Panty Line Press is on a brief summer vacation. The road trip I've attempted to take has turned into more of a mental holiday. A refueling, if you will! Posting on PLP will resume at the end of this week. Thanks for your understanding and I hope you return this way soon! xoxoAugust 2009 Archives
Panty Line Press is on a brief summer vacation. The road trip I've attempted to take has turned into more of a mental holiday. A refueling, if you will! Posting on PLP will resume at the end of this week. Thanks for your understanding and I hope you return this way soon! xoxo
A rumor has surfaced that Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper are engaged. For their sake, I really hope this is not true. Unless it's a desperate bid to hide some unimaginable P.R. nightmare on either end - in which case, have at it! A very small amount of details, just for you: [Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger, who recently went public
with their romance in Barcelona, Spain, are reportedly engaged. According to
Glamorati, Cooper took Zellweger to his Philadelphia hometown to meet the
parents and announce their engagement.
The website claims Renee has been spotted wearing a "simple but elegant
diamond ring" which she took off for her David Letterman appearance last week. Cooper
and Zellweger are co-stars in the upcoming film, "Case 39."]
Did they learn nothing from their respective quickie unions of yore? Renee had an infamously brief marriage to country star Kenny Chesney, which was eventually annulled on a count of fraud. Bradley experienced whirlwind nuptials with Jennifer Esposito. Does another shortcut courting to altar route really sound like a good idea?
No, not Paris Hilton's favorite pastime. Ryan Jenkins, a contestant on Megan Wants A Millionaire, is still a wanted 'person of interest' in the murder of Jasmine Fiore. Ryan and Jasmine were wed this March, a mere two days after meeting in Las Vegas. He called in his wife's disappearance and seemingly fled the country shortly thereafter. VH1 has since cancelled the program, out of respect for the victim's family. Here's the station's announcement regarding the show: [Ryan Jenkins was a contestant on Megan Wants A Millionaire,
an outside production, produced and owned by 51 Minds, that is licensed to VH1.
The show completed production at the end of March. Given the unfortunate
circumstances, VH1 has postponed any future airings. This is a tragic situation
and our thoughts go out to the victim's family.]
Click here for links to the couple's wedding photo, as well a more details regarding this horrible event. We may never know the conclusion of Megan Wants A Millionaire, but it seems Jenkins must have been involved for a lengthy portion of the program in order for VH1 to cancel the show. Thoughts go out to Jasmine's family during this awful time.
[Photo Credit: Call the police if you see this man. As of this post he's not an official suspect, but he is requested for questioning.]
[UPDATE: Ryan committed suicide in a hotel in Canada, which doesn't go very far in clearing his name. A sad story, all the way around. TMZ has a ton of details on the case if you'd like to read more details.]
Wouldn't it be awesome to learn that someone didn't even remember having sex with you? How about if you were carrying that person's child? That's the fate Samantha Burke has inflicted upon herself by deciding to have Jude Law's baby. Jude has catapulted himself into the realm of Gene Simmons and/or Slash territory with this latest revelation. He's instantly become way less attractive - in my mind at least. Not that my distaste for him will fuck up his program. Check it out: [It's hard being a young twentysomething lady who loves
famous people. If everyone isn't calling you a fame whore, then you're just
trying to get whatever famous person responsible for knocking you up to
remember you. A close friend of Samantha's steps up and tells E! exclusive
details of the brief relationship between the Sherlock Holmes actor and the
aspiring model. It all started once upon a time in a club: "She met him at a
club in New York," says the friend. "He was sick, so she kept going to his hotel
over the course of a week to take care of him." And then poor, sick Jude didn't remember her after she did
everything she could (even a steady dose of sex, obvi) to nurse him back to
health: "Jude didn't even remember her. She hasn't seen him since New York.
They've only been in contact through their lawyers."]
I wonder if Samantha is asking herself, "Is this really worth it?" Sure, everyone knows her name - but the rumors attached to it are a lot less pretty than she. As for Jude - yuck!
[Photo Credit: One way to fame.]
Well, isn't that special! Claire Danes is set to wed fellow actor Hugh Dancy - and she now (conveniently) believes in monogamy. Claire, as you may or may not remember, was the 'other woman' who had a hand in breaking up Mary-Louise Parker's long-term relationship with baby-daddy Billy Crudup. I hope Mary-Louise is getting her best sexy ready - it's time for a little game of tit for tat! Details:
[Claire Danes, who was famously blamed for breaking up
ex-boyfriend Billy Crudup's relationship with a pregnant Mary-Louise Parker,
has subsequently given a lot of thought to the subject of monogamy. "I was
talking to my friend about [whether it] is feasible, is it realistic?"
Danes muses in September's BlackBook, adding, "I resolved that there isn't
really a better model. We just can't shake monogamy. It definitely demands a
kind of rigor and discipline and selflessness. But it's also fun." Danes
is now engaged to Brit actor Hugh Dancy.]
I don't know how comforted I would feel if I were Hugh Dancy. I'm in a years-long relationship and it doesn't take a large amount of discipline to keep someone from entering my vagina. I'd be kind of bummed if my fiance considered not sticking his penis somewhere else a 'selfless' act. To each his/her own. I guess it might be more of a challenge if I were a blonde movie star instead of a brunette blogger...
[Photo Credit: Ah, the strain of not fucking around.]
Jason Schwartzman married his longtime girlfriend, Brady Cunningham, in a mellow ceremony earlier this summer. It's nice to know that a celeb can still wed in relative privacy these days! Jason is one of those amazing actors who actually has the chops to do his job but doesn't court the tabloids like they're his air. In an interesting side note, Schwartzman's ex, Zooey Deschanel, will also be getting married soon. Deschanel is engaged to Death Cab For Cutie's Ben Gibbard. Brangelina vs. Jennifer Aniston this ain't. Both parties have moved on in happiness with appropriate mates. How refreshing! Congratulations all around!Gotta love the news - I also get paid to state the obvious! It is a little over three minutes of your life - but I don't know anyone who's opposed to a good laugh... Is partying on the subway a new way to alleviate the stress of the depression recession?
So Bradley Cooper has supposedly 'chosen' Renee Zellweger over Jennifer Aniston. If there's anything Jen needs, it's more rejection. I hear it does great things for the old self esteem! Thanks to Celebitchy for the insightful story on this one. They make a plausible point regarding Bradley's 'decision' - mainly that Aniston and Cooper both employ management via CAA, while Zellweger has recently left the fold for William-Morris. This means if the hookup was mainly for P.R. it would be a lot easier to go with the Jennifer 'option.' Though the Bradley/Renee union could be a 'staged' event, it seems there might be an actual connection on some level. Interesting! [The romance between Renée Zellweger and Bradley Cooper
appears to be heating up, but the pair aren't ready for the spotlight just yet. "They get along really well and just kinda click," a source
tells PEOPLE in the upcoming issue. "Bradley likes the speed of everything. He
likes that Reneé is low-key." The pair, who costar in the upcoming thriller Case 39,
recently spent time in Spain together, then returned to the States, where they
each went their separate ways - briefly. On Saturday, Zellweger attended the premiere of her new
movie My One and Only in Wainscott, N.Y., while Cooper was a guest at Alyssa
Milano's wedding in New Jersey that same evening. But the cozy costars soon met up again. Sunday night, they
attended a private party together in New York City, then were spotted at a
Starbucks in Philadelphia on Monday. As for why Cooper didn't come to Zellweger's screening and
she didn't accompany him to the wedding, the source tells PEOPLE: "They're not
ready for red carpets. They don't want to be public just yet."]
What does Renee have that Jennifer doesn't? A lack of high profile baggage is the most obvious (and resounding) answer...
My new favorite show, Megan Wants A Millionaire, has run into some serious behind-the-scenes drama. One of the richy-rich contestants competing for Megan's hand is a "person of interest" in a recent murder investigation! This is a crazy/creepy story - seemingly ripped from a CSI special, only this is very real...
Jon Gosselin is still a douche! Jon's earning quite a reputation for his bad behavior - so much so that even home station TLC is getting sick of his antics. Details regarding Jon and soon to be ex-wife Kate: [Today, we're hearing more about their financial states. And
desperate to get his own show and earn more money for himself, Jon
has been taking meetings to star in a new reality series, including a show
called Divorced Dad's Club. His only roadblock is his continued contract with TLC, but
from what we hear, that won't be a problem much longer. Apparently, TLC is just as tired of this guy's crap as we
are, only they're paying him so we bet they're more pissed. Jon is not living
up to his namesake for the show, so much so that TLC "fired off a letter
to him, claiming he was in violation of the morals clause of his contract,
partly because he's been seen going in and out of bars and drinking." Meanwhile, Kate is picking up much of the slack with the
show, even when it isn't her custody days.]
It's pretty amazing when someone acts like such a jerk that people actually garner compassion for Kate - who was formerly considered a complete bitch. Way to go Jon - I guess you did have one hidden talent!
[Photo Credit: Party on.]
Milla Jovovich is on my "I Adore" list, if only for the fact that she was a self-described fat ass during her first pregnancy. The model/actress was absolutely primal when with child - she says she actually craved (and ate) bone marrow. I have a difficult time getting that image out of my head when I see her - though I assume I'm alone on that one! This hot photo shoot, courtesy of Maxim, has gone a long ways towards wiping the slate clean. Click here for more photos of the beautiful Milla, now with a different kind of bone! [Photo Credit: Yeah, I'd say she's recovered nicely from her "fat" days.]
Lindsay Lohan isn't known as a bastion of sanity these days - but at least she knows to keep her father away from her. Seeing what Michael Lohan is capable of gives me compassion for Lindsay. Sometimes crazy is as close as the nearest relative - or, in Michael's case, the nearest body guard. More: [Seems Lindsay Lohan is hanging on to her resentment for her
father Michael Lohan as much as he is holding on to whatever drops of fame he
can scoop up. At a breast cancer benefit on Saturday night in
Bridgehampton, LiLi was annoyed to find her father also received an invite as
he proceeded to follow her around to grab her attention. Lindsay was having none of it and completely ignored him,
asking a bodyguard to stand closer to her to get her father off her back. Michael then took another approach by announcing he had a
change of heart when it came to Lezlo's girlfriend saMANtha Ronson, saying
"I was misled by people who had their own agenda . . . I was wrong and I'm
very sorry. I wish the best for them."]
I'd have to say LiLo is operating at a serious parental deficit. As for her mother? Well, she's willing to sell Lindsay out to the highest bidder - and this is from the parent that won "Mother of the Year" a few years back. Now wonder Lindsay clings to Samantha Ronson like a life raft.
[Photo Credit: Another messy breakup. Now we know where she learned it!]
Oh, Madonna! I'd totally forgotten about her relationship with Jesus Luz. She must have sensed our fascination was waning - we've been reminded, just in the nick of time. Sigh. [MADONNA says Jesus Luz is "the love of her life". The singer praised the 22-year-old Brazilian model in a
speech at her 51st birthday party in Portofino, Italy, on Sunday before running
across the room to passionately kiss him. As friends looked on, Madonna gushed: "He's the love of my
life. He has been so strong around me. I can't thank him enough." The next morning, the couple looked blissfully happy as they
boarded a luxury yacht with Madonna's children - Lourdes, 12, Rocco, eight,
Mercy, four, and David, three. As the children relaxed on the deck, Madge and her lover
frolicked in the ocean, with Madonna - whose ex-husband is British director Guy
Ritchie - shunning a skimpy bikini in favour of a basketball uniform emblazoned
with her name. An onlooker said: "She and Jesus looked madly in love and it
was great to see her looking so happy. They just looked like any normal family
enjoying a holiday together."]
Madge, I'm sick of your game. Reinvention is one thing - flat out lying is another. No wonder you and Gwyneth Paltrow are so tight - both of you seem to assume that yer shit don't stink. I'm sure Guy Ritchie is thrilled to have wasted a decade with you...
[Photo Credit: Jesus sheds tears for Guy Ritchie.]
Demi Moore, Rumer Willis and male strippers. It's not a nightmare folks, it's reality! That's what went down for Rumer's 21st birthday, courtesy of her mother. I don't know why this disturbs me. The fact that Rumer's stepfather is closer to her age than her mother's should be odd enough. But Demi always knows how to kick it up a notch - though she usually reserves the crafty energy for the plastic surgery. [Photo Credit: Lap dances in Vegas sounds lovely - sans parental protection.]
The Twilight Saga: New Moon 'Meet Jacob Black' Preview in HD
Yep, still reeling from this Eric Dane/Rebecca Gayheart news. It makes an affair with a werewolf seem so innocent now. Actually, it makes an alleged affair with a coworker seem totally tame. A possible hookup between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart is now accepted as fact - and it's safe to assume there're no crack pipes or hookers involved. How refreshing! Oh, and this trailer looks really cool too. I'm I the only one who can't stand reading the books but enjoys the movies?
Eric Dane (aka Dr. McSteamy) and his wife, Rebecca Gayheart (aka the Noxzema girl who was allegedly caught kickin' it in the bathtub with a crack pipe) have really upped the ante on celebrity sex tapes! I'd be in more shock if I still wasn't recovering from the hellish road trip I decided to embark upon. I'm still numb. I guess I'm the only one that appreciated the irony of a fatal accident on one side of the freeway and cruising next to a semi filled with coffins on the other. Not kidding - I couldn't make this shit up. Anyways, back to the way more important stuff - sex tape scandals! Thanks to Bitten & Bound for the details: [A 12-minute sex tape featuring Grey's Anatomy's Dr.
