Sometimes I wish the world held more surprises, but there is a certain comfort in knowing there are some constants out there. One of them being that John Mayer will most likely never change. He loves to weigh in on all sorts of topics - and he likes to believe that he has all the answers. John has even solved Tiger Woods' crisis - just slip off the ring, dude! I'm sure Elin will be thrilled with Mayer's theory. Details from The Independent, via Evil Beet: ["Tiger Woods' problems come from him being married. The
end," Mayer explains. "It has nothing to do with control. If Tiger Woods was a
single guy, what sort of angle would there be to a text message? If Tiger Woods
was single, and he texted a girl and said 'I wanna wear your ass like a hat,'
why would that ever hit the news? I can text whatever I want to anybody in the
world; I'm not married. I write a lot of dirty text messages to girls, and
you've never seen any of them. Why? Because if a girl brought a dirty text
message from me to the newspapers, they'd say 'I don't have an angle here.
Someone wants to wear your ass like a hat? Big deal. He's 32 years old. He's a
single guy. If John Mayer has a wife and sends dirty texts, then we got a
story.' And that's why I won't do that. When I get married that's gonna be my
vows, 'Do you, John Mayer, take this woman to have and to hold, to wear her ass
like headgear?' Yes, I do--you're the one whose ass I wanna wear like a hat for
the rest of my life."]
I guess John fits in those dirty texts to girls in between masturbating. Or is that a simultaneous thing? I'm sure he's quite skilled at both. And really, Mayer is missing the point. Is anyone surprised? Even if Tiger were single - the lying, cheating and lack of protection (of heart and body) would be a problem for any girlfriend. It's Tiger's alleged sex addiction and very real disregard for anyone but himself that would get him in hot water - with or without a wedding band. By the way, Mayer is ironically giving us an uncensored glimpse (one of his favorite things) into how he treats women. Are you listening, Taylor Swift?
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