I'm still on such a high from the Oscars you'd think I'd taken home one of the statues myself. I thought the ceremony was pretty damn entertaining - definitely a step up from years past. I kept wishing for more screen time with hosts Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. They each had a wonderful presence in their own right - the rumor that the 30 Rock scribes helped provide the banter didn't hurt matters either. The E! Red Carpet extravaganza was, as usual, amazing. It stood out all the more so, compared to the awkwardness of the actual carpet action on ABC, the channel televising the ceremony. (Hello, Kathy Ireland!) Though my love for Neil Patrick Harris knows no bounds, I didn't really care for the opening musical. However, he did pull it off with aplomb. See the complete list of winners here. There's still so much to process, but some of the more bizarre highlights include:
* The red carpet was pretty fast-paced, but my favorite moments were: A shy Jason Reitman refusing to be introduced to James Cameron. Charlize Theron's solo glide, clad in a tittie-enhancing dress. Bold! Of course, Gabourey Sidibe owned it by comparing "fashion to porn" and her dress to "the money shot." Bonus point for the fist-bump with Keanu Reeves.
* Joel Madden was hired to DJ for the audience during commercial breaks to "keep the energy up." There are so many pre-rehabilitated image Nicole Richie jokes I'd like to make right now.
* A gorgeous Cameron Diaz flubbing her lines, with an improv-savvy Steve Carrel by her side to save the day.
* That crazy old lady (Elinor Burkett) bombing the stage during Roger Ross Williams' acceptance speech. I love how the term "Kanye West moment" has come to define an embarrassing breach of etiquette in the lexicon of popular culture, versus the actual douchebag himself. This incident was definitely that moment.
* Demi Moore's entrance in those sky-high shoes deserved an award in itself. Kudos to all the ladies who navigated those slick, opaque stairs in couture and heels. I loved the special tribute to John Hughes. "The Death March," as it's often referred to, was queued up by the aforementioned Moore. It was bittersweet to see both Patrick Swayze and Brittany Murphy. Shock-waves are still reverberating over the exclusion of Farrah Fawcett. My personal shock included the absence of Ashton Kutcher on Twitter last night. I thought that was his second home.
* The show producers half-assed the Avatar spoof. Rumor has it they were worried about pissing off James Cameron, then learned he allegedly has a sense of humor. So Ben Stiller showed up in full Avatar regalia, but sans Sacha Baron Cohen.
* Twilight stars Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner showed up as promised. The duo introduced a horror montage to help shine a spotlight on the oft-overlooked genre. That was a surprise. What was not a surprise? Kristen's completely awkward, glum and miserable demeanor. Girl can't even ratchet it up a notch for the Oscars? I'm so over her bad attitude.
* Mo'Nique's awesome acceptance speech was filled with gratitude. It's no surprise she won for Precious. I'm done typing the Sapphire et al. We know it's based on a novel.
* Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin's Paranormal Activity spoof was freakin' hilarious - and about a thousand times better than the movie.
* As far as I could tell, the extended dance montage was inserted into the show so the stars would have a chance to hit the bar.
* The gargantuan ceremony ended on a high note. I was absolutely thrilled to see Sandra Bullock, Jeff Bridges and Kathryn Bigelow take home the top honors! Is it me, or did Tom Hanks skip a step when announcing Hurt Locker as Best Picture? No buildup. Bam! He announced the winner with no fussy preamble. That's what she said. The surprise Avatar loss for Best Pic restored my faith in the voting ability of the Academy members. Sometimes the best work does win. Schwing!
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