I Think He's Confused About The Meaning Of The Word "Parody"

October 26, 2009 by
Jenna Zine
ojina-noa-jennifer-lopez-married-couple-1997.jpgJennifer Lopez's first husband is set to make a film about his days with J.Lo and her butt - if only she'd let him! Ojani Noa would very much like to tell you about his marriage to Lopez in the form of a "mockumentary." I, for one, am all for it - I always thought there was a touch of "Spinal Tap" to Jennifer. Naturally the Queen Bee ("b" is for bottom!) ain't gonna let this go down without a fight. Here's the juicy scoop, via Perez: 

[Jennifer Lopez's legal team have sent a cease and desist letter to halt production of How I Married Jennifer Lopez: The J-lo and and Ojani Noa Story, a mockumentary about life with the star. The film, which is currently casting and scheduled to shoot in February, chronicles the life of Ojani Noa, a model/waiter/Cuban immigrant, and his pursuit of Jennifer, similar to Borat's love of Pamela Anderson.  

But, this is not the first time he's tried to capitalize on the fame of his ex-wife! Noa received an injunction in 2007 to prohibit him from "licensing, disseminating, distribution... any book manuscript or other written materials which contain private or intimate details about Lopez or Noa's relationship with Lopez." Although he claims that this film is a "100% parody," there is no doubt he has it out for her!

Noa blames Jennifer for never being able to get his career back on track and cheating him out of a proper divorce settlement. Oh, and she supposedly effed a bunch of dudes while married! "The whole movie is about me coming to this country and getting my dream shut down by somebody who I thought was a good person," said Noa. "I was in totally in love with her. I gave my soul to her. It wasn't my fault she shared it with 3 people. I was angry."]

She shared Noa's soul with three other people? Or is he saying his soul resided in her vagina, of which she generously shared, while they were hitched? If that's the case, I think Ben Affleck's soul might still be trapped in there as well. I wish Jennifer would get out of the damn way and let Ojani make his docu - err - mockumentary. Lopez bugs the shit out of me, but I would still pay to see this hot mess of a film.

[Photo Credit: The formerly married couple in happier days.]

Leave a comment