooooo...    [Photo Credit]

By: Jake Kilroy

In the newest issue of Rolling Stone, American Idol runner-up, Adam Lambert talks directly about being proud of his homosexuality. Kudos to Adam for being proud while not enduring the usual cheap exploitation of American media. Adam added, "I'm trying to be a singer, not a civil rights leader." In other news, Adam has yet to surprise anyone about anything.

[Rolling Stone cover]

By: Jake Kilroy

Lauren Conrad wrote a novel called L.A. Candy that will be released next week. That's right...she wrote 336 pages of delightful fiction that she made up herself. It's not a tell-all book, she assures you.

But here's the summary from Amazon.com: Los Angeles is all about the sweet life: hot clubs, cute guys, designer . . . everything. Nineteen-year-old Jane Roberts can't wait to start living it up. She may be in L.A. for an internship, but Jane plans to play as hard as she works, and has enlisted her BFF Scarlett to join in the fun. When Jane and Scarlett are approached by a producer who wants them to be on his new series, a "reality version of Sex and the City," they can hardly believe their luck. Their own show? Yes, please! Soon Jane is TV's hottest star. Fame brings more than she ever imagined possible for a girl from Santa Barbara--free designer clothes, the choicest tables at the most exclusive clubs, invites to Hollywood premieres--and she's lapping up the VIP treatment with her eclectic entourage of new pals. But those same friends who are always up for a wild night are also out for a piece of Jane's spotlight. In a city filled with people chasing after their dreams, it's not long before Jane wakes up to the reality that everyone wants something from her, and nothing is what it seems to be.

Wow. Where does she come up with this kind of stuff? Lauren Conrad is a freakin' literary magician of some kind, you know, with the way she thinly disguises her life. A hundred bucks says most of the book was originally a diary before L.C. did a word search and replaced "I" with "Jane," "Heidi" with "Scarlett," and "guy going down on me" to "gynecologist." I just pray there's a typo that reads, "Seriously, this guy was grinding on me so hard on the dance floor that I could even feel his weiner breathing. It was totally unreal. And then I ...I mean...Jane totally...told him...to, like...knock it off. And then she bought a new sweater, because Jane totally loves new clothes, not kick-ass weiners all up on or in her lower backside. Speaking of anal, Heidi Montag is a dumb bitch."

[Photo Credit: In her off time - aside from being an "actor", star, writer and early retiree - she's also a sailor. What a busy girl! Is that the boss from Office Space behind her? Sure looks like Lumbergh!]

By: Jake Kilroy

According to All Headline News, Elle Macpherson had to lower the asking price of her Notting Hill home by $3 million after failing to find buyers today. In more important news, Elle Macpherson is 45 years old and still looks like a hot sorority girl's hotter older sister.

[Photo Credit: Isn't the photo alone worth $3 million?]

By: Jake Kilroy

In unexpected news, Phil Spector's booking shot was released. Also noted was that the only belonging Spector had on him when he was booked was the Ring of Mordor, which would obviously rule all of Middle Earth.

By: Jake Kilroy

The most recent addition to "The Real Housewives of New York City," Kelly Bensimon, accepted a deal with prosecutors. What is the hot mama being charged with? "Is being a hot mama a crime?" some drunk has probably recently said to her at a nightclub. Anyway, the answer is, "No, being a hot mama is not a crime." However assault is totally and absolutely a crime.

The 40-year-old former model allegedly hit her ex-boyfriend. And she only has to serve two days of community service. That's it. Just two days. She beat up a dude and only has two days. So, apparently, being a hot mama is not a crime but it kinda sorta gets you out of one.

[Photo Credit: Smack that ass!]

By: Jake Kilroy

Jessica Alba was busted for plastering shark posters in Oklahoma City this week. Yes, you read that correctly. Jessica got mixed up with a rag-tag, misguided group of hooligans who like to tag up nice areas of the city by...promoting shark conservation. According to the New York Daily News, Jessica apologized yesterday, saying, "I got involved in something I should have had no part of. I realize that I should have used better judgment and I regret not thinking things through before I made a spontaneous and ill-advised decision to let myself get involved with the people behind this campaign."

What was most impressive was her spot choices of tagging. It was usual spots for art/promotion/vandalism: electrical boxes, bridges...United Way billboards. Yes, Jessica Alba decided to put up a poster of a shark over a spokesperson for the United Way, a charity organization network. Apparently, Jessica saw the image of the spokesperson asking for charitable donations and must've said, "What? Fuck poor people. I'm gonna help sharks." And then she plastered a shark poster over the guy. And then had somebody take a picture of her afterwards while giving the peace sign. Well done, Jessica Alba. Does the poster have important statistics or contact info for shark conservation? No, nothing. It's straight-up just a poster of a shark. 

So it's all very bizarre when Jessica Alba complains about not being as respected as an actress as Natalie Portman. Let's see, Jessica...Natalie Portman graduated from Harvard and graduate studies at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem and now serves as the Ambassador of Hope for FINCA International, does lectures about the Village Banking Campaign and goes on talk show programs to actively discuss microfinance. And you, Jessica, plaster shark posters over charity billboards. Yeah, you're right. Total mystery.

[Photo Credit: Hee, hee! I love sharks and publicity.]

By: Jake Kilroy

Madonna is finally getting herself another kid (named Mercy) after the High Court said, "The Eye of the Child, which opposed the adoption, failed to convince the bench why the orphanage was better for Mercy than Madonna's residence." The Eye of the Child must have rightfully assumed that Madonna shows no mercy. *teehee* What? That joke was no good? Well, either way, Madonna is bat-shit crazy. She's one drug away from deciding to encompass herself entirely in cement and last as a statue for all of her admirers for centuries to come.