McSteamy, Eric Dane and wife Rebecca Gayheart, with fallen beauty queen Kari
Ann Peniche has hit the internet. Peniche, a former Miss Teen USA, lost her crown in 2002
after she posed for Playboy. The
25-year-old was kicked off Dr. Drew Pinsky's Celebrity Rehab earlier this year,
where she was being treated for sex addiction. She allegedly threw vases at cast and crew, stole from her
roommate, Mindy McCready, and hosted "drug dealer types" at the Sun Valley
sober house. Peniche is most recently rumored to be working as a madam in
Hollywood, calling herself "Tristan Bailey." She had reportedly been showing the video of the threesome
around to friends. Beverly Hills 90210's Gayheart, 38, made headlines in 2001
when she ran over and killed a nine-year-old boy crossing the street, while
talking on her cell phone. Controversy caught up with her again in June, when
the National Enquirer ran a 2003 photo of her with a crack pipe and another
woman in a bathtub. The threesome appear inebriated in the video as they lounge
around nude in Peniche's apartment.
At one point Gayheart says she needs to lie down because she's so high.]
Wow! Talk about things aren't as they seem - this clean cut couple is anything but! Click here for more information, via Gawker - including links to the sex tape. Do it quick, before it gets taken down - this is good stuff. Eric and Rebecca have thrown the gauntlet - now we can only wait with baited breath to see how Paris Hilton responds...
[Photo Credit: Not so innocent!]
Heather Mills has made a name for herself by carrying a touch of the crazy - and now she gets to pass it on to her daughter. Check it: ["Beatrice questions everybody who eats animals When we were in the south of France,
there was a buffet for kids, and by the end of the week no one would sit near
us because she would go over and say, 'Why are you eating that cow's bottom?'
or 'Oh, look at that little shrimp with little eyes."]
Not that there's anything wrong with being a vegan - but Heather helmed one of the most costly divorces in history. Surely she could afford a little bit of meat for her kid? Look - it's a horse's ass! Oh wait, it's just mommy. I'm still on the road - I'll finally arrive at my destination this evening. In the meantime, I'll be sure to have some vacation bacon in Heather's honor. I'm sure even Sir Paul McCartney would approve!
[Photo Credit: Heather Mills, back in the day. Looks like she's holding some meat in this picture - I guess she wasn't always a vegan!]
Kendra Wilkinson, while adorable, isn't exactly known for her brilliance. Thusly, when it came to naming her baby I wasn't holding out much hope for originality. Has she surprised me? No. She's looked no further than her husband's name - the impending baby boy will be a Junior. For a woman claiming the intention of wanting to keep her child out of the spotlight, we sure do know a lot about him - and he's not even born yet! Here it is in Kendra's own words, because that's always entertaining: [Hank and i have soooo much to do to prepare for our baby's
arrival, but one thing we can already cross off our list is coming up with a
name. We've already decided to
name our son Hank Baskett IV!!! Hank's dad and his grandfather were both named Hank, so it
was very important to us to carry on the family tradition. I can't wait to meet my little Hank.]
Oh, Kendra - it wouldn't be you if it wasn't just a little too much!
Remember that juicy little rumor floating around that Jessica Simpson was in talks to pen a tell-all about her love life? It was said to be worth big bucks - it's just a shame it's not true. Apparently Jessica's lawyer has stepped in to to demand an apology. Miss Chaste will never reveal - that just isn't ladylike! Formal details, thanks to Gossip Cop: [The lawyer is asking for a retraction to a story about how
Simpson was penning a 'kiss and tell' about the men with whom she's had
relationships. The article also stated that her father intended to sell the
book for $5 million.
Specifically, the letter (page one, page two, page three)
says that:
(1) "Joe Simpson is not brokering or attempting to broker a
'kiss and tell.'"
(2) "Miss Simpson is not working on and has no intention of
publishing a book concerning her past romantic relationships."
(3) "Star's false assertions concerning supposed details of
Miss Simpson's intimate interactions in her prior relationships are unseemly
and scandalous."
According to the three-page letter, "Miss Simpson hereby
demands that Star immediately publish a prominent and unambiguous retraction of
the Article and that the magazine cease and desist from publishing any further
false and misleading allegations concerning Miss Simpson."]
Argh! Disappointment is running deep on this one. However, it is a relief to know that her own father isn't brokering a book about his daughter's sexual suitors. Although I bet he's kicking himself that he didn't think of the book deal first!
[Photo Credit: Take your pick, Jess!]
So, I'm on an impromptu road trip. Something that was supposed to fun has turned kind of hellish. Perhaps there's some U.S. holiday I'm not aware of - because the insane amount of traffic on the highway seems to indicate this to be the case. That space between my car and the vehicle in front of me? That's a little bit of breathing room for safety, not for someone to pass on the right. The slamming on the brakes was really exciting - I'm just bummed I didn't get the memo that we were all gonna stop short outside of the town limits for no reason. As a treat, at the end of an extremely long day of driving, was the motel that advertised internet - which didn't work. I assume at some point this experiment will take a turn for the better. Oh - in the meantime, here's a naked Helena Christensen in an extremely awkward pose. She looks better than I feel, if that gives you any clue. 
The relationship that was never really confirmed is rumored to be over. Britney Spears was linked to her longtime manager and friend, Jason Trawick. It seemed to be a Jamie Spears approved match, but it sadly may never come to fruition... [Britney Spears has been dumped by boyfriend Jason Trawick,
according to reports. The Toxic singer was apparently keen to settle down with
Jason -- who was her agent -- and have his baby. Britney believed she had found Mr. Right in Trawick. But Jason thought things were moving too fast, sources have
told the National Enquirer. "It was just too fast, too soon for Jason," said the
insider. "He told Britney repeatedly that he would never marry, but she refused
to believe him. "She thought she could change his mind by having a baby with
him."]
I'm a little disappointed in Jason - he's had a ringside seat to Brit's circus (so to speak) for years and should have known what he was getting into. As for Brit - stop hanging out Lindsay Lohan! As a matter of fact - stay away from Cheetos, booze, Frapuccinos, backup dancers and sleazy paparazzi. You've permanently lost your fun pass.
[Photo Credit: Ah, memories! It's like seeing an old friend!]
Tom Cruise. Little. Action. Hands. Five words that go very well together. I should have added 'alone.' Who's following in his footsteps? Apparently good old Ryan Seacrest! Click here for photos of Ryan standing on a box to gain some height. He's trying to claim that he's 5'10'' - but I'm guessing not even lifts would get him there. Maybe he should tuck a million dollars in the heel of each shoe - he may not be tall, but he's got cash to spare. I guess it all 'evens out.' It seems only appropriate that Ryan get ribbed a little here - it's the very least of what he deserves for for inflicting the Kardashian sisters upon the world!
x
Apparently the Jessica Simpson/Tony Romo breakup is still the talk of the town - and it makes me wonder who's still doing the chatting. The latest amongst a myriad of rumors? It was Jessica's drinking that finally drove a wedge between the two. Uh-huh:
Apparently the Jessica Simpson/Tony Romo breakup is still the talk of the town - and it makes me wonder who's still doing the chatting. The latest amongst a myriad of rumors? It was Jessica's drinking that finally drove a wedge between the two. Uh-huh: [Supposedly, Simpson's incessant drinking became a source
of contention between the couple, resulting in Romo's pals urging him to break
it off with the singer.
"Jessica would get really drunk and obnoxious, it was
out of control. She would be sprawled everywhere with he head on his lap and
the look on Tony's face said it all," said an insider. "He was so
embarrassed in front of all the guys and his teammates were really harsh on him
over it. Breaking up was a really hard decision for Tony to make."
It is also said that Romo really loved Jessica and stood up
for her in front of his friends, but the situation spiraled out of control. A
pal close to Simpson claims that her drinking was never the problem, but the
numerous issues between them that caused the split. "She was devastated
and it did come as a shock, however," added the source.]
I don't know who's leaking this faulty info, but it reeks of Romo-favoritism. Tony was clearly not in love with her - it's already been indicated that he was looking for any way out of the relationship. And wasn't he cheating on her? That doesn't exactly sound like he was struggling with a decision to breakup. Hasn't he been nasty enough? I'm sure Jess can be a sloppy drunk - but in this case it's beside the fact.
[Photo Credit: Odd, they looked so happy.]
Good-bye, Reno 911. The beloved sketch ensemble has been cancelled by Comedy Central, soon to be no more. This smells an awful lot like an Arrested Development situation. Unappreciated genuis - only recognized when it's too late. Sigh. I think I'm gonna hop in my car and head to Reno - it's only fitting to give this amazing show a proper goodbye. Thomas Lennon Twittered about the program's demise - and we know he only Tweets the truth. So sad. Sorry about the crappy quality of the video, but it's one of my favorite scenes from the Reno 911 movie. FYI - contains a few swear words. Volume alert, in case you're at work. xo
Those Kardashian sisters! They may not be the brightest bunch, but they sure know how to keep it interesting. Read the latest mini-scandal: [Khloe explains that she found some coke in a vial at her new
Dash store in Miami, Florida. Khloe said, "It was in a vial at our new store, Dash Miami,
and at first I didn't even know what it was. My employee was picking up a pile
of clothes that customers had tried on, and it fell out. She called me into the
dressing room, and it was in a little glass vial. I was leaving the dressing
room, and a lot of customers walked in. I didn't know what to do, so I threw it
in my purse. I was like, 'I'll dispose of this in a second,' and I went to help
them. Then I forgot about it." The big problem is that she's already on probation for her
DUI. Think she'll get the book thrown at her?]
What's with this family? Or is it the fault of reality television? They certainly are willing to oblige the PR machine. First Kim pays Reggie not to break up with her. Then Kourtney forgets to take her birth control pills and gets knocked up. Now Khloe whisks cocaine into her purse - all to help out some shoppers. That's some customer service! I'm not sure, but I think these girls skipped kollege...
[Photo Credit: Loud and proud.]
I'm talking about the fruit. Miley Cyrus has landed a deal to link her image with a very unique item - cherries! Well, that's certainly an interesting promotional idea. What happened to truth in advertising though? Does that mean nothing anymore? A few details: [These new Hannah Montana cherries have just hit the market
and let me tell you, it's kind of interesting, to say the least. The Hannah Montana movie happens to be about a
sixteen-year-old girl who ponders losing her virginity. So, she has to decide
whether or not her "precious gift" (cherry) gets given away. What do you think? Are you a fan of Disney Garden's organic
fruits and vegetables? Or is this being made to be something it's not?]
This has got to be the most bizarre movie to product tie-in ever. Who thought this was a good idea and has that person been fired yet?
[Photo Credit: You can buy Miley's cherries!]
Drama continues to roil around the Gosselins and last night was no different. Though their ratings have dropped drastically, Jon's penchant for cheap pussy has not. And the fighting between the former couple? Well, that has yet to cease. Apparently Kate is none too thrilled that the nanny Jon allegedly had a fling with is still taking care of her kids. Read on: [So Kate Gosselin stopped by the family home when it wasn't
her time to visit. (You recall, the adults each have their own home and they
only stay with the kids at the big house when it's there turn to have custody)
She was angry that Jon Gosselin had hired some whore to be his nanny, Stephanie
Santoro (single mom, model, cocktail waitress, apparently will pose nude, durka
durka durka). She flipped a $hit cause Jon wouldn't let her in the house.
Someone called the police and the drama kept on going. No one was arrested but
Kate ran off crying and checked into a local hotel. I wanna know when this
episode is gonna air cause you can count me in for sure. Oh, apparently, Jon
boinked this chick, too. But he's still dating Hailey Glassman.]
Click here for pictures of Kate checking into a Days Inn. Geez, I hope she at least got a king size bed. Lady deserves a little luxury.
Hayden Panettiere, you're quickly turning into my favorite person to bash. When I'm tired and there's no coffee in sight, I turn to you. You're easy - and I'm sure it's not the first time you've heard that! I wouldn't be so eager to give you a hard time, but you're morphing into someone who says ridiculously offensive things - much like another television starlet who can't keep her mouth shut. Katherine Heigl, I'm looking to you. Here's the latest, from the mouth of Hayden: ["It's very, very difficult and people have no idea what they
do to peoples' relationships. They destroy them. The paparazzi and the public.
The public wants to read about your personal life, and the paparazzi give it to
them by nosing into your personal life and saying things that are just not true
and horrible...I used to walk my dogs in my pajamas. You know something's not
right when you're lying in bed for 15 minutes in the morning going, 'How do I
get milk for cereal without having to leave my house? I would be so happy if I
could walk down the street without someone coming out of the buses."]
This is in reference to how the public and the paparazzi teamed up to ruin her romance with much older costar, Milo Ventimiglia. I remember that now. There was that petition going around to ruin Hayden's life and I totally signed. Ugh, I feel like such a jerk now. I only wish she could walk by all those buses in peace. If only all those people riding the buses would have the decency to wait and get off at the next stop. There's just no respect for pajama-clad, dog-walkin' celebrities any more.
[Photo Credit: Caught ya!]
