Yep, I can draw some pretty clever analogies. I'll bet you didn't see "pirouette" and "ballerina" coming in the same sentence. Anyway, on to the dirty details - and believe me, there are some. First up, Page Six: [Is Natalie Portman a home wrecker? The notoriously private
actress has reportedly been dating Benjamin Millepied, 32, the New York City
Ballet dancer who's choreographing her new movie, The Black Swan. "They've been dating since the fall, although she told friends that she
hasn't gone public with it because she was waiting to see if things got
serious," a source tells Page Six. "But the real reason she was quiet
about things is that Ben had a live-in girlfriend of three years when they met.
She was a ballerina at the American Ballet Theater. She had been talking about
marrying him and was blindsided by the split. She moved out right after New
Year's Eve." A spokeswoman for Portman said, "We have no comment
about her personal life."]
That definitely sucks for the ballerina. All those years of starving yourself and working your ass off - only to have some actress swoop in and steal your boyfriend the second you turn around. Of course this Ben character was bound to cheat - it's Natalie Fuckin' Portman, for god's sake. Situations like monogamy can get pretty confused when Natalie and Black Swan costar Mila Kunis are making out in front of you! If you think that's a colorful description, check out this opinion piece from D-Listed:
[Page Six is accusing the all-knowing, all-perfect Natalie
Portman of taking a sledgehammer to a ballet dancer's happy home and snatching
him away to hump pesticide-free turnips with her in the garden. Or whatever the
hell she's into.
A source is saying that Natalie's vag has been pirouetting
on Benjamin Millepied's peen since the fall. Natalie and 32-year-old Benjamin
met on the set of The Black Swan. Benjamin, who is a member of New York City
Ballet, is one of the movie's choreographers.
I'm giving Natalie too much credit. There's no way her
vagina can charm a snake out of its pot by humming "There's a place in
France." Only my homewrecky hero Sienna Miller can do that. Natalie didn't
wreck any home. Benjamin's life was probably too exciting, so he decided to
bore it down a bit by hanging out with that limp rutabaga.]
I'd like to take Natalie to task, but how can I top that spanking?
[Photo Credit: I never got the man-eater vibe from her. How wrong one can be...]
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