[Photo Credit: Is The Eye of the Child similar to The Eye Of The Tiger?]

By: Jake Kilroy

Mark-Paul Gosselaar showed up to Late Night With Jimmy Fallon this week as his legendary character from Saved By The Bell, Zack Morris. I mean...AS Zack Morris, never once breaking character. It was amazing and I hope it means that actors will start doing this regularly. We could have Will Smith as The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, Tom Hanks as his character from Bosom Buddies, Jennifer Hudson as an American Idol contestant...oh, this could just be delightful.

By Jake Kilroy: 

It doesn't seem like it should be that big of a deal if a person posing as a celebrity says, "Get me out of here!" Especially if it's on a show called I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! It almost seems like it's following through with its inane promise. Now, on the other hand, if said "celebrity" is making claims of torture, well, then that's probably a bigger deal.

That's exactly what Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag were claiming last week. Meanwhile, as of this week, everybody else involved in anything ever have said that these torture accusations are false. It appears that it was just one more massive waste of our time as they once again tried to be more talked about.

*sigh*...Ok, I feel like it's now finally reached the point where "Speidi" owes this entire nation one gigantic apology. They have stolen our time, our attentions and our web space where we could have read yet another interview with Jennifer Aniston, where she brings up Brad Pitt just to deny that she likes talking about Brad Pitt. Also, I'm quite sure that Spencer also stole his beard from a high school freshman and Heidi stole her face off of a My Little Pony. So...you know...the whole theft thing isn't cool.

Heidi has been less of a burden on this nation though. It's like she's reached such an intimidating level of delusion that she might as well be Norma Desmond from Sunset Blvd.

Spencer, on the other hand, SHOULD be sentenced to torture. I think they (by "they," I mean television show producers / the government / anyone with enough muscle and gusto) should convince Spencer Pratt to go "water-boarding." He'll ask what it is and then "they" will explain, "Oh man, Spencer, it's this crazy sport that's a mixture of every boarding sport on water. It's kind of like surfing...in a way. Also, it will make you famous AND socially accepted in all demographics. " And then he'll agree to it. And then we'll all feel guiltless and better.

[Photo Credit: Heidi Montag, acting her ass off. Spencer does not get a photo, and will never get a photo on this site! I'm breaking my "No Speidi" rule this week only - and only because Jake makes me laugh. So suck on that, Spencer.]

By Jake Kilroy:

Earlier this week, Jon Voight was the master of ceremonies for a Republican fundraiser, where he called Obama's administration "the oppression" and suggested that we may just be "sitting, waiting and watching for the possibility of a new holocaust." Jon made President Obama seem like a terrifying mix of Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, J.R. Ewing and Cobra Commander. It seemed a little bit over-the-top. Also, I find this ironic, as Jon's last role was as Jonas Hodges, the betrayer of America in 24. I wish Jack Bauer would put Jon Voight in his place already.

[Editor: And now I know why Angelina Jolie doesn't talk to him - he's frickin' crazy! Hearing this makes me have compassion for Angie. Damn, I hate that!]

[Photo Credit]

And PLP readers, meet Jake Kilroy! Jake is an amazing writer - he's also the founder of one of my favorite blogs, Fake Book Covers, which is currently on hiatus. Jake's been kind enough to help me out while I wrap up business in Vegas. Thanks, Jake! I'm off to interview Alicia Jacobs this afternoon. I can't wait to share the scoop with you, so stay tuned. Meanwhile, please enjoy content by Jake and thanks for tuning in!

Apparently, Kate Hudson is dating Yankee Alex Rodriguez. In case you don't keep up on overpaid athletes, Alex and his ex-wife divorced just last year amidst and/or due to allegations that Rodriguez was sporting an affair with massively overzealous has-been Madonna. Well, thankfully, for Kate, Madonna lost interest in A-Rod's a-rod. It's a good thing that Kate doesn't have a washed up famous blonde that's all about dressing 30 years younger as her mother. That would probably be trouble.

[Photo Credit: Is A-Rod smart enough to tell them apart? That is the question!]

It's difficult to feel bad for Jamie Kennedy, on any level, but if he was desperate before I'd think he's been raised to code level orange at this point. Here's an excerpt from his recent radio interview with girlfriend, Jennifer Love Hewitt, via Webster's Is My Bitch:

[Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jamie Kennedy, went on L.A.'s Johnjay and Rich show to deny engagement rumors after the two were allegedly spotted shopping in a Las Vegas jewelry shop. And even though they're not yet engaged, since they've been together all of two months now Jennifer was very clear in letting him know that she expects to be in the very near future.

When her boyfriend heard the engagement reports, "the poor guy was on fire," she went on. "He was like, 'No, no, no. That's not true!'"

Added the actress, "I was like, 'God, would that be the worst thing in the world?! Excuse me, but just for a second, there's a line of people who would probably be OK with that [rumor].'"

Kennedy said he didn't mean to upset his girlfriend. "The thing is, people asked me, 'Are you engaged?' And I just said, 'No, not that the moment, I'd be a very lucky man,'" he said. "And she got mad at me!"

Kennedy then asked Hewitt for a proposal timeline. Replied Hewitt, "A timeline? By this time next year, if we're not planning something, then there's a situation.]

That's hot, as Paris Hilton would say! Nothing like proposing to yourself and demanding marriage. It's almost like a Harlequin Romance, but a lot dirtier. I imagine Jamie has to promise eternal love to Hewitt every time he jacks off, much less every time they "do it." She probably cries and accuses him of wasting baby juice when he masturbates. "Those could have been my children, you selfish asshole!" Desperation, insecurity and control issues - sounds like an awesome relationship.

[Photo Credit: Jennifer smiles, confident that she has a group of men lining up to be her next fiance.]