I recently posted about Jessica Simpson's rather active extra-curricular love life. The former virgin has allegedly hosted the likes of John Mayer, Dane Cook, Adam Levine, Johnny Knoxville, Bam Magera, Tony Romo and Jude Law. That's a decent amount of bone for a girl who was once saving herself for marriage. I'm just saying. Anyways - in the midst of all this news, I forgot to mention a very salient and salacious detail: John Mayer has nude photos of Jessica. Not only that, he loves to show them off to his friends. John - synonymous with pimp class. Think about this: John has nude photos, Dane made her pee on set, Jude's sperm barely missed it's mark and Tony shuttled her around the bedroom in a garter clad cheerleader's uniform. This is all since her divorce was finalized in June of 2006.[Photo Credit: Two forms of protection!]
One thing we know about Megan Fox - she gives good promo. Here's a great peek into a faux PSA for Jennifer's Body. I love how Megan introduces herself as "Actress Megan Fox." Good thing, because I could have easily forgotten. It's been several days since we've seen Foxy around here - I can't say that I missed her. How about you?
From the sound of things, Katie Holmes might be rousing from her long slumber - and she may not like what she's found upon waking! Despite heading stateside for a bit, Tom Cruise has returned to Australia to be by Katie's side while she continues to film Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark. It doesn't sound like all is well in Loverville - the two were recently caught fighting on the set. [Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and their daughter Suri Wednesday
were snapped by paps on the Melbourne, Australia set of Holmes' thriller, Don't
Be Afraid Of The Dark. The Top Gun star, according to onlookers, chatted with fans.
Spies say Holmes grew irritated with her A-list hubby, and when he returned,
words were exchanged and Tom, clad in a cute black sweater and tight jeans,
stormed up the street.]
Perhaps Katie needs a reminder that he starred in Days of Thunder - not Don't Steal My Thunder. Holmes has certainly been missing something if she thinks her hubby is good at laying low... but good for her for giving him a little grief. Someone needs to give him a hard time.
[Photo Credit: I'll ask you again, Katie - is it worth it?]
Oh, Jessica! Who knew she had it in her? Apparently the real question is who hasn't she had in her? I'm not sure if this is rumor or fact - but I'm literally praying this is true. Jessica Simpson is said to be earning a big paycheck for a very revealing tell-all, and it turns out she has a lot to tell! Details: [Jessica Simpson is planning to write a multi-million dollar
tell-all, which will spill details about her ex-boyfriends and her "love
luggage" - her weight. Tony Romo liked her to dress up as a cheerleader, but with
garter belts, stockings and high heels. And he'd bring food into the bedroom. John Mayer would talk baby talk in bed and was always
begging her to experiment - he wanted her to go to sex parties "just to look." Jess might reveal how she fell for Dane Cook while filming
Employee Of The Month "when he made her laugh so hard he made her pee her pants
on the set." And! A source says: "She'll probably write about one wild
night she had with Jude Law in New York, and how close she came to being his
baby mama."]
Good lord! That's what she said - back in the day when she was an engaged virgin. I agree with Celebitchy: if you're gonna put it all out there, please also spill the beans about Johnny Knoxville. Jesus, that guy is hot. Adam Levine from Maroon Five? Well, she was probably depressed from her divorce so I'll give her a pass on that account. I didn't realize Jessica was in a race with Paris Hilton for "Most Random Hookups." Very impressive. Looks like it was worth saving herself... I'll bet Nick (Lachey) really appreciates all those years of blue ballin' it!
[Photo Credit: No wonder she's smiling!]
What better way to wrap up the summer than by having a fling with Jon Gosselin in Vegas? I can't think of a sexier hookup - unless you could snag Kevin Federline. Jon will be joining the ranks of "celebrities" hosting Sin City pool parties - because that seems like the appropriate job for an absent father of eight. Details, via Bitten & Bound: [Wet Republic at MGM Grand has arranged to have the father of
eight on hand to serve as guest host at the trendy poolside party on August 29. Gosselin won't have to work too hard for his paycheck. There will be a dj on hand to keep the
tunes flowing. Jon will simply
have to chat it up with the bikini crowd and occasionally take the microphone
to interact with his peeps, who will be lounging, frolicking in the pool, and
hanging in the surrounding cabanas. Who knows, if it works out, he might become a regular
fixture as a party host. Something
tells us TLC won't be bringing a film crew to catch that action. We're just saying... The reality show dad plans to stick around Sin City in order
to attend the fashion trade show MAGIC, where he is likely to hook up with his
new business BFF Christian Audigier, who owns the famous fashion line Ed
Hardy. The trade show runs from
August 31-September 2.]
This could work out great for his next skanky hookup. There should be loads of ladies to choose from - and, if the mood strikes, he could get hitched again real easily. Or at least lead another "lady" on until they reach the chapel. Can't wait to check out the clothes - those are gonna be not hot!
... because this is cheesy! It's Complicated boasts a great cast and a schlocky script. I'm drawn to it because of the Alec Baldwin/Meryl Streep combo - and the fact that it has nothing to do with Denise Richards. Ha ha. It's somehow dark, gray and rainy where I'm at today - despite the assumption of summer - so I guess movies are on my mind. The script comes from the same woman who penned The Holiday - the flick that briefly hooked up Jude Law with Cameron Diaz. What naughty stories will come from this set?
Hot hookups in hotels? Sounds like romance to me! Whether or not this really confirms Robert Pattinson's love for Kristen Stewart is up for debate, but it's an interesting little tidbit nonetheless. From Life & Style: [Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart helped Twilight win
best movie romance and best kiss at the 2009 Teen Choice awards on Aug. 9. But
things are even steamier between the two leads offscreen. After spending two
difficult months apart while they worked on different projects 3,000 miles away
from each other, on Aug. 5 the co-stars reunited for five blissful days in LA --
and their romance was instantly back on. "From the way they act, it's clear
that Rob and Kristen are together -- and in love," says an insider who witnessed
the meet-up. "It seems that they can't stay away from each other."
Robert and Kristen's five-day PDA fest shocked more than
just their die-hard fans. "I saw the pictures -- getting in cabs together, going
for lunch," Nikki Reed, who plays Rosalie Hale in Twilight, said to Rob during
their Alaska Airlines flight from LA to Vancouver on Aug. 10. "I thought you
were going to keep it undercover?"
Confirming his relationship with Kristen, Rob whispered for Nikki to keep her voice down. But it appears there's just no hiding the love between him and Kristen, especially now that they're reunited for the 10-week Eclipse shoot. "Rob likes interesting, smart girls," Justin Chon, who plays high school student Eric Yorkie in the Twilight saga, tells Life & Style. "I think once he finds the right girl, Rob's a real relationship kind of guy."]
Well, I'm still a little skeptical - but a fling would certainly make those long hours of filming a lot more interesting!
Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger have confirmed their romance by grabbing each other's butts in Spain. Yeah, I'd say it's on. A few deets: [Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger confirmed dating rumors
by going public with their romance in Spain. The couple were photographed getting cozy in Barcelona,
where Cooper attended the Spanish premiere of "The Hangover." Rumors that Cooper, 34, and Zellweger, 40, were dating began
just after speculation the actor was romantically involved with Jennifer
Aniston (also 40). The media has already dubbed the latest Hollywood hookup
"Cooger." Fitting, no?]
Click here for the butt grab photos - you know you want to! I don't know about this match - kinda seems like the big yawn. Ever since he squired Denise Richards about town, he lost something. And as for Jennifer Aniston? I guess she let another one slip through her fingers...
[Photo Credit: What's really going on, Bradley?]
Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett are having a baby boy! How do I know this? Because it's up on her website, complete with a photo of the ultrasound. Ah, the day and age we live in. Pretty interesting move, for someone who claims she wants privacy for her baby. Here's her take on the situation: [Hi everyone. I
just left the doctor's office and I couldn't wait another minute to tell you
guys...Hank and I are having a baby boy!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!
When the doctor told me I was just like OH MY GOD, I'm going to have a
son!!!!! Today is certainly always
going to be one of the most memorable days of my life! Whether this little guy is a jock or not, he's definitely
going to be a mama's boy. And,
there's no doubt he's gonna be a handsome one...just look at his dad! Hank and I can't wait to get started decorating the nursery
and stocking his closet full of teeny tiny Eagles jerseys (and Chargers ones
too hahahaha). We can't wait to meet our son!!!! Christmas Day and dirty diapers can't come soon enough.]
Charlotte Bronte, Emily Dickinson and Kendra Wilkinson - great writers all. I can't wait for Kendra's book, that'll be a must READ. AHHHHH!!!!
[Photo Credit: Yep, there's a baby in there.]
Viagra ice cream will be sold in London - the racy sweet treat will hit the shelves this September. No word on if "The Sex Pistol" will be sold with a prescription and/or only to men. I hear Viagra does some interesting things to women as well - but that was via an episode of Sex & The City, so don't run out and get all jacked up on my word. It'll be interesting to see the correlation of the release of the ice cream to flights from the States. Ah, hell. I've got Ben & Jerry's and a blender. Cost effective. Watch the brief clip above - it's a pretty hilarious juxtaposition of Viagra coverage to their next story. A line of girls being handing numbers is the follow up news item. Sure, they're probably gymnists, but it looks pretty funny!
What better way to show your support publicly than via Twitter? Ashlee Simpson is stepping up for sister Jessica, in a very passive way. Here's the deal: [Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is supporting her newly single sister
Jessica on Twitter.
"Everyday you move me to be a better person. I love
you..miss u so much," Ashlee wrote Tuesday to Jessica, who has been in
Japan filming her new VH1 series, The Price of Beauty. "You are a perfect
friend and sis. Thank you."
"Les Miserables 'On My Own' -- can't sing this song
without u ever. But it's my fav!" added Ashlee. The Broadway tune includes
lyrics: "Pretending he's beside me / All alone, I walk with him till
morning."]
What's with Ashlee's double edged sword? I'm sure she means well, but there's always a little bit of unintended snark. The 'Hey, I'm thinking about you! Still walking alone!' is a bit of a knife in the heart. Maybe she's still feeling some passive-aggressive anger about playing second fiddle to Jessica all these years. Hope you're feeling better - and fuck you!
Are we shakin' off our Puritan roots, America? It seems like sex and nudity are the new go-to's as an accepted way to get press. I think it's due to the tone our sexy president has set for the nation - everyone's feeling loose as a goose. Jada Pinket and Will Smith have long been on the 'let's publicly discuss our sex life' train. Trend-jumpers Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are just joining them. More: [Last week Brad Pitt sent tongues wagging when he told Parade
that the secret stone grotto behind the waterfall in his pool is "a great
place for sex." Now, Angelina Jolie says that's not their only secret
hideaway. "Yeah, well, we got a few special places," she
told Extra on the red carpet at Pitt's Inglourious Basterds premiere Monday in
Hollywood. "You keep it going." Added Pitt, "It's not true. We have far more
comfortable places to go. There is a grotto there. It's an old Hollywood
property... just a few minutes that way... and rumor is Jimi Hendrix spent some
time there. That's the story. I run with it."]
Well, all right! It sounds sexy, but I'm not sure I believe. I'm gonna need to see some proof. I'm talking video. Don't worry - everyone's doing it. Click here for a gallery of a leather clad Jolie at Pitt's movie premiere. Stealing the show, per usual...
I hate to 'blow' the big finale for you! Channing Tatum, aka Chan Crawford (his stage alias), used to be an 18 year old stripper - and footage has conveniently been released on the heels of the strangely popular, G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra. The craptastic film has taken in a whopping $56.2 million at the box office so far. I had no idea people were so excited about that movie. The question I have is, why? At least the title of the blockbuster takes on new meaning now! Dare I say, the video of "Chan" is much better than the flick. At least this looks like it has a plot. Heh, heh. Click here for the super cheesy sexy strip down.
Sally Field, the voice of reason. You listen to her - you really, really listen to her! Sally recently took the opportunity to shut down the set of her show, Brothers & Sisters. Unlike Katherine Heigl, Field had a good reason. Check it: [Sally Field turned into a real-life Norma Rae - demanding
the set on her hit show Brothers & Sisters be shut down after a production
member came down with swine flu!
"Sally took control and personally
pulled the plug. She didn't even give the producers time to react," a set
insider told The ENQUIRER. "She was fiercely concerned about everyone,
especially her co-star Rachel Griffiths. Sally snapped at producers, 'Rachel's
got a newborn! There's no way in hell we're going back to work until this set
is declared 100 percent safe!'"
The ailing production member, who was not
identified, most likely contracted the virus from a child returning from summer
camp, according to those on the set. The hit ABC drama lost one day's
production on July 27 while medical investigators determined there was no
further risk, said the source.]
It's great to see a classy women taking the situation by the balls. What in the hell was everyone else thinking?
But just in case, you'll see it here too! Perhaps you've heard of that movie Heath Ledger was working on before his untimely passing? Well, here's the official trailer. As you know, Johnny Depp, Colin Farrell and dirty scoundrel Jude Law all have pieces of Ledger's role. The amazing trio stepped in to help director Terry Gilliam complete his project, and to also honor Heath's memory. Here's a nice reminder: Johnny, Colin and Jude have all contributed their salaries from the film to Heath's daughter, Matilda. Now that is sweet.
Ashley Greene is really cute. Ashley Greene is also about to receive a lot more attention. She's embroiled in a nude scandal, with a twist. There are, apparently, naked pictures of the actress floating around. In a refreshing move, though she's taken them, she's not gonna show 'em. Vanessa Hudgens, are you listening? Details: [Fresh faced TCA winner Ashley Greene pulls out the big legal
guns to shut distrib of naughty nude pix circulating on the net.
The morning
after winning the Teen Choice Awards, raunchy images of the naked Twilight
starlet, 22, began circulating in
cyberspace - the same day she was caught lip locking Gossip Girl hunk Chace Crawford in the back seat of a car at
LAX. The steamy pix which include a full frontal body shot was immediately
given a cease-and- desists salvo by Greene's rep: "The photos in
question, which appear to be of our client, are illegal and are being
unlawfully displayed. Our client intends to take legal action."]
How about if your client hadn't taken the nude photos at all? There's a start! There's nothing wrong with gettin' naked and posing to your hearts desire - but don't be surprised if they end up in the wrong hands. Especially if you're a celebrity. Sage, obvious advice. You're welcome. Of course, there's something even more obvious going on - the requisite blushing starlet with nude photos who's suddenly getting a ton of press. Only the public is getting ripped off - a media blitz, sans breasts. Not fair, Ashley! If you're gonna play the game, really play the game.
[Photo Credit: Show me your tits!]
Isn't that the question posed in nearly every situation regarding celebrities? Well, I'm afraid we won't be illuminated on her intentions immediately - but I'll be waiting with baited breath. As you know, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush broke up. Kim took the 'we were drifting apart due to schedules' old song and dance. Reggie took the silent 'I've been banging other girls silly behind Kim's back' approach. You know, whatever works. Well, word has leaked that the former couple might be reuniting. Given Kim's eagerness to 'set the record straight' with untruths, I'm a little unsure of the validity of this rumor. Details: [Are Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush attempting to reconcile? Sources over at The National Enquirer seem to think so. They spoke to some "close informants" to the coupe
who say to expect a reunion between Kim and her Bush very soon. An insider told
the rag-mag that Reggie has realized he "doesn't want to let her go"
and so is hoping she will take him back. "They are talking again and he is hopeful that she will
agree to give it another go."]
This could be in the works - or this could be Kim making sure people know she's still desirable. Who'd she'd have to pay to pull that off? Oh wait, she's part of Ryan Seacrest's crew. Never mind!
[Photo Credit: You know you want it.]
This is so crazy, I don't even know what to say. You must read this: [Well yesterday in federal court, Cameron Douglas' girlfriend
Kelly Scott was arrested. Why was Kelly arrested? Because she passed Cameron an
electric toothbrush. Oh, and inside the toothbrush were dime bags of heroin.
Yes, inside a federal f**king courtroom she tried to pass someone drugs.]
Really, she was just trying to get him some prison-style currency for what will surely be a long journey. And heroin is so great for teeth. I can't believe everyone's being so uptight about this situation. Geez.
[Photo Credit: Say goodbye.]
We seem to be in a declining spiral of civilization. If it's not the environment, then it's another crappy remake from Hollywood. Really, neck and neck on the level of societal concerns. Well, now things are getting really out of control. No, I'm not talking about the fact that if we don't change things, humans could be extinct in about sixty years. This is something much, much more serious. Tinseltown is getting set to recreate Red Dawn. That's not all - Tom Cruise's son will be taking a lead role. I don't think the world can afford this. Read on, courtesy of Crazy Days & Nights: [Right now it looks like there are three sets of parents
trying to make sure their child has the best Hollywood career. You have Bruce
& Demi who are trying their hardest to make sure Rumer gets as many roles
without having to do any work as possible. Then there are Will & Jada, who
when not having sex seem to be trying to cast Jaden in as many roles as
possible. They kind of have the advantage because they have been the producers
or stars of the movies in which he is cast. The latest entry into the 'let me put
my kid into a starring role in a feature film without any experience' is Tom
Cruise. Last year he got Will Smith to put Connor in Seven Pounds. This year
Tom wants Connor to hit the big time so he got him into the remake of Red Dawn
where he will play one of the lead roles. Yep. Not only are they going to
destroy Red Dawn by remaking a classic they are casting it with people whose
only acting experience is pretending they actually like seeing their mother
when she shows up once a year or trying to fool an auditor.]
Aren't the parents bad enough? Do we really have to suffer their children as well? Oh, the indignity. I think we might need to start a support group...
[Photo Credit: Make my son a star, now!]
For whatever reason, Josh Duhamel is married to Fergie. I'm not one to question - I'm sure they're very happy. One thing that's recently surfaced is the alleged difference between their timeline for having kids. Squeaky clean Josh wants babies asap. Party girl Fergie would like to keep, keepin' on 'til the break of dawn. I recommended in my last post about the couple that Fergie get pregnant, asap. Has Jennifer Aniston not served as a cautionary tale for the ladies? Well, it sounds like Fergie has thought things through and is singing a different tune. Smart girl! [Desperate to get her marriage to Josh Duhamel back on track,
Fergie has agreed to get pregnant - and she announced her change of heart in
the middle of a Los Angeles Dodgers baseball game! As The ENQUIRER previously reported, the Black Eyed Peas
thrush and her hunky thesp hubby were fighting just six months into their
marriage.
Josh, 36, was ready to start a family, while Fergie, 34, continued to party. But after some soul-searching, she agreed to chill and promised Josh they could start trying for a baby after her tour ends in the fall, say sources. "Fergie turned to Josh right in the middle of the baseball game and told him she wanted a baby to make their lives complete," revealed a close friend. "She says pregnancy will be a crash course in cleaning up her act." While Fergie had always planned to have kids, she wanted to put it off for a while. Josh is thrilled by her change of heart, said the friend. "He adores Fergie, and he can't wait for her to be pregnant."]
It's time to wake up, Fergs! Vodka can't buy you love. Give Josh what he needs - before he finds it somewhere else...
Will Ferrell's guest appearance on Man Vs. Wild drew huge ratings for the reality wildlife show. How to repeat the success? Get more celebrities to follow in Will's footsteps to star on the program, naturally!
[Will Ferrell was so brilliant on "Man Vs. Wild"
that the TV show's star, Bear Grylls, plans to take another celeb into the
jungle. In an upcoming interview on Fancast.com, the adventurer reveals that
Ben Stiller, a Ferrell pal, will appear on the Discovery Channel series this
year. On his wish list for next season: Demi Moore.]
Ben Stiller - yes. Demi Moore - no. Take a tumble and risk the famous face? I don't think so! On the upside, she'd be fine with not eating for a week so maybe it would work after all...
If you're a friend to the famous, it's best that you remain a friend and not drag them into the limelight on your behalf. Just a word of advice, from the voice of experience. That's why I trash Gwyneth Paltrow on this blog - it's really a ruse to throw the spotlight off our tight connection. New York nightclub impresario, Amy Sacco, is not as savvy. What can I say? Not everyone is me. That's such a Gwyneth thing to say! Now you know where I get it. Details: [Amy Sacco has a radically different business project in the
works, but unfortunately, we hear a few of her pals want nothing to do with it.
The nightlife impresario is filming test episodes for a Bravo reality show, but
a source says some famous faces like Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Liv Tyler,
Rachel Roy and Karolina Kurkova won't be making cameo appearances. "Amy is
having trouble securing all the high-profile names she promised producers
because some of her old friends don't want to be seen on camera doing reality
TV," the insider confides. "She's losing 'cool' points - and friends.
This is a really bad idea." Sacco's empire has taken some hits in the past
few years. Though she was once the queen of New York nightlife, most of her
clubs have closed, and the ones still kicking are barely relevant.]
Hmm, I would assume that most celebrities would prefer nightclubs to reality television. Something about being able to guzzle champagne in the VIP area versus being examined under a microscope on reality television. My close, personal friend who runs a GOOPy website would probably agree with me...
[Photo Credit: Amy Sacco, sans famous faces.]
Britney Spears brought her kids to hang out backstage during the recent Teen Choice Awards, because toddlers love gift bags. Really, what's wrong with getting a sitter? Anyways, while momma was cruising the goodie area, Sean Preston and Jayden James were doing what they apparently do best - swearing! Read on: [Britney Spears' tots have definitely hit the terrible twos
and threes, if their language is any indication. While the singer picked up goodies at a swag suite in L.A.
last week, Sean Preston, 3, and Jayden James, 2, shocked guests by repeatedly
yelling, "Oh sh-t!"
"We were all surprised by their potty mouths, but it was actually pretty funny," one onlooker acknowledged. How did Britney respond to her sons' antics? Said the source: "She was too busy picking out freebies to chastise the boys for misbehaving."]
Ah, well - fuck it. "Oh, shit" goes great with Cheetos and Frappuccinos. It's what they'll be saying when they look at the scale - if they take after daddy!
Dane Cook somehow makes his living as a comedian without being very funny - but his bit at the Teen Choice Awards has just won my heart. It turns out Dane's got some balls! You must watch the clip above - the look on Vanessa Hudgens face as Cook calls her out for her nude photos is hilarious!
Oh my god, it's Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! AHHHHHHHH. Yeah, watch this video on mute - there's no dialogue, just screaming. Brangelina attended the premiere of Inglourious Basterds in L.A. at the famed Grauman's Chinese Theater amidst much craziness. They did their best to make the rounds, but eventually made a break for cover. Angie needs a new stylist. She still looks boring, even when clad in leather in an attempt to reclaim her sexy. Click here for more photos of the couple, as well as Diane Kruger. Who told Diane that dress was a good idea? As for Brad and Angie, I guess we can shelve split rumors for one more day...
Jennifer Hudson gave birth to a baby boy Monday afternoon! I can't believe she's already had her baby - her pregnancy sure flew by for me. It seems like just yesterday that I was thinking, "Why is she engaged to that dude?" Next thing I knew she was pregnant. My, how the time does pass. Jennifer probably feels quite the opposite - minutes seem to crawl when you have a little person rolling around inside your stomach. I guess it seems weird to me that a celebrity could have a fairly private (read: nearly undocumented by the media) pregnancy in this day and age. Congrats to Jennifer and her hubby, professional wrestler David Ooooooortunga![Photo Credit: Jennifer with her Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Dreamgirls. That's right, Beyonce!]
I have big, big love for Chelsea Handler. She's the touchstone. If I ever think I've gone over the top, I think of Chelsea and know there's no way I've even touched the limits. On to Kevin Federline, because that's always a great transition. A lot of people have thought it, but no one has put it quite as perfectly as Ms. Handler. Details: [K-Fed has reportedly been approached by the company EP-2 to
endorse its weight-loss product. There's an offer out to him for $2.5 million
dollars. I'm starting to think K-Fed has us all fooled and is actually a
genius. He was a backup dancer and he managed to marry a rich crazy person he
could later leave and still get money from. Now he has the chance to get
millions simply from becoming a big fat-ass. That Jared guy from Subway had
better watch his back: There's a smarter, and fatter, sandwich lover on the
scene.]
I don't know if he's that smart, but he is that hungry! Heh, heh. I don't know how he's done it, but one thing he's brilliant at is good luck. How did this guy hit the jackpot? Forever a mystery...
[Photo Credit: Lookin' good, big boy.]
Here's a handy little clip from the Teen's Choice Awards, featuring some of today's hottest stars! I'm practicing my news anchor banter; gotta bone up in case Fox News ever decides to call me out. Anyways, Miley makes a very brief appearance - it looks like she stole one of the JoBros eyebrows. I think Miley and Nick showed their affection by mashing their eyebrows together - that way it keeps things pure, but they're still able to show that they're into each other. Unlike she and Justin Gaston - they showed their love by squishing other parts together. The ones usually surrounded by pubic hair, if ya catch my drift.
A none too savvy reporter attempts to badger LeAnn Rimes about her personal life in the midst of the singer trying to talk about living with psoriasis. Sexy? Oh, yes! And hey, guess what? LeAnn doesn't reveal a thing. I hope Eddie Cibrian was tuned into the broadcast. Maybe 'psoriasis' is their code word for 'meet me at the hotel for a quickie.'
Thanks to Evil Beet for uncovering this footage of Mischa Barton pre-breakdown. As Sasha points out, Mischa doesn't necessarily seem high in the video above - but something definitely feels off. Beet and her cadre of fabulous writers have delved deeper into the unraveling of Mischa. Needless to say, all is not well. More:
[Friends of the actress fear that she's returned to work too
soon after leaving the hospital and speculate that she's on the verge of
another, possibly more serious, breakdown. According to one friend, Mischa is
"just not herself," and another reports that she often "cries for no reason." Barton
returned to the set of her new TV series The Beautiful Life a mere two days
after being released from the hospital. She was involuntarily admitted after
friends reported concerns that she was contemplating suicide.]
Ashton Kutcher, the executive producer of Mischa's show, was recently claiming that the actress is fine and that she'd be okay to return to work. Well Ashton, in addition to being an asshole, is now apparently a doctor. Good to know. It's great that everyone has her best interests at heart. Heading straight to work was a really brilliant plan. Has anyone at The Beautiful Life heard of Britney Spears Lindsay Lohan?
Katherine Heigl can't keep her trap shut! It's a wonder she's still employed, at this point. As you may remember, Heigl's recent verbal faux pas featured trying to shame the producers of Grey's Anatomy for making her work a seventeen hour day. It was later revealed that the extended hours were due to her promotional schedule for The (completely awful) Ugly Truth. Needless to say, those who have made allowances to accommodate the two-faced actress are less than thrilled. Details: [ABC's head of entertainment, Steve McPherson, was not
amused. He even called Katherine's bitching "unfortunate"! Said
McPherson: "People are going to behave in the way they choose to
behave. There are so many people who work so hard on 'Grey's,' and all of our
shows, without any notoriety and those are the ones I'd be concerned about,
people who feel like they're being criticized or looked down upon."]
Who's going to want to work with her? When you've pissed off the nice-guy contingent in Hollywood (i.e. Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow) and you routinely shit on the television show that gave you your start - well, it doesn't seem like career longevity is in your plan. What's even more odd? She never issues apologies, only insults. Interesting strategy, Heigl. I, for one, am completely flummoxed.
[Fake Book Cover by Jake Kilroy. A classic piece in his extensive collection of excellence!]
And damn - it's not true! Ah, just kidding. A rumor went wildfire online yesterday that the Mindfreak magician had perished, but it was exactly that - a rumor. The man himself Tweeted that all was well. In typical Criss fashion, his Twitter account is a douche-like as his cultivated persona - while 14,139 people follow him, he deigns to check in with 2. Yesterday it was a cult of one, so I'm not sure what number two did to get so lucky. I have a pretty good idea why the first girl made the list - I believe it's the same lucky lady he was recently vacationing with in Mexico. One mystery solved pre-coffee...
Kids are very intuitive. Sometime they're not given enough credit because they're not adults (obviously) - but look at the people we give credibility to on a daily basis! Take little Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, for instance. She knows she's a pawn in a loveless partnership - and she's aware that mommy is fuckin' up daddy's program. Check it: [Unfortunately, the kids are caught up in the family
meltdown. Little Shiloh has been throwing tantrums whenever Brad leaves the
house, and she yells at Angie and Brad when they fight, the insider adds.
"During a recent blowup, Shi ordered Angie, 'Stop yelling at Daddy!'" Shiloh
even threw one of her dolls at Angie after a particularly fierce fight with
Brad. Maddox, meanwhile, is a mama's boy and very protective of Angie, another
source reveals. "Every time Angie and Brad fight, Maddox runs to her defense."]
Does it feel like you read a similar story recently? You did! It's the eternal Brangelina tabloid shuffle. But you know, I'd believe Shiloh might not be a fan of her mom. Somewhere in her precious mind she knows Angelina called her blob. You don't get over that...
In the meantime, read Chelsea Handler's hilarious take on the Jolie-Pitt's relationship:
[Brad Pitt is getting a lot of heat in magazines for too much
"partying" at the Berlin premiere of his new movie. Angelina Jolie is supposedly upset about his recent drinking
binge, too. I'd like to go on the
record and say that I don't think Brad Pitt parties enough. He has 14 kids, half of which aren't
even his, and his wife's idea of a good time is taking a nice long walk on the
sand in Iraq. Just reading about
those two makes me want to drink.]
Chelsea Handler - setting the bar high, but not so high that you can't get drunk. I love that girl.
[Photo Credit: Great pals, these two.]
Posh Spice has developed something new - sympathy. The "singer" may have bombed an Idol audition of her own - all before barely setting her foot in the door. Victoria Beckham is one of the many names that have been thrown in the hat to possibly replace Paula Abdul. She showed up yesterday in Denver for the famed tryouts - and it went less than swimmingly. Details: [Posh's first day at American Idol wasn't Beckham's best!
Victoria flew into Denver for the first round of Idol auditions on Friday, and
according to inside sources, the former Spice Girl didn't bring her A game to
the table. "It didn't go too well," says a production insider.
"She tried too hard to be 'nice,' but came off as icy and wooden."
Contestants were also said to be "deeply" disappointed when they
showed up to the Paula-free audition!]
That is so awesome - Beckham's attempt to "be nice" came off "icy and wooden." Wouldn't that "attempt" simply be called "being herself"?
[Photo Credit: You look pretty, Posh. You should try that more often!]
OMG - gag me. Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt have reunited and, of course, everything is perfect in Lover Land. Disgusting details: [Doug Reinhardt is proving his love to Paris Hilton by
whisking her away on a romantic getaway. He's rented a private island in Fiji
for the two of them, where they are currently spending their time deep-sea
diving, Jet Skiing and even sky diving. Sources close to Doug say he has stopped at nothing to win
back Paris...
"He has been so generous and sweet, and has really impressed her with his romantic ways," a source close to Paris tells E! News. Insiders close to the couple say Paris is really happy: "She loves being treated like a princess...She can feel how deeply in love he is with her, and she's having a blast." Sounds like it. Paris twittered earlier today: "What a fantastic day! Found so many beautiful shells on the beach and the ocean was so clear and warm! I am having the time of my life!" The only trouble in paradise? Her sister, Nicky, doesn't get along with Doug. "That bothers her a lot since the sisters are so close," the source says. "But for now, she's having the time of her life."]
He rented a private island in Fiji? With what - douche dollars? Or did he filch one of Hilton's many credit cards last time they were together? I'm sure she can feel how deeply he loves her - in his pants. Do these two really believe the bullshit they spew? I still propose that no one else was sniffing around Cavern de Paris, so she did the next easiest thing and backslid. We'll see how long it lasts this time around...
[Photo Credit: Remember how lovely everything was last time they went island hopping? It was like so totally perfect.]
Lindsay Lohan recently released an interesting photo op - one she supposedly created herself. From Evil Beet: [Lilo doing an "homage" photo shoot in her Calvins. By
"homage" I mean that this isn't for an advertisement, or a promotion, or a
magazine article, or for anything in particular. She was just bored.]
Apparently there's some discrepancy as to the validity of the picture (whether she created it herself or if she actually sat for Calvin Klein at some point) - but a topless Lindsay trying to look sexy (and failing) is always entertaining!
[UPDATE: It is an old photo - not recent, but still fun! Click here for the shoot from 2006 with Meryl Streep.]
[Photo Credit: Too much mishmash for me. Did Courtney Love dress her?]
Ali Larter is a favorite of mine. How could you not love a girl who once sported a whip cream bikini? The beauty recently wed fellow actor Hayes MacArthur in Maine. In celebration, I'm running her nude ad for fake perfume from back in the day. (Thanks to Seriously? OMG! WTF? for unearthing this awesome footage.) Congrats to the happy couple - and congrats to Ali for having the same body today she did when she was eighteen!
Derek Hough (Dancing With The Stars) and American Pie's Shannon Elizabeth have broken up. Oh my, say it isn't so! How did the couple release this devastating news? Via Twitter, of course. Thank god they updated us - I was really wondering how they'd been doing. Such a high-profile match - it's amazing they were able to keep their split under wraps. Details: [Dancing with the Stars dancer Derek Hough and his girlfriend
Shannon Elizabeth have ended their one year relationship. How did they announce it to the
world? Twitter, of course! Hough
tweeted, "Hi everyone, we wanted you all to know directly from us, that Shannon
& I have decided to end our
relationship as boyfriend and girlfriend." Shannon wrote, "However, we love & care about each other
very much & will remain friends & in each others lives."]
Snooze. Jesus, I'd forgotten those two were even together. Nice of them to take their adoring public into account by Tweeting about the status of their relationship. So thoughtful. It's good to know they have the presence of mind to Twitter in the middle of their breakup. As far as the old 'We'll always be friends' line? Bullshit. I'd like to pull a quote from Sex & The City, "You've been inside me. You need to not exist now."
[Photo Credit: The gloriously mismatched couple in their heyday.]
And I'm not talking about the video. Paris Hilton's former faux BFF, Brittany Flickinger, is taking the opportunity to bash the heiress at every turn - not that I blame her! Brittany claims the relationship between Paris and Doug (Douche) Reinhardt is a publicity stunt. The girl is brilliant - there's no denying it. More pearls of wisdom? Oh, yes! [Brittany Flickinger made headlines after she won, yes won,
the chance to be Paris Hilton's BFF last year. Not surprisingly the friends had
a fallout and now Brittany is on a rampage trashing her former friend.
"We don't talk anymore," Brittany told Hollyscoop at the 5th Annual HollyShorts Film Festival Thursday night. "I thought it was hilarious to begin with," Brittany told Hollyscoop. "I'm not sure how I feel about her getting back together with him. He's that guy! Before they were together he said liked her for two year, but I don't believe that...It's a publicity stunt," she added.
Brittany became a semi celebrity overnight after being photographed on Paris' arm for a few weeks. But although their friendship was short lived, Brittany insists it was "just like hanging out with a regular friend but because it was in the public eye."
Now that she's had her 15 minutes of fame, she's able to distinguish the difference between good and bad celebrities. When asked which celebrity she loved she said Fergie, but when asked which celebrity she detests she said, "I don't want to give her the satisfaction of mentioning her," she laughed before adding, "Don't you already know? Paris!" Ouch!]
Sounds like a match made in heaven - at least as far as what Paris deserves, on all fronts.
[Photo Credit: Paris with season one of the BFF show. Brittany is in the black dress, top left.]
Lindsay Lohan was difficult to work with - and someone's finally willing to speak out about it! Lindsay's famous Elle shoot was rife with trouble - including allegations of stolen jewels and a questioning by Scotland Yard. Well it turns out that's not all! Read on: [There was a lot of controversy surrounding her Elle photo
shoot, but Lindsay Lohan was freed of any speculation that she stole the
missing jewelry from the set. Now, we're hearing from the Editor of the magazine, just how
much of a pain in the butt Lindsay was to work with. She apparently is so
disorganized and focused on other stuff, despite being the "hardest working
person in the industry."
The Editor reportedly had to chase Lindsay around just to get her to sit own long enough for an interview, along with the photo shoot. In the new issue, Editor Lorraine Candy said, "Lindsay Lohan wrote me a note during this month's cover shoot. It read: 'Let's do it again some time.' I've put it on my office wall because, in all honesty, I don't know if I could. This was the most unpredictable, and confusing shoot in my magazine career. First, Lindsay was about to arrive. Then she was in Paris. She was almost on set, then she disappeared into her hotel room. She was ready for her interview, then she had to have a fake tan! But we got there."]
How has she even made it this far in her career? How does she keep securing the miniscule amount of jobs that come her way? Thanks Lorraine for finally getting honest - I never would have guessed. Ha.
[Photo Credit: Lindsay for Elle Magazine.]
Wow, she's not even trying to hide her motives! Vanessa Hudgens releases nude photos, Vanessa hits the red carpet the next day. Band Slam looks like an absolutely craptastic film, so I guess the new protocol is to cover junk with sexy time. I wouldn't even be surprised to learn that studio execs gave her the okay - everyone is desperate for those elusive millions... Click here for the Band Slam trailer, if you think you can take it!
Well, I never thought I'd see the day! Vanity Fair mocking Gwyneth Paltrow? Ah, sometimes life is soooo sweet. Read on: [What's particularly funny about this spoof is that I'm
pretty sure Craig Brown has taken bits and pieces from real Goop newsletters
and made her sound completely incoherent and pretentious - so, basically, it's
sort of honoring the spirit of Goop:
Go-I love film. After a yummy meal for the whole family and
some truly great friends, we often go out to see something beautiful and
unique.
-Here's a tip for all moms. Never ask young children to pay when you go
out to the movie theater. It is simply unfair to ask a four-year-old to pay for
herself.
-Why not give her the trip as a very special present? That way,
you--and she--can learn so much more about what it is to love and to give.
Repayment can come later.
-Next week, we learn to ride a bicycle with a
world-expert bicycle nutritionist.
Do
-Many of you have asked if I have any tips on how to get
leggings on quicker. My in-house leggings guru advises rubbing onto your legs a
paste made from five spoonfuls of extra-virgin olive oil, turbinado sugar, and
coarsely ground fair-trade coffee. If you have any further problems, then next
week I'll be recommending a truly great creative-leggings clinic.
See
-What is it about books that make them so truly great to
read? I think it's the way the words are printed on every page, the right way
up and in just the right order.
-This means you can start reading on the first
page and then continue reading through the middle pages all the way to the last
page.
-Here are some of my absolute favorite books. War, by Leo Tolstoy. A
great read. Bonus: You can get it as part of a two-volume edition which
includes Peace by the same great author.
-Shakespeare, by Shakespeare. He has
so many great lines. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" "Frankly, my
dear, I don't give a damn." "I am the Walrus." "My heart will go on." They're
part of the language.
-Next week, we learn to peel a banana with a world-expert
fruit psychologist.]
Click here to read the list in it's entirety - it's hilarious! Kudos to the stalwart mag for bringing some much needed levity to the intolerable "Gwyneth situation."
Gerard Butler is feeling conflicted about what kind of woman he wants in his life. I, however, I'm feeling no confusion at all. Gerard is hot and I desire him. It's very clear cut. Here's my plan to nab my man: fluff my hair into a faux eighties 'do, cling desperately and hide my college degrees. I think this could really work! [Actor Gerard Butler is currently filming Bounty with his
beautiful co-star Jennifer Aniston.
The two have been romantically linked by news sources and gossip blogs
across the globe-a common assumption when actors work closely together for
months on end. Gerard even took it a step further on Conan O'Brien when he
joked that he was going to wed Aniston. When asked what he is looking for when
it comes to women, Gerard had this to say, "Sometimes in my life I don't want a
smart woman. Right now I
want a dumb woman. But then you
think, that doesn't work, so it's just killing me now."]
Anything you want, baby. Just say the word...
[Photo Credit: What a lovely couple we will make.]
Who needs friends when you've got a pal like Ken Paves? Jessica Simpson was out on the town last night to celebrate her longtime hairdresser/friend's birthday. That's all well and good - unfortunately the duo decided to get trashed and were promptly caught up in a swarm of paparazzi. That's not so good! Jessica Simpson should really consider staying home until she feels better. More: [Ken has clearly swooped in to save the day since Jessica has
become single again, and is playing the part of the fun gay friend who makes
you forget you just got dumped. The dynamic duo hit the town last night in
celebration of Ken's birthday and went to Beso, which last time we checked, was
a restaurant, not a night club! But Jess must have been hitting the bottle hard
last night, because she needed a little help walking out when she and Ken
decided to call it a night. The paparazzi swarmed Jess, who looked a little
worse for wear as she stumbled into their waiting car.]
I'd say Jess is currently living every girl's nightmare. I'm really feeling kinda bad for her. Click here for photos of Simpson's revelry last night - she's truly looking shitfaced. What's worse? She's going to wake up with a wicked hangover and Tony Romo is still going to be hating her. Not even tequila can make that man's no class nasty behavior go away.
[Photo Credit: Jessica in happier days.]
The world's most famous non-mother has been given a parenting award. That's right - Jennifer Aniston has been presented with an "Outstanding Media Award" by iParenting. Why not just tie her to a post and beat her? Better yet, use flashcards of Brangelina's kids and see if she can name them all. Details: [Jennifer Aniston isn't a parent, but she's winning an award
for being one. We know what you're thinking, huh?! Jen recently narrated a
children's book, Loukoumi's Good Deeds, with her father John Aniston,
iParenting was so impressed by her they gave her a Media Award in the 2009
"Outstanding" category. The children's book is based on a true story about a
cleaning lady named Daisy who worked in the same office as author Nick
Katsoris. Daisy, voiced by Aniston, gives Nick a pair of gold cuff links
because he says "good morning" to her every day, reports Us Weekly. She may not have much experience in the parenting
department, but during a recent poll conducted by AOL-sponsored ParentDish.com,
most moms agreed that they would rather have Jen babysit their kids than
Angelina Jolie.]
I do appreciate the irony that most mothers would rather leave their children with Jennifer - despite the fact that Angelina is a mother of six. I guess they don't want their husbands stolen either! Jen, curl up with Norman (Aniston's dog) and make your self a martini - you deserve it!
[Photo Credit: Leave me your children. I'll give them back, I promise.]
Wow. Do these girls have parents? And, if so, where are they? What in the hell is going on here? This is Miley's little sister, Noah Cyrus, and some of her prepubescent friends (aka: Disney stars) hanging out on a stripper pole for the "Totally Texty Teen Choice Awards Pre-Party." The last time we saw Noah, she was wearing a bikini to a red carpet event. This seems to be the next logical step in her career. [Photo Credit: Remember when The Little Mermaid was the raciest thing about Disney?]
The trailer speaks for itself, but I'll state the obvious - this looks really amazing. I love Spike Jonze and his work - I'm glad Catherine Keener is his muse. I'm so looking forward to seeing this film!
![Photo Credit]](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:AngelinaJolieBradPittAAFeb09.jpg){kind=link}
Ashley Olson recently sat down with Marie Claire and gave a pretty decent interview in which she claims she's amazed she didn't end up like peer Britney Spears. Notice how there's no mention of what twin sister Mary-Kate has been up to! Details: [The actress, who graces the cover of Marie Claire's
September issue, admits of the pressures of her childhood stardom: "I look at
Britney, and I'm surprised I didn't end up like her."
Although she is, in fact, far more put together than the
troubled pop star, Olsen did get pretty racy for the photo shoot - in one shot,
she rocks nothing but a bra and panties. Between poses at her Greenwich Village
townhouse, Ashley spoke about how far she's come since her days as baby
Michelle Tanner on "Full House" - days she doesn't always remember fondly.
"Growing up, it was almost like I was in the Army," she
laments. "School, work, homework, fly to New York, get in at 2 in the morning,
do a morning show at 5 a.m., then another one at 7, then a radio interview at
10."]
I know a lot of people don't feel sorry for her. It's difficult to feel compassion for someone who became financially solvent (well into the millions) by being shoved down our collective throats. That said, Ashley does seem relatively "normal" given her extraordinary circumstances. As for Mary-Kate? Well, I'd venture to guess she shares more than a few of Britney's (hopefully former) propensities!
[Photo Credit: Ashley for Marie Claire.]
The news clip is pretty self-explanatory but I'll say it regardless: Posh Spice might land a permanent spot amongst the American Idol luminary! I know it wouldn't take too long for someone to swoop into Paula's spot. I can tell you, if it was truly Abdul's idea to walk away from her contract, that she is a fool. Remember Regis & Kathie Lee? Kathie Lee Giffords assumed that she couldn't be replaced and then Kelly Ripa was in her seat practically the next day. I don't watch any of that crap, but it sure does create a lot of drama. Anyways, word is that Posh will sit in as judge on a few AI sessions and it might turn into a full-time gig. That would be perfect - she knows so much about lip-synching singing!
Do you think there's a chance I could date Jon Gosselin? I don't know if I'm trashy enough, but I could try! Apparently Jon's been sticking it everywhere he can and this week is no different. It's currently come to light that Jon recently pulled a "Jude Law" by sleeping with his kid's nanny. Actually Jon and Jude have a lot in common - both are aging douchebags with receding hairlines who like 'em young. Perhaps Gosselin should reach out to Law - it would certainly be a step up from current bestie, Michael Lohan. Dirty deeds: [Jon hired a babysitter, Stephanie Santoro, for his children,
so that he could party it up with Hailey Glassman/Kate Major. Well, sneaky old
Jonny boy was banging the babysitter, too!
She's not just any ordinary babysitter, either. She's also a cocktail waitress at Jon's favorite dive in Pennsylvania, Legends. What a co-inky-dink! Jon was spotted emerging from the babysitter's quarters, then shortly thereafter, she emerged wearing the outfit she came home in, the night before.]
Dang! Jon was definitely not getting laid in the holy union that was his marriage. He sure seems ready to make up for lost time! Remember when he was just a sweet father in a polo shirt? Oh, how things have changed...
[Photo Credit: Jon sneaking out after allegedly doing the babysitter. This guy is 100% class!]
Perpetual lonely girl Jennifer Aniston has suffered one indignity after another since her divorce from Brad Pitt. Guess what, Jen? It's not gonna end! A high-profile movie the former couple previously owned via their shared production company is about to hit the big screen - a move that will most likely remind Aniston of yet another raft of regrets. Interesting tidbit from Celebitchy: [Just a little side note - Brad Pitt is the producer on the
upcoming winter release The Time Traveler's Wife. He and then-wife Jennifer
Aniston bought the rights before their split, and Brad got the property in he
divorce. Recently, the screenwriter Bruce Joel Rubin was lamenting the fact
that Jennifer and Brad would have been "perfect" to play the time traveler and
his wife, who are now being played by Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams. Rubin told
OK!, "I just saw them as a perfect version of Henry and Clare. I just found
them equally attractive and equally compelling and in terms of the Hollywood
arena at that time, they were as good a couple as you could find. I was writing
it in my mind for them." I don't know... I kind of like that Brad hired his Troy
buddy Eric Bana for the role. Eric needs more work - he's an incredible actor,
and shouldn't be anyone's second choice.]
I think the casting of Bana and McAdams is pretty brilliant. I believe the cat is out of the bag: Jennifer's acting skills aren't exactly on par with Brad's. There, I said it. Jen's perfect for romantic comedies, but drama ain't her bag. That's why I'm very concerned that she plans to play a prisoner in her next film role. Where will she reach for inspiration? Unless she can still muster up the anger to bitch-slap Angelina, I can't imagine her being too menacing. However, she also plans on producing the flick, Goree Girls, herself - so suck on that Brad. You'll never one up Jen! Oh, wait...
[Photo Credit: Elle Magazine Photo shoot.]
Life is a little less sparkly when there's a dearth of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt "Are they breaking up?" news - lucky for me there's rarely a dark day. This week's tireless efforts to keep the Rainbow Brood and their folks front and center is brought to us by Star Magazine: [Five years after hooking up in a passionate affair that
rocked Hollywood, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are spending so much time apart
that insiders fear their once-sizzling relationship is irreparably broken. In the Aug. 17 issue of Star we report that while Angelina
was in Los Angeles late last month caring for their six children, Brad was
drinking and flirting like a bachelor -- with a former flame! -- at the
Inglourious Basterds premiere in Berlin. Adding insult to injury, Angelina --
who's been stressed out about the steady decay of their relationship -- planned
to join Brad in Germany for the A-list event, but he disinvited her at the last
minute.
"Two days before the trip, Brad told her he thought it was best if she didn't come," a source tells Star. "They've been fighting a lot, but this really ripped her heart out." And Brad's bad-boy behavior at the July 28 Basterds after party didn't help their already troubled situation -- at all.
"Angie lost it because Brad started drinking at a photo
call hours before the premiere and kept going until 4 a.m.!" says a
source. "She tried calling him a few times, and he didn't pick up -- so she
kept trying until he finally answered. She was nagging him so much that Brad
finally shut his phone off." Brad continued to party with brunette German
director -- and one-time gal pal -- Katja von Garnier!
The littlest victims of the couple's downward spiral are
their children: Maddox, 7, Pax, 5, Zahara, 4, Shiloh, 3, and nearly
13-month-old twins Knox and Vivienne. "The kids have been feeling the
tension," says a source.]
Ah, those evil feuding adults making their little victims suffer. Once again - these are both attractive, successful people with everything going for them. If life was 24/7 misery, I think they'd be smart enough to change it. I do have an idea for Brad, when he finally decides to escape the supposed hell that is his reality - reunite with Juliette Lewis! She claims they used to sit around and smoke loads of pot. Sounds like a blast, dude. The halcyon days of easy street - no responsibilities and tons of bud. He needs to mellow out with a rocker chick - you know, when this whole mess is finally over. Which will be never...
Katherine Heigl has landed another romantic flick - this time around she'll also act as executive producer. Well played, Katherine! That's one way to ensure you nab the starring role with the most screen time. Who's her possible victim costar for this latest venture? None other than Fergie's delicious husband, Josh Duhamel. Details: [Josh Duhamel is currently in talks to take a role in the
next Katherine Heigl flick, Life as We Know It. The story follows "two
unattached adults whose worlds are turned upside down when their mutual best
friends die in an accident and name them as caregivers of their orphaned
daughter."]
My guess is that her movie presence will continue to decline. Every film she's been in since Knocked Up has been consistently less popular. The Ugly Truth was simply awful. Life As We Know It doesn't stand a chance. Fergie, grab your man and save him from disaster! You owe it to him. It'll only benefit yourself - you don't want any of that bitchiness to rub off on the hubs.
[Photo Credit: If only her mouth were as smart as her body.]
It's been said that cockroaches will one day rule the earth. They're fast and resilient to just about any disgusting thing you can throw in their path. Pampered society girls? Well, the zombies will get them first - though it won't be much of a meal. Given the way she rolls, I'm sure Gwyneth Paltrow will still be acting like a self entitled bitch, no matter what comes her way. Here's an example of her lovely behavior at a recent charity event. Deets, via The Smoking Nun: [For that reason, it was astonishing to hear the disgruntled
comments from the press on the elevator, as we were hurried back to the lobby,
that Miss Gwyneth was overheard telling her publicist, "I'm done. Get the
roaches out of here," referring to those very photographers that deliver
her pictures to the wire services, newspapers and weekly celebrity magazines,
helping her maintain any semblance of relevance. Considering that her last
semi-hit film was "Running With Scissors" in 2006--while she is in
post-production for action adventure "Iron Man II," starring Robert
Downey Jr., not due until May 2010--you'd think she might maintain the slightest
humility.]
You'd think she'd keep that little thought to herself - but I fear she might be incapable. She's operating under the assumption that everyone's dying to know what she thinks - even the regular folks. We're just lucky to have her in our midst. Thanks to Agent Bedhead for reminding me of Paltrow's penchant to call normal people "pedestrian." You're awesome Gwyneth, you really are...
[Photo Credit: Gwennie & the roaches. Sounds like a great band name.]
Why does Vanessa Hudgens keep taking - and posting - nude photos of herself? Not that anyone's complaining. She's legal and she has a great body - but I'm still curious about her motives. If her career goals were stripper and/or porn star, then this would be an excellent start. I actually find her a lot less annoying in the buff, for some reason. However, by all accounts, she wants to be a "serious" actress. Of course, she was recently quoted as saying that she would go nude on film - if the right part required it. So perhaps this is practice for her award winning turn as "Naked Girl #6" for that very special flick. And where is Zac Efron in all of this? I need answers! Click here for a NSFW gallery of Vanessa's attention-grabbing self portraits. 
Hmm... I knew there had to be some kind of drama Paula was waiting to unleash. Something wasn't quite adding up. It turns out Abdul was offered a contract with American Idol (that allegedly included a 30% raise), but she backed out at the last minute. On the one hand, a 30% raise is very generous. She's already earning millions and assuredly living comfortably. On the other hand, the men's salaries on AI all far exceed Paula's take. Hey, she's the one going to all the effort of getting drunk before the broadcast in order to provide much needed entertainment. Liquor and pills aren't free, people! Here are some details courtesy of Wendie's amazing detective skills over at Evil Beet: [Bonnie Fuller -- she's the exec who has worked at such
publications as Us Weekly, Star, YM, Cosmo, and Marie Claire -- Tweeted last
night about Paula's non-return to American Idol. According to Fuller, and she helmed Star so we have to take
this with a grain of salt, Paula did ink a contract with AI and Abdul's Twitter
boo-hooing (Twhining?) is all a publicity stunt.]
Here's a photograph of Bonnie's Twitter page, also courtesy of Wendie at Evil Beet:
I'm sure the truth will be revealed soon. In the meantime, let's whip up another pitcher of margaritas and raise a toast to Paula Abdul and her best friend, Crazy.
[Photo Credit: Vintage Paula, vintage eyebrows.]
A naked statue of Angelina Jolie breastfeeding? Tell me more! [Apparently the good folks over in Oklahoma City are
constructing a life sized statue of the actress. It doesn't stop there, either.
She'll be portrayed nude -- and breastfeeding. The artist, Daniel Edwards, created the piece. It's a bronze
likeness titled, "Landmark for Breastfeeding." The piece was inspired by a photograph taken of her by Brad
Pitt for "W" magazine. She was breastfeeding the couple's twins, Knox and
Vivienne. The naked sculpture will feature Angie breastfeeding two babies, one
of which being African American.]
I don't know if it's possible to mention the word "breastfeeding" more in one paragraph, but I definitely have a certain image stuck in my head now. Who knew the folks in Oklahoma City were such defenders of the breastfeeding movement? It's certainly an interesting homage, if this is true. Will you be booking your ticket to Oklahoma City in order to rub Angie's bronzed breasts? That would make for an interesting Spring Break...
The life-size Barbie schtick Paris Hilton has going is beyond tired. It's never been cute, but it's definitely careening towards 'totally ridiculous' at a rapid pace. Not that I ever assumed she had any concept of reality, but her dog house totally puts the out-of-control situation over the top. Details about the dog house - the one Doug Reinhardt doesn't live in - are in:
[Paris Hilton had a 300 sq. ft, $325,000 dog house built for
her pups Tinkerbell, Marilyn Monroe, Prince Baby Bear, Harajuku, Dolce and
Prada. The pooch mansion sits behind her Beverly Hills home and is
furnished with faux designer doggie products from Jimmy Chew, Pawda, Sniffany
& Co. and Chewy Vuitton.
"It's a miniature version of my house," said the heiress to
Life & Style. "I designed it with the help of my interior decorator, Faye
Resnick. I wanted it to be fun, cute, comfortable and beautiful. My friends
just love it and think it's so adorable and cool."
The two floor dog house has a clay-tile roof with copper
gutters, intricate ceiling molding and a crystal chandelier hanging in the
bedroom complete with central air. The dogs even have a closet and a downstairs
living room!
"They love lying on the balcony, playing in their backyard
and hanging out on their living room furniture. They appreciate the house that
Mommy built for them," she continued. "The dogs love to dress up. My
friends say they have a better wardrobe than most people."]
Good to know she treats her dogs better than people. I wouldn't have expected anything less. When will she grow up - or is she even capable of such a feat?
[Photo Credit: Life & Style]
Fuckin'-A. Even in death, Kurt Cobain can't catch a break. His hometown of Aberdeen, Washington is planning to erect a public memorial to the much-missed singer featuring some of his brilliant words. However the mayor may have the word "fuck" removed, due to some controversy. I'm sure Kurt would abhor the posthumous censorship. Have you ever been to Aberdeen? God, it's a shithole. It's amazing Kurt made it as far as Olympia, much less conquering the world. The city should be grateful for the miniscule amount of publicity Cobain still brings their way and let him say whatever the fuck he wants.
Hopefuls lined up for their shot at stardom - or at least the opportunity to sip on a Cosmopolitan against the backdrop of greatness. Yesterday was the open casting call for extras to "star" in the upcoming Sex & The City sequel. Thanks to my errant agent I was nowhere near New York City yesterday. Thanks a lot, asshole. How does ten percent of nothing sound to you? Anyways, it's a shame we didn't all fly out there - it looks like it was a pretty motley crew. Fierce competition? Not. However it takes a lot of moxie to stand in line for hours in heels, shaking with nerves - so kudos to everyone who braved the insanity. This intrepid reporter also reveals Katie Holmes might have a cameo. I knew that bitch would try to steal Victoria Beckham's thunder! Another catfight, coming up...
Ah, technicalities and motherly love. Do you remember when Bam Margera (of Jackass fame) went to a crazy party of one and ended up in the hospital? Well, now he's desperately trying to save his marriage. No surprise that his relationship might be on the rocks! But his mom has a really interesting take on the whole thing, which makes me wonder if a little thing called "enabling" might run in the family. Details, via Bitten & Bound: [Bam Margera is reportedly going to great lengths in order to
salvage his marriage to Missy Rothstein Margera. The daredevil wed his bride in February 2007 and things have
been rocky ever since. Bam recently told TMZ that Missy says he is a Jekyll and
Hyde, with a split personality. So
what are they doing to work this out? They are seeking marriage counseling twice a week and Bam is now taking
the antidepressant Lexapro to aid in controlling his mood swings. Paramedics were dispatched to Margera's Manchester,
Pennsylvania home recently, fueling rumors that Bam had suffered a drug
overdose. His mother has gone on
the record to say that he was just "dehydrated" after a four day drinking
binge.]
Momma needs to spend a little time with something called a "reality check." He was "just dehydrated" the same way Paris Hilton has "just kissed" a few boys. Understatement! Sounds like Bam has more than his share of troubles right now. Here's to hoping he get the helps he needs. His wife is a very understanding woman - I hope he appreciates her.
I don't follow American Idol, but even I know this is a big deal! Paula Abdul, the alleged pill-poppin' fiend, has essentially been fired from the popular show. Drama? Hell, yes! [The entertainment world was stunned Tuesday night when news
broke that Paula Abdul will not be returning to American Idol this coming
season. The judge was unable to come to financial terms with the
show's producers about her return. Abdul just took to her official Twitter to talk about her
departure from the #1 show in America. She says:
With sadness in my heart, I've decided not to return to
#IDOL. I'll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all..Cont'd...
I'll miss nurturing all the new talent,but most of all being
a part of a show that I helped from day1become an international phenomenon.
What I want to say most, is how much I appreciate the
undying support and enormous love that you have showered upon me
It truly has been breathtaking, especially over the past
month
I do without any doubt have the BEST fans in the entire
world and I love you all.]
I know a lot of people are shocked at the turn of events. Rumor has it the powers that be were most likely sick of her antics - but that was reportedly half the draw! Will producers rethink the dicey decision if ratings take a dip? Money always talks. Meanwhile, what will Paula do with all that free time? Never one to be left out of the fray, Ryan Seacrest has Tweeted that his Blackberry was "blowin' up." He claims he's devastated at the news. Hey, with that $45 million payday he secured from AI, perhaps he could share a little with Paula...
Nikki Reed must be over the moon - she's hooked up with a billionaire and it sounds like love! The only problem? The rich kid trust funder used to be engaged to Paris Hilton. All together now... ewww! Juicy details, courtesy of Crazy Days & Nights: [Checking in with Nikki was Paris Latsis. You might remember
Paris. He is the billionaire who used to have sex with Paris Hilton. Well now
he is with Nikki Reed and even though he wasn't actually on the flight to
Vancouver it appears he bought a ticket for the flight just so he could go
through security with her and stay with her until the flight left. That is a
perk of being rich.
When the time came for the flight to leave and Paris and
Nikki to go their separate ways she apparently couldn't stop crying. So, I'm
guessing that this is love. Does anyone also find it odd that Paris broke up
with Paris and now dates Paris' sister at least name wise. It is kind of
freaky. If he starts dating a Barron the circle will be complete.]
Ah, the glory days of Paris and Paris. Like looking in a mirror. Nikki Reed has been known to be a bit of a bad girl, so maybe she doesn't mind sharing a dirty peen. Perhaps it's a turn on. Who's knows what's hip with the up-and-coming movie stars these days. I personally wouldn't let anything that had touched Hilton's pussy near me, but there's different standards for
everyone!
[Photo Credit: The happy couple.]
I'm sorry! Sometimes I'm so weak. Today was supposed to be Megan Fox blackout day in the media and I was all for it - then I ran across this perfectly compiled list, via E!, of some of Megan's most outrageous bon mots and I got sucked in. Some evil pulsated through me that said "run with it." It's probably the same evil that caused me to be a slacker and drink rum all day by the pool. Summer inertia, I'm sure of it. Thanks E! Online for fucking it up my program. You are my kryptonite. With no further ado: 1. Golden Globes, January 2009: "I am pretty sure I'm a
doppelgänger for Alan Alda. I'm a tranny. I'm a man."
2. FHM, June 2007: "I forget to flush the toilet.
Friends will tell me, 'Megan, you totally pinched a loaf in my toilet and
didn't flush.' "
3. GQ, September 2008: "Olivia Wilde is so sexy, she
makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands."
4. New York Post, November 2008: "I'm obsessed with
[Zac Efron]. What you don't know is that Zac and I are the same person. It's
like Janet and Michael [Jackson]. We are the same person."
5. Esquire, May 2009: "Let me tell you what it's really
about. High School Musical is about this group of boys who are all being
molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron's dad. It's about them
struggling to cope with this molestation. And they have these little
girlfriends, who are their beards. Oh, and somehow there's music
involved."
6. GQ, October 2008: "If you eat Chinese food, your
farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out
like Mexican food. And milk, it's like--you can smell the warmth in the
fart."
7. Comic-Con, July 2009: "I would eat Rob Pattinson so
that I could steal some of that pretty. I wanna be pretty like he's pretty. I
want that James Dean, that sexy-ass hair."
8. Esquire, May 2009: "I have no question in my mind
about being bisexual. But I'm also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who
was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty
that I'd never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man."
9. GQ, June 2009: "When you think about it [actors are]
kind of prostitutes. Other people are paying to watch us kissing someone,
touching someone...It's really kind of gross."
[Photo Credit: Sigh.]
Finally, someone was bold enough to say something - and it's from a credible source! Angelina Jolie has fallen off Vanity Fair's Best Dressed list. I'll say that it's about damn time. Her shapeless shifts in neutral colors are consistently the big yawn. I have a hard time believing that a woman who is world-renowned for her daring life choices could be so boring to look at. Why play it safe with the frocks? You used to wear a vial of blood around your neck for god's sake! Angelina - where are you? I think she's been drinking a little too much of the "earth mother/saint" water. Time to snap out of it! Reputation rehabilitation is complete - we're ready for your sexy side again. Click here for more details on who did make the best dressed list. [Photo Credit: Boring!]
Remember that little blurb about a brief dinner date between Denise Richards and Bradley Cooper? As Celebitchy pointed it, you'd think Bradley's people would have been the first to deny the interaction. Rather, they've remained quiet. Who did shoot down the rumor, publicly no less? Denise herself, because god forbid she be linked to an actual movie star. I love how she laments about her treatment in the press - all while courting it every step of the way. Hello - you're on a reality show! Details, least you were thinking the Cooper/Richards assignation was true: ["It's such bullsh-t. I hate it and it's such an example that
some of these magazines literally concoct something from a piece of [expletive]
and make up this whole story that we're down at the restaurant," Richards
scoffed. "It is BS and I barely even met the guy. We were both guests on Jimmy
Fallon's show. That is it, it's another one of those. Christ, if it's Bradley
Cooper it's fine, but I've had so many awful stories about me but this just
pisses me off that they can just make something up and print it."]
Oh, god. Yes Denise, the tabloids are soooo desperate for news about your life that they'll just make any old thing up. Puh-leeze. You'd die without the attention and you probably phoned that "tip" in yourself. I'm on to you, crazy eyes.
[Photo Credit: Classy.]
Debbie Gibson thought she had five pounds to lose, but instead ended up dropping seventeen. Who helped her up the ante? Her own physician boyfriend, Rutledge Taylor who specializes in preventative medicine. Gibson says the regime was difficult, but that she's very happy with the results. It could also be a result of living off nothing but air - starvation can make you giddy. Debbie (or Deborah, as she likes to be called now) has made a serious mistake. She looks amazing and she's let the proverbial cat out of the bag as to how she attained the results. Don't you think desperate socialites will be circling her doctor boyfriend, hoping to swoop in for a steal? To look that hot and get it for free, with the help of a supportive mate? Girl, you may as well just put on your boxing gloves and threaten to take all comers. [Photo Credit: Look at me bitches!]
Avril Lavigne's marriage has the been the subject of much speculation. She's been hitched for several years now to Deryk Whibley from Sum 41 - for what that's worth. Are they happy? Did they get married too young? What's really going on there? Well, the brat doesn't seem to be doing much to dispel any rumors. Avril's been seen doing some heavy duty partying - and a certain greasy oil heir always seems to be nearby. Details: [While Deryk Whibley was performing onstage with his band,
Sum 41, his wife, Avril Lavigne, was spotted partying on the French Riviera
with oil heir Brandon Davis, sparking rumors that the pair are getting closer
by the day. Avril hit the scene in St. Tropez a few days after Brandon flew in
on July 16. "Brandon and Avril hang out together all of the time, but
it's unclear if Deryck is award of it," a pal reveals. "Brandon and Avril are
always careful not to be photographed together."
Although a rep for Avril says that she and Brandon just happened to be at the same yacht party and Brandon is "just a friend," an insider questions whether it's really a coincidence that they were both here at the same time. In recent months, Avril and Brandon, 30, were spotted all over LA, including West Hollywood bar El Carmen, Pace restaurant, and partying at hotspot MyHouse. But the French getaway definitely appeared to lift her spirits. Just days before, Avril, 24 and Deryck, 29, were having a more low-key time at Madeo in LA together. "She looked miserable when she was leaving," says a witness.]
Brandon Davis is the ex-boyfriend of Mischa Barton, who's been known to do some serious partying of her own. Coincidence or ongoing theme? At any rate, I totally believe Avril and Brandon are hooking up. They're both selfish hedonists who love to party and both have funds to, umm, share their bounty. And Deryk? He must also have something on the side or he simply must not care. Open relationships are all the rage!
[Photo Credit: Classy!]
Well, this is one way to kick off the day! So, while I was floating around in the pool yesterday sipping on rum, I breezed across a blurb in US Weekly about Jason Statham hooking up with The Hills cutie/bad girl Kristin Cavallari. You know, research. I promptly forgot about this intriguing tidbit until I cruised Crazy Days & Nights. Oh, yeah! A dirty hookup. Rum and sun - I don't regret a thing, but I'm glad Entertainment Lawyer helped jog my memory. Details: [So, it was surprising to see in US Weekly that Jason was
spotted making out and with Kristin in the corner of some party. I mean someone
from The Hills? Really? You would think he could do a whole lot better. Kristin
isn't ugly but she is on The Hills. Come on.
Apparently the relationship isn't
serious and was described as a hookup. The source also said it was going to
happen again. At that point it isn't a hookup.]
Hmm, how did this information get leaked? Who is this convenient source? Who would benefit? How hot are these "just for sex" meetings and how long has it been going on? So many questions! All I can say is ratings for The Hills aren't the only thing that seem to be rising...
[Photo Credit: Jason Statham] [Photo Credit: Kristin Cavallari]
What exactly is Sienna Miller trying to promote? The insatiable man-stealer stars in the upcoming (rumored) crap fest G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra and, while she's not shirking her promotional duties, she sure has an interesting take on getting press. She already entered a wet t-shirt contest of one when she showed up at a recent G.I. Joe screening event via a speed boat - and happened to be wearing a thin white shirt. Up next? Going braless and flashing "side boob" on Regis & Kelly, naturally. Leave it to Sienna to make daytime television R-rated. Click here for the video of Miller sluttin' it up. [Photo Credit: Why would you choose that outfit for a public appearance? It must be killing her that Jude Law got another chick pregnant. She'll never be completely over him.]
Looks like Cameron Douglas, the son of Michael Douglas with his first wife, is in a world of trouble. I guess this is what comes from having Catherine Zeta Jones for a stepmother. Oh, kidding. He sealed his own damn fate, in a most serious way. Details, via the New York Post: [The son of actor Michael Douglas was arrested in New York
for possessing a massive amount of crystal meth with intent to distribute it,
law enforcement sources said this evening. Cameron Douglas, 30, was busted on July 28 at the Gansevoort
Hotel by a DEA task force, the sources said. The bust stemmed from an undercover operation that
determined Douglas had allegedly had a half-a-pound of the drug. The drug sells for approximately $80 a gram, meaning Douglas
had dealt a little more than $18,000 worth of the substance.]
Ouch. Hollywood and daddy's bucks can't save you from this one - and if it does, our justice system is truly fucked.
![Photo Credit]](http://images.rottentomatoes.com/images/object/event/wireimage/5/461/016_g.jpg){kind=link}
Rumors of financial instability within the Playboy enterprise have been running rampant for awhile, but this seems to confirm it: Hugh Hefner has sold his personal mansion. Note that it's his personal mansion, located next door to the iconic Playboy estate - but that still doesn't seem to bode well for the aging swinger. No wonder Holly Madison fled to Vegas. A calculating girl knows when to get off a sinking ship!
So immature, but I couldn't resist. Think there's any privacy in fame? Guess again!
How did the beautiful Farrah Fawcett keep up her sham of a relationship with Ryan O'Neal? Now that Farrah has passed, the dirty laundry is being aired about Ryan and it's not pretty. All the better that she was smart enough not to marry him - and that she left him nary a penny in the end. Disturbing revelations, via September's Vanity Fair: [The late Farrah Fawcett graces the cover of Vanity Fair
magazine's September 2009 issue.
The article is a particularly scathing account of the dysfunctional
relationship between the actress and Ryan O'Neal, as well as his estranged
relationship with his children.
One startling revelation is that O'Neal hit on his own
daughter at Farrah's funeral.
Tatum O'Neal, who hadn't seen her father for several years prior to
Fawcett's death, ran into her father's arms after the memorial service and
hugged him. He didn't recognize
her and said, "You have a drink on you?
You have a car?" She
replied, "Daddy, it's me -- Tatum."
She acknowledges, "That's our relationship in a nutshell. You make of it what you will."
Tatum said that the relationship between father and daughter
deteriorated when she was 16-years-old and he began his relationship with
Farrah. She doesn't blame Fawcett,
who she said was inspirational, beautiful and kind.]
It's sad that only death Farrah's found peace. As for Ryan - I don't think there's peace for him, no matter where he may roam. Sick stuff.
[Magazine Cover: As it's been since June, she'll share coverage with Michael Jackson.]
But wait, don't look at me. Samantha Burke, the young model pregnant with Jude Law's fourth child, held a press conference to ask for privacy. Let me say that again - she gathered the rabid media on the lawn of her mother's home, stepped outside to a phalanx of flashing bulbs and (with the aid of her lawyer) asked for privacy. In a hugely rude generalization, I've always heard tell that models aren't too bright. Samantha has just confirmed that stereotype for me.
Ah, the holy love of Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. It's about to get more special. Read on: [After four years of marriage Demi Moore is celebrating her
anniversary with husband Ashton Kutcher by taking his last name. Demi was born Demi Gene Guynes and is on her third
marriage. From 1979-1985 she was
married to Freddie Moore, 1987-2000 Bruce Willis, with whom she has three
beautiful daughters, and then married Kutcher in 2005. Demi got her stage name from her first husband and felt
hesitant to switch it but a source close to Moore said that she finally feels
like the time is right to become Demi Kutcher.]
I'm not sure about the "beautiful" daughters part - but I do agree they had three kids. Bitten & Bound is nicer than me! My aunt and I used to call her "Demi - I've Got Mine - Moore." Now we're going to have to work hard to come up with a new nickname - though some dirty/inappropriate things immediately came to mind. Don't mean to brag, but I'm kind of a genius that way. A genius that will be spending the day by the pool drinking margaritas, because that what it takes to fuel this kind of brilliance. Ha!
Lindsay Lohan got a big-time job, y'all - with a real, honest-to-goodness director and cast! Check it out: [LOLhan is employed! Linds is officially a part of the Machete cast, the new film
from Grindhouse director Robert Rodriguez, and rumored to be co-starring the
legendary Robert De Niro! Lohan cryptically confirmed the news via her official
Twitter this weekend. Tweets Lindsay: "something was made official today!!!!!!!!!" She then linked to the IMDB profile for Machete with her
name listed in the credits.]
I wonder what role she'll play. I hope she's not typecast. Is that the impetus for the blonde 'do? So many questions! I hope this goes well for Lindsay - it would be nice to a turn around...
Oh, that naughty Angelina Jolie - she's in trouble, again! This couple has allegedly hit what must be the mark of their millionth fight. Do they get frequent flyer miles for this bullshit? This time Angie and partner Brad Pitt are fighting over parenting in a war zone - literally. More: [It was intended as an early eighth birthday present for
their son Maddox. But Angelina Jolie's decision to take the little boy to what
Brad Pitt saw a dangerous war zone brought on one of the troubled couple's
biggest fights yet. According to a close associate, Brad was livid after
Angelina went against his wishes, taking Maddox to Iraqi refugee camps on July
23. "He told her that it's no place for a child Maddox's age,"
the associate explains. "But she insisted it wasn't dangerous and took him
anyway."
After Maddox and Angelina returned from their three-day trip
to Iraq and Jordan, Brad lashed out at Angelina. "He called her
irresponsible," explains the associate. "He had told her taking Maddox to Iraq
was ridiculously dangerous, but she disrespected his wishes and went anyway."
Instead of talking things through... Angelina fired back at
Brad. "She said Brad's ignorance about how dangerous Iraq is underlines why she
should take trips there with Maddox - so he can know better."
The fight escalated until they were "both talking and
screaming at the same time," the associate says, adding that while "Angie
finally backed down," the pair slept in separate bedrooms that night and have
barely spoken since.]
Well, that is an interesting birthday present for an eight year old. Granted, this is a unique spin - but I'm sooo tired of these stories. No one could sustain a relationship if they supposedly fought as much as this duo. However, I do have a sneaking suspicion that Brad is thrilled for his upcoming promotional tour. That guy likes to party!
You know, if I were a mid-level television star attempting to transition into movie stardom I would totally be rude to every fan in my path. That way my superiority would be established and they would worship me - even more than they already do. It turns out Hayden Panettiere and I have the same plan, so I'm totally on my way! Read on: [Sources say that Hayden refused to sign an autograph for a
fan after exiting LAX. She was in New York doing press for her new movie, "I
Love You Beth Cooper". She must've been crabby, because she totally blew this
poor guy off. And all he wanted was a couple of nice words and an autograph. She snarled at the guy, "Get a life and a real job." Classy! A snitch on the scene said, "She was so nasty and insulting
to the poor guy for no apparent reason. It's not like she was being hounded by
a bunch of people."]
Well, she is better than us, so it's well within her rights. As she's said before, "Thank god I'm not that." Meaning a "real" person. She certainly isn't acting like one...
[Photo Credit: By the way, I've heard "I Love You, Beth Cooper" sucks ass. Vote with your dollar and say "no" to Hayden on the big screen.]
I'm willing to give just about anyone the benefit of the doubt, with a few important caveats. Mass murderers, George Bush and executives at McDonalds can piss off, but just about everyone else gets a second pass. Katherine Heigl? Well, she's willingly shot herself in the foot so many times that I've really begun to wonder what in the hell is wrong with her. Remember when she was complaining about that 17 hour work day - on national television no less? Well it turns out it was her fault. Jesus Katherine - nuts much? Via I'm Not Obsessed: [Remember when Katherine Heigl did her press rounds for 'The
Ugly Truth' and complained about how long her first day back at 'Grey's
Anatomy' was? "Our first day back was Wednesday and it was -- I'm
going to keep saying this because I hope it embarrasses them -- a 17-hour day
which I think is cruel and mean." Well, it turns out the day was that long... BECAUSE OF
KATHERINE. Someone tipped off Ken Levine, a TV writer, that the Grey's Anatomy actress was
entirely at fault.
"Poor Katherine Heigl. What she neglected to add was
this: This 'cruel' shooting schedule was only to accommodate HER and her needs.
The producers graciously shuffled things around so she could go off and do
promotion for her new film. Also, with union rules, the producers had to pay a
ton of overtime and penalties to make this happen. The thanks they get is
Katherine Heigl going on national television hoping to embarrass them,"
Levine wrote on his blog.
No rep confirmation of course. Do you think Katherine would
just push blame like that even though she knew it was all her fault?]
She's off her freakin' rocker. I can't recall, at the moment, an actress who comes across so self-entitled while simultaneously cementing her bitchy attitude with quotes on record. Oh, wait. Megan Fox. Sorry, it's really late and I'm drinking red wine. The only difference is Megan's unrelenting hotness is protecting her. Katherine is not fairing so well on the public prosecution scale. Perhaps she should consider divorce so the general population perceives her as available - i.e. fuckable. Oh, that and shut her mouth and hire a top-notch publicist. Look at me, full of advice!
[Photo Credit: She could have had it all.]
It breaks my heart to say this, it really does. I don't know where Michael Cera found his big head, but it certainly seems to fit. The former cutie is turning into a slimeball - and fast. Cera has famously held out on the rest of the cast of Arrested Development and now he's breaking hearts. Details? Oh, yes:[Talk about awkward! Michael Cera has dumped his longtime
love Charlyne Yi, 23 - just as the co-stars are beginning a lengthy promotional
campaign for their comedy Paper Heart.
"Charlyne is beyond sad," says a source. "And the breakup is so much harder because she'll have to see him on tour." The three-year relationship fell victim to Michael's skyrocketing career, says the source. His shoots kept them apart for long stretches of time- and it didn't help that Michael, 21, has become a bit of a heart-throb.
"He's been with her since before he was super-famous, and
now all these girls fawn all over him," says the source. "He's just itching to
date other people. As hard as it will be for Charlyne, he'll probably be out
with someone else very soon."]
Yeah, he's ready to get out on the scene. Forgot long-term unconditional love with someone who knows you. It's time to get your dick wet, dude! Have fun. And really nice timing, by the way. Very classy. All those geek-lovin' fans are in for a treat.
